Love letter.1

'I told you that before and I will repeat it if that is what you need!' he yelled again, his throat hurting from how loud the last words were.

'But, I saw you! I saw you! Why you hurt me? You know how weak I am when it comes to you. I can't stand to see all those es touching you!' the shorter one yelled too.

Kyuhyun hit the wall with his fist, until pain was unsupportable, and he knew that he won't use his left hand next day.

'Listen, and listen well! Nobody touched me! Understand? Nobody! There were no girls around me anyway' he said with an angry voice, trying hard to control himself, not to yell again.

 'Yes, but I saw Leeteuk hyung looking at you. And you were looking at Donghae! I saw you!'

'What the...Sungmin, please shut up, for God's sake! Leeteuk? Donghae? Is there brain in that head? Are you going insane?'

'But, I saw it!'

Kyuhyun couldn't control himself anymore. It was the third time when Sungmin was jealous this week, and he couldn't support another fight with him. He put his hands on his shoulders and smashed him in the wall.

'Shut up! I'm sick of hearing this nonsense! You're jealous, too jealous and you see things, Min. I've had enough. Can't you see that I'm tired of having argues with you and yelling and taking all of this ? I'm out of here, go to hug that ing bunnies of yours so you will leave me alone.' he yelled and left the room in a stormy way.

Sungmin was looking at the door which was slammed in his face one second ago. That was the worst fight they had. He started to shake and he felt tears on his face. Scared? Of course! His heart was beating like crazy and he couldn't breath. Kyuhyun never yelled at him like that, never said such things to him. He fell down, on his knees and put his hands on his face. He started to cry hard, with loud sobs and he felt his heart broken, and he felt guilty. He took a long stare to the door, hoping he would see Kyuhyun opening it and coming to him. But there were no moves. The door was still closed, the silence was awkward and he was standing there, hopeless still looking at the white piece of wood.

'Than sleep on the couch!' he said between two sobs.

Kyuhyun sat, supported by the door and he was listening Sungmin's sobs and cries after his last sentence. He seemed to suffocate and he heard how things were falling on the ground, hitting it and the sound when the boy fell heavy on the bed. He thought that he was too drastic and he won't tell that words again. A headache hit him. Maybe he should knock the door and try to talk with Min. He felt his eyes stinging and he knew that he would cry soon, feeling guilty, thinking about himself as being a horrible person. He lifted up and he went to the living room.

'Yah, I didn't have the time to take my games' he said while entering the room.

The rest of the members were there, looking at him. Of course they heard all of the discussions and yells and now they were curious for some explanations. Too bad, Kyuhyun wasn't in the mood to explain his argues with his boyfriend. He went straight to the couch and stopped in front of the man who reading.

'Erm...Leeteuk hyung' he started to talk shyly to the one who was in front of him.

'Yes' he answered quickly, looking at Kyuhyun.

Kyu's hands were sweating and his whole body was shaking and he hadn't no idea why all those things were happening.

'Hyung, can I sleep with you tonight? I hate the couch' he asked, feeling awkward about his silly question.

Everybody started to laugh. Leeteuk gave him a big smile and answered.

'Sure.'

He petted Kyuhyun's hair and took him to his room. He showed him the bed where Kangin used to sleep and sighed while the younger boy sat on it. He turned around, refusing to face him, because he felt a pain in his chest, next to his heart and there were already tears in his eyes. He wiped them quickly and put his hair on his face to hide the redness which came along with tears.

'I'm going to take a shower' the older said, trying to hide a sob. He didn't want Kyuhyun to see his weakness, he had already his problems.

Kyu was sitting on the bad, looking at the ceiling. He saw Leeteuk wiping his tears and he could hear his sobs, between the sounds of the shower. He really missed his lover. At another time he probably would cheer him up, he would try to understand him, but now there was just Sungmin's face in his mind. He felt his own tears falling down his chicks. He didn't wipe them, he didn't hide his face. What if he will hate him after all those hard words, after all those fights? He was worried because he had no idea what would happen the next day and he wasn't brave enough to go to his own room to talk with him. He sobbed and turned around to face the pillow. The air was chilly and the heavy atmosphere was pressing on his shoulders.

Leeteuk came in the room, wearing his pajamas and he went straight to his bed, not looking at Kyuhyun. He covered himself with the blanket and felt lot safer when his red face and puffy eyes were hidden.

'Everything would be okay' he said with a soft voice, trying to cheer up the younger one.

'Mmm...' Kyuhyun said with his face still in his pillows.

'Good night' Leeteuk said before turning off the lights.

Nobody slept in that room. The older one sobbed all night long, while the other one just looked to the wall, his face being emotionless. Kyuhyun felt his body heavy and the pain from his chest made breathing hard for him. That was the first night when the chilly air really disturbed him and he knew the reason why. There was no Sungmin's body in his arms, feeling his warm. He could say that it was the worse night in his life.

He was shaking and tears were rolling down his cheeks. Their bitterness was making the situation even harder for Sungmin to handle. And the little, warm, drops were falling, and after they were reaching the bed, they would continue their falling, smashing into Min's soul, hurting it again. He couldn't stand this pain so he sobbed loud, trying to erase the pain. But that didn't work. Hearing his own cries was making him even weaker in front of pain and he bit his lip. He tried to cover that awful taste with the one of his blood, but that wasn't a good idea at all. His lips were bleeding, a drop of red liquid falling on the paper in front of him.

There was more than an hour from when he started to write. Tears were falling on that paper, blood. All the pain and sadness that was in his body hit that piece of notebook. It wanted to be a letter, but it was so messy, full of mistakes and spots.

The air was chilly and it pierced. Kyuhyun wasn't there to hug him so he couldn't feel that unpleasant air. That thought made him sob, and one more salty tear feel on the piece of paper.

It was almost six in the morning when he finished. The pain was still there, in his chest hitting him and making him cry. He put the letter on Kyuhyun's bed, next to the bunny he left there. He stepped outside the room and put his hand on the knob. Before he closed the door he whispered a slow 'Sorry' and left one more tear fall. He closed the door slowly, he wouldn't want anyone to wake up.

He left the dorm quietly. Outside, the wind was blowing and there were no people around. He stepped in world, feeling a bit guilty for leaving like this, but he couldn't stay there. The only thought that was in his mind it was that if Kyuhyun would forget him. Sungemin felt the pain again and he put his hand on his chest. The pain was growing and he knew that it was only one way to escape from it so he let his tears run on his face again. Long sobs were filling the air, his eyes were puffy from so much crying.

After one hour of walking he found a bench and sat there. He closed his phone; there were no need for calls and he didn't want anybody to find him. He felt just like a teenager, running like this because of his problems and because of his feelings. Normally he would smile at this kind of thought but now he couldn't. 'I can't be helped' he said softly between sobs, wiping away his tears. 

Kyuhyun stepped outside Leeteuk's dorm and went to his own. He spent the last three hours trying to calm down the older man, who was crying his heart out. Now he was asleep, with hi face covered with marks from so much crying. Kyuhyun looked at him again before he closed the door. That was a night full of awkward moments and without any chance to sleep. He never thought before that Leeteuk could cry that much just thinking about Kangin and the idea that he misses him. After this thought Kyuhyun slapped himself mentally. He would be the same if he was far from Sungmin. He reached his room but he didn't dare to enter. He knocked slowly, but nobody answer.

'Ah, I'm such an idiot.' he said slowly. He rested his head supported by the door and started to talk again. 'Listen Min...I know you're mad at me and I know I've been a jerk and an idiot and I've acted selfish, just like a stupid kid, saying all those things to you' he said without breathing. 'Minnie, please...This was the worse night I've ever had. It was cold without you in my arms. Damn! I need you Min, that's the idea...Please...I know I was a totally idiot...Please' he continued again with his voice full of sincerity and sadness, but nobody answered.

He sat there for more than ten minutes with his hands on his face, thinking about that Sungmin really hates him. He didn't hear any noises so he decided to open the door. He was pretty surprised it was unlocked and he walked in the room but the one he was looking for wasn't there. The room was cold and he saw the open window. He looked around but there was nothing strange. 'Maybe he has some early schedule' he thought and went to bathroom, leaving the room empty again.

He didn't saw the pink bunny Sungmin left on his bed. He didn't saw his letter and it remained there, untouched. The air in the room was chilly, Kyuhyun didn't close the window. The sadness from last night was still there, the yells were hidden under the bed and he could smell all of the tears that fall in that place a couple of hours ago, but he didn't seem to notice that something is going wrong.

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Hey there~

Sorry it took me so long to update [again] but I had lots of homeworks and I had some kind of contest today and there was no time for writing at all T^T. Anyway, I want to say something about this 'thing'...So it is a double-shot [actually I wanted to write it like an one-shot but it was too long I preferd to write it in two parts]. I tried to make it a little angsty and I know everybody is crying and stuff and it is pretty lame the way I describe all the situations, but I promise I'll try harder next time so it would be better ^^. Thanks for the comments and I hope you will like this :]

                                                                                                         <3