-I…I love you…and…and I’m sorry…

Donghae POV

What can I say? What can I do? I…I was waiting for those words…but you…didn’t…told me…I was…in pain…and you didn’t care…but now…now you want me to forgive you?  I…I’m not… a bad person…I don’t want you to suffer like I did. But…I have to think about someone…me. I haven’t for a long time…in the past. But now…I…don’t know. Maybe…you should…just tell me goodbye…and forget me. I…tought I did…but…I didn’t…because…my heart is hurting so badly right now…I don’t want you to see those tears, but…i can’t hold them anymore. I want to scream at you. I want to punch you in the face so hard that you will never wake up. I want to hug you and cry in your arms. I want you to tell me that everything is okay. I want to run away. I want to forget you…I want to love you…I don’t understand. I hate you with all my heart…yet…I love you. You’re a part of me…I don’t want this to end like that. I don’t want to become just a stranger to you. But I don’t want to forgive you. I…I…love Joon too… ASH WHY? WHY IS IT SO COMPLICATED? WHY CAN’T I JUST FORGIVE YOU? WHY CAN’T I JUST…MOVE ON? I WANT TO…be happy. What am I supposed to do? Please…tell me…anybody…god? I’m helpless…I…need…someone…I…need…myself? Yes…only myself will be able to understand perfectly what I’m living…Why do I feel so alone? There’s a lot of people who actually…love me.

-Baby? Are you oka- What are you doing here?

-…

-ING ! YOU ALREADY BROKE HIM ONCE! THERE’S NO WAY I’M GOIGN TO LET YOU BREAK HIM ONE MORE TIME! Donghae…are you okay?

-N-no…I’m…not…okay…

I can’t stay here. I’m sorry Joon…I’m sorry Hyukjae…but it’s too hard right now. I need some fresh air. I need some time by myself. I have to think. What do I really want? What do I really need? Is my heart ready to take a decision? AAAAAAAAAAAAH! GOD PLEASE I BEG YOU! PLEASE! GIVE ME COURAGE! GIVE ME STRENG! MAKE ME STRONGER! I NEED TO TAKE A DECISION! ONCE FOR ALL! Please…don’t let me down. W-where am I? I was running…I…I’m lost. Haha I guess…that will let me planty time to think about…this. I wish I was in a movie…with an happy ending. But I know I’m not…otherwise…this night…i twill have been rainning. Not a beautiful night with the moon shining up in the sky. Ha…hahahahaha…I…think…I’m going crazy. Because…I know…I’m going to screw up something…but…I don’t know wich one I should screw. My life with you, Eunhyuk? Or the one I’m having right now with Joon? In both situation…there’s no coming back. I have to choose…before it’s too late…Joon…he…never hurted me. He…was…there for me…and…he’s still there…he’s not my true love…but him his true love. And I know…he will always take good care of me. The choice seems simple…but why? Why can’t you just don’t agree with that…heart? You’re the only one who’s protesting right now…can I know why? What’s your reasons? I want to know. PLease tell me…because I can’t understand you and sadly…I can’t live without you. If…you can’t say what’s your reason…just…follow the rest. Because…you’re hurting me…and yourself at the same time.

END OF POV

Donghae Heart POV

I know…I’m sorry. I’m hurting you…and I know…you have suffered enough. But…it’s your fault too. Because you keep on remembering the time you were with Hyukjae…and you keep on giving them importance. You’re the only one, Donghae who can decide to be happy. You will be happy the day you will decide to be happy. The day you will accept to be loved. Donghae…please understand me. I’m not doing this to be mean. I’m doing this for you. Like this…one day…you will take the decision that it’s enough. That you want to be happy. I can’t take this decision. You need to take it yourself. Be strong Donghae…you have all it takes…you just need to…make your  way. Don’t worry. You will be happy. No matter what. You will be happy. Just…hang on a little bit longer.

END OF POV

Joon POV

He ran away. He…ran away from me. I…why? I’m here for him. Why is he still hesitating? I’m the right choice for him. I…want him to be happy. I’ve been there for him when he needed it the most. I…can wait. If…if I really want him to be happy…I will wait for him…for his decision…and no matter what…I will…always love him. Even if he choose him…I’ll support him…Because…his happiness…that’s all it matter to me… Donghae…

You’re not alone…

AN: I think I need to revise the definition of Updating soon...

Comment are ALWAYS welcome. Feel free to suscribe