So here I am, standing in the middle of the corridor, feeling a bit clueless. I still feel awkward whenever new term starts, because people changes each time after the holiday break. It was only for 2 months but almost everyone changed in every aspect – appearance and personalities.

“Hi Lina!” Jongyun said while waving happily. Introducing, my best friend, Lee Jongyun. She’s loud and a mood maker. She loves to joke around and somehow shy before you know her better. Mind you, when she’s started to explode, you better run for your life first.

“You look pretty today!” She said and smiled sweetly while we’re walking towards our first class. She’s the one who do the talk while I’m usually laughed at every joke she made. We’re busy exchanging stories to one another before someone bumped into me.

My books were everywhere on the floors, not to tell you my papers as well. The person, who’s a guy, ducked down and collected my things. Jongyun then squatted to help him before I joined the team later. The mess was pretty big because I brought many papers today.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. I’m running late now, excuse me,” the guy said before he handed my books and papers back to me. To be honest, I’m a really timid person especially when it comes to guys. But, wow, tell you what, this guy looks so fine, I couldn’t help but to stare at him till I can no longer see him.

“He’s Kim Jongin, taking Computer Science as well. And he’s our junior,” Jongyun blurted, maybe she noticed that I was staring at him just now.

“Why did you tell me about him? I don’t even ask anything—“ I replied while we’re quicken our pace as we’re running late as well.

“Because I’m your friend; I know how you react,” Jongyun coolly answered before she took her seat as soon as we arrived to our class.

Kim Jongin eh? I’m looking forward about your introduction in our faculty’s grand meeting later.

* * * * * * * * * *

It’s the night that I’ve been waiting for. Our faculty’s grand meeting, where we, the seniors, will meet the juniors and are free to ask any questions to them. It has been a week after the incident, and I kind of miss to see his handsome face again.

I sat at the middle of the hall with Jongyun, and I was looking around to find for him. Why did our seniors ask them to wear uniformed attires though, it made my effort became useless :(

The introduction session started. One by one did their introduction, and some were asked stupid questions. I kept quiet, because all I’m waiting for was that cute guy named Kim Jongin. Jongyun, on the other hand, was noisy asking questions that only can be heard by herself and people around her.

40 people had already introduced themselves and more were going to do it, but I felt tired to look for him in the crowd. I played around with my phone, changing the theme several times and even changed the ringtone. Because I was bored and gave up in hunting him in the crowd; that’s why.

“Lina! Look up now!” Jongyun nudged me on the ribs. I’m a bit ticklish so automatically, I raised my head and baaamm, all I can see was that beautiful face of someone unexpectedly younger than me, Kim Jongin.

“Hello, I’m Kim Jongin from Seoul. I love playing computer games and dancing,” his voice was shaking – maybe he’s easily feel nervous like me as well. Aw, he’s so cute!

“Handsome boy!”

      “Show us a dance!”

Seniors were bullying him, and of course, showing your talent is like a MUST thing to do when you’re a freshie. I looked at him, who’s feeling so nervous and dumbfounded, shook his hands several times as he didn’t know what to do.

“SHOW US POPPING!” Jongyun suddenly screamed, and everyone in the hall shifted their gaze towards us, means I’m included as well.

“Made your work easier for you,” Jongyun whispered, as she knew I love to dance as well.

And why do I feel a bit regretted to expose all the inner me to her when no one else knows about my favourite things or anything… Lol just kidding I love you Jongyun if you ever read this.

“Popping? Well, okay…” Jongin then put down the mic, and popping. OH MY GOD HE LOOKS SO FINE SERIOUSLY IT’S UNDESCRIBEABLE IN WORDS BUT HE LOOKS SUPER NICE OMG---

This time, I knew it; I’m already in love with him.

* * * * * * * * * *

I’m walking alone to the bank as Jongyun went out for a date with a senior named Luhan. He’s pretty but weirdly handsome as well. Still, I only have Jongin in my heart. And surprisingly, the bank is empty, because it’s usually packed with people especially on weekends.

I went to the the most right ATM and doing my job there before I felt like someone was walking towards the other ATM machine on my left. I took a glance, noticing it’s a guy before I turned again. IT’S THAT HANDSOME JUNIOR!!! “Stay calm, Lina. Stay calm,” I murmured to myself. Why did I talk to myself when I’m in front of someone that I like…? OTL

“Hello, Lina… noona? You’re my senior right?” Jongin said while smiling sweetly. I nodded before excusing myself because I’m done. Deep in my heart, I was spazzing because he knows my name and he knows about my existence in this world—Oh yes, he bumped into me before, maybe he remembers my face because of that. /insert all frustration feelings/

I walked away when he got more things to say. I don’t even know why I’m being so awkward to him but the best thing is to walk away from him as fast as I could. Let me tell you briefly about myself, I have low self-esteem especially when it’s related to guys.

I seriously think that I looked below average, that I’m fat, that no one wants me. I envy those who’re pretty, those who’re easily get guys around them, those who’re super confident about how they look. I wish I could be like them, but no, I couldn’t though how much I tried.

Jongyun always encourages me to confess to Jongin as he gained more and more fans each day – he even gets more noona fans. I feel jealous; especially those who get to interact with him. I really want to have a long conversation with him, to know him even more, but I’m shy. What if he didn’t want to be friend with me? I’m not pretty, I’m not rich, I’m… nothing. I’m just a girl named Choi Lina.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Are you writing about you’re useless again in your diary?” Jongyun’s sudden appearance seriously shocked me to death. How I wish she’d appear like normal person.

“No, I didn’t!” I quickly closed my book. It’s not a diary actually but Jongyun always mistook it as a diary for a reason I don’t even know why. I tried so hard to convince her that I’m not even though I did write about that, why she’s so brilliant OTL what is life getting a friend like this…

She rolled her eyes before she said, “When are you going to get ready? The dinner’s going to start in 30 minutes! Hurry up and go change to your attire!” I nodded and quickly went to my room to change. “Don’t forget to wow Jongin with your appearance later!” Jongyun screamed from next door, only making me blushing so much. I hate you Jongyun…

I wore the simplest thing ever but the most glitzy among me and Jongyun. Mine was sparkly and shiny while Jongyun chose to wear pastel. Friends were praising me that I looked pretty, which I rejected completely because they sounded like a tease to me. Lina? Pretty? Does that even suit together...

“Can you write your name here?” Wu Fan, our senior, suddenly shoved a book towards my face and handed me a pen.

Dumbfounded, I asked, “Why do I need to write my name? Did I do something wrong?” Earning a string of laughter from Jongyun. I glared at her before I turned to face Wu Fan again.

“Just write your name because Mr. Jung asked for it,” he then pointed to our lecturer who’s standing at the back of the hall. Still confused, I blankly wrote my name and he left, went to other people.

"Why did he ask for my name again?" I asked Jongyun.

"Maybe for the representatives of each part lol I don't really know. Eat fast, the performances are going to start soon," Jongyun replied with foods full in . 

The dinner started few minutes later with performances from all parts. It started with juniors – Part 1 and Part 3, and continued with Part 4 and Part 5. I prefer to sit among the audiences so I could enjoy the performances.

“You know what,” Jongyun paused to take a sip of her drink, “I heard that the next performance is a dance solo of Jongin.”

“Why do you—“ I couldn’t even get to continue before Jongyun butted in, “Because I know you’re waiting for it.”

After the performance ended, I waited patiently for the next one which is Jongin’s, according to Jongyun. The whole hall went dark and several girls were panicked because of it before there’s a spot light shone on the only person who’s standing on the stage – it’s Kim Jongin.

Suddenly, EXO-K’s My Lady was playing and he started to dance.

She's ma babe

새하얀그손끝에

[Saehayan keu son kkeute]

녹아버린쵸코라떼

[Nuk-abeorin choko latte]

you’re walking into my door

좀더널내게보여줘(don’t lie) 솔직해진다면(gonna be easy)

[Jom deo neolge boyeojwo (don’t lie) soljik-hi jindamyeon (gonna be easy)]

단한번도느낄수없던달콤한하모니

[Dan hanbeondo neukkil su eobdeon dalkeomhan hamoni]

don't be too late

//translation because I'm nice\\

She's ma babe

Those pure white finger tips

Melted choco latte

You’re walking into my door

Show me a little more of yourself (don't lie)

If we're/you're/I'm honest (gonna be easy)

Not even once have I felt this sweet harmony

Don't be too late

He was smiling all the time, so tell me how can I not fall for him every single time? There were sounds of girls screaming for his name and somehow, it irks me. Or maybe, I’m overly jealous because I was sitting there, immersing myself with his performance and danced along a bit. Jongyun recorded him dancing so I could copy it from her later.

After the dance ended, Jongin walked towards the microphone stand, still smiling widely before he said, “Actually, I want to confess now, is it okay?” He stopped and turned to the seniors and lecturers who attended. Confirming that he could do so, he then continued, “The dance I perform just now is for someone who I like. I know she’s here somewhere in this hall, so to that person, I love you,” he stopped awhile, because girls were raging to know the identity.

My face turned red, I don’t know why but I knew it. I lost the game. I was about to start, but no, he ended by game abruptly. He likes someone else. I got no chance…

“It could be nicer if that noona can be on the same stage with me, I heard she loves to dance as well,” he continued, and his words taken me aback.

A noona? Loves to dance…? I turned to Jongyun, trying to look if she’s smiling cunningly but no, she didn’t.

“Did you tell Jongin anything about me?” I whispered, didn’t want the rest to know about my feelings towards him. Jongyun simply shook her head, "Do you think he knows me?" and hushed me as Jongin was about to talk more.

“Should I give you guys some clue?” Jongin continued again, before he squinted his eyes and nose, screaming, “CL noona, I love you!” he quickly ran towards backstage afterwards.

CL? Chaerin? I looked at Chaerin who likes Jongin as well. She was smiling proudly, taking that Jongin was proposing her.

“Obviously not Chaerin, don’t worry,” Jongyun said again, and almost made my heart dropped to the floor. Did I tell you that I wish she could appear like a normal person before?

“She can’t even dance, so yeah,” Jongyun stopped. I looked at her weirdly. This girl surely is suspicious right now…

After the dinner finished, Jongyun texted me that she wanted to meet me at backstage. I suspected nothing, so I left the table and walked towards the backstage. It was quiet – there’s no one else besides me. I was cursing Jongyun in my heart before I heard a familiar voice from behind.

“Choi Lina… noona?”