“So… you know now, don’t you? That Kyungsoo-yah is… pregnant?”

Jongin remained silent at the question thrown at him, refusing to make an effort to respond. In front of him was a crumbled up envelope taunting and jeering at him: the pregnancy blood test results. Everything that occurred after the incident at the teacher’s parking lot was nothing but a vast blur to Jongin.

As soon as the young Junior had spotted Kyungsoo’s unconscious state, he went into immediate panic. Almost instantly, Jongin had frantically begun calling out the other’s name and simultaneously shaking him; desperately trying to get a reaction from the other. But no response had come, which caused Jongin to gently scoop up Kyungsoo and bolt his way back into the cafeteria.

Without a second thought, Jongin had shouted Baekhyun’s name; paying no attention to the other students as he urged the other male to get someone to call the ambulance. Jongin knew that taking Kyungsoo to the nurse’s office would not have been effective, especially since Kyungsoo was with child. The nurse would have simply admitted him to the infirmary and leave the elder Junior lying on the bed until he’d wake up.

Child

It was then that Jongin had remembered that Kyungsoo was pregnant. Pregnant with his child, and that did nothing but worsen his panicking. After Kyungsoo’s figure had come into Jongin’s peripheral vision back at the parking lot, the latter had immediately forgotten about the positive blood test results. His first priority was Kyungsoo and his state of health. Though it had not been his first time seeing him faint, knowing that the cause of the others was due to the baby currently in Kyungsoo’s womb had made witnessing it much more painful.  Because not only did Jongin have one life in his hands at the moment, but two. And the young teen had no idea how he felt about that.

It had felt like hours passed by before the school nurse and the ambulance staff came rushing through the doors of the cafeteria, though at the time it had realistically only been about eight minutes. In those moments, Kyungsoo was still unconscious, and Jongin had been sure he was about to hyperventilate. He had wanted nothing more but for the former to wake up, to give him in a sign that he was going to be okay. But there had been nothing, and Jongin couldn’t help but feel terror strike him. At that point, the students who were at occupying the cafeteria had begun intensely gossiping amongst one another. Whispers of ‘what’s wrong?’ and ‘do you think it’s serious?’ had circulated the area, but Jongin didn’t care. If their words weren’t going to wake up Kyungsoo, he didn’t care.

‘Kyungsoo hyung, please wake up. You have to wake up,’ Jongin had remembered pleading as he yearned for any sign of consciousness from the other before he was hauled away by the medics. But again there had been nothing; and it wasn’t long before Kyungsoo was wheeled into the ambulance truck, Jongin tailgating them in hopes of being able to ride with them.

And now here Jongin was, sitting at Asan Medical Center’s café alongside Baekhyun and Chanyeol; the couple having arrived shortly after the younger teenager on Chanyeol’s motorcycle after receiving permission from the school’s principal.

The youngest of the three merely nodded at the question previously directed towards him, still in shock at both the information shared with him, and of the events that occurred soon after. Jongin wasn’t sure of how to deal with the whole ordeal; it was still all too much to take in. Kyungsoo, the male who Jongin had been chasing since Freshman year, and has been dating for the past six weeks, was currently pregnant with his child. Kyungsoo, a sixteen year old teenage male was pregnant. And Jongin, who was also a sixteen year old male, was the father. That alone made Jongin’s stomach churn in fear.

The concept of a pregnant male was strange, foreign even, in Jongin’s eyes. Such a notion was extremely rare in South Korea; only being heard of in more open nations like North America. Jongin wasn’t naïve; he knew this would cause problems for them, especially for Kyungsoo. Not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally. Was Jongin truly ready for that? Was he, a sixteen year old male, ready to deal with all of the baggage that was to come with having a pregnant boyfriend? No, he wasn’t ready. They weren’t ready. And Jongin wasn’t sure if they’d ever be ready. The changes, the responsibilities, the rumors, the ostracization; it’d simply be too much for them to deal with. He wasn’t ready to take on such a responsibility. He wasn’t ready to be a father.

“So… what are your thoughts? What are you going to do?” questioned Baekhyun, circling his index finger against the rim of his glass of orange juice. The older male stared at the younger intently, as if attempting to squeeze a response out of him with just a simple look.

But Jongin simply shrugged, completely unsure of how to answer the other’s questions. What was he going to do? Back when he thought Kyungsoo was conscious, he had told the elder male that he would take responsibility. But was he really going to? Was he really going to throw away his teenage years to take care of a child, when he himself was one? To Jongin, having a child was definitely the last thing on his ‘to-do’ list, especially at the young age of sixteen. He was supposed to be enjoying his youth; hanging out and playing around with his friends before the stress of Senior year and college entrance exams came tumbling on them. So was he really going to go through this? After much thought, the answer soon became clear.

Yes

He was going to go through this. He was going to take responsibility. And he was going to be a father. Not because he felt forced to do so, but because he wanted to. Because it was his child; it was his child with Kyungsoo. And although Jongin wasn’t raised to impregnate anyone at such an age, let alone a male, he was raised to take responsibility for his actions. Jongin wasn’t stupid, nor was he comparable to those stereotypical males who’d either immediately vanish from their partner’s lives after discovering they’re pregnant, or would accuse the baby of being someone else’s. Jongin knew; he knew that the baby Kyungsoo was presently carrying was his. Was his flesh and blood. And he was going to take full responsibility of the life that he helped make, ready or not. And that answer and those thoughts pleased him.

Baekhyun, however, was not pleased as he interpreted the shrug received from Jongin as a dismissal of the subject rather than an honest gesture of uncertainty.  The elder Junior scoffed, a slight look of disbelief etching across his face before he emotionlessly glanced at the male in front of him. “This isn’t a damn joke, Jongin-ah. This is serious.”

“And you think I don’t know that?” Jongin lowly retaliated, not wanting others to overhear. He sneered, unable to believe that Baekhyun was accusing him of treating the manner as though it were nothing but a source of humor. “I’m going to be a father… My boyfriend, two hours ago, gave me results stating that he was pregnant with my child. And then he collapsed. Do you really expect me to be ing coherent right now? ‘Cause I’m not. So don’t you dare accuse me of taking this lightly when you’re not the one with a pregnant, currently unconscious boyfriend Baekhyun!”

Said teen narrowed his eyes at the other, not liking the informal speech used towards him. “Watch your mouth, Jongin.”

Chanyeol, noticing the thick tension growing and spotting Jongin ready to open his mouth to protest, cleared his throat before sighing. “You guys really need to calm down. The last thing Kyungsoo wants to see after waking up is his best friend and his own boyfriend at each other’s throats. It’s no secret that you guys have had your issues, but this isn’t the time to revisit them. And Jongin-ah’s right Baekhyun hyung. He’s going through something life changing; he’s going to be a dad. It’s a lot to take in.”

The tallest male placed his elbows on the table, resting his head in his arms as he roughly ruffled his hair. Though he wasn’t the one going through the predicament, he still felt the stress from it all. When Chanyeol had seen Jongin rushing into the cafeteria with an unconscious Kyungsoo in his arms, he had felt as though all of the oxygen in his body had vanished. Although he and Kyungsoo were not close friends, he still cared for the younger as though they were. The whole ordeal had made Chanyeol extremely nervous, which in turn had caused his usual smile to disappear from his face. Of course, had it been anyone other than Kyungsoo, Chanyeol still would’ve been worried. But it was Kyungsoo, which intensified his state of concern. Not only was he worried for Kyungsoo, he was also worried for Kyungsoo’s unborn. And now that Jongin knew of Kyungsoo’s pregnancy, he was worried for him too.

Baekhyun clenched his lips shut at his boyfriend’s words; annoyed at the fact that the younger male didn’t even try to defend him a little. However, Baekhyun understood the words that Chanyeol had spoken. He knew that any type of dispute between him and Jongin would greatly upset Kyungsoo. But Baekhyun couldn’t help it; he was, to an extent, very protective of Kyungsoo. Having been friends with the latter since preschool, the older of the two always felt some sort of need to be watchful of the other. That need had escalated after the death of Baekbom. At that time, Baekhyun, though only thirteen, had felt as though he had failed to protect his brother. For that reason he had decided that he would, without fail, protect Kyungsoo for as long as he could. Therefore, Baekhyun wouldn’t allow anyone to hurt Kyungsoo; especially Jongin.

Silence engulfed the three teens. Each male had various thoughts swimming in their minds; neither of them rushing to free their inquiries from their prison. However, not even three minutes later, Baekhyun had voiced out a question that had been invading his thoughts since Kyungsoo’s pregnancy had been confirmed. Sitting up straight, the teen asked, “Would you… would you like to keep the baby?”

Jongin deeply exhaled, not really fond of the miniscule interrogation the other male was putting him to. “Listen Baekhyu—”

“I’m asking you a legitimate question, Jongin-ah,” exclaimed Baekhyun, cutting the younger teen off in an attempt to get his point across. Crossing his left leg over the right, the older of the two stared directly into the other’s eyes. “You have a lot going on in your mind, I know that. But this is something you seriously have to think about. When you see Kyungsoo, he’s going to ask you, and you’re going to have to give him an answer.”

“I know that…” Jongin replied, his voice trailing off as he was once again consumed by his own thoughts.

The young teen let a shaky breath whilst hiding his head in his hands. Baekhyun’s question repeatedly pranced around in his head, causing him to ask himself the same: Would he keep the baby? Without a doubt, Jongin was going to take responsibility of the child’s life. Yet be that as it may, for how long was he willing to assume this responsibility? Jongin was fully okay with caring and helping out Kyungsoo during the many months that the baby would be in his womb. But what about after that? Would Jongin still be willing to support both Kyungsoo and the baby for what would practically be a lifetime?

Probably yes

As crazy as the answer would appear to be, especially for a sixteen year old, Jongin wouldn’t mind aiding and embracing his responsibility for the child for as long as his life would allow him. Not only because of the mindset he was raised with, but also because it was his child. He was the father. Even if it meant Jongin having to take a leave from school and focus on getting his first job to help financially, he would still be willing to raise the child together with Kyungsoo. However, with every positive came a negative. And as much as Jongin wanted this to go favorably, it wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be possible. More specifically in Jongin’s case than in Kyungsoo’s. Not because he was sixteen, not because he was irresponsible, and not because he wasn’t ready. But because his parents wouldn’t allow it. 

Jongin had always had a rocky relationship with his parents; more so with his mother than his father. When Jongin had confessed to his parents that he was homoual back when he was in the seventh grade, his mom had gone the stereotypical route that most parents do upon hearing such news: telling her son that it was only a phase and that he’d get over it once he fully matured. Yet, he hadn’t, and his mom had since then began to distance herself away from him. His father on the other hand, had a distinct reaction. Not that he had been fully okay with Jongin’s supposedly ‘change’ in uality, but he had gradually came to accept such a trait in his son.

However, Jongin’s current situation was entirely different. He wasn’t announcing to his parents that he was homoual; he was announcing that he was going to be a father. But not just any father, the father of Kyungsoo’s child. His parents would not only be disappointed in him, they would disown him. It was wrong; for Jongin to be a homoual, for him to be a father at sixteen, for him getting a teenage male pregnant. It was wrong not only to his parents, but to the general population of Korea. Though Jongin didn’t care much about what strangers would think, he did care about his parent’s reaction. And if his mother and father were to strip him from their lives because of all that was occurring, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to fully go through with everything.

Letting out a shaky sigh, Jongin opened his mouth to comment; tears slowly beginning to gather around the rim of his eyes. “My parents… my parents would kill me. They wouldn’t want it. They wouldn’t want me.”

Chanyeol stared at the younger male in front of him, shaking his head in response of the other’s words. “But that’s not the question, Jongin-ah. I know this is a bit… wrong to say, especially in our society, but forget about your parents for the moment. Don’t worry about their wants and needs, but only of your own. Would you like to keep the baby?”

Jongin shuts his eyes tightly, trying his best to hold back his tears. Everything was simply too overwhelming for him. There was no question about it; he didn’t want Kyungsoo to abort the baby. He believed that, despite the pregnancy being a result of their own reckless behavior, the unborn baby deserved to be brought into the world. Parents aside, Jongin would definitely consider raising the baby long term with Kyungsoo. And adoption was an option Jongin was willing to look into. But that was his own view and decision. For all Jongin knew, Kyungsoo could have a completely different outlook on this. Having a child was a two-way street; it takes two to make one, and both parents must be conclude to a mutual agreement. Therefore, Jongin knew what he had to do.

He needed to speak to Kyungsoo.

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Darkness. Darkness was all Kyungsoo saw as his senses slowly began to regain consciousness. The young teen clenched his already closed eyes whilst he tried to move; his body quivering in slight pain. Kyungsoo grunted, his limbs suddenly feeling quite heavy in his current position. He felt uncomfortable overall; a slight wave of nausea hitting his stomach as he attempted to find a suitable posture. But all of his attempts were futile, displeasing the Junior who was rigidly locked into his current position. It was as though Kyungsoo was going through an episode of sleep paralysis, with his body in deep sleep, but his mind fully active. It was a fearful sensation; not being able to physically control your own body.

Internally counting the seconds, Kyungsoo tried to move his eyes in an effort to pry them open. Yet they wouldn’t budge, causing a whimper to escape the teen’s partially parted lips. Kyungsoo wanted nothing more than to wake up; his attention now focusing on attempting to get his fingers to move. But again, they wouldn’t budge. Though it had not been the first time that the young male had fainted, he had never gone through such an ordeal upon regaining consciousness. Then again, the symptoms he had felt immediately prior to his loss of consciousness were also dissimilar to any others he has had. The other times he had fainted, the symptoms were due to the accommodations his body was making in preparation of the changes that were occurring. But this time, the symptoms were a result of something different.

Fear of rejection

Kyungsoo’s symptoms derived from his fear of Jongin rejecting him. Not only him particularly, but also his unborn child. Their unborn child. A whimper slipped through the male’s mouth as the anxiety hit him once again. Gradually, Kyungsoo was regaining control of his own body, his eyes fluttering whilst he attempted to evade the reappearing emotions of fear and anxiousness. Everything that had occurred was coming back to him; from handing Jongin the envelope with the results, to the words the younger male had directed towards him just before his collapse.

‘I can’t… I don’t think I do this hyung. T-This… this can’t be happening. I’m sixteen; we’re sixteen. You c-can’t be pregnant… I… I’m sorry…’

All of it; Kyungsoo had remembered all of it, and at the moment he wished that he hadn’t. He wished he hadn’t remembered that rejection had actually occurred. The rejection he had gotten all worked up for; that had ultimately caused him to be in the dilemma he was presently in: semi-conscious in an unknown place. Slowly, Kyungsoo’s heart rate was increasing and the need to shift his position was intensifying. The Junior moderately moved his fingers; tightly clutching an unfamiliar rough fabric seemingly wrapped around his body. The anxiousness was once again plaguing him; mocking him and sneering at his rejection.

“….ungsoo! Kyungsoo-yah!” Kyungsoo heard faintly, the shouting of his name vaguely processing in his mind. Within seconds, the young male felt someone shaking him; perhaps in an effort to wake him up. And it had worked, because soon after, Kyungsoo eyes had fluttered open.

Kyungsoo looked straight ahead, trying to get a preview of his surroundings before he made any sudden movements. However, all the male saw was a thin figure; one that he knew very well. Weakly, Kyungsoo placed his arms to his side, gently lifting his body to a sitting position despite the pain flowing through his joints. A cloud of dizziness loomed over him, resulting in the male emitting a sharp sigh once he found an appropriate posture. Scanning the room once again, Kyungsoo realized that he was in a hospital room, a comfortably sized one that was about the size of his own bedroom. Apart from the necessarily typical hospital equipment stationed in the room, the confined area was practically bare.

Struggling to inspect any further, Kyungsoo noticed that, besides himself, there was one other person in the room: his mother. The young male continued to reanalyze his environment; trying his hardest to find the one person he needed to see the most: Jongin. But no matter how much he checked, his boyfriend was nowhere to be found. A bitter sadness engulfed Kyungsoo, his heart beat once again picking up its pace with the heart monitor immediately following suit. It wasn’t that Kyungsoo didn’t want to see his mother; that was actually farther than the truth. If there was anyone needed by his side at a time like this, it was his mom. The problem was that Kyungsoo had hoped that Jongin would be there alongside her. Yet he wasn’t, and the realization simply confirmed that his partner’s last words to him were nothing short of a rejection. And such comprehension was chipping away at Kyungsoo’s heart.

“K-Kyungsoo-yah you’re—Oh thank g-goodness, Kyung-ah you’re awake!” His mother gleefully exclaimed, though her words were heavily masked behind her dry sobs. The petite woman guided her hands over to Kyungsoo’s face; her thumbs softly massaging his cheeks. Kyungsoo glanced at her, instantly noticing the fresh and old tears trailing down her face, as well as the rosy pink facial tone of her skin that had most likely resulted from her crying. Letting out a short sob, she wasted no time embracing the sitting boy whilst trying not to smother him. “Kyung… Kyungsoo-yah you’re awake! You’re awake! Oh—Oh goodness I was so s-scared. I was—when I got the c-call I just… You and t-the baby Kyungsoo, I…”

Said male bit his lower lip in desperation, noticing how quickly his mother’s emotions were escalating. Kyungsoo felt helpless, not sure of how to stop her from hyperventilating herself to exhaustion. Burying himself deeper into his mom’s embrace, the Junior tightly clutched the back of the woman’s blouse. With words filled with guilt and watery eyes, Kyungsoo consoled, “Mom… Ma it’s okay—I’m okay, see? I’m… I’m sorry for worrying you. I’m really sorry, so please… please don’t cry, Mom.”

His mother sniffled, rubbing her son on the back before releasing him from her hold. After letting out a shaky breath, she placed her hands on Kyungsoo’s upper arms and flashed him a miniscule smile. “I… I know you’re okay i-it’s just you—The paramedics said you were out of consciousness for about thirteen minutes before waking up. But then you fainted again. I was so scared for you and the b-baby that I panicked. Trust me I’m… I’m just so happy that y-you’re ok. Please don’t blame yourself for anything.”

Kyungsoo returned the smile, bringing his hands to his mother’s face to wipe away a few stray tears that had remained. A brief moment of silence hovered over them; the constant beeping of the heart monitor breaking the silence with every beep. Kyungsoo deeply inhaled, the bitter feeling still flowing through him. With the silence still present, the teen was lulled back into his previous thoughts. Thoughts of Jongin, their unborn, the rejection. Though Jongin had not directly told him that he didn’t want their child, the other’s words made it more than clear. Jongin didn’t want it; he never had. And though Baekhyun told him it didn’t matter, it did. To Kyungsoo it did, and it would always matter to him.

“Kyung-ah… what’s wrong Kyungsoo-yah? Why are you crying?” His mother’s voice questioned, breaking the male from his melancholy thoughts.

The sixteen year old bit the inside of his cheek, repeated opening and closing his mouth before responding. “I-I… I told him.”

His mom furrowed her eyebrows, trying to figure out who her son was talking about, though she had a small idea of who it was. “Who? You told what to who?”

“J-Jongin-ah… I t-told—well, I g-gave him the… the blood test results,” Kyungsoo answered, dragging his arm across his face in an attempt to wipe away his tears. Solemnly, he looked down at his lap while he fidgeted with his fingers. “He… he didn’t want the baby, ma. H-He… he didn’t…”

“What do you mean ‘he didn’t want the baby’?” the woman asked, genuinely confused. “Did he tell you that? He came all the way to the hospital with you. I don’t know why he’d do that if he didn’t want anything to do with the baby or you.”

Kyungsoo slightly froze at his mother’s words. Shakily, he exclaimed, “H-He… he came? Jongin… Jongin came? He’s here?”

“Yes, Kyung-ah, he came here with you and the EMTs in the ambulance. And judging from the call he gave me about two minutes ago, he should still be here with Baekhyun-ah and Chanyeol-ssi.” The petite woman laid her hand on top of Kyungsoo’s hair, combing her fingers through it before giving it a little ruffle. She glanced down at her son, displeased at the information he had given. With a light sigh she interrogated, “Did he really tell you that? That he didn’t want the baby?”

Her son remained silent for a few seconds before replying, “He didn’t… say it directly. From what I remember, he said that he was sorry and that he ‘couldn’t do this’. T-That I… I couldn’t be p-pregnant…”

The woman lightly exhaled, an array of emotions flashing across her face. She herself couldn’t really pinpoint exactly what Jongin had meant with his words. It could be that he truly didn’t want to have any relations with his unborn child; in which Ms. Do would be extremely disappointed with him. However, judging from what Jongin had told her when she had arrived at the emergency center, Kyungsoo had unexpectedly fainted while he was speaking. Therefore, it could’ve been possible that Jongin had said other things, but her son had missed out on hearing them. Either way, there was a crucial amount of miscommunication going on between the two males. And though Kyungsoo’s mother did not want to give Kyungsoo false hope, she did want to give Jongin the benefit of the doubt. Because for as long as she has known him and his joking ways, she wanted to believe that Jongin had at least an ounce of responsibility and maturity in him.

Hushing her son in an attempt to get him to calm down, she gently patted his back. “Although I don’t know Jongin-ah as much as you do, I think you should have a bit more faith in him. You can’t expect him to rapidly accept his role as a father and hop in glee. Think about it rationally; you kids are both sixteen. Having a baby is a huge responsibility, even more so at your age. I know from experience. It’s also a lot to process. One moment you’re worrying about what to eat for lunch, then the next you’re being told that you’re going to be a dad. It’s tough. And you did faint while he was speaking. So give Jongin a little trust, alright? At least he didn’t push you away for being a pregnant male; not everyone would accept that.”

Kyungsoo nodded, sniffling away the rest of his tears. His mother was right, he needed to give Jongin the benefit of the doubt. People change, thoughts change, feelings change. And instead of Jongin ridiculing him—calling him every derogatory word in existence for being pregnant as a male, he focused on the true problem: the pregnancy itself. That’s not to say that Jongin wasn’t curious; he probably wanted to know more than anything how Kyungsoo was able to get pregnant. Yet, Jongin didn’t male that his top priority, and Kyungsoo was internally grateful. Still, none of this managed to repel the doubt Kyungsoo was feeling in relation to Jongin’s reaction. And the doubt would continue to dwell in him until he did what he knew he had to do.

He had to talk to Jongin.

The young male swallowed, successfully getting his heart beat down to its regular rate. Silence once again creeped up on them, both of them too lost in their thoughts to even utter a sound. However, the reticence was cut brief when the room’s door creaked open, revealing none other than Kyungsoo’s primary doctor. His physician smiled towards his direction, giving them a slight bow as he made his way to a nearby rolling stool chair. Placing his laptop on his lap, the elder opened the electronic device; typing in his password before beginning to search for Kyungsoo’s medical file. When found, the physician glanced up a Kyungsoo with a soft smile.

“Good evening Kyungsoo-ssi. How are you feeling?” the doctor asked, observing the other for any signs of worsening health.

Kyungsoo briefly smiled back before answering honestly, “Physically I feel pretty fine. But emotionally… not so well.”

His physician hummed in response, fully understanding what his patient was talking about. “That’s a great answer, Kyungsoo-ssi, because that’s exactly what I was going to ask you. Did something happen today that made you feel really unwell? Before you lost consciousness?”

The question caught the teen off guard. Kyungsoo glanced at his mother, who nodded at him in support while mouthing ‘it’s fine’. The Junior hesitated, once again fidgeting with his fingers before speaking. “I— actually, yes. Today I… I told my b-boyfriend that I was… that I was pregnant with his child.”

“So you were delivering the news, so to speak,” the doctor commented before rolling the chair closer to his patient. Exhaling, the elder man shuffled to a pile of documents that he had previously had on top of his keyboard. After skimming through them, he focused his attention back on Kyungsoo. “I’m going to deem it safe to assume that doing so made you extremely anxious, am I correct?”

Kyungsoo nodded in affirmation, patiently waiting for whatever else his doctor had to say.

“And as a result you were experiencing various symptoms, right? Dizziness, chest pain, shortness of breath, rapid heartbeats and the likes?” His physician further questioned.

To this, Kyungsoo also nodded.

“Well Kyungsoo-ssi, based on the state you were in when you arrived, some tests we took, and your answers, it seems like you suffered an anxiety attack,” confidently replied the elder, swiftly typing in the diagnosis.

Kyungsoo froze in his place, merely blinking at his doctor. Unsure of how to respond, the Junior muttered, “A-Anxiety attack? I had an anxiety attack?”

The physician reaffirmed with a nod. “Yes, an anxiety attack. Most likely due to the stress and nervousness of telling your partner the news. And before you get anxious again, anxiety attacks are actually quite common during pregnancy. About ten percent of pregnant women get anxiety attacks during their pregnancy. Though you aren’t female, your circumstance still puts you in that ten percent, regardless of gender.”

“Is it… is it dangerous? To the baby, I mean,” asked Kyungsoo, his voice laced with a mixture of worry and curiosity.

“Although common, anxiety attacks can be harmful to an unborn child. This is mainly because such attacks can negatively impact the fetus, by lowering the amount of blood flowing to the fetus,” explained the doctor carefully, making sure both the teen and his mother were understanding exactly what he was saying. “If the fetus doesn’t get enough blood, it can cause problems such as premature birth or low weight. Furthermore, because you are a pregnant male and the complexity of it, anxiety attacks during pregnancy can unfortunately result in a miscarriage.”

Miscarriage

Kyungsoo looked down, processing the man’s words. He had no idea how grave his loss of consciousness had been. And the fact that it was beyond his control was worse. In a soft voice he shared, “I… I didn’t know.”

His doctor simply smiled. “As a first-time parent, it’s perfectly fine that you didn’t know. Although the anxiety attack caused you to faint, your body controlled how long your consciousness was gone for. Your body needed to recharge itself and try to protect both you and the baby, which was why you were out for such long intervals. At this time, all we can do at this moment is try to make sure another doesn’t occur. Since this is your first anxiety attack you’ve had, we won’t prescribe you any medication. We’ll wait it out and see if the symptoms come back to you. For the meantime, please make sure you lower your stress levels and try to relax. Can you do that, Kyungsoo-ssi?”

Said male nodded in agreement, willing to do anything in his power to keep his baby safe. “I can do that.”

“Great,” exclaimed the physician whilst he rose from his seat. “Aside from that, everything seems to be perfectly fine. Since it has only been three days since I last saw you, I won’t be scheduling another check-up appointment. I will, however, have your mom schedule an appointment for your first ultrasound. Since you’re close to being six weeks, I’d like to make the appointment two weeks from now. Would that be okay with you, Ms. Do?”

“Of course it will. Thank you so much,” Ms. Do stated, wasting no time in bowing to the doctor in appreciation.

Kyungsoo followed suit, trying his best to bow in the sitting position he was in. “Thank you.”

The physician humbly shook his head at the two, a smile playing on his lips. “No need to thank me, really. Well, I hope you feel better Kyungsoo-ssi. If you ever feel the symptoms again, don’t hesitate to give us a call. Ms. Do, if you don’t mind, please follow me to the front desk to fill out some paper work and schedule the appointment.”

Gathering his belongings, the doctor makes his way toward the door with Kyungsoo’s mother trailing behind him. Seconds later, Kyungsoo is left alone in the hospital room; his thoughts keeping him company. The sixteen year old remained unmoved, still in a daze after everything his doctor had shared with him. It wouldn’t have been an exaggeration to say that he was shaken up. The fact that Kyungsoo could’ve lost his unborn child because of an anxiety attack terrified him. Even more so that he wouldn’t have been able to do anything to stop it if it had happened. But it hadn’t happened, and Kyungsoo hoped that he would never have another anxiety attack again.

“Kyungsoo hyung…”

Snapped out of his thoughts, Kyungsoo directed his attention to the sound of the voice. In actuality, he had expected the voice to belong to his mother; only registering and hearing ‘Kyungsoo’ and not ‘hyung’. However, it didn’t take long for the Junior to realize that it was not his mom calling out to him, and within seconds the heart monitor’s beeping was gradually increasing in frequency. Kyungsoo wasn’t sure why he was suddenly feeling anxious at the figure in his view. He should’ve been elated to see the other and have him in his presence. But he wasn’t; and it was possibly the fear of directly being rejected and cast aside that really made Kyungsoo anxious.

“Hyung… hyung what’s wrong?”

Jongin stood at the doorway, his worry-stricken face staring straight at his boyfriend. Carefully, he entered the room before softly closing the door behind him. Without a second’s hesitation, the younger of the two silently headed in Kyungsoo’s direction. With every step he took, the heart monitor’s beeping increased. Though when he’d stop, the monitor would start going back to its moderate rate. It was an irregular pattern that was worrying Jongin to no end.

Once at his partner’s side, Jongin took a seat on the stool chair directly next to the hospital bed. A deafening silence consumed them, with neither of them speaking. Pulling at the rough blankets pooled around his legs, Kyungsoo let the beeping of the heart monitor overpower the reticence between them. The eldest of the two clenched his eyes shut, attempting to calm down the nervousness and rapid beating of his heart. He was at a loss. Kyungsoo wanted Jongin to say something—anything—to break the silence. Yet, he was afraid to let him speak; more than that, he was afraid of what the other was going to say.

The silence soon became deafening, and Kyungsoo felt the anxiety trying to creep its way back. Tightly clutching the sheets, he mustered out, “J-Jongin-ah…”

Said male’s eyes widened in alarm, not sure on what to do. “What is it? Kyungsoo hyung… Kyun—Hyung are okay? Your heart is beating too fast, you need to calm down. Please, hyung. I… I don’t know what it is that’s bothering you, but please calm down. Deep breaths, okay Kyungsoo hyung?”

Kyungsoo hesitantly nodded, heeding to Jongin’s advice. The last thing he wanted was to go through another anxiety attack. However, as much as he tried to calm down, his thoughts were signaling that it was all a lie. That no matter how kind Jongin was acting towards him, was false; that his act was coming to an end. And as a consequence, all of the feelings that had attacked him back when they were at the teacher’s parking lot were coming back for a second round. No matter how much Kyungsoo was trying to suppress them, they were weakening him. And Jongin’s silence on the subject was simply making it worse.

Taking in several breaths, Kyungsoo exclaimed, “Jongin, I-I need to—about the b-baby—”

“B-Baby? Is something wrong? Did something happen to the baby, Kyungsoo hyung?” questioned Jongin, his stomach beginning to churn.

The eldest shook his head, focusing his full attention on decreasing his heart rate. When Kyungsoo deemed his state of composure to be calm enough, he opened his mouth to speak. “Nothing… nothing is wrong w-with the baby, Jongin-ah. I’m—I really want to be optimistic right now. But I… There are so m-many thoughts floating in my head and they’re dragging me down.”

Jongin furrowed his eyebrows, not completely understanding the meaning behind the other’s words. “What… are you talking about hyung?”

“I’m scared that you—I’m afraid t-that you’ll….” Kyungsoo sighed, his words not coming out the way in which he wanted them to. Ruffling his hair in frustration, the sixteen year old turned to face his boyfriend. “I’m—I just want you to be h-honest with me. Could you do t-that?”

His boyfriend wearily nodded his head at the question, but confidently answered nonetheless. “I can be honest.”

Satisfied with the reply, Kyungsoo bit his lip in hesitation. He knew what he wanted to ask. He knew what he wanted to express. But he didn’t know if he was ready for its response. his lips, Kyungsoo asked, “Do you w-want to—A-Are you willing to take responsibility for your role in our baby’s upcoming life?”

Jongin stared at Kyungsoo, who, despite his nervousness, maintained full eye contact with him. The former male remained silent, allowing a series of thoughts to replay in his mind. This was it. This was the fateful moment that would change not only Jongin’s life, but also Kyungsoo’s and the unborn child’s. Did he want to take responsibility for his role? At that moment, Jongin suddenly felt grateful for Baekhyun’s earlier questioning; because he no longer had to think about it. He already knew what his answer was. He already knew what he wanted, and that was to support Kyungsoo and his unborn as much as he possibly could. It was to take responsibility; it was to be a father.

Looking down, Jongin let a content smile play on his lips. Under all of the silence, the youngest teen felt his heart beat rise; both in anticipation and slight excitement. After what felt like eternity for both males, Jongin looked back up at Kyungsoo and softly uttered, “Yes. I… I want to take responsibility.”

To his answer, Kyungsoo froze. Gradually, the teen felt his lower vision blur as tears began to pool at the rim of his eyes. During Jongin’s silence, Kyungsoo had started to believe that his intuition had been correct; that his boyfriend did not want anything to do with the child he was to birth. But Jongin’s response caught him off guard, and Kyungsoo felt compelled to clarify. In a trembling voice, the eldest stuttered, “Y-Yes? D-Did you j-just say… y-yes?”

Jongin nodded once more, the overwhelming atmosphere also causing him to tear up. Carefully, the teen rose from his stool seating and made his way onto the bed next to Kyungsoo. Almost instantly, he pulled Kyungsoo into hug, warmly wrapping his arms around the other. Attempting to hold back his tears, Jongin buried his face in his partner’s neck and reiterated, “Yes. I-I said yes, Kyungsoo hyung. I… I want to be a part of the baby’s life. No matter h-how hard it’ll get, no m-matter what anyone says about us, I want to take responsibility. I’m w-worried and I’m scared, but I want to. I… I really w-want to—”

The teenager’s words are abruptly cut short by his boyfriend, who tightly returned Jongin’s embrace. Kyungsoo let out a choked sob, tears of overwhelming anticipation and relief showcasing themselves on the surface of his cheeks. Since the discovery of the pregnancy and up until the very moment they were in, Kyungsoo was sure that Jongin wouldn’t have wanted to be a part of their unborn child’s life. The fact that they were both sixteen years old, that it was Kyungsoo—a male— who was pregnant, and that having a baby was the last thing on Jongin’s ‘to-do’ list was enough to validate his conclusions. Suho’s unexpected reaction had also contributed to Kyungsoo’s thoughts. Because if Suho, who Kyungsoo had been friends with for the past four years, reacted horrendously to the news of Kyungsoo’s pregnancy, than it had been expected that Jongin would do the same; more so because he was the father.

But he didn’t

Instead of shunning him our severing their relationship, Jongin embraced him; both physically and emotionally. And Kyungsoo was extremely thankful for that. Closing his eyes shut, Kyungsoo gave way for a few tears to escape his eyes. The eldest teen was genuinely speechless; too overwhelmed with emotions to say anything coherent. In a rare feat, Kyungsoo had Jongin, the father of his unborn baby, supporting him; willing to be there for both him and the child. It was enough to make Kyungsoo’s chest swell up in appreciation and gratefulness. Kyungsoo knew that their whole journey would not be filled with continuous happiness. Not only did they have to plan what they were going to do from there on out, they also had to come to an agreement on their plans for the baby. But for now, Kyungsoo decided to put such thoughts on hold; wanting to bask in the warmness of his boyfriend’s acceptance and embrace.

Sniffling away a miniscule amount of tears, Kyungsoo felt the need to express his gratitude and endearment of the other. But all that left his mouth were jumbled words and sobs instead of phrases of affection. “J-Jongin-ah I’m… I just w-want to— I want t-to—”

“Shh, it’s ok hyung. Just calm down, okay? I’m here for you,” Jongin gently shared, finally allowing a few tears to fall free. Rubbing his hand vertically on his partner’s back he restated, “I’m here.”

A heavy yet comfortable silenced loomed over them once again. To say both males were scared was an understatement; they were terrified. Not only of being parents, but the drastic changes they were going to face from the general crowd as a result. Though mature for their ages, they knew things would only become difficult from then on. Their lives were going to change not only emotionally, but mentally and socially also. At some point, it was going to be them against their friends; maybe even them against the entire nation. It was a terrifying thought that neither of them wanted to think about, but knew they had to. However, both Juniors opted to leave such thoughts for a more calm and appropriate time setting.

For now, they just wanted to dwell in what could possibly be the calm before the storm.

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A/N: And this signifies the end of “We Weren’t Ready”…… SIKE. If anything, this is only the beginning of what is to come. And remember; the angst tag is there for a reason ;)

I want to apologize for the extremely long wait (five months?? Jeez!). Please understand that I’m in college, so I don’t have as much free time (I’m actually on break now). So no, I’m NOT abandoning the story, I’ve just haven’t been able to put time into it.

As for this chapter, I don’t like it (I might go as far and say I hate it). I don’t think I portrayed their reactions correctly, as doing so in a mpreg story as serious as this is hard. You guys may disagree with me. But please know that I took my time writing this out to be as good as possible (at least a week), and I hope you guys enjoyed it!

That’s it I guess. I want to thank all of you guys who subscribed, upvoted, and commented. It really shows that you guys enjoy my story and it’s one of the main reasons because I haven’t quit on this story due to lack of time (the other is that I love this story too much). You guys are all amazing! Please continue to subscribe and upvote; and definitely comment. I read all of them and respond to them when appropriate! They give me immense motivation!

Until next time, loves ♥