​Despite his resolution to avoid the creepy guy that seemed to know something about Yunho that not even he knew, Yunho found himself again seated at Jaejoong’s table, watching him scribble various designs across blank sheets of papers. He thought back to the conversation he’d had with Jaejoong’s doctor just a few minutes earlier and scowled deeply. ​

“You’re the first person he’s spoken to since he arrived six years ago,” the man explained. “Clearly, he trusts you, somehow. You can help him, Yunho.”

​“What can I do?” Yunho retorted. “I’m not a doctor. I don’t even want to be here!” ​

“Please. Just try your best. I believe that he can be cured, just like everyone else here. It just takes the right trigger to get him to open up.”

​Yunho wasn’t in the habit of listening to adults, but there was something intriguing about Jaejoong, and as much as he hated to admit it, he was curious. But fifteen minutes had passed in silence and Jaejoong hadn’t even acknowledged his presence. The doctor had to be wrong. There was nothing Yunho could do for Jaejoong. Yesterday, he’d only spoken because Yunho had offended him somehow and he didn’t really want to go through that again. ​

He spotted Junsu on the other side of the room, engaged in an animated conversation with someone invisible, who Yunho presumed was Hyukjae. Junsu noticed him watching and beamed brightly, waving. Yunho returned the greeting with a slight lift of his hand and was about to head over to the kid, when Jaejoong’s icy grip latched onto his wrist. ​

He turned to see the other boy studying a purple crayon, fingers tracing the tip again and again, eyes fixated on it as if hypnotized. “Violet is a mysterious color, don’t you think?” ​

"Y-yes,” Yunho stuttered, attempting to pull himself free, but Jaejoong’s hand tightened on his arm. “Jaejoong…you’re hurting me…” ​

"The shortest wavelength of light on the spectrum,” Jaejoong continued, apparently not hearing him. “It bends the most when refracted. Does that make it the beginning or the end, Yunho?” ​

The sound of his name in that raspy voice sent shivers up Yunho’s spine and he desperately wrenched his wrist out of Jaejoong’s grasp. “I-I don’t know.” He knocked over his chair as he scrambled to his feet, but Jaejoong finally turned his gaze towards him, paralyzing him with a simple glance. ​

"Some shades of violet stand for sorrow and healing,” Jaejoong continued. “Other shades symbolize peace and innocence. It’s very flexible…and volatile.” He leaned forward and stared at Yunho intently. “You’re unbalanced.” ​

"What?” ​

Jaejoong’s eyes slowly scanned him over from head to toe and Yunho wanted to run badly, but he couldn’t move. Finally, Jaejoong’s gaze lazily rose to meet Yunho’s again and he smiled. ​

Yunho bolted, tripping on the overturned chair in his haste to get away. Casting a nervous glance over his shoulder at the other boy, he saw Jaejoong reach for a piece of paper and violently slash the purple crayon across the white surface several times.   ​

That night, Yunho’s dream was filled with violet shapes and the edges of his vision were clouded with purple. He felt his lips moving, screaming something that he couldn’t hear. ​

And then his scream was swallowed by violet- if words could have color, they would have been purple, and then he was choking as his voice turned to mist and wrapped around his throat and squeezed. ​

He jolted upright, eyes flying open and breathed slowly, covering his face in his hands. The door opened a crack and Yunho jumped, before he recognized Changmin peering worriedly at him. “Hyung?” he called timidly. “Are you okay?” ​

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Yunho said dismissively, and Changmin quickly backed out of the room.

​Yunho pressed a hand to his throat, where he could still feel the mist choking him and took a deep breath. “Damn Jaejoong,” he whispered. It had to be that creep who caused this dream. What was his problem anyways? Was he such a psychopath that he had to drag other people down with him?

​In any case, Yunho knew one thing for sure- he would never spend another minute with Jaejoong again. Being around that guy was literally driving him insane.   ​

Junsu looked frantic the next time Yunho saw him. “Yunho! I don’t know what to do!” he whimpered, throwing his arms around the older boy’s leg. ​

Yunho carefully detached him, as he asked, “What’s wrong?”

​“Hyukjae! He’s missing and I can’t find him anywhere! And no one will help me look for him!” Junsu cried. ​

Yunho felt his heart give a slight tug as he looked at the little boy on the verge of tears over the disappearance of his imaginary friend. “I’ll help you look,” he offered, without really realizing what he was saying. But the way Junsu’s face lit up told him he was doing the right thing. ​

"You look over there behind the bookshelves, and I’ll look over here,” Junsu directed, sprinting towards the toy bins. ​

Yunho diligently began peering behind bookshelves, until he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see one of the doctors standing behind him. “I ask you not to encourage him,” the man said quietly. “We’re finally making progress in curing his hallucinations.” ​

"Making progress?” Yunho asked. ​

"Junsu is schizophrenic,” the doctor replied. “We’ve been experimenting with various anti-hallucinatory drugs and we’ve finally found a combination that works for him. We’re hoping that if he can’t ‘see’ his friend Hyukjae, he’ll gradually come to understand that Hyukjae doesn’t exist.” ​

“Yunho! Do you see him?” Junsu asked, running over tearfully as the doctor discretely disappeared, leaving Yunho to deal with the crying kid. “You don’t think he left me, do you? Everyone leaves me. Everyone!” He was bawling now, tears soaking through Yunho’s jeans as the older boy awkwardly patted his back. ​

“That can’t be true, Junsu,” he offered lamely, but the kid didn’t even seem to hear him. ​

“Why would Hyukjae go away, too? I don’t understand it,” Junsu hiccupped, wiping his nose on the back of his hand. ​

Yunho glanced over at the doctor, who stared back impassively. How could someone who had sworn to help people and save lives be alright with inflicting such pain on such a small kid? Couldn’t he see that Junsu felt safe in his madness? Even though Hyukjae wasn’t real to them, he was very real to Junsu, and wasn’t that all that mattered? He was protected in his schizophrenia and he felt lost now that he was being cured. In a twisted way, it was cruel to help him. Not when he didn’t need to be helped. ​

“Junsu, dear, it’s time for your meds.” A smiling nurse approached with a handful of pills and a glass of water.

​“I don’t like meds,” Junsu said sullenly. “They make me feel funny.” ​

The nurse sighed, though she never lost her fake smile. “Would you be so kind as to help him, Yunho?” ​

"Uh, sure,” Yunho mumbled and the nurse turned away, leaving the pills in a smile pile on a napkin. Junsu stared at them forlornly- something in the kid’s face suggested that he knew what the doctors were doing to him, taking away the only person, real or imaginary, that he could count on. ​

"Junsu,” Yunho said so sharply, the boy looked up in surprise. “Hyukjae will be back soon. I promise.”

​Junsu responded with a tiny smile and Yunho closed his hands around the pills. Glancing around to make sure that no one was watching, he shoved them deep into his pocket, making a note to throw them away on his way out. 

As he began taking his jeans off to get ready for bed, Yunho felt something small in his pocket. Reaching his hand inside, he found a small red pill. It must have escaped him when he threw out Junsu’s meds earlier. ​

He rolled it between his thumb and index finger, examining it closely. He supposed he should throw it away, but instead, he was a bit curious about what it would do to a normal person. He really should throw it away, though; stealing prescription meds was a crime- ​

On impulse, he popped the pill in his mouth and forced it down with a glob of saliva. The outside coating was sweet, but it was bitter after the candy coat dissolved. He waited. ​

Nothing happened. He didn’t feel any different, things didn’t look warped, and his thoughts didn’t feel fuzzy. ​

Looks like anti-hallucinatory drugs did nothing to normal people. Yunho shrugged and crawled under the covers, pulling the blankets up to his chin.  

​“Yunho, wait up!” Junsu called, waving his arm frantically as he erratically turned a corner. ​

"Not my fault you’re too slow!” Yunho called, as he sped down the street, the wind plastering his bangs to his forehead. He could feel himself grinning broadly as he stuck his tongue out at the younger boy and put on an extra burst of speed. ​

"Yunho, wait!” Junsu insisted. ​

“Catch me if you can!” Yunho shot back.

​“Yunho!” Yunho’s grin grew a little wider. “Yunho!” He didn’t look back. “Yunho!” ​

Junsu sounded strangely frantic and Yunho glanced over his shoulders, expecting to see Junsu doubled over and gasping for breath. ​

Instead, he saw the younger boy sprawled on the asphalt, staring behind him at a growing wall of flames. He turned in terror, desperately stretching a hand out towards Yunho. ​

“Junsu!” Yunho screamed. The flames were at the kid’s ankles as the road between them seemed to stretch farther and farther out until it seemed as if Yunho was running in place and Junsu was getting farther away.

​“Yunho, help!” Junsu hollered. The fire was at his knees now; he couldn’t run, he couldn’t move at all- he was completely frozen in place. Out of sheer panic, Yunho took a running leap that miraculously carried him over to the younger boy. ​

But the impact of his landing caused the street the crack, splitting the road between him and Junsu. The fire roared up in delight and with a terrible scream, Junsu was into the flames, terror plain on his face as he reached out for Yunho. Bit by bit, he dissolved into nothing. His wide, frightened eyes were the last to go. ​

"No!” Yunho hollered. ​

There was a light laugh, and he squinted through smoke and ash to see Jaejoong delicately stepping out of the flames with a smile on his face.

​“You,” Yunho growled. “I should have known this was all because of you!” ​

“Why are you yelling at me, Yunho?” Jaejoong asked, sounding almost sweet. “We’re not so different, you and I.”

​Before Yunho could even breathe, Jaejoong was in front of him, cupping his face with hands that were cold as ice despite the fire all around them. Jaejoong smiled slowly and then his eyes changed…and his lips…and his jawline…

​Yunho found himself staring into his own smirking reflection. ​

And then the flames opened their jaws and swallowed him- ​

Yunho screamed as he bolted out of bed, tearing at his clothes. It took him a moment to realize he wasn’t on fire despite his heated skin and the sweat drenching his body. ​

"Hyung!” Changmin burst through the door. Had Changmin always been that tall? And why did his voice suddenly sound so deep? “Hyung, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” ​

“I…” Yunho felt a burning sensation in his throat and twisted his head aside just in time to see his own vomit splatter the walls. ​

Changmin, having been partially caught in the spray, looked slightly dismayed, before attempting a smile. “That’s okay, hyung. I’ll clean it up.” ​

"You’ll…” Yunho felt too dizzy to complete his thought as he sank back against his pillow. The images swimming before his eyes were making him nauseous again and he closed them. He felt his foster brother’s cool palm on his cheek as a soft cloth wiped his mouth gently.

​“Shh,” Changmin whispered. “Just sleep, okay, hyung?” He pressed his lips to Yunho’s forehead before pulling away. ​

The last thing Yunho remembered before darkness seized his mind again was watching Changmin take off his pajamas and wondering if his foster brother’s arms had always been that muscular.