Confession in a Vortex

I hate this. I hate everything. I hate myself. My world feels like it's being into a vortex. Everything is happening at once. Happiness. Sadness. I can't even tell them apart anymore. And in a matter of two days, I've become like this. If only life had a delete button. I wouldn't be standing here wishing that everything was fictitious. Her yelling wasn't even affecting me anymore. It just felt like dull beats against me. I had nowhere to run to, stuck there while she bombarded me with inaudible words. I was blanking out.

"It always has to be you doesn't it? Fine. You won."

Won?

Her shoulder brushed against mine and she disappeared into the night. I didn't even bother to turn around to see her leave. Instinctively, my hand reached up to feel my left cheek. No pain. Nothing at all.

"Kibum."

Jinki hyung?

"Kibum."

Tears were beginning to form as I looked up to see who it was. And it wasn't Jinki hyung. It was Jonghyun. And not Jinki hyung.

"Kibum I'm sorry."

Don't come any closer.

I hope none of our neighbors were awake. And I sure as hell hope that fangirls and paparazzi aren't lurking around right now.

"Kibum look at me."

Jinki hyung.

"It's ok now. I ended it. I've realized that you're more important than everyone else. I know this is sudden but. I love you."

I remained silent. It wasn't because I was at a loss for words. It was because I didn't want to say anything to him. What could I say? Oh yeah I just saw your, may I now say, ex-girlfriend, who just ed slapped me by the way, but sure I'll accept your love. Bull. My mind wasn't even focused on that. That was just so trivial and irrelevant. Rather, my mind was concentrated on... Jinki hyung.

"Kibum. I know what you're thinking. Yes. I am a jackass. But I love you."

Bull you know what I'm thinking.

"Jonghyun. I don't really-"

"Kibum."

If only escaping this situation was as easy as escaping Jinki hyung. I was itching to make a run for our dorms, which wasn't that far away actually. I was actually going to do it but I was stopped. Not really stopped. I was pulled into a hug. I felt his arms enclose around me body and tufts of his hair came into contact with my face.

“Jonghyun.”

“Kibum. I am the biggest pabo for letting you go. I’ll say it as many times as you want, until I grow taller than Minho. I love you.”

Until you're taller than Minho? Does that mean... You'll never stop saying it? I mean let's face it. You growing taller than Minho is impossible as Jinki hyung banning chicken for the rest of his life.

Jinki hyung?

But this. This is something I've always wanted right? Since first meeting Jonghyun. I've always wanted his attention, his love. Why do I still feel empty? What is wrong with me?

"Jong-"

It doesn't feel right for some reason. I wonder if this is my mind's retaliation against this sudden confession. But why? Wasn't I crying over this since they began going out? Wasn't I the one who was thrown into a freaking depression because I couldn't even have Jonghyun for myself? And yet why? Denial? It has to be denial isn't it? You think you're freaking dreaming don't you Kim Kibum. Well. Wake the hell up right now.

No. Don't wake up. You'll lose the memories of today.

Memories? Of today? With Jinki hyung.

Jinki hyung?

"Kibum! Please go out with me!"

HUH?

"Wh-What's this all of a sudden..."

My God. I subconsciously glanced around to see if there were unneccesary witnesses just creeping within the perimeter. Nobody? Not even Jinki hyung? Where on Earth did that boy go? Oh God. Did he stray away from me when we where running? DID HE GET LOST? Damn. He was nowhere in sight. I became a bit disheartened.

Disheartened?

I am so confused right now. AISH. That's not the point. This boy in front of me.

"Give me a chance. To redeem myself to you. To repair our relationship. To sweep you off your feet."
"Ah. You see-"

"I don't plan on taking no for an answer Kibum."

Wah. He sounds serious. This was so uncalled for. Maybe. I should just follow along with this. For the time being. To find myself. To find where my heart lies. God it still feels wrong. Wrong and right. I've always wanted him for myself haven't I? And here's my chance? To take or not to take?

"Ok," I whispered.

His face brightened in a mere second. His arms were also wrapped around my waist in a mere second. Surprisingly, I embraced him back. All the while my mind was emphasizing-

Don't regret this.

"I love you Kibum."

"I love you too."

Jinki hyung.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

**HINT HINT** Kibummie. Was. Thinking. About. Jinki. The. Whole. Time. Jjong. Was. Confessing. SHHHH. You didn't hear that from me. :P Wahhhhh. Another short chapter. Enjoyyyyyyyy~! I only made it short this time for the intensity. Sort of. ;) INTENSITYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! >:O .............. .......................... ....................................................................Gaizzzzzzzz. BEAST is the B2ST! ;DDDDDD That's all I wanted to say. LOL. <3

-FICTION IN FICTION! Mamii