“I spy with my eye, a fish”

“That one”

“Okay…I spy with my eye a…dog. At least I think that’s a dog”

“Oh! Got it! Over there”

“Wow! Sharp eyes. Well done,” Lee Seunghyun applauded Seohyun for her eagle eyes.

The horizon of the night sky may be darker than usual that night, but there were still a handful of stars that were visible in the midst of its gloomy shades. And with those stars, imaginary little minds can conjure many wonders of constellation; even one’s that doesn’t exist, just by looking at the clusters of stars, before making out random outlines of an object high up above the sky.  That was exactly what Lee Seunghyun was doing, and Seohyun was the one who needed to find out which one he was referring to. Though it’s hard for another person to guess what the other people might imagine from the stars, she was able to pinpoint all of his thought-up constellations like a pro. The game was pretty simple, but should be extra hard for the guesser. Yet, she managed to home in on all of his imaginary objects, flawlessly like it was no big deal.

Just now, she had already guessed the twentieth fictionalized constellation that he could possibly imagine. Honestly, he was running out of idea. Unfortunately for him, Seohyun seemed like she was still able to go for another fifty more round of guessing; and he’d be lucky enough to just get through another five more rounds. But he already told her that he would accompany her until she was finally tired or bored. He actually made a promise to himself that he won’t leave her side that night until she wanted him to. The thought of leaving her after seeing her crying and begging him to stay would be unspeakably moron and cruel of him. Frequent times he had already made her cry that day, and he wasn’t planning to add another one into the tally. He didn’t understand why she would want him to hang around with her, but it’s the least he could do after what he had put her through that day. Deep down, he wondered whether it was about their accidental kiss inside the haunted house.

“Hey! When are we going to stop?”

“Till I say so,” she coolly answered his question; as if the answer was as obvious as a ‘1+1=2’ math question. Then the air went silent for a while after that, that is until he popped up another question at her.

“Why don’t you just tell me your problem?” her heart suddenly skipped a beat when the question struck her eardrum.

The expression on her face drastically changed for the worse. It didn’t take him much brain-power to tell that his question had somehow hit the bulls-eye on the list of questions that she really didn’t want to hear at that time. The crooks on her face gave it all away. However, he didn’t know whether he should celebrate it, or curse himself for asking that question. He had definitely managed to change her mood swings; no doubt about that, but it seemed that he had made it even worse than before (not that it was already bad in the first place). Gradually, regret started to overwhelm his feelings; and it didn’t take long before he started chanting the word ‘idiot’ inside his head.

“Hey! Guess what I spy now? I spy…”

“Seungri-shi. I mean….oppa!” she suddenly interjected his line before he could finish telling her what he could have possibly spied in the sky up above; nothing actually, but he just wanted to change the topic so she would forget about his question. But it was already too late. He could sense the negative vibe of grief and confusion that radiated from her. A storm was coming, and he just hoped that he was prepared for it; and also for her not to do anything unexpected that might leave him in a very sticky situation.

She was still anything but talking at that time, and the silent treatment was starting to make him choking for air. He gulped when she suddenly turned her head to look at him. Her expression was steady and emotion-free, just like any ordinary lifeless statue would look like. He gulped again when she continued to stare at him like that for the next few minutes without saying even a single word.

“Are you okay?” the question came out of his mouth, along with a sad excuse for a smile. He was feeling as awkward as a cow on ice and she was still not showing any sign of life. It was driving him moonstruck to see her like that. After a while, she finally regained the ability to talk again.

“I’m fine, I think. But there’s always something going on inside my heart whenever I’m with you today. And I just don’t know what it is,” she finally blurted out the bane of her life at that moment. She never thought that she would finally be able to tell him about the crux of the matter that had been bugging her all day. However, there was no immediate response from the other party as she expected; just that his expression slowly started to get calmer; and almost soothing to her eyes. His eyes were as if telling her that he understood her, and that he was having the same difficulties too. His lips suddenly curled into a smile when he turned his view form her face, to the ground below. He shook his head; with the smile still dangling on his lips, before he stared at her befogged frontage afterwards.

“I’m glad you said that. I thought I was the only that was feeling like this. Looks like you and I both, have a common enemy”

“You’re meaning to tell me that you have the same problem too,” dubiously, she guessed what he was saying.

“Yup! And just like you, I can’t explain what I’m feeling either,” he let out a heavy sigh as he let on those last few words.

Some part of her was really glad that he was feeling the same way too. Yet some part of her still couldn’t believe what he just said. They stared at each other again, trying to perceive any hint of trickery from one another; before it finally dawned on them that the feeling was actually, really mutual. He suddenly adjusted his head to look up at the sky after staring at each other for so long. Then, he said something that totally caught her off-guard.

“Or maybe we know what this feeling is, but refuse to admit it because we’re afraid of what the outcome might be,” the question sent earthquakes inside her mental-state of consciousness. It took her awhile before she finally managed to decipher the true meaning that was eclipsed behind those words. Could the answer really be that simple? Could she have possibly known the answer all along? And if true, does that mean that he feels the same way towards her too? Many questions bombarded her thoughts at that time.

And all questions led to one answer, ‘yes’. Yes, she knew what the feeling was, and the answer was really that simple. And since it is true, then he really does feel the same way towards her; he just said it himself just now. Her heart beat suddenly went off the chart, when she realized what the answer was. Fidgety conquered all, and she started to sweat profusely as her heart continued to beat nervously.

“Are you saying that we’re…..in love?” the million dollar question was finally uttered; and she didn’t even know where she got the strength to mutter such bold question.

He studied her features for a while, not showing any sign that he was going to answer her question any time soon. Seohyun was still having a hard time to believe what she had done just now. Was it a confession? She really felt like she had confessed her true feelings to him. And what if it was just her imagination and that he actually felt something else towards her, apart from love. She suddenly realized how stupid she was, for not considering those probabilities earlier. But she also realized that it was already too late, and that she had already made a fool of herself in front of him.

“I think it’s love too,” her eyes almost came out of its sockets and her jaws was wide open. For a short while, her brain went totally numb after that. For her, hearing him say something like that was like an approval, saying ‘I love you too’. She didn’t know how she should react at that time. She seriously didn’t. She felt like time had suddenly stopped, and that they were the only ones existing on the face of the earth at that time. No sounds were heard, accept for her heart beating vigorously inside her chest, and the sound of his breath, telling her that he was really with her at that time.

Is he saying what I think he said?

Does this really mean that we had fallen for each other?

Are we really in love?

God! What’s going on here?

She couldn’t think straight anymore at that moment.

“Hey! Would you relax and just close your mouth? You look like a retarded,” he chuckled when he saw her face. Seohyun immediately closed shut and sat straight up again; eyes on the ground now and no longer staring at him. She was fidgeting as humanly possible. Lee Seunghyun looked at her from the side, and a smile slowly crept along his lips, unconsciously.

Huh…even now, she still looks pretty as ever.

And to think that we fell for each other, just in one day.

I really wish we had met each other sooner, but….

I’m sorry Seohyun. Love doesn’t exist anymore in my dictionary of life.

I know now that I love you, but I can’t

“Come on now. We can’t possibly be in love after spending some time together at a theme park? You and you’re weird jokes, Seohyun. Never fails to make me laugh,” he laughed but only to cover up his true feelings.

He felt bitter, as bitter as gall, when he uttered those lies. Pretending not knowing what she was really feeling for him, and denying his feelings too; killing not birds, but two lovely doves with one stone at the same time. His heart was broken once, and he had already vowed to himself to never make the same mistake again. For him, love was just a stupid feeling that comes and goes like the wind. He never believed that the feeling would last forever, ever since he got his heart shattered into a million pieces by his first crush.

“Hey, are you okay? Stop playing already,” his heart ached when he told her that. He could see that she was confused and sad at that time, but continued to pretend like he didn’t have a clue. Seohyun’s face was contorted and almost looked like she was trying to stop herself from crying. He knew that she loved him and that she was feeling like crying at that time; which he was hoping that she wouldn’t. He also knew that he had just crushed an innocent girl’s love and destroyed her hope of being loved. He just made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t make her cry anymore, but when it came to love he just had to make an exception.

I’m sorry Seohyun.

I do love you.

But I’m sorry.

And I hope you’d stop loving me too.

“Yeah! I was just joking,” both of them faked a laugh. Lee Seunghyun couldn’t stand looking at her anymore and quickly looked up at the sky above. He knew that she was going to cry and he didn’t have the strength to look at her, shading anymore tears; especially when it’s because of him.

I knew it.

I knew that it was stupid of me to tell him that.

Or to love him.

Hahaha….he only thought of it as a joke.

Seohyun you idiot!

Idiot, idiot, idiot……..

A drop of tears ran down her cheeks. She quickly wiped it away, not wanting to show him that what she said was actually true. She was glad that he was looking at the night sky, and not noticing her crying at that moment; when he actually knew and was just acting like he didn’t (the irony). Lee Seunghyun continued to gawk at the stars above for a few more minutes, before he finally turned his head towards her. She noticed him looking and stared at him back with a sweet smile decorating her frontage.

He smiled at her back. He could tell that her smile was just an illusion, to hide her true feelings at that time. Just by looking at her eyes, he could clearly tell that she did cry, and the fact that she did only made him feel a whole lot worse than before. They stared at each other and continued to do so for at least five more minutes. He noticed that she was hugging her bunny-shaped bag at that time. He renewed his smile when he looked at the silly looking bag. She was hugging it dearly; like it was worth a thousand sweet memories that she could never bring herself to let go.

“You really like that bag, do you?”

“Yeah! It’s actually a gift”

“Really? Mind telling me who gave it to you?” Seohyun paused for a while when he asked her that.

She pondered about the significance of telling him about her favourite bunny-shaped bag; and the story that follows it. She didn’t see any harm; what so ever, in telling him about her fateful meeting that night with the boy the she was still hoping to see again one day. She stared at his eager eyes, before beaming a smile at him and nodding her head. She then told him about the night she ate jajangmyun together with a boy from Gwangju inside a theme park, and how he bought her that bunny-shaped bag that she loved so much. Lee Seunghyun listened intently to her story as she divulged every event that took place that night meticulously.

Before long, she finally finished her story. She breathed out a heavy sigh when she finished her story, before staring at him. And that’s when she saw the thunderstruck expression that adorned his face. She looked at him worriedly; afraid that she might have said something sensitive during her story-telling-session that ought to have hurt his feeling or anything.

“What’s wrong? Did I say something wrong?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that….I thought we would never meet again”

“What?”