Chapter Five - It All Comes Down To This

“Noona?”

Dara glanced up from her phone and for the first time, noticed that Youngbae was sitting next to her. “Huh? Were you saying something?” she asked, tilting her head at him.

He chuckled and shook his head. “It wouldn’t be good if you zone out during your recording with Jiyong today, Noona.” He teased.

Dara tensed, and let out a shaky laugh. “He’s that scary?” She ran a hand through her hair, nervous. Her phone vibrated in her hand, momentarily snapping her out of her worries.

Dara, eat dinner with me tomorrow night.

Dara stared at the text, wondering how in the world Lee Minho’s number was in her phone. He was seriously annoying her. Throughout the whole shoot yesterday, he would always touch her and give her those devilish smiles. She was uncomfortable the whole time, but she forced herself to ignore it so she wouldn’t ruin the whole music video.

“Ahh, you’re so sneaky Ssantokki!” Bom, who sat on the other side of her, leaned on her shoulder as she eyed the text.

Teddy, who was setting up the TV to watch their ‘Lies’ performance from earlier, glanced at them. “What is it?” he asked curiously at the two.

Dara let out a nervous laugh and pulled her phone closer to her chest, effectively hiding it from Youngbae, who was obviously trying look at her phone. “I-It’s nothing!” she stuttered. She turned and gave a snickering Bom a dry look, promising revenge.

There was a swift knock on the door, and soon after, a cameraman walked in. “Jiyong is coming soon,” he said, starting to film the group.

Dara felt butterflies in her stomach. This was it. She was practicing all night last night, barely getting any sleep. She wanted her voice to be perfect for his song.

Teddy started to play the video, and everyone began to watch their performance.

“Ah, I messed up there. I was too early.” Dara commented, her eyes never leaving the TV.

“I see,” Teddy laughed.

Dara felt the camera directed at her, so she tried to remain nonchalant about her mistake. She wanted to frown. Last night, she was too focused on her feature, which was why she didn’t really bother to practice for 2ne1’s performance.  She sat down next to Youngbae, upset that she couldn’t manage to balance out her priorities.

Suddenly the door opened, revealing an exhausted Jiyong.

His eyes were unfocused, but he kept on moving, not acknowledging Dara. He sat next to Youngbae and started to converse with the others.

Maybe it was because of the cameras he was acting like this?

They’ve been warned countless times by Sangjamnim that they were being too obvious; the fans were becoming suspicious. So they’ve agreed to show as little contact as possible in order to pacify them. It hurts, but they’ve agreed it was the best for their careers.

Once Jiyong was informed the studio was ready for the session, he stood. He glanced at her briefly and said, “Dara-noona, come on.”

Dara froze.

He only called her ‘Noona’ when he was angry.

_

Jiyong wanted to pout and stomp his feet. He didn’t want to record today. He just wanted to talk to Dara. He wanted things to go back to normal.

However, with the cameras hovering around, he was helpless.

So for now, he was the genius idol G-Dragon, not the Kwon Jiyong that belonged to Dara.

 He pulled out his lyrics sheet and sat on the table, watching as she timidly sat on the couch facing him. He grew frustrated after realizing that she’s lost weight, and that she looked exhausted. His frustrations increased ten-fold since she hasn’t made eye contact with him yet, and that her movements seemed shaky.

After a few moments, she became serious. “Alright, let’s do this.”

So, for the next thirty minutes, they went over the song.

Bothered by the tense atmosphere, he chose to say something. Jiyong hoped that Dara would actually speak a few words to him, even if it’s not the words he wanted to hear. “I have to go out later, at 4AM,” he casually said, looking at the camera. He turned to Dara, and gave her meaningful stare. “You’re not tired are you, Noona?”

Dara looked at him with dewy eyes. “I didn’t get any sleep yesterday,” she said, letting out a small giggle as she ran her hands through her hair.

“Really?”

I couldn’t notice, he thought grimly.

“I saw what you did yesterday, just now.” He said, grinning. He turned to face the camera, continuing his story. “She was the only one who made a mistake.”

Dara shifted in her seat. “I didn’t make a single mistake during practice,” she defended.

Jiyong let out a small chuckle. “Everyone else was doing this, but only she was like this with a big smile.” He teased, dancing out the part. “She was the only one who was laughing and doing that!”

Dara laughed along with him, but he knew that it was forced. Usually, she would play along with his antics, but her eyes said otherwise. She was hurt.

“The song made me breathless.” She replied lowly, laughing to cover up her true feelings since the camera was focused on her.

Jiyong couldn’t say anything. Having known Dara for so long, he was the only one in the room that recognized her slip-up. “Should we start recording?” he asked, trying to alleviate the atmosphere. It was worse than before.

Dara just nodded and got up from the couch. She didn’t even spare him a glance as she walked to the booth.

Jiyong let out a frustrated sigh.

It was going to be a long night.

-

Dara rummaged through her purse, wondering where in the world her keys were. She just finished recording with Jiyong, and was on her way to her car when she realized she didn’t have her keys. She sat in the lobby of the YG building, the items from her purse strewn about on the table in front of her.

Think Dara, think! Where was the last time you’ve had them?

She remembered driving from the apartment to the YG building, locking her car and with the keys in her hand, walked into the building. Then, she went to the studio where she met up with Teddy, Bae and Bom. She sat down and –

Oh no! I left in the table!

Dara groaned and sluggishly put her things back inside her purse. What was she going to do now? She checked the time, wondering who would be able to drive her home.

“Hey.”

The soft whisper made her look up in surprise.

It was Jiyong.

He sat down on the opposite side of the couch, his eyes solely focused on her.

Dara felt her heart race. “H-Hi. What are you doing here?” she asked, mentally cringing at her high pitched voice. 

Jiyong remained silent, his eyes boring holes into her soul.

“Aren’t you needed somewhere else right now?” she continued, biting her lip.

Again, there was silence.

She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Jiyong, what do you want?” she muttered, willing herself to remain calm. She felt tears gather behind her closed lids, the walls she’s built around her herself slowly crumbling after seeing Jiyong. Wasn’t he supposed to be working on his album and solo stage? She’s missed him, and the guilt of avoiding him was slowly eating her up.

“Cut the bull.” He replied curtly.

“W-What?”

Jiyong slammed his fist against the table. “For s sake, Dara, just tell me what’s wrong!”

“Nothing! Nothing is wrong!” Dara cried, slinging her purse over her shoulder.

Jiyong, as if sensing that she was about to leave, grabbed her wrist. “If nothing is wrong, then tell me why I haven’t heard from you for nearly a week?! Why have you lost weight? Why do you have dark circles under your eyes, huh?”

Dara tried to wrench her grip out of his hold, but it was no use.

“Tell me why your bandmates are begging me to ‘bring their Dara back’ then! If nothing is wrong, tell me why I stay up late at night hoping that I would get at least a text saying goodnight! Tell me why when Lee Minho was making moves on you, and you didn’t do a damn thing!” His grip went slack around her wrists, and his voice was cracking.

“What?”

Jiyong let out a bitter laugh. “I was there. Every single take killed me, Dara. You don’t understand how bad I wanted to punch that pretty boy.”

“It was work! I had to do it! And for your information, I wasn’t the one messing up. You really think I would do that to you, knowing how much I hate cheaters?!” she shouted.

“By the way you’ve been acting lately, I couldn’t help it!” he yelled back. “I had no choice! You called this relationship stupid! Are you tired of us, Dara?!”

Dara’s nose flared, and she looked away, tears in her eyes. She remembered that moment. She was calling herself stupid, not the relationship.

But why couldn’t she just say the words to explain it to him?

“I want you to know that even if you’re tired of me, I will never, ever, let you go. I fought for you in the past, and I will forever fight for you. So please, tell me what’s been bothering you. I won’t tell the others, you know that right? Don’t you realize that because you’re pushing us all away, you’re hurting us too?”

Dara’s breathing suddenly became ragged.

Then her body began to shake. Her head was bowed low, and her hands, tightened into fists, were placed on her bent knees. Tears fell from her eyes into her jeans, soaking the material.

Jiyong felt his throat constrict. He slumped down into the couch, and waited until her heart wrenching sobs died down. He gripped the edge of the cushions, forcing himself to sit still. He knew that she would only push him further away if he tried to console her. “Please, Jagiya… Let me in.”

“Go,” she whispered, refusing to look him in the eyes.

“No. I won’t leave ’til you tell me what’s wrong.”

Dara felt something in her snap. “Can you stop?! Just stop! I don’t want you here!” she yelled, her voice cracking.

“Your problems are my problems too.”

“No, it’s not! The perfect Kwon Jiyong will never have the same problems as I do!” she replied venomously.

“What are you talking about, Dara?” Jiyong asked, exasperated. Where was this coming from?

“Oh come on, as if you’ve never heard it before.” She looked at him dead in the eyes, tears still slipping down her face. “You deserve so much better than me, Jiyong. You’re incredibly talented… What are you doing with a girl like me? I’m just a pretty face. I can’t sing. I can’t dance. I can’t act. I’m nothing compared to the rest of 2ne1.” She said, all her insecurities finally bubbling to the surface.

Jiyong stood still, his mind trying to wrap around what she was saying. “Are you for real?”

Dara wiped her face again. “I don’t deserve to be part of your album. I don’t even deserve to be part of YG.” She said, mumbling the last part.

Jiyong abruptly got up and kneeled in front of Dara. He grabbed her shoulders, and stared deep into her eyes. “Jagiya, what has gotten into you? What made you start thinking this way?” he questioned.

Dara bit her lip, and replied with a small voice. “The netizens…”

Jiyong wanted to shake her. “Who cares what they say?! They’re just jealous! Sangjamnim obviously wouldn’t have signed you if he thinks you didn’t have any talent.”

“But the first time I applied…”

Jiyong wiped away a tear that slipped down her cheek. “Dara, remember what he said? You make things that seem impossible, possible. He saw that you’ve improved over the years, which he thought you couldn’t do. You’re special, Babygirl. For one person that hates you, you have thousands that love you.” He said sincerely, inwardly sighing in relief when he saw her look at him.

“You are a breath of fresh air in this industry. You give 2ne1 personality. Who else can rock that crazy palm tree hair like you? No one. Who else can sing your parts in 2ne1’s songs? No one.” He continued, never breaking eye contact. 

Dara finally broke down and grabbed Jiyong, burying her face into his neck. “It’s not fair! Can’t they see how hard I work? Don't they realize I do my best at everything I do? I can never be good enough for them! ” she cried.

Jiyong pulled her close and rubbed her back. “Dara, you’re always going to have people who are going to hate on you.  Don’t listen to them; they aren’t worth it. Focus on the people that do matter. Your millions of fans, your YG family… And even me, right? Do I still matter to you, Dara? ” He whispered.

Dara looked up, and shed more tears. “Of course you do, idiot.” She said with a small smile.

Jiyong finally felt the weight that settled over his heart disappear.  He kissed her forehead, and pulled her in for another hug.

"C'mon, let's go home. Everyone else can wait."

Because no one matters but you.

-

It's not the end yet! Thanks for reading! Mwah!