Final

“Is anyone in there?”

I turned my head to the direction the sound was coming from.

The voice was deep. Calm.

I didn’t know who it was.

“Hello?” The voice asked again.

“Who are you?” I replied.

I heard the door open and footsteps coming my way. I stiffened.

“I asked, who are you?” I shuffled myself to the left side of my bed.

The voice said, “Um, do you know someone named Im Misook?”

That was my aunt. “Yes, why?” I asked in the calmest voice I could manage.

“Well, she asked me to deliver this food to room 312 since she was busy. Are you Kim Seoyeon?”

“Yes, I am. Can you leave the tray on the table? Thank you.”

“Um, yeah. You’re welcome.” And with that, I heard the door open once again and listened to the sound of his footsteps getting softer and softer in the hospital’s hallway.

I reached out to my left to the table and reached for something on the tray. Immediately, my fingers started to burn as I touched the surface of something hard. I yelped in pain as I held my finger to ease the pain. Auntie must have gotten me soup. I think she forgot to cool it down. I carefully reached to the right side of the table to reach for my spoon. Once I grabbed a piece of metal, I felt the top. It was a spoon. I held the spoon tightly and carefully let the spoon down on the tray until I heard a slight clink. Bingo. I reached down to grab the metal that my spoon touched until I heard the door open once again. I accidentally dropped my spoon onto the floor.

“Seoyeon-ah! I’m so sorry about the food, I had to run some errands. Did you burn yourself again?” It was Auntie.

“I wasn’t sure of when you were coming so I decided to start eating. I... had a little accident,” I replied as I held onto the finger that got burned.

“Aigoo, what would you do without me... Here let me do it,” I heard the shuffling of her clothes and the sounds of metal touching other metal. “Ahh, open,”

I opened my mouth as she fed me. Mmm, Auntie’s homemade kimchi soup. All of a sudden, I started to remember what happened earlier. The man’s voice was still playing in my mind. I haven’t heard his voice before.

“Auntie, who was the man who gave me my food?” I asked politely.

“Ah, him? He’s just the son of an old friend of mine... I met him just today. A nice young man he is... Very handsome too,” Auntie stopped talking for a couple of seconds before she started to feed me again.

After she fed me, she packed up her things and tucked me into bed.

“Good night, Seoyeon.”

“Good night, Auntie.” And with that, I heard the click of a light-switch and the door closing.

I closed my eyes and looked at the emptiness of color I saw every single day.

--------------------------

The next day, I woke up and sat in my bed.

It’s cold. I need another blanket.

I carefully put my feet down on the floor. Using my hands, I pushed myself up to stand.

Good. Now I just need to get the blankets out of the cabinet.

I walked carefully, reaching my hands out to locate objects that could help me get the the cabinet. I touched a hard object that was rounded on the top.

It’s the chair. Just a few more steps...

And right as I was about to take a step, my right foot got caught on something and I fell on the ground. I tried to reach out to grab something with my free hand, but I couldn’t find anything to grab on. Just then, the door opened and I heard that deep voice once again.

“Are you okay?”

I was just about to reply when a pair of hands picked me up.

“Thank you, I’m fine,” I replied as I turned around and tried to re-locate where my bed was. I kept walking forward until I reached out my hand to find something. I felt the softness of my blanket. I immediately climbed on top of my bed and sat there.

I tried to look normal.

I didn’t want to show anyone that I’m weak.

I didn’t want to show anyone that I’m blind...

Realizing that he was still here, I asked him,

“Are you here for my breakfast?”

“Oh yeah. Your aunt said that she had something to to do with my mother so she sent me here again...” He replied.

“Well thank you once again. I appreciate it. Can you leave it on that table again?”

“Yeah, sure,” I then heard something being placed on the table on my right.

I felt cold again.

I didn’t want to ask him because that would be a little rude, but I couldn’t help it. I needed that blanket.

“Um, sorry if this is too much to ask, but can you get me the blanket in the cabinet over there?”

“No problem,” He replied and I heard him walk over to the cabinets. “Um, is it this cabinet?”

I didn’t know which cabinet he was talking about.

I wished I could see.

“Uh, yeah, I think so,” I replied with a soft voice.

The cabinet opened.

“Nothing is in here,”

“Oh! My mistake. It must be in the other one,”

The cabinet opened once again and I heard footsteps coming my way. I felt something being placed on my lap, and I unfolded it and placed it over my legs.

“Thank you,” I said to him as I made myself comfortable under the blanket.

“You’re welcome again,” He paused for a second. “Do you... remember me?”

Of course I remember him! He gave me my dinner yesterday.

I nodded as a reply.

“You do remember!” I could tell he was smiling through his voice.

“Well, I think I should introduce myself. I’m Byun Baekhyun, and I’m 24 years old. What about you?”

I was a little hesitant at first. I barely met him! Regardless, I replied anyways.

“You know my name, it’s Kim Seoyeon. I’m 23 years old,”

“I’m one year older than you,” He replied. “Listen, so I know I might sound weird right now, but I really want to be friends with you. So I was thinking-”

And right then, I heard the door open.

“She is available tomorrow,” Auntie interrupted us. I heard her walking over to my bed.

“Ahh, I see...” Baekhyun replied quietly.

“You can pick her up at noon, but make sure to bring her back by 10!” She replied with a playful tone.

What is going on?!

“Okay, I will. Don’t worry,” I heard him standing up. “I’ll see you tomorrow then, Seoyeon-ssi,” And with that he opened the door and closed it.

I was speechless. I wasn’t able to say anything.

I would have loved to go and eat lunch with him...

If only I was any normal girl.

Auntie must have realized I was panicking because then she soon replied, “Don’t worry, he’s a nice guy. I know it when I see it-”

I barely heard her words as I scurried myself to the door, bumping into objects in the process.

I opened the door and yelled,

“Baekhyun-ssi?”

I could hear him reply in the distance, “Yes? Is there anything wrong?”

I heard him running towards me. When I felt his presence in front of me, I replied,

“I can’t go out with you tomorrow,”

“What? Why not? Your Aunt just said-”

“I just can’t,” If only he knew I was blind...

“Why won’t you go out with me? Are you afraid I’ll do something to you? I really want to be friends with you and-” Baekhyun talked on and on, making me more frustrated.

Just as I was about to say something, he interrupted me saying, “Why can’t you just look at me in the eye and tell me? Looking at the floor doesn’t make it sound convincing,”

I was angry. Even though I couldn’t tell where his face was, I glared at him. Not caring if he understood me or not, I pointed to my eyes and made an ‘x’ with my arms. I turned around and closed the door on him.

“Seoyeon-ah...” Ignoring Auntie, I walked over to my bed, bumping into things in the process again, and hid myself under the blankets as I let the tears inside of me fall out.

Why can’t you just understand, I’m not normal...

------------------------------

“Seoyeon,” Auntie said to me. I figured it was almost noon since I could hear the faint noise of her head turning around every now and then. There was no sign of Baekhyun.

“Auntie, he’s not coming. It’s better for us this way,”

“Sweetie, you know you can’t live this way for the rest of your life-”

“Don’t worry about me, Auntie. I’ll be fine,”

I plugged in my earphones into my ear as a sign that I didn’t want to talk anymore. I located the middle button with my thumb and pressed play.

Just then, I heard the door open.

“I have your lunch,”

My head turned to the side and I knew it was Baekhyun.

“Look, I’m not the most observant person you will ever meet... but I should have known before...” I felt something being placed on my bed. I reached out and I felt something soft. It smelled... like flowers. “I’m really sorry.”

“This is not a joke. Please.”

I shuffled myself back into my blankets and pressed the volume button on my mp3 player to make it louder. And with that, I made it clear that I wasn’t going to change my mind.

------------------------------

Once I woke up from a nap, I pressed a button on my alarm clock. In a digital voice, it said,

“Seven thrity-one, PM”

“He’s still outside, you know,” Auntie’s voice startled me as I pushed myself up to sit.

He has been here for seven hours. I let out a sigh as I tried to walk to the door. I opened it and said,

“Are you there?”

I heard something shuffle to my left. I could sense him standing up.

I asked, “Why are you doing this? Is this funny to you?”

“N-no! Don’t misunderstand me! I’m really serious about being friends with you,”

“Yeah, sure. Being friends with someone that’s been stalking you for the past few days and claiming that they just want to ‘befriend you’ is completely normal,”

“Okay, okay. You got me... I just wanted to ask you out officially,”

I sighed. “You don’t know me, Baekhyun. I’m blind. Why would you want to ask me out?”

“Well, I may not know you now, but every friendship starts out that way, doesn’t it? I don’t care it you’re blind or not. I just want to get to know you,”

I bit my lip as I massaged the bridge of my nose.

He just doesn’t take ‘no’ as an answer, does he?

“At least let me be your friend. If nothing changes or develops, we can at least be friends, right?”

It passed a couple of seconds before I replied,

“Just friends. Nothing less, nothing more,”

“So, apology accepted then?” I could hear the happiness in his voice.

I smiled slightly and nodded. I turned around to open the door. Right before I stepped in, I said,

“Good night, Baekhyun chingu.”

“Good night, Seoyeon chingu.”

----------------------------------

“Yah, Seoyeon-ah, I feel like I’m being replaced,” Auntie said to me as she was cleaning up my room. “With Baekhyun coming almost every day to deliver your food and feed you, I don’t think you need me anymore,”

“Of course not, Auntie,” I smiled. “I would be a wreck without you,”

She didn’t say anything for a couple of seconds.

“It’s been four months already, I’m sure you have felt his sincerity by now,” Auntie continued, “He’s been taking care of you and-”

“Auntie. Please.”

Why couldn’t they understand?

Being friends and being in a relationship are completely different.

And Baekhyun deserved someone better than me.

-------------------------

“Seoyeon, it’s finally spring! I can just smell it in the air,”

I smiled at her.

The door opened.

“Is she busy today, Auntie?”

I could imagine her smiling right now.

“She’s all yours.”

-------------------------

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

--------------------------

Baekhyun helped me get out of his car and sat me on a chair. I was pretty sure we were at a park because I could smell the grass and faint chirping in the distance. I heard him opening his trunk and getting something. Next thing I knew, he was sitting across from me. I reached out until I hit something. There was a table.

He broke the silence. “It’s my 25th birthday,”

“Oh.” Before he could say anything, I immediately said,

“You could have told me before, I would have gotten you something-”

He chuckled. “It’s fine, I don’t need anything. Being like this is enough,”

“...I would have at least bought you a cake,”

“I told you, it’s fine. I have the cake. It’s in front of you,”

“Oh,” That was all I could say.

I heard the striking of a match and waited until he finished lighting the candles.

“Should we start now?”

I smiled. “Yeah,”

We sang the song together and clapped along.

When we finished, he stopped to make a wish and blew out the candles.

I clapped with a smile on my face. I bet he was smiling, too.

It hurt.

It hurt to not be able to see him blow out the candles, not be able to look at him in the eyes and tell him ‘happy birthday’, and to not be able to see his face.

I’ve never wanted to see so badly.

I told let out a small ‘happy birthday’ as I was trying to keep myself from spilling out the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes.

Just to know that you are so close within reach to the person you love, yet know that it is impossible to go any further...

...it’s the worst kind of pain.

I heard him putting down the cake on the table and picking up the knife to cut it.

Even if I can’t be Baekhyun’s girlfriend, I will still be his friend. And being friends is better than nothing, right?

“Congratulations on turning 25,”

“Thanks,” After a couple of seconds, he said, “Don’t you want to know what I wished for?”

“Isn’t it supposed to be a secret?”

“Well, yes. But first, I have something to give to you.” He seemed to get something out of his pocket. “I wrote you a letter. I know you can’t read, so I’ll read it to you,”

“Dear Seoyeon,

You might be thinking right now,

“Why is he reading me a letter?”

And to be truthful, I don’t really know. But what I really wanted to tell you right now, on my 25th birthday, is that it has taken me a lifetime amount of courage to tell you that it’s you; it’s always been you.

I still remember when I first saw you in that hospital room. I came there to deliver you your dinner because your aunt had something to do. When I saw you, I wanted to see you again.

The second time your aunt called me to deliver your food, I was excited to visit you again. When I saw you fall down, I couldn’t help but to come in and help you up.

When you were angry at me for asking you out and told me that you were blind, I didn’t care. I wouldn’t care if you had one eye and four toes, I liked you because you were you.

Every time I met you and had the courage to tell you that I truly liked you, I scared myself off my telling myself that you won’t feel the same and you will never like me that way. I told myself that if I just shut up, we would still be the best of friends.

The moment you told me you were blind, I knew what I was in for.

And so I’m here, reading this letter to you, right here and right now.

And when I’m done reading it, I’m going to kiss you.

And I’m never letting you go.

Yours, always,

Byun Baekhyun”

At that moment, I didn’t know what to say.

He then lifted up my chin gently using his fingers.

I could feel his breath on my face.

Then I felt his lips on mine.

And it was the best feeling ever.

“So, do you have anything to say?”

It took me awhile to process what just happened.

“Why me?”

A couple seconds passed.

“Why not?”

“I’m not like any other girl. You have so many other choices-”

“But I choose you, Kim Seoyeon,”

“There’s a lot of things I can’t do,”

“Like what?”

“Like... see you smile,”

“You don’t need to see me smile. As long as you smile, I smile,”

“I...” I bit my lip as I let out the tears in my eyes that I held in for so long. “I won’t be able to look at you in the eye and say ‘I love you’,”

“You don’t need to look at me to say ‘I love you’,”

“One day, you’re going to regret it,”

“No, I won’t,”

“How would you know? People change. You can’t tell the future,”

“You don’t need to say ‘I love you’ to express that you love them. You need to feel it inside of you,”

I was hesitant to reply.

“Baekhyun, I’m scared. I’ve never let anyone into my heart before,”

“Then let me be the first,”

“You are the first. That’s why I’m scared,”

I heard him walk towards me.

“You are perfect, just the way you are.Just because you can’t see doesn’t change the way I feel about you. Let me be your only light, so I can guide you until whenever. Don’t be scared,”

“...I’m not scared.”

“Good.”

And so we sat there, on the grass, with my hand in his.

And that was the happiest moment of my life.

He lifted my face once again, and pressed his lips gently into mine.

“That’s another way of saying, I love you.”