A/N: The italics like this are Changmin's thought's; his thoughts about Jaejoong and what he's thinking in general. Text like this is a flashback. Normal text are just normal interactions that Changmin has with people in the present time. I apologize if it's confusing to read. 

P.S. You know what's perfect to listen to when reading to this is Doue/ Why Did I Fall in Love With You by DBSK. You don't have to but it's nice to listen to it while reading because it helps set up the mood. Sorry for the long AN

I always thought that I had time. I always thought that you wouldn’t leave. I always thought that you’ll always stay right by my side.

I was wrong. I have nothing to do or to say, but send you off. I never said the right things or tell you how I really feel and now I’m running as fast as I can to send you off properly.

I can feel my phone vibrate in my pockets. I’m pretty sure it’s one of our friends calling asking me where I am. I’m running as fast as I can, just to let you go.

I’m coming close to the church. I see Junsu standing outside the church, motioning me to hurry. I ran even faster and approached Junsu.

“Ya... Changmin-ah. Why are you just coming in now? The wedding is about to start you brat,” Junsu chastised me.

Oh yeah... Now it’s too late. I’m too late. Even though it’s not tradition to have the groom choose a best man, she was kind enough to let you choose me as your best man; a friend that would send you off.

“Hurry... we have to go in,” Junsu informed me. “Oh yeah... Jaejoong wants to see you before the wedding starts,” Junsu continued.

I nod my head and began to walk to the back. Once I reached the back I saw you in a white tux that made you look beautiful. You look stunning.

“Changmin-ah, what are you doing just standing there?” I heard Yunho said.

I got back to my senses and realized that you weren’t mine anymore; you were never mine to begin with. If only I realized my feelings earlier... if only I didn’t care too much about my pride, would you continue to like me and not marry her?

As I see you prepare for your new lifetime commitment, all I could do is reminisce the time when you confessed.

*Flashback*

It was February 18, 2003 and I just turned 15. I remember how you said that you have to tell me something before we meet our friends.

We were supposed to meet at our old elementary school, where we first met. I remember riding my bike when I came to meet you.

I remember seeing that you were already there and were swinging on one of the swings. I remember scaring you as I approached from behind. You got scared.

“Yah... you scared me you brat,” you told me.

I stuck my tongue out and said, “How can you call me a brat if today’s my birthday. You have to treat me especially well today.”

“So what if it’s your birthday? I’m still your hyung remember? I’m two years older than you,” you told me.

“Yah... Jaejoong. How can you be so childish, huh?” I remember asking you in a teasing manner. “If you continue to act like that how can anyone believe that you’re already 17 and almost an adult,” I continued to tease.

“How can you say that? Can’t you tell?” I remember you said back. You flexed your small but developing muscles and said, “Look... I have muscles you brat. I’m hot.”

You said it so seriously that I couldn’t help but laugh. I laughed at how childish and close we were, despite the fact that we were 2 years apart; that never stopped our friendship.

“You’re laughing?” you said as you began to chase me around the school’s playground.

I remember we continued to chase each other and laughed at each other, until I fell. After I fell, you looked at me and looked like you were deciding whether or not to help me first then laugh at me or laugh first then help me up. I remember you laughing at me first and fell on the sand right next to me.

We just stayed on the sand as we tried catching our breath. No words were exchange, but it was still a comfortable silence.

“Jaejoong-ah” I began to say.

“Changminnie” you began to say.

I let you go first and you said, “To tell you the truth, I have something to tell you. I don’t know how but I don’t want to regret not saying it.”

“What is it? You know you can tell me right?” I encouraged you to tell me.

“I’m afraid to tell you because I don’t want our friendship to end,” you told me honestly.

“Aiy... that would never happen you know. We’re best friends till the end,” I assured you.

You remained quiet for a while until you stopped and looked at me straight in the eye saying, “I... I like you. I know that friends are not supposed to like each other but I do. I liked you since the beginning. I know that friends liking their guy friends are not right but I just do. I don't know why I'm confessing to you when I know that we may never be together but I don't want to regret not telling you how I feel. I like you Changmin-ah and I feel that I might even be in love with you. Even though I confessed to you, please don't stop being my friend.”

I remember being quiet for a while then said, “Yah... stop joking around. We still have to meet Yunho, Junsu and Yoochun for my birthday party. Hurry up and tell me what you really want to say.”

You stayed quiet and didn’t say a word. You only looked at the ground and avoided eye contact. Because of that, I knew that your words were right; you confessed to me and that you liked me as more than friends.

*End Flashback*

The only thing that I didn’t know back then was my own feelings. I didn't know that my strong urge to protect and be with you was my way of wanting to be with you. I didn't know that... until now. Seeing you about to make a lifetime commitment just reminds me that I let you go once you reached for my hand.

We remained as great friends and we became more inseparable. But now, I have to hand you over to your wife-to-be and accept that I have to let you go.

“Jaejoong, we have to be at the altar already,” Yoochun stated.

“Really? I’m getting nervous. What if she runs away and doesn’t want to get married anymore? What if she becomes one of those runaway brides,” you stated worriedly.

As a friend, I have to send you off... properly. That’s the only thing I can do.

I’m sorry for not accepting your feelings. I’m sorry for realizing my feelings too late. I’m sorry for never giving our love a try. It’s hard to see you commit your life to someone else. Just don’t forget our long and meaningful friendship.

“Why are you worried? If she runs off I’ll volunteer and take her place and be the bride, okay? Don’t worry... everything will be alright,” I assured you with a fake smile on my face.

I admit that it's my fault. It's my fault that I never understood my own feelings. It's my fault that we never knew how our relationship could be. It's my fault that we never gave it a try. It's my fault for being so stupid for not realizing my own feelings earlier. It's my fault that I never accepted your feelings. It's my fault.

“Yah... don’t joke around. I’m nervous as it is,” you stated. “... But thanks,” you continued with a brilliant and genuine smile.

“Jaejoong, there really isn’t any time left to chat, we have to go,” Yoochun repeated.

“Araso...araso,” you said as we left the back and approached the altar before the wedding march plays.

*Dum... Dum... Da...Dum... Dum...Dum... Da...Dum...*

The wedding march started to play as soon as we reached the altar. Your soon to be wife is approaching the altar with her dad walking her down the aisle.

I took a quick glance at you and you seem to look happy. You were looking straight at her with a radiant smile on your face.

That is all I could ever ask for. I hope that you won’t have any regrets like I do. I regret for letting my pride get in the way when you confessed that you like me. I regret not giving our love a chance. But the one thing I never regret was meeting and our memories together.

Even if it was just as friends or as something more, I never regret to have met as wonderful and caring man as you. Now it’s too late to confess but what I want to say is I love you.