A pair of arms enveloped Taeyeon’s back in a warm embrace. Their body heat felt nice against her back. She felt their chin rest on the crook of her shoulder. As she surrendered to the sudden show of affection, she felt herself calming down a bit. Whoever it was, it made her feel safe. It made her feel a small ounce of love in the depths of her somber heart.

They remained like that until her tears stopped falling and the sobbing stopped. Bracing herself, she turned around. She felt her heart drop.

It was the first time Taeyeon had seen her cry. The usual bright and cheerful girl was quietly sniffling. Trying to hide any weakness, she attempted to put on a tough visage.

“Taengoo-ah, I thought you were gone.” Sunny broke into tears again. “Some of the others are down by the shore, but Jessica, she’s-.”

“She’s what? What happened?”

“She’s- ”

“Damn it. What happened? Tell me!” Taeyeon finally erupted.

“I’ve never seen Yuri so distraught. She hasn’t moved all day. Sooyoung is still unconscious, Yoona needs stitches, and Seohyun is going crazy trying to calm everyone down. When I woke up, I found all the members fairly close by. So far, they’re the only ones who I know are still alive.” It was obvious she was trying to avoid Taeyeon’s question.

“I keep telling myself things are not too bad because at least they’re still alive, right? Soon we’ll be rescued and things will be the way it should again. It would be like this never happened at all. But then I realized, how can things ever be the same? There are bodies everywhere. Wherever I go, I find detached limbs and lifeless bodies. Some of their eyes are still open. I can’t even tell the living from the dead. God, it’s all a mess. What the hell do we do?”

“And Jessica, we can’t find her. God damn it Taeyeon, she could be dead right now and we won’t even know.” With that last sentence, Sunny bursted into tears again.

It was Taeyeon’s turn to be strong now. She held Sunny by her shoulders and tilted her chin so their eyes met.

“For now, can you lead me back to the others?” She had to muster all the determination left in her just to utter those few words. How could she say it was going to be ok when she herself didn’t even believe it? Sunny took her hand and they walked together in silence. They walked past all their loved ones lying lifelessly on the ground, past the fire still burning from the debris, past all the remains of their previous life.

~

“Taeyeon!” She found herself being embraced by six other trembling bodies.”

Seeing the others gave her a bit of optimism in her most vulnerable state. They were all glad to see Taeyeon. But as much as they expected guidance from their leader, Taeyeon needed them just as much. They were her sanity. They were her sole purpose right now. She had never done much in the past, preferring to just step back and let others take the responsibilities that came with her role. Right now, more than ever, they needed her. She wasn’t going to let them down. For once she was going to live up to their expectations.

“It’ll be best if we don’t all split up, but some of us will have to go looking for Jessica. I think it’ll be best if Seohyun stays to tend to Yoona’s wound and watches in case Sooyoung wakes up. Hyoyeon, you should stay too to help Seohyun. Yuri, you have to snap out of it. We need you now more than ever. Don’t shut us out. We’re never going to find Jessica if you don’t help us. Sunny, go with Yuri to look for Jessica. Check the shoreline and near the crash site. If you find anything useful bring it back here, medical supplies especially.”

They all stared at Taeyeon in shock.

After they came to their senses, awe and admiration were clear on their faces. They all set out to fulfill their designated roles. Even Yuri got up with a new look of determination on her face. Sunny patted Taeyeon’s back as she whispered, “Thanks Taengoo, just when we needed a leader, we got one.”

“Unni, if you don’t mind me asking though, what are you going to do?” The maknae inquired with fear still lingering in her eyes.

“I’m going back into the plane.”