The rain was falling down and the air was filled with that musty odor, the one he loved yet hated.  I remember when we were walking through here, that path we would always take before we reached the pier, Luhan and I how his cheeks would always get so rosy around this time of year.  There was always a slight rain before the cold broke in, those were happier memories of mine, moments when I would smile a lot more every time I would hear your name like when the fans scream out "HunHan!" the way you'd turn and smile and wrap your arms around me; that was all then, wasn't it?
    Luhan was upstairs fixing his hair while I stepped into the shower "Sehun ah, be ready in half an hour, okay?" I heard him yell out to me, his voice filled with so much cheer and happiness because we were finally getting away from all the fame and success, just the two of us.  I smiled at the thought of being able to spend nights with him alone, sleeping in not having to worry about waking up so early to rehearse and set dates for the new label release.  The door creaked open slightly then suddenly I felt a warm touch which startled me but one I was more than familiar with.  I turned around and smiled "Xiao Lu, come in here with me, we've got time" Luhan leaned in and kissed me, it was a soft and delicate kiss.  I felt the dryness of his slightly chapped lips mixed with the moistness of the warm water from the shower.  He smiled at me and then his eyes faced the floor my eyes eventually met his and I felt the sudden tenseness in the room, I could feel my heartbeat race like I just wanted to hold him close to me so I did.  I grabbed Luhan to my wet body, not caring if I messed his hair up because I knew something was wrong.  I felt his arms cling onto me and held tightly, "Sehun, I don't know what I'd do if you were gone from me, losing your scent, losing you, I can't…" I quickly grabbed a towel stepped out the shower and took him by the hand and sat him down, for a moment I stared into his eyes that were filled with fear and worry and then I tried to speak, my voice shaking because I couldn't bear to see him like this, hurting like this.  I just wanted to hold him so close to me and never let him go.  "Luhan, all the weeks we are separated all those times you're gone, I keep your face locked in my mind to pass the days quicker; I think of your touch and your scent, having all these thoughts of you lingering in my mind until the moment I see you again because I can never wait.  Luhan… I.. I love you.  I'll love you always, near and far."
    Luhan looked up at me and I wiped the falling tear from his eye, he gave me an innocent smile and my heart was at ease because I saw that sparkle in his eyes again.  We walked back to the room where he helped dress me and buttoned up my shirt, we decided we were going to wear matching outfits for tonight; apparently he loved the way plaid looks on me and same for him with me, ironic isn't it? We were headed out to the pier to see the couples fireworks, it was always something we would make sure we'd see.  The pier was somewhere Luhan and I would always escape to go, holding hands and laughing talking about our day, then we would sit by the edge of the boardwalk and breathe in the sea air; but tonight there was going to be beautiful fireworks dancing in the sky, all sorts of colors and designs.  He sat next to me and leaned his head onto my shoulder and then it hit 9:00 PM and a streak of light shot out from the ground, it was an amazing sight.  Luhan was quiet the whole time, just looking at everything and smiling, every now and again he'd raise up and look at me asking if I was alright since I was quiet too, but that's only because I was so lost in thoughts of him and the moment we shared, that last moment.
    I always kept holding onto those memories Luhan, even now.  The warmth of your body so close to mine, all those times we'd sneak off to buy some bubble tea, the late night movies we'd watch together falling asleep on the couch; everything.  I miss you so much it hurts.  Every time I hear the fans yelling HunHan and I have to smile and pretend like we're still there together, but we fake it now.  I can't help it but to be so cold on the outside and inside now that you're gone.  I keep reliving that moment you told me you were leaving, it was right by the pier where we would always sit feeling the breeze gently brushing against our skin, you said I can't do this anymore Sehun, it's like we have to hide all the time and we're always apart.   I can't stand having to share you all the time, being so distant for so long… I can't do this anymore.  What hurt the most was the fact that you told me you couldn't do it anymore when I thought it was everything you were willing to keep trying for.  I still have the taste of those first drops of tears that fell down my face after hearing those words from you.  I can't even be the same anymore, I don't even want to smile or act happy for the cameras.  
    Xiao Lu, I realized that our love was like white rose petals, as they open, everything is colorless, and as the white petals scatter over time on the ground our love becomes eternal, lasting forever; always reborn and you would be bloomed in my chest.  With this attachment I feel towards you, like I've grown into you, it makes me think of luscious thoughts of you- pouring into me, into my head, all the things we said and did- written down and stained in my mind; all the candy-coated thoughts, all the bittersweet thoughts- all of you, none of another are but perpetual, everlasting, and changeless.  I will always love you, Luhan, even if we're smiling at the cameras for different reasons.