It’s not that they don’t get along. They do, usually, just not when Zitao’s around. Once Zitao appears, all bets are off, and Jongdae and Wufan become mortal enemies.

                Jongdae’s not quite sure when it started, but it must have been a few months before debut. Maybe a few months after Zitao joined the company. In any case, one thing led to another, and before knew it, he was head over heels for a certain Huang Zitao.

                The trouble is that Wufan claims that he is also head over heels for the same Huang Zitao. But no, that’s not really the problem, Jongdae thinks, shaking his head as he looks at Zitao in the mirror. It’s that Zitao loves him and not me. Zitao smiles flirtatiously at Wufan, who just smiles back lazily as if he’s already assured of Zitao’s affections.

                He kind of is, though, and Jongdae knows it. He knows it, and he hates it. Wufan doesn’t love Zitao like Jongdae does.

                He remembers the day that Wufan found out that Jongdae liked Zitao. Wufan had chuckled, asking if Jongdae wasn’t being a little silly, considering that he and Zitao hardly interacted. Jongdae had assured him that his feelings were genuine, and Wufan’s entire demeanor had changed.

                “Jongdae, I’m not going to give him to you,” Wufan had said, which had surprised Jongdae. “I like him and he’s going to like me.”

                Jongdae had glared but didn’t protest, and from then on, he was wary around Wufan. He wasn’t sure the other members realized just how two-sided Wufan was, but Jongdae wasn’t going to forget it anytime soon. He still hasn’t forgotten it.

                Jongdae told Zitao, once, how he felt about him. It was right after their debut showcase in China, and at the moment Jongdae thought that his timing had been impeccable. But looking back on it, he realizes that both heightened nerves and intense excitement make for a poor confession.

                Zitao had laughed and forgotten about it. A few weeks later he confided in Jongdae that he had “a huge crush on Wufan,” and Jongdae felt the ground break open and swallow him up in a fiery hell of lava and his broken dreams.

                He looks at Zitao again, who is now sitting down in a chair, having his hair fixed by a stylist.

                He likes Zitao because of his childish charm. Zitao’s way of innocently following what he loves is endearing.

                If only Jongdae could be the thing that Zitao loves.

                They’re on a variety show one day and Wufan is, as usual, up to the program’s hosts. And then they throw a curveball.

                “What if Chen and Kris fell in love with the same girl?” the host asks, and Jongdae isn’t going to just lie.

                “I have to get her,” he says, laughing even though he’s completely serious. “She’s mine.”

                “Wow, that was a very manly answer,” one of the hosts remarks.

                “Kris, where will you put your pride as the leader?” the other host asks humorously. “How are you going to respond?”

                “I won’t let this happen,” Wufan laughs. Though he’s laughing, and Jongdae only understands what Kris has just said though the translator, Jongdae can sense the venom in his voice. Jongdae hopes his laugh looks convincing as he sneaks a quick glance at Zitao, who’s also laughing but doesn’t seem to understand the situation the same way as Jongdae and Wufan do.

                The host makes some joke that Jongdae doesn’t understand and he doesn’t listen to the translator when she attempts to explain it to him, because he’s too busy faking a smile for the camera.

                And then, of course, Zitao gives the world’s cutest self introduction, and it reinforces Jongdae’s belief that Tao absolutely must be his.

                It’s after the show and they’re in the dressing room when Jongdae decides that he needs to let Zitao know how he feels once again. But Wufan obviously doesn’t intend to let that happen, interrupting Jongdae as he approaches Zitao.

                “That was funny, right? The way the host asked what would happen if we liked the same girl,” he says in a very convincingly amicable tone.

                “Really funny,” Jongdae mutters.

                “I meant what I said,” Wufan says.

                “So did I,” Jongdae counters, and Wufan scowls. Zitao bounds over and stands in front of them.

                “Hi, Chen-gege,” he says cutely. “Hi, Kris-gege.”

                “Hi, Taozi,” Wufan says with a smile, and Jongdae can practically see the grease dripping from Wufan’s every movement. He quickly switches to Mandarin and smirks at Jongdae, who can’t understand their conversation.

                Jongdae knows that this is a bad sign for him, so he figures it’s now or never.

                “Zitao-yah,” Jongdae says, and even though he knows his voice is laced with sugar, it’s better than whatever unsavory substance found itself in Wufan’s words. “I have to tell you something really important.”

                “Aw, can’t it wait?” Wufan butts in, and Jongdae ignores him.

                “Please?” he pouts cutely at Zitao. He knows that even Zitao can’t resist aegyo, and Zitao looks from him to Wufan.

                “I’ll be right back, ge,” he says to Wufan, following Jongdae out of the room. “What is it?”

                “Zitao, I’ve told you this before,” Jongdae begins, “but I really mean it.” He takes Zitao’s hands in his and looks up at him. “I like you. I really, really like you.”

                Zitao casts him a sidelong glance and offers a nervous smile.

                “I…very funny, ge,” Zitao laughs hesitantly. He pauses, to see if Jongdae is going to laugh too, but he doesn’t. “I already…I mean, I told you that I like Kris-ge.”

                “I know,” Jongdae sighs. “But I know that you and I are right for each other.”

                “How can you know something like that?” Zitao demands. He looks almost angry, and Jongdae hopes that he hasn’t completely ruined his chance.

                “I’ll wait for you for as long as it takes,” Jongdae tells him. “I’ll be here for you even if nobody else is.”

                “Thanks,” Zitao says lightly, “but I think it’ll be better for both of us if you move on.”

                “I’m not going to,” Jongdae informs him as his heart shatters into a hundred misshapen pieces. “But I won’t bring it up again if you don’t want me to.”

                “I don’t want to be mean,” Zitao says, looking slightly regretful. “Even though I think you should move on…I…I hope you don’t think any less of me because of this.”

                “I don’t,” Jongdae replies kindly, feeling the shattered pieces of his heart splintering even further with Zitao’s beautiful apologetic smile.

                “I’m sorry,” Zitao says, walking back the way they’d come. Jongdae didn’t dare reenter the room in case he happened upon Wufan’s triumphant smirk

                Jongdae sighed. If only Zitao would see what he sees. He’d understand that Wufan doesn’t love him the same way that Jongdae does.

                But to be perfectly honest, that was what he loved about Zitao. His ability to blindly follow where his heart led him was what attracted Jongdae to him in the first place, and Jongdae wasn’t about to wish for Zitao’s personality to change just for him.

                Even so, he couldn’t help but hope that one day, Zitao would come to his senses.

                As soon as he sees her ballroom gown, Jongdae knows that Aunty Guo will be showcasing ballroom dance. Jongdae is no stranger to understanding fanservice, and he knows that he’ll be forced to dance with s.

                Fortunately, he’s standing next to Zitao, as always, and so it should be easy to secure the partner he’d been hoping for.

                And he does manage to dance with Zitao, but the circumstances are the exact opposite of what he’d wished for.

                They all pair up, and Wufan doesn’t hesitate before he chooses Luhan. Zitao notices, and Jongdae realizes that Zitao is jealous when he grabs Jongdae sharply and pulls him into a waltz.

                “You’re jealous,” Jongdae whispers, pretending to be swept away by the music as he feels Zitao’s hand on his hip.

                “I’m not,” Zitao vehemently denies his statement. Jongdae chuckles resignedly.

                “Tao-ssi, what a good dancer you are,” he says humorously, and Zitao can’t help but crack a smile.  

                “I’m not interested, ge,” Zitao laughs. Jongdae keeps his eyes closed, because even though they’re being silly, he can’t help but be depressed by Zitao’s blatant rejection.

                “Did you know that Kris-ge knows I like you?” Jongdae asks quietly.

                “Yes,” Zitao nods curtly.

                So Zitao was using him to get to Wufan. And even though Jongdae knows it makes Zitao a bad person, he still can’t help but love him. He can’t help but feel slightly happy that he’s in Zitao’s arms, despite the bad intentions behind their embrace.

                Zitao lets go of him while the others are still dancing, just in time to see Wufan spin Luhan under his arm. Jongdae can see Zitao’s teeth clenching and he knows he still has no chance.

                The dance is over and the host is suddenly saying something that seems to be exciting the fans. The crowd shrieks as Wufan turns to s, and the translator tells Jongdae and Minseok that Wufan will be dancing with one of them.

                “I need a partner,” he says, and Jongdae’s heart sinks because he knows what’s going to happen.

Zitao steps out and the fans go wild. Jongdae’s heart goes wild too, and before he knows what he’s doing, he grabs Zitao’s collar and pulls him back, tucking Zitao’s arm securely under his.

But the fans and the hosts are insistent, and Wufan says “bring it on” and motions for Zitao to dance. Zitao’s arm slides out of Jongdae’s grasp. Zitao says something in Mandarin and there’s no disguising the intense excitement in his voice. Jongdae looks on as pleasantly as possible while Zitao and Wufan dance. The crowd squeals in excitement the entire time.

Wufan dips Zitao, and Jongdae’s not even thinking properly. He hopes that his laughter looks convincing, because inside he feels like dying. Jealousy doesn’t even cover it; he’s infuriated but also depressed beyond belief.

After the show, Zitao doesn’t leave Wufan’s side, and Minseok notices the tears in Jongdae’s eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Minseok asks concernedly, looking at Jongdae’s face with worry. “Is everything okay?”

“I think there’s something in my eye,” Jongdae gives the world’s most overused excuse, but Minseok seems to believe him as he smiles and walks off to find Luhan.

Maybe Zitao was right. Maybe he should move on.

                It’s a few weeks later when Zitao sits next to Jongdae on the couch in their dorm.

                “Kris-ge and Yixing-ge are dating,” he sighs resignedly. “I’d never have guessed.”

                “Oh. I’m sorry,” Jongdae says. But the thing is, Jongdae would have guessed. He saw Wufan losing interest in Zitao. He’d expected it to happen.

                “So, want to give us a try?” Zitao asks, and Jongdae nearly chokes on his tea. He doesn’t respond, because he can hardly believe that Zitao would suggest such a thing.

                “Us?” he sputters. “Zitao, no. I don’t want to be your rebound. I like you, but I want you to like me too before we give ‘us’ a try.”

                Zitao frowns, then sighs as he lifts his legs up and pulls them towards his chest.

                “You’re right. I’m sorry. But…can we hang out? If I’m going to fall in love with you, I’ll need a chance to do that, right?” Zitao wonders, and Jongdae’s heart skips another beat.

                “You’re serious?” he asks. Zitao nods.

                “Well, okay. I was going to watch a movie, if you want. Any ideas?”

                “Jackie Chan!” Zitao cries with his endearing smile, and Jongdae is pleased to appease Zitao even though he knows he shouldn’t.

               Apparently Jongdae doesn’t find Jackie Chan movies very interesting, because he awakens as the credits are rolling.

                His head is on Zitao’s shoulder.

                “Gege,” Zitao whispers, tracing his finger ever so lightly through Jongdae’s bangs, evidently thinking that Jongdae is still asleep, “I don’t think it’s going to be very hard to fall for you.”

                Jongdae thinks he feels his heart starting to heal.

                It’s fortunate that the company had decided that Jongdae and Zitao would stand next to each other at nearly every event, because it gives the two of them time just to chat. They don’t talk about anything in particular, they just talk.

                Jongdae hopes it’s him that causes Zitao to smile far more often than he used to.

                One day in mid-August, Zitao and Jongdae are sitting down for bubble tea. It’s not the first day they’ve spent time one-on-one, but it feels different. Zitao seems nervous.

                “Are you okay?” Jongdae asks, and Zitao looks at him with his trademark intense gaze.

                “Go out with me.”

                “What?”

                “Go out with me,” Zitao repeats. “Ge, it’s been over a month since we agreed to start hanging out. And honestly, I really have fallen for you. I could tell you everything I like about you, but we’d be here for years. And I know that I’ll just learn more about you, and learn to like you more in more time, but I just want us to be together. For real. So please, will you go out with me?”

                “You like me?” Jongdae asks. Zitao nods fervently.

                “I really, really like you. You were right about me, you know. We’re right for each other.”

                “Yes.”

                “Yeah, you told me that a—”

                “No, I mean, yes, as in yes, I will go out with you,” Jongdae clarifies. Zitao’s face brightens. He says something in Mandarin that Jongdae doesn’t quite understand, but he does catch the word “ai.” Love. And suddenly Jongdae is enveloped in a crushing hug and he swears he feels Zitao’s lips on his cheek.

                The next few days (weeks? Jongdae isn’t sure) are blissful. Zitao’s like a different person with him, but in a good way. He takes control, actively shows Jongdae how much he cares for him.

                Oh, and the kisses are fairly mind-numbing as well.

                But of course, all good things must come to an end.

                “So Lay and Kris broke up,” Minseok mentions to Jongdae, and Jongdae feels that horrible sensation of panic in his gut.

                “Where is Wufan-hyung?” Jongdae asks urgently. Minseok shrugs.

                “I think he’s with Tao,” he says. “In his room. They’re talking pretty seriously, I think. They’re in Kris’s room and the door is closed.”

                Jongdae had never approved of eavesdropping but he could make exceptions even to his own rules. Pressing his ear up against Wufan’s door, he could barely make out voices.

                “I really liked you,” Zitao says. “So I have a chance now that you and hyung are over. Is that what you’re saying?”

                Wufan doesn’t respond verbally, but Jongdae’s not sure if he didn’t or if he just can’t hear him because of his pounding heart.

                “Interesting,” Zitao continues.

                “Seriously,” Wufan says. “I always liked you.”

                “I’m going out with Chen-ge,” Zitao informs him.

                “You can break up with him,” Wufan suggests. “Wait, Taozi, where—”

                The door opens and Jongdae nearly falls into the room. He looks up to see Zitao looking surprised.

                “Chenchen!” he cries, hooking his arms under Jongdae and lifting him up. “Are you okay?”

                “I think so,” Jongdae says, looking back to Wufan.

                “Come on,” Zitao says, leading Jongdae into his own room. “I don’t know how much you heard, but the nerve. It’s no wonder Lay-ge broke up with him. Ge, I would never leave you for him. I hope you know that.”

                “I do now,” Jongdae sighs with relief.

                “I know how you felt,” Zitao continues. “He chose me to be his rebound just because he knew I liked him. But I don’t think he realizes that once you’ve found someone you really love, you don’t want to go to anyone else.”

                “Love?” Jongdae asks, and Zitao smiles adoringly.

                “I love you, ge. Yeah,” Zitao says. He leans into Jongdae and kisses him tenderly, slowly and deeply. Jongdae responds passionately, and he almost feels like crying because this is exactly what’s he’s wanted for months.

                “I love you too,” Jongdae whispers. Zitao pulls Jongdae closer to him.

                “I wish I could tell you exactly how much you mean to me,” Zitao breathes against Jongdae’s ear, sending shivers down his spine.

                “I think I can guess,” Jongdae chuckles. “Because you mean roughly the same amount to me.”

                “I really, really, adore you, you know,” Zitao says. “A lot. A whole lot. I’ll never stop. Ever.”

                “Shh,” Jongdae shushes him. Zitao just kisses him again, and it’s the best damn kiss Jongdae has ever experienced, because Zitao is all his.

                By the middle of September, Wufan and Yixing are back together, happily reconciled, and Zitao remarks to Jongdae that he thinks Wufan has realized what he hadn’t before.

                “I’m glad I realized it first, though,” Zitao says, his hand tight around Jongdae’s waist. “Because you’re mine and I know it.”

                “God, I love you,” Jongdae laughs, and Zitao nuzzles his face into Jongdae’s neck.

                “Good,” Zitao says as he places light kisses on Jongdae’s collarbone. “Because I adore you.”