What the hell went wrong?

I stretched my back and sighed. That stupid boy, can’t he figure out that this restaurant has mirrors on the walls? Even the old man was smiling from behind the counter of his oblivious.

That’s it, he’s been staring at me for more than an hour now, and I could feel the tense on my brain. So I shoved him out of the restaurant after I make sure he ate something because he prolly won’t eat anything else until tomorrow morning.

I took his book to the counter and sat on one of the stool, taking a break and cooled my self down.

He used to want me

He used to long for me

But I could only watch as day by day the fire disappear in his eyes.

“Baozi, I’m sorry” Luhan approached me with red snorty nose and watered eyes.

I stopped at my track and looked ahead to see him. He’s been avoiding me cruelly for the past week, since the day I confessed to him.

“Luhan, why are you crying?” I rushed to him and took out my handkerchief, wiping his nose and tears that about to streamed from his eyes.

“I said... I’m sorry”

“Stupid Luhan, it was my mistake” I sighed “I shouldn’t confuse you like that”

“No” he shook his head “I’m sorry for not being a good friend. I shouldn’t run away like that. I shouldn’t stop being friends with you because you’re...”

He couldn’t bring himself to say it and it was cute to see him struggle “gay?” I asked him.

“Yes... that” his face reddened and I couldn’t help a chuckle.

“Okay than, apology is taken. I forgive you” I smiled at him.

Me and Luhan were friends since we started high school. He was a skinny shy boy with girly face, and the fact he’s a foreigner didn’t help him getting along with other students. On the other side, I was pointed as the class president, and being the perfectionist I was, I wanted my classmates to blended with each other.

And I notice him in the back row, always alone and nervously looked down. So I approached him first, apparently he just moved in and his Korean wasn’t very good. Thus why he didn’t dare to talk to anybody. Poor kid, so I helped him improving his Korean, we get to know each other and the next thing I knew, I was in love.

Luhan had this bright cute personality that drawn people to him. I only helped him a little bit and he already shine on his own. I didn’t know since when but I caught myself stared at him more than I usually did. I touched him longer than I supposed to.

And it slipped off me one day, I told him that I was in love with him. We were only 17 by then so I expected a harsh rejection, but still it pained me. I lost my best friend. He avoided me like I was a plague, he wouldn’t even look at me anymore. And I was outcasted.

“Baozi...” I looked to my side, where he sat.

“What is it, Luhan? I’m going to finish this report and hand it to the teacher so we could go home” I replied, he was chapping his bottom lip and his brows knitted.

The classroom was empty, Luhan bounced his basketball as he waited for me finishing my daily report as the class president.

“I was just wondering” he said wearily “How did you know your gay?”

I put my pen down and sighed “It’s the same when you had a crush on Mina, or Mi Young, or...”

“Okay, okay... I got it” he grinned.

“Good, now can you stop bothering me so we could go home faster?” I pleaded at him and he nodded.

I continued writing, sounds of the ball bounced to the floor echoes in silent, the afternoon sun shone from the big window, glowing in a gold ray.

“Hey, baozi...” he whispered near my ear and I could feel his breathe.

“Hmmm...” I hummed, still ignoring him.

“Look at me”

“What is...” I looked up and my eyes widened at his face was so close to mine and his eyes were closing. A pair of lips pressed to mine and I could only froze.

He pulled away and blinked his eyes “Baozi, did you still love me?”

I nodded slowly still dazed from my stolen kiss and he smiled sweetly “Great, can I be your first boyfriend then?”

So where the hell it went wrong?

“Didn’t you say you’re going on a date today?” the boss asked from the small window on the kitchen.

I looked at the clock and groaned “Yes, but we’re busy now, I’m sure Yi Fan wouldn’t mind to wait”

Mr. Park nodded and went back to his cook while I served and cleaned the table.

The door was open and a tall lanky guy with blonde hair framing his sculpture handsome face walked in.

I smiled at him and signed him to sit on the bar. He had this frowning face, but his lips curved in a smile as he waved at me, making a few girls sigh at his perfection.

Sometimes I couldn’t believe Kris was in love with me. How can someone with a steady life and god-like face like him confessed to me. I was only a student struggled with three or sometimed more, part time jobs to paid my tuition and living since I left home after highschool.

I was lost and confused when I broke up with Luhan. For more than two years, I loved Luhan with all my heart. He was the perfection because when you’re in love, you accept him for a whole and the emptiness was killing me.

If it wasn’t for Kris, I might still drowned myself in despair and sadness. He was my broken angel, I could see the hurt on his face when I tortured myself with memories. I tried to push him away but he wouldn’t leave me alone. Always behind me when I turned my back. And my heart was desperate for his hand.

Do you go from being my love to being stranger just by saying it’s over?

I can’t do that so don’t expect anything from me.

“Do you regret it?”

I turned my face to Kris who sat next to me. Our shoulders glued one another, his cold handsome face was expressionless as usual, but his eyes filled with pain and sadness. A fringe falls on one side and I brushed it aside.

“No Yi Fan. I’m not going back to him” I tigthened my grip on his hand.

“It’s just... I’ve known you for sometimes now. And I know how much you loved each other, all I wanted is you to be happy”

“Then make me” I said “Not by letting me go, but by making me yours”

I leaned my head toward his and captured his soft thin lips.

“Can you be mine, Minseok?” he whispered wearily and pressed our forehead together. “Can you really be mine?”

He closed his eyed and I went back to this afternoon incident. I was taking a break and Chanyeol took over my role helping his father’s restaurant. Me and Kris sat together with Jongdae and Kyungsoo when Sehun and a familiar figure with his head down walked in.

Everyone’s eyes were on me and Kris as we stared at Luhan, he cleared his throat before awkwardly apologized and said that he missed us. With his big watery round eyes that all familiar to me. And that flustered smile that I used to admire.

“Yi Fan, you might not be the first person I gave my heart to” I struggled to find words between my tears “And there’ll be times when you felt we weren’t belong to each other. And if you can’t believe in me, have faith in your love for me”

"God, Minseok...I love you so much, I could die if you leave me" he ghosts his breathe on my skin.

"Open your eyes, Yi Fan. I'm not leaving"

And it gets so hard some time

To know just what to do

Stuck in the middle with you.

_

It's all flashback, except where Minseok in the restaurant with his boss and Kris came to pick him up.

Yep, Minseok chose Kris in the end.

Why? Because the world needs more xiuris, kekekeke...