Screw 5 comments, i'll just post the whole thing now XD

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Himchan washed his face on the faucet and dried it with a towel. He tried to breathe evenly and closed his eyes. When his breath had evened out he opened his eyes and stared at his cellphone on the side of the faucet, and the faucet itself below him. He watched as the water swirled to the hole and suddenly was gone from his sight. A bitter smile found its way to his face, how it reminded him of all of his hard work, all he ever had, drained like nothing. The concert was supposed to be a blast, even if it’s a joined concert with so many other idols and soloist. He knew that everything will end well because he worked hard for it, and all of his band members too.

But what happened? Not even one sound can be heard aside from their group’s voice. Not even one lightstick was on. It was silent.

Dark.

 Nothing.

None.

Maybe for some people it’s a joke, but not for him. Maybe for s it’s only something that can be fixed, but nor for him. Nobody understand what it meant. What he felt. Nobody.

No one.

Nothing.

None.

He had been a bit biased at the term of ‘idol’ at the first, how it amused him that a group of some people, being made up and act like a bunch of plastic dolls in a toy store, hoping that someone will see them and love them. But then he re-think about it again when an offer to join his current group came, and he began to see a new light of his current job. How he thought that s are his family, his other selves, but no. They don’t understand. They can’t understand. They don’t want to understand him.

He worked so hard to be in his place now. More training possible from other people. More sweat. More break-downs. More hardships. He can bear it, because every other person can. His bandmates can. He’s always there for them if they need help, he did. Always do. Yet no one understood what he was feeling right now. Yongguk asked is everything okay? Was he okay?

The heck with that.

How in the ing sane world can he be okay?

He sat on the closed lid of the toilet seat and chewed his lower lip, trying to block all of his flooding incoherent thoughts and pushed it back to his deepest, darkest memory loom to stay sane. While he tried to do so a cold chuckle made its way to his ears and he sat straight in surprise. He scanned the bathroom with wary eyes and he found the source of the sound immediately.

“Long time no see, old friend,” a figure smirked at him in such nonchalant way, as if mocking him at his problems. Himchan stared at the figure with his eyes wide and walked until he’s face to face with it.

“I… I thought you’d…”

“Be gone? Left? Died?” the chuckle turned into a hearty laugh and the figure shook its head, “I never left, just so you know. It’s just that I’m not needed before… well… this.”

Now it’s Himchan’s turn to shake his head, “You don’t know how hard it is before this.”

“I know, but you have them,” the figure tilted its head to the bathroom door, “they succeeded before this. You let them.”

“I…” Himchan sighed and darted his eyes to the door, “they can’t now. They don’t understand.”

“Of course they don’t, how can they?” the figure followed his gaze and laughed, “it’s all inside your mind. And only I can know that.”

“You always do, don’t you?” he managed a small smile and looked back to the figure in front of him.

“Of course… so how are you? What happened?” it tilted its head slightly and smiled back at him.

“Life. Life happened.”

“Ah yes, of course it happened… and you’ve been out to the reality too, it happened.”

“I have to, or else I’m doomed,” he laughed lightly for the first time in… he didn’t remember. A while. And he almost forgot how laughter felt that good until now.

“You already are since you’re born, you ,” it rolled his eyes at him and Himchan laughed even louder.

“Not my fault I was born like this.”

“Not my fault to I can only show up like this,” it shrugged. Himchan seized his laughter and looked at the figure seriously. Contemplating at what he should say or ask.

“Why did you come?” he sounded so pathetic, like hoping for an answer but at the same time he didn’t want to.

“You know why already, dear Himchannie,” it closed it eyes and slowly opened it. Himchan found its eyes with his and felt the sob threatening to come out.

“Through my rise, my fall… you’ve been my only friend. The only one…” he managed to say the words without making his voice cracked, albeit it’s hoarse.

“I am.”

“With everything happened lately I don’t even know whether I’m coming or going or leaving or walking… I thought I’m on my way but life lined up and block me and…”

“I know.”

He felt the tears coming up again.

“But I…” he shook his head again, “nobody sees it.”

“Yes they look at you, but I can look through you, my friend,” it gave him a small smile, a reassuring one, “I see the blood coming from your eyes… I see your love for them albeit in disguise…”

He fought back the sob even more, he choke on his reply… he didn’t even know how to. So he stayed quiet and tried to swallow his sobs and listen to what it has to say to him. He had to.

“I can see the pain hidden in your eyes, I can see you’re not satisfied… you’re angry. You’re raged. You felt wronged. Devastated.”

He can only nod in defeat and remorse as finally the tears broke down slowly, rushing through his cheeks.

“I see the truth in your lies, and I can see the scars will remain in you. And when you thought there’s nobody by your side… you have to know that you’re not alone, my friend. You never are.”

Himchan looked up and took a deep breath.

“You told me they will understand me, they can understand me, but why…”

Another tear fell down from his eyes. He put his hand on the cold surface and the figure mimicked his action and touched his hand. They stare at each other’s eyes until he broke the silence.

“Why are we talking to each other again?”

The figure only maintained its small smile and leaned its head to meet his. The cold was sipping through both of his hand and forehead but he didn’t care. His tears splashed down on the faucet and he didn’t even try to wipe the ever flooding tears from his eyes.

“You already know the answer, my friend. You always do… Now tell me, what do you see?”

He stared at the mirror in front of him, where his hand stayed on its place on its surface and retracted his forehead back to get a better view of the figure.

“I see… I see myself. I’m… looking at you. Through the mirror… I’m looking at you in the mirror”

His reflection smiled at him and nodded its head slowly.

“So I’ll always be here whenever you need me. You’ll never be alone because you got me, my friend. I can see through you, I understand you. I’m you, and you’re me... I’m here.”

Another myriad of tears burned his eyes but he nodded. He understood.

“Let them get into you, because even if you said they don’t understand, they’re trying to. And you know it. So let them and let life happened once again. You know you have me when it disappoints you again.”

It chuckled and Himchan found himself laughing along. He saw the message, and no message could’ve been any clearer. He’ll start it with the man in the mirror, the one in front of him now.

“Thank you, my friend.” He smiled a sincere smile, “even though I don’t know whether I’m crazy because your not real and I’m real or…”

“Wait up,” the figure raised his eyebrow, the exact mirror of his, “who said I’m not real? You’re talking from the other side of the mirror, doesn’t mean my side of mirror’s not real. Maybe you’re the one who’s just a fragment of my imagination and I’m in my own reality?”

Himchan laughed and smiled, “whatever you say then… we’re both real in our own way.”

“So… until we meet again… take care old friend.”

Himchan saw his reflection grinned at him and closed his eyes. He closed his eyes as well and after a deep breath, he opened his eyes to see himself staring back at him. His old friend’s gone once again… and he always managed to repair him. The broken him. He smiled at the mirror and the mirror smiled back, as if saying everything’s gonna be okay. Well his old friend can, why can’t he? They’re basically the same person… right?

A knock on the door was heard and Himchan knew he’s ready to go out now. To let them in.

Again.

Finally.

So he mustered up his courage, wiped his tears, took his cellphone, and speak in a voice with strength that he didn’t even knew he had.

“Come in.”