Now that he is much closer, his face is put on my clear focus. It was just how I remembered it—still a knock-out, a breathless knock-out. His eyes that almost betrayed what his mouth didn't speak of were still set deep and dark under thick, playful eyebrows. His nose, thin and strongly chiseled, held under it a smile that was and is paradoxically innocent. That smile on that mouth is capable of fatal things. I should be used to it by now, really, since I still get glimpses of him every now and then, during ASAP, some celebrity functions and of course, I used to hold that face, kiss it and feel it... and that face used to love me.

     Far beyond the cameras, there’s nothing much going on. Our schedules rarely overlap and we haven’t had much communication. Being busy hasn’t helped much to our situation either. We’re at the height of our careers and we’re definitely having more than fifteen minutes of fame. It’s just right for us to take care of it. I keep in touch with Auntie Vangie every now and then, though. Once, she said they missed me, even Gerald, but I doubted it because there hasn’t been any improvement between us.

     At first, we tried to maintain the friendship after the breakup—I couldn’t help it but I secretly hoped that we’ll get back together after all the crisis and pain—but the management had prepared different paths for the both of us. I kept walking and walking, not noticing that Gerald was nowhere to be seen anymore. We’ve drifted apart. It was heartbreaking, far more heartbreaking than the breakup. He wasn’t just a lover; he was a piece of me. It’s sad that I can’t do anything about it when I’m capable of pretty much anything to make things better but there’s something holding me back. Fear, maybe? Fear for what? I don’t know yet. And the fact that Gerald, himself, doesn’t do anything about it either dissuades my notion.

     I don’t notice that Gerald’s handler, Nhila, was hugging me until I felt her kiss on my cheek. “How’re you doing, Kim?” she greets.

     “I’ve been good,” I answer with a smile. Nhila is another person I kept in touch with since she and Portia are the best of friends.

     “Bet you have. You’re Kim Chiu,” she says, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

     I laugh in response, my eyes drifting off to where Gerald is. He's greeting everyone around the room. Once everyone settles in, Gerald takes the seat across me. As he sits down, he catches me watching him. He smiles but I swiftly look away. The back of my ears and neck heats up again.

     “Nice of you to all come,” Jose welcomes. “Today, we’ll do story-con. I’m gonna narrow things down for all of you to understand. Kim Chiu and Gerald Anderson will be the lead of this movie. Kim, please say your opening remarks about this movie and working with Gerald.”

     “Yes, of course, Jose,” I start, sounding professional. “These past two years, I’ve been doing multiple movies ranging from different leading men to different themes and I’ve grown to enjoy it a lot. Being back in the big screen with Gerald Anderson, no less, is such an absolute honor." I nod towards Gerald who is slightly smiling.

     “Gerald, your remarks?”

     “It’s a much bigger honor to be working with you again, Ms. Kim Chiu,” states Gerald, leaning towards me. He is looking me straight in the eyes and his voice is so formal and polite. He's smiling, politely yet slyly. “It’s been a long time since we last worked so I am genuinely looking forward to be working with you again, especially in the big screen.  I am excited for this movie.”

     “That’s nice, you guys.—Okay, so I, Jose Javier Reyes, will direct this movie and it’s a pleasure to be working with Kim and Gerald again. I remember the last time we all worked together. ‘Til My Heartaches End, right? Yes, yes. That was really something, doing that movie, y’know,” he comments, pausing a bit as if his mind is on something else, “I wonder how this one will go.—Anyway, the play date for this movie is on August 18, 2013. That’s eighty days from now and I think that’s enough time for this movie. We'll have first day of shooting next week. Photoshoot for publicity photos should come soon after. And Kim?”

     “Yes?”

     “Did Portia tell you about how the Kim-Sam publicity is gonna be done for this movie?”

     “Um, yes.”

     “Could you share it to us?”

     “Uh, yes. My publicist arranged some press people to interview me during one of my tapings... is that today, Portia?” I ask, turning to Portia.

     “Yes.”

     “Oh. So yeah, press people will interview me during my taping with Sam today. I’ll break the news in about Gerald taking the lead and then Sam and I will, uh, er, share more about our... relationship... I guess,” I state, all the while avoiding Gerald whose eyes, I could feel burning on me. For some reason, I’m finding it uncomfortable to say what I just said.

     “Alright, sounds good. Now, back to the movie." Jose pauses. "We’re taking on a classic here; evolving relationships. Basically, the plot is ex-sweethearts reunited."

     “Well, that rings a bell,” someone declares out of nowhere. Somehow, I feel like hiding. I dare not meet Gerald's eyes.

     “The romance will bring the drama but slight comedy will lighten it up,” Jose continues. “So this is a not-so-heavy drama but not too light either. I guess you could say that it starts out light then gets heavier and heavier.”

     Jose kept talking and talking but I couldn’t concentrate. Even if I'm not looking, I could still feel Gerald’s eyes on me and it’s making paranoid. For the next half hour, as Jose explains the script and plot, I wouldn't let my eyes catch any glimpse of Gerald, focused or not, but every now and then, I’d feel his eyes on me.

     Mustering enough courage, I look at Gerald. He is looking back at me. His face is serious, all playfulness gone. It's as if he's analyzing me, looking for something in me. I couldn’t quite put it but there is something in his look that made me think ‘predator.’ Then his expression changes in a blink of an eye. All politeness and playfulness comes back. He smiles at me and then... he winks at me.

     I look away but I could feel myself smiling.

     When the meeting finishes, I hurry out to the room. Next on my schedule is taping with Sam. As I walk down the hallway with Portia by my side, I hear someone sprinting behind me. The next thing I know, Gerald is walking along with me.

     “Hey, Kim,” he greets.

     “I’m gonna... go on ahead, okay, give you two some privacy,” Portia cuts in.

     “Thanks, Portia,” Gerald says with a smile.

     “Portia!” I shout to her but she’s already walking fast ahead. My feet are itching to catch up and walk along with her but I hold back. I don’t want to be rude to Gerald.

     “So,” Gerald begins. “How’ve you been?”

     “I’ve been doing well.”

     “That’s good,” he nods and nods.

     “Yeah. How have you been?” I ask, turning to look at him for a second. It was enough to feel the daintiness of his strong and striking good looks.

     “It’s been great. Having the time of my life. I’m pretty sure you are, too. And, mom is really happy about you and me working again. She misses you a lot, you know,” he replies, gently elbowing me.

     “Well, I miss her, too. Tell her I said ‘hi,’” I respond.

     “Will do.” Right then, we reach the front lobby. My ride is waiting outside.

     “My ride’s here. I have to head out,” I tell him.

     “Me, too. Well, take care,” he answers. Right before I walk out, he gently touches my back, maybe even rubbed it.

     “Gerald!” someone shouts. I turn around and had to impulsively get out of the way quick or Haidi would've literally run me over. She practically jumps onto Gerald with her arms spread wide. Good thing that Gerald is strong enough to stop her momentum.

     “Oh, Haidi, missed you so much.” Gerald tightens his arms around Haidi just as she does.

     Haidi sighs, “It’s your fault, boy. You never visit my little girl over here.” She gestures towards me.

     Gerald shrugs in reply. His face is unreadable. I look down shyly. Haidi wraps her arms around Gerald once more. It looks like she is crushing him.

     “Haidi, Haidi. Stop, Haidi,” I loosen her arms from Gerald and mutter a ‘sorry’ to him.

     “It’s fine,” he replies. “If it’s Haidi, it’s all good.” He playfully pinches Haidi’s cheek and Haidi squeals. Oh, God.

     “Well, we have to go, Gerald. It’s really nice to see you again,” I say, grabbing Haidi next to me.

     “You, too. Take care, okay, Kim?” He holds my arm. It’s as if he’s pleading.

     I smile to him and nod. We walk away but not before Haidi waved bye to him like a little girl.

     Once the car starts moving, Haidi bursts. “’It’s really nice to see you again’?" she repeats my words. "You didn’t even wanna work with him in the first place!”

     “I’m just being professional, remember? I want to show him, show them, that I got everything under control,” I answer.

     “Oh, yeah. You’re so professional. I couldn’t even tell that you were so love-struck when he touched your arm and said ‘take care, okay, kim,’ with incredibly bright eyes because you’re so flipping professional,” she says, “And I hope you know I’m being sarcastic.”

     “Oh, shut up, Haidi. I wasn’t love struck. God, no,” I snicker.

     “Fool me all you want but I know you, Kim Chiu. I’ve memorized every little trick and weakness you’ve got.”

     I scorn at her.

     Once we reach the set, we started unpacking. I immediately look for Sam. He's in one of the tents. “Sam!” I run over to him and give him a hug.

     “Kimmy, I missed you,” he says, tightening his arms around me.

     “Missed you, too,” I reply. We stood there, our arms entwined with each other, for the longest time. It was sweet. He kisses my forehead. Then suddenly I feel hands breaking our sweet moment. Haidi was loosening my grip on Sam.

     “Sorry, but we have to start taping,” Haidi states a little too bluntly.

     “Excuse us for a second,” I say to Sam, holding up a finger.  I grab Haidi onto the side and whisper to her, “Rude much? Do you not like Sam?”

      “I love Sam, really... but sorry, I love Gerald more. I’m Team Gerald all the way! Go, go Team Gerald!” Haidi expresses, raising her fists in the air.

     “You’re so weird. And I thought we already talked about this. Gerald’s far gone. You even gave me a tip on the professionalism thing to show that I’m over him, remember?”

     “That was to get you working with Gerald, again,” she replies blankly.

     “Read my lips, Haidi. Gerald and me? Never again.”

     “Kim Chiu, talk to my hand!” she replies with great passion and then walks away from me.

     I sigh.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

I AM CHANGING THE TITLE OF THIS STORY TO 'PARADOX.' I'm not gonna do it right now. I'll do it when I post Chapter 5 so that'll give the people time know of this change.

And I promise to explain why they broke up but for now, it's a secret.