Jaejoong often heard that he’s too good-looking to work as a chef-assistant in a small restaurant downtown. He had also often heard that he’s just too pretty to hold a knife. Some of the girls that came and talk to him at work told him that he’s too good to be true; he should be a fictional character. Yunho told him that he’s too delicate to take care of two hard-headed brothers while Changmin had said that he was just simply too good for them, that they didn’t deserve his care.

               The truth was, he never felt happy with all of those said ‘compliments’.  He was well aware of his appearance, his quite demeanor and sentimental personality, but it wasn’t like he chose to be like that. He was happy with his job at the restaurant, for he just enjoys cooking and the thought that taking care of his brothers was a burden never even once crossed his mind. He even often feels like he should’ve been able to do more than what he does right now. He wanted to work more shift only for Yunho to be able to enjoy more leisure time at home. He wanted to work fewer shifts so that he would be able to cook Changmin all of his favorite food. He would do just anything to just be able to spend one fine day with his brothers, because one of these days, it feels like they are just getting further away from each other.

                Yunho was too busy working out a way for them to pay all of their bills. Changmin was finding less and less comfort at home that often he found fighting the only way for him to release his frustrations. Jaejoong knew that Changmin never meant to burden Yunho or him with everything he does. The kid is smart, he got good grades; but he doesn’t seem to know for whom he studied so well for, for the only brother he wants to impress was too busy to even just sit down and chat with him. And every time Yunho came home, he seems to find every single mistake Changmin did and scolded him because of it. He tried too hard to be the ‘father’ figure Changmin had lost years ago but by doing so, he only made his role as Changmin’s older brother dissipate with time. That’s the reason why they always arguing every single time, with Jaejoong as the middle man.

               Before their parents’ death, Yunho was the kind of first-born every parent would ever want. He was a model student, a high school judo champion, a class president, in short; he did everything his parents had ever wanted him to be. He was a perfect copy of Changmin right now, if only their parents were still alive and minus all of the fighting. He was very responsible of his every action and really a fun brother to be around. He took them out and treats them on weekends, he spare some of his times just to pick up Jaejoong at his swimming class and dropped Changmin off at his evening track practice. While Yunho was fun and outgoing, Jaejoong was the quiet and calm one. Besides his swimming lesson, that he did only for the sake of a childish fear that Changmin would be taller than him –which he already is- the thing he liked to do was to read and cook. And Changmin has always been there to taste ever since he first tried to cooked a burnt off fried egg at the tender age of seven. His comments were honest and straight it often came to the point when Jaejoong felt that Changmin was a little bit too disrespectful towards him, but he could never get angry, not at Changmin. He’s the only person in the entire world Jaejoong could never be angry at. Just as Yunho had said; he had always been too easy on Changmin.

               That’s why when four years ago, when he heard the doctors said that Changmin was the one in the operating room, fighting for his life, Jaejoong felt as if a bucket of ice water was dumped inside his stomach, yet he couldn’t do anything but to held a sobbing Yunho and to promise himself that if Changmin survived, if his only little brother survived, he’d do anything in his power to make sure nothing in this world could even as much as prick his fingertips.

                That’s also why he always nagged at Changmin every time he came home with new bruises and scratches or when he would not come home on time and called him hours later to pick him up someplace away, too beaten up to even stand up. He couldn’t get mad and yelled at him for being stupid like Yunho did, so all he did was nag; he nagged like an old lady. He lectured and talked, but never raised his voice, unless he’s extremely worried. Maybe that’s also why Changmin always found it comfortable to talk to him about his problems and as doing so, keep making him promise to keep his secrets every time.

                  In the split second when he heard the gun shot, he felt his heart skipped a beat. And as he turned around in shock, it quickly turned into dread as he saw the one boy he had promised himself to protect, the one boy whose story he had listened to so often and whose wounds he attend to so much, fell to the concrete underneath him in what felt like a dramatic slow motion. He took a moment to register what happened, before every single cell in his body seemed to scream at the same time.

                “NO! Changmin!!”

                 Not even minding whether the man who shot his brother was dead or not, he quickly ran to the younger’s aid. The teenager’s face all scrunched up in pain as his eyes wide in shock. He held on hand to his bleeding stomach as if it could ease the pain that started to became unbearable. Jaejoong carefully sat beside Changmin and lift his head to his lap, Yunho on the other side; unable to speak a word, though his terrified face seems to say more than enough.

                  “Hyung…” Changmin managed to get the word out of his mouth before he started coughing up his own blood. It was a plead,’ please, take the pain away, make it stop’. His usually strong eyes had changed into a helpless and scared look. Jaejoong hold his hands to Changmin’s chest in a failed attempt to stop the bleeding.

                  “I’m here, Changmin. Hey, you’re going to be okay, alright? Just hang in there,” His own voice tremble as he tried to calm the boy, or maybe himself, he couldn’t even tell anymore. He just wanted the wound to magically heal and for Changmin to be okay. He wanted to wake up only to find out that this all was just a horrible nightmare from watching too much movies. He shot a pleading look to Yunho, unsure of what to do, only to found him freeze in motion, as clueless as himself of what to do.

                  “Hyung!” He said, or screamed, it doesn’t make a difference now. “Get some help, for god’s sake!”

                   That seemed to pull him out of his trance as he quickly nods and turned to the two men who had turned their night into a nightmare.

                   “I’ll call for help,” Kyuhyun said, his previously stoic expression was now full of worry and he ran holding his phone, calling whoever it was that Yunho hoped could help.

                  “I’ll get some kit from the car. Wait here,” Eunhyuk said, his face was a mix between guilt and worry as he followed Kyuhyun away.

                “It hurts…” Changmin writhe in pain. His voice grew weaker by the seconds. Jaejoong couldn’t do anything but to hold a piece of his own shirt which he ripped off earlier on Changmin’s chest wound; the small piece of cloth now already looked as if it was dipped into a bucket of blood. Yunho found Changmin left hand and hold it tightly, afraid to let it go.

                “I know… I know…” Yunho said as he caresses the youngest hair, trying to remember when was the last time he did so. A huge chunk of guilt churned his stomach when couldn’t remember showing any sign of affection to his own brother for the last four years, and that all he remembered was their fights.  He had never been this afraid for a long time because he always deemed himself as the capable one, the one that always knew what to do. But right now, his own helplessness was scaring him.

                   “You’ll be just okay… Just please hold on…” Jaejoong said choking in tears. He was afraid and helpless, he wanted to do something but he didn’t know what. His brother was slipping away before his eyes and he couldn’t do anything.

                       “Okay…” Changmin’s voice was barely a whispered, his eye lid was only half-opened and his face grew paler.

                 “Yah, Changmin-ah! Keep talking okay? Tell me… talk to me… just say anything…” Yunho’s voice wavered as he tried to find away to keep Changmin awake, knowing that once he closed his eyes, there was a very little chance that he’d ever open it again.

                   “Talk to me, Changmin, like you always do…” Jaejoong’s voice was soothing, calming, but his own hand was trembling on Changmin’s chest. Caught up between the fear of losing and frustration, he couldn’t hold his tears anymore. He didn’t care about anything else; he just wanted his brother to be okay.

                   “I’m sorry… that y-you guys have to fight… because of m-me…” Changmin tried his hardest to speak, feeling his own consciousness slipping away. The blood in his mouth didn’t make it any easier.

                       “No, no, no, it was never your fault. You don’t have to feel sorry about that, you hear me?” Yunho said again.

                      “I’m sorry that I always f-fought…” Changmin stopped at another coughing fit, spraying blood to both of his brothers who didn’t seem to care at all. “I…I’ve let you d-down, haven’t I?”

                      “We’re just being jerks, Changmin,” Jaejoong tried to joke and showed a sad smile. “Brothers fought, you know. And for the record, you’ve never let us down,” He put his bloodied palm on Changmin’s cheek, offering some false comfort.

                      “R-really…?” For that short moment, as Changmin answered, he felt like he was seven years old again, and no matter what he did, how far he went, his brothers will always come to his aid. He felt safe in their embrace, something he hasn’t felt for quite a long time.

                       His breath grew heavier as speaks and Jaejoong and Yunho noticed this.

                    “Changmin? Changmin-ah, please…” Jaejoong tightened his grip on Changmin’s weakening body. He didn’t want to let go, not now. Nothing he had learned all his life had prepared him for this.

                   “Don’t do this, Changmin. Please… you can’t go now. We need you…” Yunho weep, his strong façade was gone. His hand still on Changmin’s head, trying to give some comfort.

                    Changmin face scrunched up in pain as he coughed again and then he went completely still as his body went limp in Jaejoong’s arm.

i'm kinda in the mood for updating a lot today, so here it goes. the next chapter would explain a LOT about everything that happened. stay tuned ;) enjoy ^^