EIGHT.

“Hyukjae?” Hyoyeon calls, picking her way through the garage, her arms full of posters. The shop is almost ready, and Hyoyeon wants Hyukjae to decide which posters they will put up. She creaks open the office door, but as she steps inside she finds the place absolutely barren. The cups are gone, Hyukjae’s bag is gone, and he himself is missing.

“Hyukjae?” Hyoyeon shouts, going out to the yard towards the scrap pile, but he is not there either.

“Hyukjae, are you here? Come on out!”

“Hyukjae, this isn’t funny, come out now!”

“Hyukjae, please, stop playing, I’ve got stuff to show you!”

“Hyukjae, just drop the act!”

“Hyukjae?”

Hyoyeon runs through the streets, searching for him, going to all the places they have ever been together, but there is no trace of him. She tells herself to calm down, that he is a grown adult, and that there is no way he can just disappear, but she remembers the empty office, and her heart sinks. Her last stop is the restaurant, and as she throws open the door Suzy and Victoria both look up, startled.

“Hey, Hyo!” Victoria says.

“Have you guys seen Hyukjae?”

“Nope. Isn’t he at the garage?”

“He isn’t! All his stuff is gone, I’ve been searching for him for an entire day and he isn’t anywhere to be found!”

A dark cloud crosses Victoria’s face, and she turns away. Hyoyeon notices the change in mood, and she grabs hold of Victoria’s hand, a kind of cold creeping up on her.

“Vic? Do you know where he is?”

Victoria shakes her head.

“Do you know what happened,then?”

“I can’t, Hyo, I can’t.”

“Victoria! What’s going on?! I’m going mad, he’s disappeared without a trace, you’ve got to tell me something!”

“I can’t, I’m sorry, you’re better off not knowing,” Victoria says, breaking away, tears in her eyes.

“Victoria!”

“I just knew it would come to this, I knew it.”

“Victoria, please!”

“If you won’t tell her, I will.”

“Suzy?”

“How do you know?”

“I overheard you and Hyukjae the other day, I heard everything, Victoria. I didn’t know if it was true, but I know it is now.”

“Suzy, please, I need to know.”

“Vic, you should tell her.”

Victoria looks from Hyoyeon and Suzy, and finally she sighs, collapsing onto the nearest table. “Alright, it’s a long tale, sit down you guys.”

The pair sits down, Hyoyeon’s fingernails digging into the flesh of the table, and Victoria begins her tale. “You know how I’ve always told you guys I have an estranged brother? We’re not really estranged, but he’s just serving time.”

“In prison?” Suzy asks.

“No, with a gang.”

“A gang?!”

“Guys, listen. My dad was a gangster, and my mum was the girl of a gangster, and my brother was a gangster, too. My father, he had owed this particular group a fair amount of debt, but hadn’t paid them back when he went and got himself shot. My brother didn’t have enough money, of course, so he offered himself to them instead. If he worked for them for four years, they’d let him off the hook.”

“Work for him?” Hyoyeon asks warily.

“Drugs, mostly,” Victoria says, tired.

There is a sharp gasp from both girls.

“And Hyukjae,” Hyoyeon says, closing her eyes shut.

“Listen. I know who Hyukjae is, before you even knew him. When you first brought him in here, I tthought you got mixed up in a gang, that’s why I was so shocked. When I used to hang around my brother’s gang, Hyukjae was one of his gang mates, and he sure didn’t know me, but I knew him. There was this one time, though, that Hyukjae betrayed them, went and joined another group in the middle of the gang fight, and that’s unforgivable. Hyukjae knows it, he knows it all too well, and he’s going to have to pay time, too. This whole time about being homeless, it’s just , he’s on the move, running from them, but he stayed too long this time, Hyo, enough for them to track him down, what with him getting a job and all.”

“He stayed for me,” Hyoyeon says, her face in her hands.

“I’m so sorry, I know I should have told you, but he loved you so much and he begged me not to say anything. He said he could work out something, and he was so convincing, but, I guess he met them too early,” Victoria whispers. “I knew you loved him, Hyo, but I didn’t want you to get hurt, either.”

“That’s why you always told me to be so careful.”

“I’m so, so sorry.”

“God, god,” Hyoyeon says, her world spinning, crashing down in front of her. “How long?”

“Whatever years he left them for,” Victoria says.

“That’s four or five freaking years!”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying you’re sorry, damn it, Victoria! Isn’t there any way to get him out of there?”

“If someone else pays time for him.”

Hyoyeon’s head snaps up, and then Victoria is backtracking, recognizing the desperate look in her eyes.

“Hyo, hyo, it’s only men, you can’t do it.”

“It’s just delivering drugs, how hard can it be?”

“Hyo, shut up, you can’t do this.”

“Vic’s right, Hyo, please don’t do anything rash.”

“Here, look, he said to give you this if anything happened, so, I suppose I should give it to you now,” Victoria says, rising and going to unlock a drawer, drawing out a thick envelope.

“I’m sorry, again,” Victoria says quietly, and then puts her hand on Suzy’s shoulder, wanting to allow Hyoyeon her peace.

Hyoyeon is having a terrible headache, she feels like this has all been a bad joke. Things are happening far too fast, like a jam packed action movie, with a fast forwarded option. Everything seems like a bad dream, but Hyoyeon knows no matter how hard she wills herself to wake, this nightmare is not going away. She pours herself a glass of water and sips it slowly, trying to calm herself down, when inside her she is a wreck of panic, her emotions tumbling over one another frantically. She reminds herself she needs to have clear head if she wants to help Hyukjae, and shakily, she opens the envelope. There are several shafts of paper and a roll of bills. But Hyoyeon is not interested in the money, and she hurriedly unfolds the sheets of paper.

Dear Miss Kim,

If you are reading this letter, it must mean that I must be gone, and even know as I sit here writing this it breaks my heart that I should be so far from you.

Hyoyeon lets the paper fall to the table, unable to read on, for it tears at her heart that she might never see Hyukjae again, that these few months have all been a huge, fat lie. But she has to read on, she has to know what exactly happened, so, gathering up every ounce of courage she has, she picks up the papers again.

I never meant to hurt you, Hyoyeon, and although you might scoff I’m telling the truth, the past few months with you have been some of the best in my life. You make me go crazy with every touch, and all I want to do is lie with you and watch the sky fairies. But I can’t do that, Hyo, I’m sorry. When I told you how I became blonde, I just meant it as a friendly story, I never knew I would fall head over heels in love with you. But you see, the world where I come from is scarier than you can imagine, and as I presume Victoria must have now told you, I have time to pay.

I am so, so sorry, Hyo, I never meant for it to turn out like this, but I thought I could just keep running away forever. But I meant what I said about keeping you, about providing for you, and I knew I couldn’t do all that if we had to keep moving, with no stable income and no stable home. I tried, for your sake, and I’ve been hoping all this while that it might work out, but if you are reading this right now then I must suppose it hasn’t happen the way I wanted it to. I’m a jerk, I know, I’m a huge jerk for lying to you all this time, but I couldn’t tell you, I really couldn’t, because I was afraid you would leave me, would despise me.

That’s how much I love you, Hyoyeon, I don’t want to lose you, but I suppose I already lost you a long time ago when I started lying to you. In the envelope is the remaining money I have, may it help you in your future business. I’m glad that, at least, I was able to buy the shop for you, to help you fulfil one of your wishes. The instalments aren’t very much, and if I can I’ll send whatever money I get from the gang to you. You must hate me now, I know, but I will never stop loving you until the day I die.

If whatever I have done seems like a lie to you, please don’t doubt my love for you. It shines true, and it shines strong, and you are, truly, the best thing that has happened to me. If you will wait for me, and give me a second chance, and if I am still alive by then, I swear I will love you with the utmost ferocity I have in my being, I will love you so hard, and twice as better. I wish I could have known you better and let you know me better, but between the both of us, it’s been amazing knowing you, and I hope for you it’s been a journey knowing Hyukjae, knowing me.

Loving you always,
Lee Hyukjae

Hyoyeon feels her heart constrict painfully in her chest, twisting and snarling until it is so painful she feels like her chest will burst. She scraped back her chair, her back arched, and then she is screaming, so loudly the window panes actually tremble. Her tears come, thick and fast, and she is wrecking the restaurant, overturning chairs and tables, until Victoria and Suzy come rushing out of the pantry, bewildered by this new Hyoyeon.

Victoria rushes to Hyoyeon, pinning her arms behind her as Hyoyeon screams and wails, her cries heart-wrenching. Victoria forces back her tears, trying to calm Hyoyeon down, backing her into a chair and instructing Suzy to get a glass of water. But Hyoyeon only stares blankly in front, ignoring their presence. Her eyes are glassy, her being like a statue, and neither Victoria nor Suzy can get through her.

All of a sudden, Hyoyeon springs from the chair, and then she is out of the restaurant, running and running, oblivious to her friends’ cries. She doesn’t know where she is headed, but she just runs, like how Hyukjae had once pulled her with him. Fresh tears run down her cheeks, and she runs and runs and runs, unwilling to stop, needing to continue on.

Tell me, Lee Hyukjae, did I ever know you?
 

. . .

I did warn you guys there would be a change ;A; OhItsYing, yes, that's the beauty of their relationship! ^^ Yay, hyohuk ftw! penny0922, that actually sounded really poetic! mooeysmiley, you never fail to flatter me, honestly, thank you so much m'dear, I am so blessed to have a reader like you! ^^ Ame-chan, your username is so cute! Thank you very much, I'm glad you think that way ^^ maxjibong, you'll see, very very soon! You liked it? Yippee! Awwwwwh that made me smile so much thank you very much!! LonelyStar25, you're too kind, I'm so fortunate to have your input and feedback, I love you! saymyname, thank you, dearie! wheeee, well, there can't be a story without conflict, right? Life isn't a bed of roses after all, hahaha! ^^ her-reality, I always smile so darn much when I read your comment, I love you as much as bees love honey, and more! A wish come true? That felt so magical, like Disneyland - that should be their new slogan hahaha! /sings lovey lovey dovey oh-oh-oh-oh No don't cry, please don't cry! You have given me so much support, I can't even. Thank you so much. LollZipopZo, Oh my, I like your babbling, I think about that kind of stuff all the time too, so don't hesitate to share everything with me! ^^ I want soft carpets or wooden flooring for my shop 8D Sica, you are so beautiful, blessing me with your wonderful words ^^ Kiss scenes? I am actually running out of inspiration for them, but I guess when the feeling is there the writing comes naturally! I am always in love with you <3