Jiyong said didn’t escape my mind, every little detail of our little argument. I can’t seem to find reasons to fill in those empty puzzle pieces –every now and then It would made me think how everything with Jiyong seems so sudden and yet so okay. Questions filled my mind not insecurities but mere questions… questions of the past perhaps? Or maybe I’m just being delusional. I just met him a couple weeks ago and here I am thinking about vulgar thoughts of having such crucial relationship with jiyong “past,” wasn’t really in our vocabulary.

 I just can’t seem to focus on what I was doing –I decided to stay at home and do some stuff I should have been doing rather than spending my time in the club. STUDY; my mind screams but my heart tells me to just have fun but how can I when I know my parents worked their butts off for me to get to one of Korea’s most prestigious school. I have to maintain my image and reputation not just that but also being the good daughter that I have always been to my parents –at least, that’s what I recalled.

I glanced outside my open window and saw that familiar figure sitting on a wheel cheer.

 “Ji-Jiyong? “ I can hear myself stuttering. I quickly run downstairs and meet Jiyong, to my surprise he was wearing this broken smile on his face. It wasn’t the usual him, he was different from before, I could see the hurt in his eyes, the longing and his purity. I wanted him to stop smiling like that; I wanted to wipe away the pain in those eyes. Maybe the tragedy that lies behind the boundaries of the past might be enough reason for me to know what was actually going on.

“Do you really want to race?” I heard him say, voice full of hesitation.

“Ani…  not anymore Ji. If you don’t want me to then I will not,” I quickly look away, knowing he would find a way to look me directly.

“Tell me the truth,” He’s voice was stern that it send chills down my spine.

“I wanted to race because of you Ji, only you.”  I answered slowly.

Right then, Jiyong knew what he had to do. He took out his phone and played a video for Dara, it was a compilation of his entire race track events all dedicated to his best friend, TOKI.

But what caught Sandara’s eyes was the 12year old little girl.

Is that me?

She continued to watch the video until the last part.

It made her shed tears.

It was Jiyong saying, “If I win this race, I’ll confess to Toki!”

In the middle of the lap the cameraman had a call. It sounded urgent.

“Oh my gosh. Gumawo!? How did that happen? Dara won’t remember Jiyong?”

“It can’t be –Jiyong will not accept this.”

After the cameraman said the last words he looked up and saw Jiyong trembling down while clutching his chest.

“JIYOOOOOOONGGGGGG!” the cameraman shrieked with fear.

The last part of the video was Jiyong’s 14^th birthday.

Now, he was on the screen saying something…

Dara was listening intently.

Toki!

Omo! I missed you! I don’t know how you’ve been or what you have been doing lately, since, you may never remember me. I hate cars since I found out you had a car accident that made you lost your memories. Gosh, God knows how I wanted to scream my lungs out. I couldn’t live without you Toki, I don’t know how. It pains me to not talk to you, giggle with you laugh around with you, you’re the bestest best friend a guy could ever ask for and that’s the exact same reason why I love you and I will always love you. Till the day we meet again.

I was speechless of what I have witnessed. My lips were trembling as my body was weakening. It slid down to the ground not wanting to waste any minute, Jiyong kissed me with hungry lips while tears flown endlessly on his cheeks.

I parted, “ I will win that race for Jiyong, for you!” He smiled at me with assuring stance. “ I never forgot you ji –I always had you in my heart and that alone can never erase what you are to me.” I added.