I made my way wearily down the halls checking every door carefully. My breathing got heavy as I rushed around trying my hardest to get back to him. It had to be somewhere around here; Room 778, room 779, room 780 and finally at the end of the corridor room 781. Bingo. I hesitated slightly before pressing the handle on the door, entering as quietly as possible. That’s when the tears came back. They flowed uncontrollably with no signs of ceasing. I watched his chest rise and fall calmly from the foot of the bed. My cheeks were soaking wet by this point and I attempted to dry them with the hem of my shirt but it failed completely. Nothing but my quiet sobs and the gentle beep of the heart monitor could be heard in the silence as I watched him sleep.

I maneuvered around the bed to get a better look at him. His features were a lot more prominent in the light of the room. I traced my fingers over his lips and his cheek. His dirty blonde hair was disheveled so I ran my fingers through it to bring some sort of order back to it. He looked so defenseless. Just lay there not being able to protect himself. I had to close my eyes to shield myself from hurting anymore. I took refuge on the chair in the corner of the room and waited for him to come back to me. I stared at my hands, my arms, my feet anywhere but the bed he lay on. The clock ticked painfully slow and every second felt like an hour. My eyelids drooped lower and lower just from looking at it and before I knew it I was out like a light.

***

I was woken up by the gentle click of the door being opened. I sat up in my chair and watched as  a woman in a long white coat set foot in the door, one of the doctors from before. She held a plain black clipboard in her arm, cradling it like it was something precious to her. Her hair was blonde and scraped back in a tight bun. Her shoes made mild taps on the floor as she made her way to the side of the bed, she hadn’t noticed me in the room yet. She called Junho’s name softly.

‘Mr. Park how are you feeling?’ She asked in the lightest voice I had ever heard in my life. Junho began to stir a little in his sleep as he was brought back to the real world. Soon enough his eyes fluttered open. He winced a little at the bright light and covered his eyes with his hands. She asked him the question again and he looked at her with a blank expression as though he misunderstood or didn’t hear her. Then his eyes suddenly widened.

‘What happened where am I? Where’s Eun Ae?’ He said with a panicked tone. I was about to stand up and reassure him that I was all right when the doctor spoke instead.

‘Calm down Mr. Park, you were in a car accident. You’re in the hospital’ She told him while getting him to lie back down. She in a big breath before speaking again, ‘I’m sorry to inform you Mr. Park that the woman you were in the crash with didn’t make it’. My eyes widened at the last part, as did Junho’s. Did she have the wrong information?

‘What are you talking about I’m right here?’ I shouted making my way over to the bed but no one responded to my outburst. I started panicking just as Junho had done a few seconds ago. ‘No no this isn’t happening. I’m alive, I’m right here. HELLO!!’ I screamed in their faces but just as before no response. Tears fell rapidly from my eyes. More rapid than when I had witnessed Junho looking so lifeless. ‘ANSWER ME PLEASE! JUNHO I’M HERE’ I pleaded hoping he would snap out of it and see that I was here. But there was nothing, not even a twitch. Junho sat there in complete shock.

‘Please tell me this is a joke’ He whispered as droplets of water fell from his eyes. The doctor looked at him sympathetically.

‘I’m afraid not sir. I really am sorry’ She answered and left silently closing the door just as gently as she had opened it, giving him some privacy. However that clearly wasn’t the answer Junho was looking or hoping for. He placed his head in his hands and just broke down. I reached out to him placing my hands on his shoulders. This made me wail even more.

‘If I can touch you why can’t you see me’ You cried keeping your hands where they were. ‘This is not happening how could I be dead. It doesn’t make any sense’.