Even though it broke my heart, I needed to break free. I had to free my soul from that sinner. Oh, of course I knew how he really was. That angelic act...The perfect mask behind the demon who was eating me alive. I knew him very well, yet...I had sold my soul to the devil. 

I couldn't take it back now. The devil doesn't go back...Neither will I, so I will outrun him. Make him fall for me more...until he is insane about it...How can I when he was the first to conquer my heart and mark me forever his? I love him, of course, maybe it's more than obsession, but I receive his love as well. 

And in the lonely nights, I'd give anything to have that soft skin over mine, that delicious taste inside my mouth, melting like liquid sugar, passing through my veins like electric shocks and poisoning me again. Again. With lust and pleasure. Desire and affection. Tossing and Turning. How can one escape this trap? This endless hole where you keep on falling forever and get sank in pure bliss? 

I suppose you don't.

But...why worry when I can have him each time I want? To make him suffer it took just a move. On another...and he was all over the place, begging and screaming, crying in front of me and getting of all those principals and morals. To see that miserable self of his pleading for love and affection, for a touch. It was so simple sometimes to bring him in the last stage of dispair. 

I loved to see those tears rolling off his cheeks and down on mine, that desperate look begging behind that selfish need, those hands gripping on me and asking for my own to take him and mark him, make him mine...How can one refuse such an offer?

How he would threaten to kill everyone and everything just to have me for his own delight, for his own pleasure and how he sometimes coated my neck with his fingers, wrapping them and wrapping them tighter and tighter with each second, while I tried to stay calm and breath normally but of course, it was impossible and sometimes I even got really dizzy and my sight blurred, yet he never went further...he was just a tease at that chapter.

I gues we are both demons. Cheating and lying. Doing everything to hurt each other so each of us becomes so hopeless. Sometimes he wins, sometimes I do, but I never show my weakness in front of him. Acting cold and letting him beg is the best. Crawl for the most in this world. I could give him the one and only pleasure none of those other es could. I could make him scream my name all night long or make him lose himself in a couple of minutes. It's only a question of how much we want to enjoy ourselves.

Selfish or not...he has my heart...and I have his no matter how many mistakes we do, we will never learn, but we will always return to each other. He will always return to me. I will always and forever forgive him because...well because he is the best for me. He is my soul mate, the other dark half as I am his other dark half. 

Love me, hate me, seduce me, defeat me. He does everything related to suffering, but also adoring. He is the best, right? And I am the best too, right? Hate and Love are the most powerful feelings a feeling is capable of bearing and both have the same weight but their signs are opposite, so being able to make someone feel both of them is...wow.

We are artists of love. We perform love for love, for us, we make it so beautifully that it has to be cherished and kept well inside out heart, forever remembered. Like a piece of art, this feelings never dies, the sensation is always there in my body. The warm flickering feeling of love has become one of my senses...like hearing, seeing, feeling...loving is another sense without which I would not be the same anymore. 

I know...

I am sure...

One day he will disappear. 

I won't go crazy, but I will suffer after he leaves me. 

I will never show it, but it will hurt so much inside, so much that I will feel like dying. 

But I am never giving up on this life for someone who wanted just to dominate me. I will probably run after him to bring him back. Yea. Probably. Most probably I won't give up on my life, but I will give in.