My mind was so not in peace. I was doing my chores but my mind keep wondering why Taemin text me something like that. He never text me something like that. I think I’m dreaming…. Or maybe he just playing with me again. I mean… he likes to joke around… right?

At night around 11.00pm I text him again.

“Taemin… about you just said…” I text him and wait for him to reply. Instantly a message came.

“Which one?” He asked.

“You know…. The last message that you sent to me…” I text him… This time he I got to wait because he seem to take time to send text to me.

“Some people are stupid…” He said. Is he referring to me?

“Okay….” I text him.

“Some people are stupid… and blind that he doesn’t see the person in front of him”

“What?”

“The one that I’ve been searching for all this time is there all along. But I’m so dense to notice it.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m sorry for been so stupid all this time and didn’t notice your love for me. Instead of loving you… I love the wrong person. But then…. I realized… the one and only for me… is you…”

“Taemin… what are you talking about?”

“Will you be my girlfriend?” He ask. My eyes widened and I felt my ears turn red. My heart was beating like crazy and I felt like I can’t breathe. My hand starts to tremble while holding my phone. I can’t think straight right now.

“Umm… well… this is too sudden… can you... give me some time?” I text him. My heart was still beating faster. I felt like I turn pale.

“Sure… But don’t make me wait too long” He text me back.

“Okay…” I text and then we became comfortable again and talk about something else. About our family and how our holiday is. I became normal again but my smile never leave my face

The next morning I wake up. I felt like it was all a dream but I quickly check my phone. The message was still there. I smile and I felt my ears turn red. I need someone advice! I quickly message my friend Harin.

“Harin… I got a problem.” I text and wait for her to answered.

“What is it?” She ask.

“Taemin…… he ask me to be his girlfriend”

“WHAT? WHEN?”

“Yesterday when we were texting each other.”

“So… what did you said to him?”

“Well… I didn’t give him any answer yet”

“Wae?”

“I don’t know. I was too nervous that time. Should I accept him?”

“Of course you should! You like him for 2 years already. This is your chance!”

“I think you’re right. I’m gonna give him my answer now.”

“Right! Hwaiting!”

I got up from my bed and went to the bathroom. I did my daily routines after that I went downstairs. I went to the kitchen and start making breakfast for myself. Suddenly my phone buzzed. I look at my phone and I felt my cheeks redden. It was a message from Taemin. I open the text message.

“Good morning. Have you eaten your breakfast?” He text me. I replied back while taking a piece of bread.

“Good morning Taemin. I’m just about to eat.”

“Oh… did I disturb you?”

“No… not at all… Umm… Taemin about last night.”

“What about it?”

“I have my answer.”

“What is your answer?”

“Yes… Taemin… I would love to be your girlfriend.”

“Really? You do? That’s a relief. I thought you would reject me.”

“Why you think like that?”

“Well… because we’ve been friends for a long time and… after all that happen. I like Minrin and all.”

“It’s okay. You know that I like you since middle school right? Of course I still like you until now.”

“Thank you… but… I don’t want people to know about our relationship.”

“What? Why?” I ask. Baffled.

“Because… well… if everyone know they will start teasing us and everything. I don’t want that to happen. Is it okay with you?” He ask. Even though I’m not agreed with this idea but… it’s okay though.

“Yeah… okay… can I tell Sangmi about this? I mean among of my best friend she the closes one to me. I don’t want to keep a secret from her.” What he didn’t know is… I already told Harin about this… oh… well… let’s just keep that a secret for now.

“Sure… I’m sure she won’t spill the secret.”

“Thank you Taeminie!”

“No problem babe.”

“Did you just call me babe?”

“Yeah… Why? You don’t like it?”

“No… it’s not that. I’m not use to it”

“Oh okay then. I just call you by your name. But… I still can call you babe sometimes… right?”

“Sure Taemin… But not always okay? Wait until I get use to it first.”

“Okie dokie.”

So… I can say that it is a blissful morning. Taemin and I finally together. My first love… my first boyfriend. After few more days, school finally starts. My heart was thumping like crazy because I will meet Taemin again…. But today… not as a friend… but as a BOYFRIEND! OMG! What I’m gonna do when I meet him? I never had experience in relationship before. Ottoeke? Maybe… I should just act casual… you know… like we were best friend… right… just like that. When I arrived at the school the first thing I want to do is tell one of my best friend about me and Taemin. I want to tell to my best friend… the best friend among my other best friend Sangmi.

I found her sitting with Harin so I came to her.

“Sangmi… can I talk to you for a moment?” I ask her. She stand up.

“Sure.” She said and followed me. I went far away from my other 3 best friends because I don’t want them to know. I take a deep breath and start telling her what happened. Her eyes widened but then it turn into a wide smile.

“You’re not kidding are you?” She ask. I shook my head.

“OMG!!” She shout and we start jumping up and down. Then we look around us… good thing there’s no people.

“But… don’t tell anyone okay? Taemin don’t want people to know about this.” I said to her and she nodded. Then we went back where our friends are. We smile at them and act like nothing happened. When class start Taemin and I also act casual like nothing happen too. Of course he will always come to my desk and talk to me. We talk like we are best friend. But of course the feeling I have is different… I felt like… I’m talking to my boyfriend and my heart is beating faster than ever. Sometimes I couldn’t hide my nervousness.

At lunch my best friends and I eat together. We talk and laugh… suddenly Sangmi said something that I didn’t expected.

“Our friend here has a boyfriend.” She said and pointed at me. My eyes widened. Minrin and Minmi look at me. Harin just act casually because she already knew who my boyfriend is. Sangmi… YOU ARE SO DEAD.

“Really? Who is it?” They ask in unison.

“He… school here...” I said and take a sip of my drink.

“Who is it? Come on tell us!” Minmi urged me. I look everywhere I could except for them. But when I turn my head to the right direction, I saw Taemin with his friend. Now my gaze is lock at him. Looking at him, smiling and laughing with his friends. He noticed me and flash his cute smile at me, I blush and smile a little then I look back at my friends. They look at where I was looking at. Then they look at me and smile widely.

“What?” I ask act all innocent.

“It’s Taemin isn’t it?” Minrin wiggled her eyebrows.

“What are you talking about?” I shook my head acting like they said something ridiculous.

“Then, who is your boyfriend?” Minmi ask.

“Just ask Taemin about it.” I said casually… then my eyes widened. Oh no! My tongue slip…I’m so dead.

“Ohhhhh~~” Minrin and Minmi teased.

“What I meant was… I told him who is my boyfriend is.” I quickly added. They made a face showing that they don’t believe me.

“Aish! Just tell them that your boyfriend is Taemin!” Sangmi said.

“SANGMI!” I squeaked.

“Opps… I slip my tongue…” She bit her lips. I shook her hard by the arm.

“Ohh…” Minrin and Minmi chorus again. I sigh.

“Okay okay… I admit. Taemin is my boyfriend.” I said. They squeal in delight.

“OMG! They finally together!” Minri squealed and squeezed Minmi arm.

“Ouch! That hurt!” Minmi growled. Minrin released her hand and smile apologetically.

“When did you guys become couple?” Minrin ask.

“When… the 2 weeks holiday…” I said shyly.

“You lucky girl. After 2 years… FINALLY!!” Minrin shout.

“Shh…” Sangmi and I shush her.

“But… why aren’t you excited Harin?” Minmi ask.

“Because I already know way before you guys.” Harin shrugged and eat her noodles. The 3 of them look at me. I just cleared my throat and I remembered something.

“Oh… I almost forgot. Don’t tell anyone about this okay? Taemin want to keep this a secret.” I said.

“No problem!” Minri and Minmi make an okay sign. When lunch was over I went to Taemin and told him that my friends already know about us. I tell him that Sangmi slip her tongue which it’s true. I thought he will be angry at me. But he’s not.

“It’s alright. They are your friends. You shouldn’t keep secret from them right?” He said and smile.

“Neh… thank you Taemin.” I smile back. The next day of school. He openly show his love for me. He sit beside me and put an arm around on my chair so it’s looks like he was putting an arm round my shoulder but it’s not. We were discussing about math. At first he was sitting in front of me because my friends are on my left and right side. Then my 3 best friends from the right side move away and went to the back. Then Taemin change places and sit beside me. I was still okay that time because Sangmi is still with me. So… I’m not that nervous yet. Taemin is getting closer and closer to me which make my heart beat so fast. But I hide it with talking a lot. Then I felt empty space beside me to the left.

I look to my side and saw Sangmi is gone. I gulped and look back at the book in front of us. Now I felt more nervous. OTTOEKE??!! Calm down now… nothing will happen. Right… nothing. We were sitting so closed together. He put an arm around behind my chair. Now… I don’t know what else to say.

The days getting better and better. When PE we will wear the same colour of shirts which is I think it’s so sweet of him. Every day if I come early to school he will come early too and talk with me. But….

Something that I worried about is…. That… I don’t trust him. I don’t know why… but my heart… doesn’t trust him. This is what I’m afraid of. Why I don’t trust him? I know him for a long time already… Maybe because… I always saw him talking to girls. He has many girls’ friends. I shouldn’t be jealous right? Because they are just his friends. I talk to him about this.

“Taemin… I don’t really trust you..” I said.

“What? Why?” He ask.

“Because… you are always with the other girls.”

“Baby… you should know. I would never cheat on you. If I really going to get a new girlfriend. I will breakup with you first. But I didn’t.” He said. Now I felt a little bit guilty.

“Mianhae… from now on. I will trust you…” I said and smile. He smile back. From that day, I start to trust him. Whenever I saw him with other girls I will put away my jealousy and trust him with all my hearts. But something else happen…. He grew distant from me. I thought it’s just my feeling… But I don’t know. One day there’s a problem with our phone line. We can’t contact or message anyone for days. I left my phone in my room and went downstairs since I know that the line was bad. At 11.00 pm I went back upstairs to my room and check my phone. A message from Taemin…

“I want to say something to you…” That’s all his message. I try to send my message but it won’t get through. I guess the line is still bad. I got to wait for tomorrow. The next morning I woke up and instantly wrote back to Taemin.

“What you want to say to me last night? I’m sorry I didn’t reply the line was bad and my phone is in my room.” I text him and apologized to him. I went to brush my teeth first while waiting for Taemin to reply. When I done I look at my phone. There was a text message from Taemin. I smile and open the text. Then my eyes widened and I felt numb… the text wrote….

“Let’s breakup.” I swallowed my tears. I couldn’t believe it... Is this true? I read the text again and again… so it’s true. We only last for a month. I try to act cool and show no emotions. I felt confused now… I don’t know what I felt right now everything just felt like a dream. I went to school and act like nothing happen. I wait for my friends to come… Taemin… I don’t know where he is. Minmi is the first to come and I greet her casually. We talk about some random stuff and I try really hard to forget about what just happen this morning. Until Minmi ask about him…

“So… how’s thing with you and Taemin?” She ask smiling. My eyes become to water as I look down. I hold back my tears and look at her.

“We…. Broke up…” I said. Her eyes widened in shock.

“What?” She ask. I pulled out my phone and show the text to her. She look at me and then back to the phone. My eyes became to water but I hide it. But… I think she can see through me because she look at me with a sad expression. When the rest of my friends come, Minmi told them about Taemin and I. They couldn’t believe it too since we only couple for a month. I just kept quiet because if I say something I know my tears will spill out.

At class he ignored me. While for me…. I try ignored him too. But every time I look at him… I couldn’t help but felt so much pain my heart. I felt like screaming on his face and ask him why he broke up with me. For the rest of the week… I’m like a doll. Only staring on the distance and show no emotions at all. Our teacher he was like the funniest teacher in the class. He makes jokes which make all my classmates laugh and begin to teary. While for me I just watch the teacher with no interest. No smile or laugh form on lips. I didn’t eat when lunch and when at home I try my best to hide my sadness so that my mom won’t get worried. I only show sadness in my school which makes my friends worried. My mom said I get skinnier but I just smile and said nothing. I cried every night. Every time I went to school, there will be dark circles, eyes bags or puffy eyes on my face. I try to hide it with my bangs because I don’t want to make my friends worried about me more. But looks like… they really know how I felt right now.

1 week… only 1 week but I felt it was the worst year of my life. After a week I turn to my normal self. The bubbly and the cheerful person. But I can’t lie… Every time I look at Taemin it felts like a thousand of knives stabbing my heart. Even though I’m back to normal but every night I still cry and that’s not good for me. So… I found a solution. Be friend with Taemin… just friend. That way I won’t felt so hurt by his coldness to me. So… step by step I became his friend again. And I finally stop crying every night. I’ve been crying every night for a month already and it’s time to stop. And now it’s stop.

So… Taemin and I became best friend again and my wound cured a little bit. I have the feeling where… if I can’t become his lover at least best friend is enough for me. But you know what… after 4 months of breakup. I think something that I shouldn’t do. I want to be his girlfriend again… should I say the process? I ask my friend to tell him about this. So at night he messages me. Asking me thousands of questions why I like him and all. I think he don’t want to become my boyfriend.

“Taemin. If you don’t want just say it. I’m okay with it. Really.” I text him.

“Who says I don’t want?” He reply. I blink. What?

“Well… you keep asking questions and all. I thought you don’t want to be back together.” I text him back.

“I love you.” He reply. My eyes widened and I squealed in my mind. IS THIS A DREAM??!! I pinch myself hard on the arm and felt total pain! It’s not a dream.

“So… are we back together?” I ask him.

“Yes we are…. What are you doing right now?” He ask. My smile getting wider. For the rest of the night we talk about school, my annoying 3^rd brother and everything that we can chat about. So… we are officially back together. Of course my friends were happy because I’m not the emo or sad person anymore. I’m happy! So Taemin and I hangout more often. We even go the mall and walk around the streets with our friends. Of course they give us privacy and let us have some couple time. They walk in front we walk at the back. But it didn’t last… he change… for the second time and it’s only been a week of our new relationship. He gets closer with my best friend or should I say the one who he have a crush before… Minrin.

I didn’t say anything… because I said I will trust him. But when I saw him talking with Minrin alone… I can’t hide my tears… and for the first time… I cried in front of my best friend… Harin. I couldn’t hide my broken heart anymore. I know… Minrin is Taemin best friend and they know each other longer than he know me. But… why he does this to me? He gets closer with Minrin and completely ignored me.

At night… I done taking a shower. With a wet hair I lay on my bed and stared on the ceiling. Then my phone buzzed and I snapped out from my thought. It was a message from Harin.

“Hey… I got something to tell you.” Harin text me.

“What is it?” I replied.

“Do you really love Taemin?”

“Yeah… why you ask that?”

“I hope you are okay after I tell you this…” She text me. I start to feel uncomfortable.

“What is it?”

“You sure you will be okay?”

“Just tell me. I will be okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“JUST TELL ME!!” I start to get impatient.

“Actually… Taemin doesn’t really love you. He just couple with you because he felt sympathy towards you for loving him all this years.” She text. My eyes widened. What should I say now… sympathy?

“How did you know about this?” I ask her.

“Minrin told me. She said…. Taemin told her about this.” She text me… I closed my phone and put it away. I couldn’t take it anymore. I clench my chest… trying to calm my heart… my aching heart… I start to feel breathless. Tears started to fall… hands started to tremble. I cupped my mouth preventing myself from making a loud sobs. This cannot be true… no… it’s not true… it can’t be. Please… don’t make it true…

It’s been 2 day after Harin told me about it. I talk to Taemin’s ex girlfriend about this because she is the best advisor. I should say… she got a new boyfriend already. Anyway… she told me I should ask him personally about this than just try to run away from him. She’s right… but can I face him without crying in front of him? The next day I only stared at him talking with his friends under the shade of tree. Thinking if I should go now or not. Then Taemin ex girlfriend approach me.

“What are you doing? You should go now” She said.

“I don’t know….” I whispered.

“Come on… I accompany you.” She said and pulled my hand and brought me to Taemin. When we in front of them… Taemin and his friends look at us with confused expressions.

“Hi…” Taemin ex girlfriend said. His friends know right away and they say goodbye to Taemin and walk away from us.

“Good luck.” She whispered to my ear and stand away a few meters away from me and Taemin. Taemin and I kept quiet for a moment and then I finally spoke up.

“T-T-Taemin… I want to ask you something.” I stuttered a bit.

“What is it?” He ask and look at me. I see nothing in his eyes. Not loving eyes towards me or any other feeling he has towards me.

“Is it true… that… you accept because… you felt sympathy towards me?” I ask slowly. His face showed no expression. He cleared his throat.

“…… Yes…” He said. I felt my worlds spinning and I can’t think anything anymore except for the tears that was about to spill.

“Why Taemin…?” I whispered.

“Well… because… you know… umm…” He couldn’t speak right. I nodded with a small smile and walk away from him. Leaving him alone… Taemin ex girlfriend came to me and ask me what happened. She gasped I told her it was true… the sympathy was true… should I break up with him now? I don’t know… When I said it's okay for him to reject me I really meant it. I don't want him to feel burden because of me.

It’s been 2 months our relationship… or should I say… hanging relationship. It was school holidays for 2 months and this is the 1^st month of school holidays. We didn’t text each other. I’ve been thinking about Taemin all this while. Whether I should break up with him or not. I talk with my friends on Yahoo chat. And then I make a decision. I send a message to one of Taemin’s friend in Yahoo chat.

“Tell Taemin… I want to breakup with him.” I send the text and then closed my laptop. I sit on the bed. The next few day I received a message from Taemin’s friend and he said he already said to Taemin that I want to breakup with him. And Taemin respond was…. “oh”

Taemin text me… but he didn’t said anything… just this..

“.     .    .”

Only 3 simple dots. Such idiot! I know I never said that word to him before but this time I just can’t hold it in. Days become weeks and months. School start and this is the last year of high school and next year we will go to college. Now… I’m gonna be 18. Taemin and I… we’ve been so distant more than our first breakup. We don’t even look at each other anymore. He avoided me and I avoided him. Things get worst when I felt more pain in my heart and what shocking me the most was…. My friend… Minrin.

“You what??!!” I shout at her.

“I couple with Taemin before.” She said.

“When?” My voice start to tremble.

“When the school holidays.” She said. I bit my lip preventing myself from yelling at her.

“You couple with him… after I broke up with him. Right?” I ask.

“Actually… I couple with him… before you guys breakup.” She said. I felt like the time stops… He cheated on me…

“I would never cheat on you. If I really going to get a new girlfriend. I will breakup with you first.”

Those words were just a lie… he cheated on me…. He cheated on me… with my OWN BEST FRIEND!

“Minrin… how could you do this to me?” I ask her.

“I didn’t do anything. He was the one that ask me to be his girlfriend.” She said without feeling guilty at all.

“You could reject him Minrin. You know I love him…” I said. Tears started to well up in my eyes.

“He was begging me and all. I felt sorry for him so I accept him.” She said. Her voice sounds like she proud that a guy like Taemin likes her. She felt NO GUILTY at all… I can’t believe this… is she really my friend? Now I know why all this time I been with Taemin I never trusted him. I never trusted him not even once. I tried to trust him.... but I can't. My heart just can't trust him. I always wonder why. Now I know the answer why I can't trust him.... It's because.... he's just a liar... I turn around and leave her standing there. When school ended I went home and my dad give me a news that I didn’t expected.

“We are moving away from Korea!” He said cheerfully. My mom hugged him with joy while my 3 brothers just look at each other and smile… This is it… Goodbye… My Love.

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EPILOGUE

It’s been 2 years since I last meet him. And it’s been 5 years since I met him. Now… I’m in US… continuing my study here… I’m in college now and my age is 20 years old. I met someone and have a crush on someone… but I never had any boyfriend since my last relationship with Taemin… and that is…2 years ago. Even though it’s been 2 years… but my memories with him stay in my heart. I could never forget about him. Every time when I think about him… I felt pain in my heart. Pains that will always make me cry…. A scar that cannot be cured.  It’s an old scar but I felt like it was just yesterday and the scar keep bleeding nonstop. Where can I find the cure? How can I find the cure? Who could fix my broken heart? Who can melt my cold heart that turn into stone? How can I forget about him?

DO YOU WANT A SEQUEL?