Park Chanyeol's  journal entry #4:

You hate me, don't you? You were angry with me that I missed you father's funeral because of the concert. I'm sorry, I'm trully sorry about not being there for you. I wish that I didn't have to go to the concert so that I could be with you.

When I snuck out to visit you last night, you were so mad at me. I really thought that you weren't going to let me into your room, and leave me on the fire escape, in the pouring rain. But you know that I would have stood out there for as long as I needed to until you stopped crying. You were trying to torture me. You wanted me to watch you cry until I couldn't take it anymore..

And when you finally opened your window, you wouldn't let me hug or kiss you, or wipe your tears away. We just sat across from one another, legs crossed, knees touching. You stared at me, only to wipe your tears away once in a while. You even said that I wasn't allowed to talk, and that you'd just stare at me until I felt sorry for what I had done. Or what I had failed to do.

So I complied, and stared back at you, wanting to wipe your tears away and hug you, but you wanted none of that. 

When you finally let me touch you, I was so afraid that if I did touch you, you'd shy away. So instead, I just gave you a tiny peck to the cheek, and then you kicked me out.

That walk home really made me think about a lot of things. As the rain hit my face, I wondered if the angels were somehow crying with you. I wondered if they were mouring for your dad, or if they were mourning for our love that was slowly breaking apart.

I asked myself weather our love was something I'd be able to keep working on. I know it's sad to think about it, but I honestly have thought about what will become of us in a few months after EXO's schedule really picks up like our Super Junior Seniors and SNSD seniors as well.

What would we do once I was travelling all over the place and never came home to visit you? How could we possibly keep this love working? I already have to travel to L.A. for the SM Town concert coming up. I'll be sure to pick up something nice when I go. Hopefully you won't still be mad?