Fourth period, it was Tuesday. The lesson just finished.

                jaejoong sat at his desk, his essay in front of him, watching as the rest of the class jostled their way out of the room, off to enjoy their free period of the week. Yoochun, last to leave the room, chuckled at him before going. Their last echoes of voices reverberated around the room before fading away into silence.

                Mr. Hwang, the history teacher, stood cleaning the board. “So,” he started “This essay of yours.”

Jaejoong squirmed awkwardly, sensing what was to come.

                “it was excellent, Kim. A first-class effort.”

                He blushed madly at the compliment. “Thank you, sir.” Tone with a mixture of pride and embarrassment.

                “Not at all. Praise where praise is due. The library has at least a dozen books on the Queen and you seem to have studied them all.”

“not all of them, Sir,” “is history your favourite subject?” jaejoong nodded “why?” “I just enjoy it, sir.” “why do you enjoy it?” “because it’s exciting” “what is that you find exciting? The wars?The feuds?”

Jaejoong was so tempted to say yes. But he liked Mr.Hwang and he wants to be honest. “No sir more than that its,” “Its?” “I don’t know how to put it in words sir.” “try me Kim.” “seems so alive.” “alive ?how so?” they conversed about things in the subject. “you read a lot don’t you? And it shows in your work.” Jaejoong mentioned about his book and how brilliant it is. “helps you to forget all about the delight of Monday morning?” “helps me forget about having been here at all!” “is that what you want Kim? To forget you’re here?” “no sir” “are you sure?” “yes sir.” “okay you may go now.” Jaejoong left

                Kirkston Abbey library was a huge, oak panelled room on the first floor of the main school building. It’s windows look out onto the rugby pitches and chapel. Jaejoong walked past the students you worked inside. On his way to the elephants graveyard, otherwise known as the religious study section: an alcove with a window seat, hidden far, left hand corner of the room.

                Jaejoong moved towards the section now. Only when he reached it did he see that it was already occupied.

                Jung Yunho was sitting on the window seat. His chin rested to his hand, elbow balanced on his knee. He was staring out of the window.

                The sight of him made Jaejoong feel like an intruder. He turned to slip away before his presence could be observed. But there was a voice urging him to stay and say something to Yunho.

Say something. Anything just to start a conversation. You wanted to talk to him. Now’s your chance!

                He wanted to leave but he knew he would despise himself if he did. “hello Yunho.” But yunho didn’t seem to hear him. “Hello Yunho.” This time Yunho heard him. Started slightly, then turned towards him. Eyes were hostile that Jaejoong was unnerved and blurted out the first thing that came into his head. “you are not reading are you?” “Does it look like it?” jaejoong released a quick laugh. “what do you want?” asked Yunho. “I…..” he struggled for something to say. “I want to thank you.” “Thank me?” “for last week. For helping with the translation.” “I can never do the sentences IL gives me. I was really grateful to you help.” “forget it” yunho quickly replied and turned back to the window. Jaejoong remained, thinking of something to say. “Look, what do you want?” Yunho asked with irritated voice.” “Why don’t you talk to anybody?” Yunho’s eyes widened. “what does it have to do to you?” “nothing” answered jaejoong back. “So why are you asking?” “because I want to know.” “why?” “because it does not make any sense. Not for someone like you.” “someone like me?” “you could be friends with anyone you want.” “friends?” yunho’s expression was one of incredulity. “friends,” he repeated with a tone of scornful and amusment. “why not” Jaejoong retorted back. “Go away, Kim.” “but why not?” “why do you hate everybody? Why do you hate us?” “Your all sheep.” Yunho easily replied. Yunho faced jaejoong with eyes scornful. “no I am not!” blood rise on jaejoong’s head. “yes you are.” “no I am not!” “of course you are. You and everyone else here. You do what the school tells you to do! You think  what the school tells you to think. You’re all sheep.” “that is not true!” of course it is. None of you can think for you selves. This place is full of zombies!”

                With the conversation jaejoong finally broke into tears. Ashamed of himself, appalled at his weakness, he turned and rushed from the alcove.

                He hurried across the library, past the fifth years. Who were too busy joking amongst themselves to pay any attention to him. He reached the door and  threw it open, colliding with two boys who were entering. “watch out!”

                Jaejoong found himself being glared by Bom and Mir who are fourth year but different class. “he’s bubbling.” Jaejoong tried to push them. “no I am not.” “Look he is bubbling!” “I am not!” he could sense the fifth years are now staring at him. Jaejoong tried to escape again but Bom blocked his way through. “you are!” Mir smirked at him. “what are you bubbling about little poof?”

                “leave him alone,” Yunho has left the alcove and was watching the scene. “piss off Jung.” “I said, leave him alone.” Bom took no notice, instead he punched Jonathon on the elbow; a savage blow, numbing his whole arm. “LEAVE HIM ALONE ELEPHANT BOY!” Bom stopped. One of the fifth years  whistled. “what did you just call me?” “you heard,” said yunho evenly. “ I asked you a question Jung!” “you are deaf are you?” asked Yunho back. “I mean you of all people.” “no I am not!” “Good, Retardation must be enough of a handicap.” Somebody sniggered. Bom felt anger and uncomfortable. “You shut your mouth Jung!” “or what?” “or he’ll shut it for you.” Answered by Mir for the first time. “and how are you going to shut me up?” “you’ll see!” “no you tell me.” Yunho took a step forward.  The smile total now and his eyes were flashing. “how are you going to do it? A black eye perhaps? A broken nose?” he started to laugh. “or a thick ear would be more appropriate?” more sniggering came. “wou shut your mouth or I’ll knock your teeth so far down your throat that you’ll bite you own arse!” “don’t get excited, Bom. It makes your ears flap, and if your mouth generates any more hot hair you might take off.” Sniggering turned into full laughter.

                “what’s all the noise?” Mr IL boomed. “this is the library not the junior common room. Right, fifth year back to the class room now.”  Mr.il saw Bom and Mir. “what are you doing, if you don’t have any go back to you rooms!”  Bom grateful to have an escape. “you’re dead!” he hissed at Yunho. “Oh sure.” “Just wait!”

                “you two as well,” Mr. IL pointed at Kim and Jung. Jaejoong made as if he was about to leave. “but we are working sir.” “really?” “askMr. Hwang if you don’t believe us. He is in his class now.” “I belive you. Just get on with it.”

Jaejoong’s heart was racing as if he ran 5 miles. “ you shouldn’t have said those thing to Bom,” “why not?” “because he’ll get you for it.” “no he won’t.” “he will you heard what he said.” “they’re just words. He picks on people who are afraid of him. He’d never dare to go after someone who might hit him.” “you still shouldn’t have said it,” Jaejoong paused and awkwardly added. “thanks.”

Yunho who had been watching the door faced Jaejoong. Jaejoong had the odd sensation that the eyes were actually seeing him as a person for the first time. His jumbled emotions crystallized into a single sensation---      Connection      ----- which was gone as quickly as it come, leaving him in a silence that no longer seemed uncomfortable. “I wish I could be like you. I’d give anything to be like you.” “would you?” Jaejoong nodded.  “ why?”  He blushed and lowered his eyes. “why?” “because of the things you do.” “ What things?” “everything. Everything you do, say. The way you spoke to Bom or Mr. IL. The way you do to everyone. I’d give anything to have the courage to the things you do.” “You think I am brave?” “yes! God Yes! I mean I could never speak to Mr. IL like you did.” “yes you could. If you hate him enough.” “I do hate him.” “no you don’t. you want his approval. You want him to think well of you. I don’t give a damn what he thinks about me. That’s the difference between us. Courage has nothing to do with it.” “but I do hate him,” He insisted “I hate the way he picks on me. “then you let him see it. Show him that you hate him, and nothing he can do to make you stop.” Yunho’s face darkened. “God if he made remarks about me…..”  “but he never would.” Said jaejoong quietly. “Not about you. That’s the real difference between us.”

                Suddenly light came into Yunho’s eyes, that jaejoong had never seen before. Yunho was about to talk but he stopped and face the windows. Jaejoong would know that Yoochun and The Kim twins are waiting for him. “I have to go. Thanks for sticking up for me.” Jaejoong gave the warmest smile he could.