Tittle: An angel will love you.

Pairing/ Characters: HaeSica, Aiden.

Length: oneshot.

Rating: G.

Genre: romance, angst, happy ending.

Disclaimer: I'm so tired of this. They don't belong to me.

Inspiration: Ming Xiao Xi's story: There will be an angel to love you instead of me. The tittle is too long so I shorten it.

Personal message: This is dedicated to my Eonnie, cherry_max, since she recommended this to me. Eonnie, I'm sorry for taking too long. Hope you enjoy it. Happy reading~~

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“How long will you love me?”

 

“Forever,”

 

“How long is forever?”

 

“No matter that you don't love me anymore. No matter that you forget me. No matter that I no longer exist, I will always love you,”

 

“Nonsense. How can you love me if you no longer exist?”

 

“Then I will find an angel to love you instead of me,”

 

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Tick tok... Tick tok... The sound of the clock struck could be heard. A whole hallway was empty, like any horror movie, the white, cold and empty hallway of hospital was displayed. Some mumble and TV sounded echoed inside rooms but it was not loud enough to make the girl sitting on the chair motionlessly became movable again.

 

 

Jessica had her back leaned against the white wall of hospital with her eyes boring a hole into the vacant space in front of her. She couldn't think anything at the moment. All in her head was empty. What time was it? She didn't know. Which day was today? She didn't even care. Why she couldn't move? To the hell with it.

 

 

Behind her, inside the room, lying on the bed was Jessica's most important person, her boyfriend, Aiden Lee, who was unfortunately wasn't breathing anymore. Jessica didn't know why she couldn't cry. People usually said that when there was someone was important to you passed away, you would cry but Jessica didn't know why she couldn't shed a tear.

 

Jessica closed her eyes and shifted her position a little for more comfortable before listening carefully sobs and whimpers came out from the room. Aiden's family must be heartbroken like her. But neither them nor her could blame anything. The accident happened too fast before anyone could do something to prevent it.

 

 

Aiden had been a good person, a well-mannered young man, a filial son and a caring boyfriend. It was not like you can walk out the street and meet such a perfect person like him. Exactly what people said, good thing never last long and it can be applied on people too.

 

 

Jessica inhaled deeply and touched her smooth cheeks. Nothing came out as in tears like what she expected. She was hurt, really hurt as agony ate her alive. But why can't she cry? She couldn't feel anything, her heart was empty, vacant and blank. There was only one thing that was in her head. Is Aiden really died? Just hours ago, he still smiled brightly at her and told her that he would come back again. And now, he was lying on the bed lifelessly. Tell her to believe that? Hell no, no one could.

 

 

Jessica still remembered that she was the first person to be informed that Aiden was dead. She had been standing in front of the bed and stared blankly at her used-to-live boyfriend like he was some stranger that she just met. Until his family came up and launched toward the bed, Jessica still stood like that, motionlessly, despite the loud cry shrieked out.

 

 

Jessica opened her eyes as a light tug pressured on her shoulders. She looked up and found that Aiden's mother smiled sadly at her, tears was stained on her face and her eyes were swollen up. She must have cried so much.

 

 

“Yes, Mrs Lee?” She whispered softly as loud as her voice could. The older woman sat down beside her before handing out a few of notebooks. Jessica looked questionably at her while she just smiled and gestured the younger girl to open it. The first page was slipped open and revealed neat handwriting that Jessica knew right away it was belonged to Aiden.

 

 

Thursday, 26^th January, 2009

Today, a Korean girl transferred to my class. It's really rare to have a Korean transfer to America. Her name is Jessica Jung and she is extremely beautiful. I think I have a crush on her.

 

 

Monday, 13^th February, 2009

She is not only beautiful but also smart and kind. She is one of the top ten in the school and yesterday, I saw her pick up a abandoned cat outside the street. Argh, I have promised not to have a girlfriend after my last ex. Oh my peaceful sweet God, why are you testing me now?!

 

 

Tuesday, 5^th March, 2010

Sigh, the 20^th guy has been rejected since she moved here. Damn, why she has to be so popular? What if I'm like those guys and be rejected too? Yah! Aiden Lee! Where is your confidence? You're popular too... but no, no one told that a popular guy will never be rejected. Should I confess?

 

 

Jessica smiled softly at the diary, she still can clearly recall that day, the day Aiden confessed to her. He looked nervous and never stopped fidgeting with his legs and somehow she found it cute. It was also the reason why she accepted Aiden. Because he was sincere about her.

 

 

More pages were slipped out as their memory displayed perfectly in every single pages. Their first date to their first kiss and their first fight as Jessica noticed whenever they fought, Aiden always was the person to apologize first. It had spoiled Jessica's stubbornness and made she wonder if there was anyone in this world could handle her mood swing as good as Aiden did.

 

 

Guilty started to build up inside her chest as she felt be suffocated. A bitter feeling crawled up on her nose as tears started to fall down with every single memory was brought back. Now, Jessica could cry. Her fragile body shook violently as she used her hands to support and wiped away the tears but some tears fell down and wet the page. After controlling well enough her emotion, Jessica continued to read. The last page was opened and immediately caught Jessica's attention.

 

 

Sunday, 30^th August, 2012

I was shocked, extremely shocked and mad at my parents today. I can't believe it. I have lived for 19 years now and not even know that I have a twin brother. I accidentally found a picture of him in the drawer or else I would never know about him. His name is Lee Donghae, currently lives in Seoul. He has a heart disease and has been gone to the hospital since he was 15. Poor my brother, I wish I could help him. If I could, I will cut my heart out and give it to him. At least, that's what I can do. Donghae-ah, maybe, you won't know me, your brother at all. But I love you, please remember that.

 

 

“Twin brother?” Jessica turned around and asked with hoarse voice as the older woman nodded. She pulled back her hands a little before showing out a picture from her pocket to Jessica. Jessica took it hesitatingly, spared a glance toward the elder then shifted her eyes to the picture. She couldn't believe in her eyes. Jessica had expected to see a look-a-like Aiden but she didn't think that they could be exactly the same. Their smiley eyes, bright smile and handsome face, it completely had no difference. From the haircut to their style of clothes, it almost looked the same. They were like one person. If they were living together, Jessica wouldn't be surprised about their appearance but this time, they had been separated since birth yet they resemble exactly each other. Twins brother instinct was scary.

 

 

Jessica sat still and listened to Mrs Lee said. They born both Aiden and Donghae in Seoul hospital but then problem came up, financial broke down and they couldn't afford them at the same time. Aiden was kept and Donghae was given to the orphanage with their reluctance. Five years after that, when their financial was stable, they came back to pick up Donghae but there was other family adopted him before they could so they had lost in touch with him.

 

 

It was 2 years before Aiden discovered he had twin brother, they knew Donghae's place and learned that Donghae had a heart disease. They had been looking in every hospital if they had a heart was suitable for Donghae but all their work was just failed. Only until now, a suitable heart had been delivered to Donghae, how ironic, it was Aiden's. They only could save their second son when they lost their first son.

 

 

Jessica sat there, listened to Mrs Lee. But the only thing was caught by her ears was Donghae had Aiden's heart. Sound a little bit crazy but Jessica promised that she would protect Aiden's heart, the purest thing on earth in her opinion.

 

 

The day after, Jessica had informed her family that she moved to Seoul University to study after finishing her exchange to there. She sat on the plane and looked out from the window. Her mind wandered about what she thought last night. She loved Aiden a lot and had been owed him a lot too. But Jessica wasn't the type that showed out her feelings easily. She was painfully reticent. Although Jessica didn't tell Aiden how much she loved him, the lad seemed to understand his own and he didn't complaint anything. After yesterday, Jessica had made a promise to herself that she definitely paid back the love and care she received by giving it back to Donghae. So here she saw, on the plane to Korea, in order to start her mission.

 

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“Lee Donghae?” The male teacher asked in a surprised tone as soon as Jessica nodded slowly, face still remained the cold expression. “Yes, Sir. Can you tell me which class is Lee Donghae in?”

 

 

“Donghae hasn't been decided to be in any class. He is special case. Donghae still recovers from his operation so we decide to wait until he comes back then we will arrange his class. Why did you ask?” The teacher raised an eyebrow, he placed his paper on one side, turned his face to Jessica, anticipated the girl's answer.

 

 

“Sir, can you put me and him in the same class?” Jessica asked with monotone, tried to miss the interested expression on the teacher's face. “About that, I can't promise you. Class arrangement is for school to decide. I don't have any position in it. Sorry,” He smiled apologetically at the girl. Jessica just nodded, bowed and left the room.

 

 

Walking on the hallway, Jessica pulled out from her bag a note. Luckily, she had asked the teacher the hospital's address. Now, she just needed to go there and met him.

 

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Standing in front of the room, Jessica felt like a stupid person for not thinking about a reason to meet him. She needed a reason to meet him. She couldn't just bang into the room all of sudden, as if Jessica was going to say something like 'Hey, my name is Jessica, I'm your twin brother's girlfriend and I'm going to take care of you instead of him.' . No, she was crazy if she said that.

 

 

Jessica was standing in front of the door, thinking for a while and didn't notice the door had opened. Donghae felt there was someone in front his door so he went and saw. He was surprised when a beautiful girl stood there. Beautiful but unfamiliar. Donghae didn't recall if he had met her.

 

 

“Hey,” Donghae called softly, loud enough to pull Jessica out of her thought. “Who are you and what are you doing here?” he pointed to Jessica. Too sudden to figure out a reason, Jessica just stood and stuttered. Donghae looked at the strange girl in front of him from head to toes and stopped at her hands. One hand, Jessica was holding a bouquet and in the other hand, she was holding Seoul University's book.

 

 

“Are you in the same class as mine?” Donghae asked, saved Jessica out from her stutterer. The girl nodded vigorously, there was no better reason in her mind. Donghae almost laughed out out at the cute scene of Jessica but instead, he held back.

 

 

“Come in,” Donghae stood aside, left the space for Jessica to come in. “I can't leave my guest stand at the door, right?” He smiled brightly but Jessica could only see Aiden's smile in front of her. She shook her head and stepped in, not forget to say thank in slow voice. She felt guilty for looking at Donghae in Aiden's shadow.

 

 

Jessica had thought that she would forever mistake Donghae as Aiden but just in the first day to meet him, she had realized that Donghae and Aiden, maybe, they could look the same in outside but inside, they are two completely different people. She didn't know if it was because of their grow up environment was different affected their characters or not, but they were two extreme. If Aiden was north pole then Donghae would be south pole.

 

 

Aiden was believed to be an outgoing type. He could make friend with any kind of people. He is social person and no one could ever hate him. Like many foreign, Aiden is romantic. He could say the love word easily. He could do for Jessica some romantic works which made she embarrassed to death. While Donghae was a typical Asian, he was shy but when you knew him better, he became a sweet guy. Donghae also had a great sense of humor, people just didn't know about it though. Donghae couldn't express his emotion openly but his feeling could be pointed out through his action.

 

 

Just in one day, Jessica could easily tell them apart, if Aiden still alive. The thought of her boyfriend was dead suddenly made Jessica's heart go down. Is she going to replace Aiden with Donghae?

 

 

Seeing, he was talking alone, Donghae waved his hand in front of Jessica. “Jessica-sshi, are you okay?” Jessica snapped back from her thought and looked at Donghae. “Ah... Uh... I'm fine...” She looked outside the window and saw the sun had disappeared for long. The sky had gone dark. The neon light on the street and in the house had , lightened up a whole night space. Donghae followed Jessica's eyes then turned back to her with sadness. He knew she had to leave.

 

 

Donghae had been having his heart disease for 4 years and his friends since that also gone and forgot him. He hardly had anyone visit and chat with him. Today, Jessica's visit had made his heart warm a bit. He liked to talk with her. He liked the way she looked at him in the eyes when they talked. He liked it when Jessica smiled and used the back of her hand to cover her smile due to her shyness. He liked Jessica's pretty smile. But, there was something sad in Jessica's eyes and Donghae couldn't figure it out.

 

 

“I have to leave now,” Jessica said hesitatingly then stood up. Donghae nodded. Before Jessica could reach the door knob, Donghae called. “Jessica-sshi,” She turned back and saw Donghae fidgeting in his bed. “Will... will you come back tomorrow?” He looked like a lost child.

 

 

Jessica smiled and nodded. “Of course, if you want to,”

 

 

“I... I'd love to!” He immediately replied. Donghae wanted to slap right into his face. “So... will you come back tomorrow, Jessica-sshi?”

 

 

“Call me Jessica. Yes, I will. See you tomorrow,” Jessica gave him a reassuring smiled before disappearing after the door. Leaving Donghae sitting on his bed, repeating her name. That night, Donghae slept with a smile on his face and that last word he mumble was 'Jessica'.

 

 

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“Annyeong~” Jessica poked her head into the room, brightly greeted him. “Did you miss me?” It had been a month since they met and their relationship had gone closer. They threw out formal words and talked to one another like some long-time friends.

 

 

Donghae sat on his bed and sneered but didn't deny her word. He indeed missed her. “Yah! Why are you taking so long?” He shouted a little bit loud. He had been looking at the door and waited for her arrival since this morning. Today was his birthday and he wanted to spend it with her as long as possible. But until afternoon, the girl just arrived.

 

 

“Yah! Don't shout. I went to buy this so I was late. It's not my fault that store is so far!” Jessica pouted and stepped into the room and two bag in her hands. “That store?” Donghae narrowed his eyebrows. Jessica just nodded and put on bag on the floor to have one hand pulled out the other bag's content.

 

 

“Here. Happy birthday~” She chirped and showed in front of Donghae a nicely wrapped present in front of Donghae. Donghae was stunned for a second. He didn't think she would know his birthday. Apparently, he hadn't told her his birthday. It was a big surprise to him. The present had its front transparent. And Donghae could see it was a white long-sleeved shirt.

 

 

Seeing Donghae just sit and staring at the gift, Jessica pouted and misunderstood that he didn't like her present. “I know it's common but can you just pretend that you like it?” Donghae snapped back from his surprise and immediately took the present. “No, I like it. Thanks,” He shook his head, denied her words.

 

 

“Can you try it?” Jessica smiled and said in anticipation. “Here?” Donghae asked in surprise. She nodded. “Now?” Nodded again. “Do you really mean it?” Nodded twice than before.

 

 

Seeing Jessica show no sign of taking back her word,Donghae sighed. “Fine,” He stand up and got the shirt out of the box. Donghae turned back and saw Jessica still look at him. “Could you go out of this room or at least turn around?” Donghae raised an eyebrow.

 

 

“Why? Just wear it, there is no one here to look at you,” Jessica asked.

 

 

“Do your parents teach you not to look a guy changing?” Donghae asked and Jessica shook her head. “Don't worry, I see my little brother running around the house a lot. Just change. I don't mind,”

 

 

“How old is your brother?”

 

 

“Five. Why?”

 

 

“Do I look like a five-year-old kid to you?! Get out! You don't mind but I mind!!”

 

 

“Ptt, you have a big belly so you scare me to see it, right?” Jessica narrowed her nose.

 

 

“Get out!” The empty box was thrown into her head.

 

 

“Alright, alright, I'm going. Call me when you're done,”

 

…

 

“Can I come in?” Jessica knocked the door then opened it after receiving Donghae's approval. He was standing beside the bed, looking his reflection in the mirror. The shirt was perfectly fit him. The sleeves held close his arms and biceps, showing clear his muscles. The shirt in the front with the white collar showed his stoned chest and well-formed six packs. Flash back suddenly swam in Jessica's mind.

 

 

“Hey, Aiden. Guess what I got for your birthday gift?” Jessica said excitedly and showed the box in front of Aiden's face.

 

“Uhm, it's so hard to guess,” Aiden made a face. “A white long-sleeved shirt?” He faked a innocent face.

 

“Woah, how did you know?” Jessica asked in surprise.

 

Aiden just shrugged and answered. “Well, you gave me the same gift in every birthday. It's always the white long-sleeved shirt. Why are you so into the white long-sleeved shirt?”

 

Jessica just shook her head, not answering.

 

 

“How did I look?” Donghae spread out his hands, asked for the girl's opinion. Jessica smiled and hugged him that made Donghae's heart skip a beat. A tear escaped from her eyes as Jessica breathed in his scent.

 

 

“Beautiful. Just like an angel,” She whispered.

 

 

Aware Jessica's weird reaction, Donghae just let her hug him. Wrapping his arms around thin shoulders, Donghae pulled Jessica closer. They stayed at that position for a while before Jessica pulled out of the embrace. Bending down to wipe away the tears, he whispered. “Are you alright?”

 

 

Jessica just nodded and smiled. “Sorry, I ruined your birthday,” Donghae shook his head. “It's alright,” Then Jessica suddenly remembered something and run to the remaining bag. “Come here, I cooked seaweed soup,” She waved to Donghae.

 

 

“You cook? Is it safe to eat?” He narrowed his face, joking in order to brightened the mood. “Yah! What that suppose to mean? It's safe! My mom has tried it! Are you underestimating me?!”

 

 

“Okay, okay, sorry, princess,” Donghae held up his hand, surrender and sat on the bed, tried the soup. “Oh, it's good.” He smiled. “Of course, it's good. You pabo,” Jessica pouted and hit his hand lightly.

 

 

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After Jessica left, Donghae sat on the bed and thought about her action this afternoon. The look on her face when she walked into the room haunted him. Her eyes contained many emotion: sad, love, longing, some kind of blank. They had been friends for a month now, but there was something in Jessica that Donghae couldn't understand. Her mysterious side still remained mysterious. Was he not worth trusting? Maybe, Jessica had known everything about him. But himself, even a single information about her, Donghae was clueless.

 

 

Looking down, Donghae saw the bag that Jessica always carried along herself was sitting beneath his bed. “Jessica forgot her bag,” Donghae mumbled and pulled it up. Unfortunately, its content fell out. Donghae narrowed his eyebrow and picked it. “Diary? Jessica brings diary in her bag?”

 

 

Opened the book, Donghae's eyes glided on the pages. He had stay awake all night to read it.

 

 

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“Annyeong~ Did you sleep well?” Jessica poked her head into the room like usual but the reaction she received from Donghae was the cold look. Jessica had never seen the cold side from Donghae, all she saw was his cheerful and sweet side. This new side of him Jessica didn't like at all. A chill ran down her spine as Jessica stuttered. “W-What's wrong?”

 

 

“Is this yours?” Donghae threw the diary on the table in front of him. Jessica stoned as she saw Aiden's diary. 'No,' She whispered inside.

 

 

“L-Listen to me,” Jessica stuttered as Donghae gave her the empty look. “Speak. I'm listening.”

 

 

“Aiden, as you know, he is your twin and he is my boyfriend,” Jessica was trembling. “He just passed away a few months ago.”

 

 

“He just passed away a few months ago. And you loved him too much so you went to his twin brother instead? Are you that depressed?” Donghae spoke up with a cold tone, sent more chill to Jessica's body.

 

 

“No, that's not the reason.” Jessica spoke in the slowest tone she could. “Then what's the reason?” Donghae's cold voice resounded again. “... You have his heart...” Almost whisper but it didn't pass the lad's ears. A pregnant silence wrapped around the room. Donghae could only stared at Jessica in disbelief. His heart? Because he had his heart?

 

 

“I can't believe this...” Donghae sneered with a sarcastic smile. This was too much, too much for his heart to recover. At the time that Donghae thought he finally found a girl he liked, it turned out that she only went after her ex-boyfriend's heart. “You will stop coming here if I return his heart, right?” Donghae turned back as his face went blank, no emotion.

 

 

“I won't,” Jessica whispered as Donghae narrowed his eyebrows. “Excuse me?”

 

 

“I won't!” Jessica spoke again. This time with more determination. “I'm not going to leave you!” Donghae looked in disbelief. “Yes! You're right. Your words are not wrong at all! I'm going after Aiden's heart to protect it!” Every word like a knife stabbed into Donghae's heart.

 

 

“Stop!” He shouted. “Stop it! Don’t talk anymore!” He used his hands to cover his ears.

 

 

“I have to listen to me!” Jessica shouted, tried to get close to the lad but Donghae had raised his hand to stop her. “I don't want to listen!”

 

Donghae's heart was hurt. The wave of emotion inside him right now didn't allow him to come up to her. Shock, disbelief, sadness... every emotion collided into one another, fighting to possess. Whichever won also created a deep wound in his heart.

 

 

“Can you not come here for a while?” Donghae whispered. “I need time to think,” Seeing the reluctance in his eyes, Jessica didn't say anything, stood up and left, not forgetting to turn back, glanced at him for the last time.

 

 

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A month had passed and Jessica kept her promise, she didn't go to the hospital, not even one second. They hadn't met but at night, both of them stayed awake to think of each other. Their relationship was messed up. What will happen after that, let the fate decide.

 

 

Jessica walked on the hallway, reading her lesson. Suddenly, she bumped into another person and all the book fell down. “Sorry,” They said at the same time and knelled down to pick it up. “Here you go,” The other one handed Jessica books with his brightest smile but stopped as soon as he saw her. Both of them froze.

 

 

“You're discharged from the hospital?” Jessica asked awkwardly as they stood up. “Ah, yes. I'm completely recovered. Thanks to Aiden's heart,” The last sentence was almost whisper.

 

 

“About that...” They spoke at the same time then looked at each other.

 

 

“You first,”

 

 

“No, after you,”

 

 

Donghae cleared his throat and spoke. “I have been thinking for a whole month and I come to conclusion.” He took a deep breath. “To tell you the truth, I liked you.” Jessica's face lifted up. “But it's only liked.” Donghae emphasized the past tense.

 

 

“First, I was shocked. I don't know how to say right now. Everything just come too fast. You then my twin brother. As much as I dislike him but thanks to him, I could live healthily again. So I think I owe him a 'thank you'.” He said before looking at Jessica. “But do I look like him? Can you see me as Donghae not as Aiden? I know you love him. It's hard to get over him. But please, see me as who I am, not as him, can you? I hate you. I don't like you.” He stopped as Jessica felt something suffocated her. “I... I love you,” He whispered as a tear fell down from his eyes. “But I know I don't love me,”

 

 

Donghae closed his eyes after his confession. He didn't wait for the girl to respond and turned his back to her, walking away. A shoe flew into his head and followed it was Jessica's shout. “Yah! Are you running away? You haven't heard my answer yet!”

 

 

“Y-Your answer?” Donghae rubbed his head, confused. “Yes, you didn't wait for me to say anything then run away. Don't presume everything by yourself! How can you say that?! What makes you so sure that I don't love you?! Listen to me first!!”

 

 

Jessica shouted in one breath as Donghae just stood dumbfounded at her sudden eruption. “So... you like me?” Donghae forced his words out of his throat.

 

 

“No. I don't like you.” Jessica said.

 

 

“I love you,” It was like Donghae's words was repeated. “I have loved you before I know it. I love you not as Aiden's twin brother, not as the person who has his heart. I love you like lovers love each other.” Seeing Donghae stay silence, Jessica continued. “Maybe, you don't believe me but I love you, I love you more than I should, more than I have to. Believe me, I love you,” Jessica used her hands to wipe away tears in her eyes. “I love you...”

 

 

Donghae smiled as tears fell down from his eyes. He reached out his arms and pulled the girl into a warm hug.

 

 

“How can you love me if you no longer exist?”

 

“I will find an angel to love you instead of me,”

 

 

Thank you for sending me your angel. I promise I won't let him down and love him forever.
 

 

 

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Annyeong~ Lucia is texting.

It's long since I wrote story so if it's bad, I'm sorry. I thought I would never finish this. Lonely by 2NE1 is really good to get back the inspiration.

I think I have cut and changed too much from the original. Mostly the angst part. My heart is weak and I can stand angst so I cut it. It's also about two years since I read Ming Xiao Xi's story and I'm too lazy to read it again so I just write what is left in my memory and my memory is bad. School is killing me these days. Everyday I got back from school and collapsed in my bed. I didn't have time to write. Sorry for neglecting it. Mianhae~

P.S: I haven't beta it yet so if there is mistake please excuse me.