lol i know it takes forever for me to update but lets see from the bright side okay; i finally updated yaay! ^0^ /is killed lol

i.....just been really busy with real life so please forgive me ;u;

Bending, the ability to manipulate an element, is very significant to all aspects of life in the World of Avatar. There are five known bending arts; four of them bend a specific physical element, while the fifth bends the energy within the human body itself. The four elemental bending arts are based on the four classical elements; water, earth, fire, and air, and each are manipulated through certain martial art styles which are reminiscent of the qualities of the element itself. Certain benders are able to effectively manipulate their element with very minimum bodily movement, such as only their head. In even rarer cases, it is possible to perform their bending without the aid of physical movement at all, instead using sheer focus and force of will; a skill known as psychic bending. ( cr. avatar the last airbender wikipedia lol)

v.

“ there we go,” Hoon said happily when he finished healing my wounds.

Yeah, he can heal my wounds with bare hands—as if everything is not weird already, he just had to show me this other magical ability of his.

We are currently inside my room; me lay down on the bed with Hoon and Kiseop sits at either side of my body. Dongho is sitting on the floor, busily playing a game on his iPad like there’s nothing happened. I just lay there, staring at Hoon in somewhat blank face.

Kiseop sighs, “ I don’t like seeing him like this.” he mutters and Hoon nods a little, staring at me a bit more before then kicking Dongho playfully, “yah Dongho, can you do something to make him less….miserable?”

Dongho hiss, seems annoyed, “ I just did what Soohyun hyung want me to do,” he complains, “and this is the only way to keep him calm. I don’t like it myself, you know.”

Hoon and Kiseop went silent after hearing that, glancing at each other before then sighing in unison. Seems they have no choice but to agree with the youngest.

“Sorry, Kev.” Kiseop smiles at me apologetically.

After hearing Soohyun's answer actually there was no reaction from me. I just sat there, stared at him in somewhat blank face. Benders? I almost laughed—almost, if only Soohyun not look that serious...and if there wasn’t a fact that I just witnessed their ability. I gulped. Soohyun telling me the truth and I have no choice but accept it, no matter how unbelievable it is. But it does not mean that I'll do nothing. That’s what I thought when I tried to run--escape from them. Which is a really stupid decision, I mean, they’re benders for god sake. They have some kind of magical powers and here I am thinking that I could escape from them? Right... It was an easy task for Kiseop when Soohyun told him to catch me. And there was Dongho who immediately hug me when I went all hysterics, screaming my lungs out. I close my eyes remembering the scene again. Now I know why I really like Dongho's hugs...now I understand why I feel a lot better everytime he hugs me. Everything makes senses now. No.. .its not because he is my brother...the warm feeling...it’s not because our tight bound to each other. But because it is his other power, ability or whatever you want to call it. Dongho can manipulate your emotions thru his hug. At least that’s my conclusion since when he hugs me, I stopped screaming and practically felt nothing. Just...blank? But now seems like his power no longer affect me as I can feel the terrified feeling once again. I decided to pretend that I still under Dongho spell though, so maybe I can have a chance to run away from them.

The door to my room cracks open then Soohyun and Eli come inside. They processed to walk towards my bed, Kiseop get up and let our eldest hyung take over his place. Eli sit at my study chair, back facing me. His actions kind of saddening me...heck, everything happened tonight saddening me.

I wipe my head to the side, avoiding their stares especially Soohyun's. I look out of the window watching the trees moving slowly as the wind caress them softly. I don’t know what I really feel right now and my mind seems wander around. Its like my body is here but my soul is somewhere else. I just know one thing; I don’t want to be with them right now. I want them to leave me alone. For the first time of my life, as far as I can remember, this is the first time I don’t want their company—I want my friends to leave me alone.

Friends? Are they really my friends? I thought bitterly and a single tear made its way onto my cheek.

"I can understand if you feel betrayed," I can hear Soohyun sighs, it takes a couple seconds before he continue. Seems he thinks really hard before spill out every sentence. "I can understand that you mad at us but Kev, listen to me, we will never hurt you. And the reason why we lied to you in the first place is none other than to protect you."

I remain silent, have no intentions to react.

"I can explain everything but I think this is not the right time." he continues, "You wont hear me, right? You won’t understand."

Soohyun sounds almost desperate, it hurt me a bit hearing him like this. But I can’t lie....he is right though, I won’t hear it let alone trying to understand. They lied to me, that’s the point. They lied and I really hate it.

"please just leave me alone..." I say weakly, more like whispering. Seems like they pretty surprises hearing me speak. It actually surprises myself too.

"but Kev-- "

"please!" I scream, unable to control myself. Calm down... I tell myself. You can’t act like this right now. Pull yourself together! I close my eyes tight, sighing deeply as the tears threaten to fall once again. "just- just please leave me alone..." my voice cracking so bad, I have to turn my body aside then bury my face into the pillow, preventing them to see me crying.

There’s a long pause before then I hear Soohyun tell everyone that it’s better for me to have some time alone. They seems agree and I can sense them slowly leaving the room.

Just when I thought everyone left already and about to open my eyes, suddenly my bed sank a bit. I close my eyes once more when I feel someone caress my hair softly. Even with eyes close I can recognize whose hand is it...

"I'm sorry..." Eli whispers then plant soft kisses on the top of my head. I hold my breath, trying really hard to not breaking down right there and then. God knows how I really want to cry out loud, punching Eli and ask for his explaination. Then he'll gathers me in his arms, telling me that everything is gonna be fine....everything I just witnessed was only a dream...

Now I’m willing to give anything to hear him saying that everything is only a dream.

His lips lingered a longer than it should have it almost uncomfortable, but then he sighs and slowly leaving. Just when I heard the sounds of the door being closed I can’t take it anymore, I sob onto the pillow.

It takes probably an hour or so for me to finally calm down. I straighten my position, wiping all the tears with my palms. No. Don’t be like this, Kevin. Stop being such a cry baby. You have to accept the reality. Pull yourself together! I tell myself, but then at the same time I know I can’t. I just can’t... This....I can’t accept this. Not now-- not yet. Even though this is what I've been searching this whole time; the truth. But I never imagined it'll hurt me this much.

As I stare at the ceiling above, I recall what Soohyun had said earlier. They lied because they want to protect me? I cringe at the word...protect? Protect me from what? I’m just a boring, ordinary student...why they have to protect me? I’m not president's son, I don’t even have a parents.

Soohyun said he can explain everything. Yes, all I need to do is ask. But no. Not now. For some reasons, I...kinda afraid to know the answers. I’m not ready. Yes, I’m not ready yet. Go ahead and call me a coward but I know this is not the right time for me to hear the truth. What happened tonight is enough, I need time to think. I need time to understand-- and accept.

Slowly get off the bed, I made my way to the window. Staring at the views outside, it was never as scary as I feel right now. Scary....yet inviting.

Sighing, I unlock the window and open it as wide as possible. It’s dark outside, and cold—seems like it’s gonna rain in any time soon. It’s better for people to stay inside.

I look at the ground—it’s not that far. I can jump without getting hurt. Yeah...

There’s always this main character on films where everyone trying so hard to keep him/her safe but he/she just had to act stupid and ruin everything. I really hate that character. I swear I always wonder why they had to be that stupid? And also wondering is a character like that even exist in real life?

"seems like you've answered your questions right now, huh?" I whisper to myself bitterly.

Taking a deep breath, pushing all the thoughts and uncertainty to the farthest back of my head, I nod to myself then jumping out of the window.

AJ’s Point of View

Flipping thru channels over and over again, finally I get bored and pissed off. Why do I even bother to watch anyway? TV only gives you .

I lay down on the couch, sighing. Wondering why this house is so quite? Where's Key? And then my mind answers my own question; of course he hanging out with his stupid boyfriend what else he can do?

Sighing once more, I close my eyes and let my mind wanders around

"please tell me this is not just a dream..."

A silly grin slowly crept upon my lips as I remembered what Kevin said to me earlier at the nursery. It was so cute...yet heartbreaking. I sigh. He sounds so vulnerable and confused about everything. Knowing that I'm the caused of it make me feel bad even more. It's not like I want to play with his feelings, heck, the last thing I wanna do is hurting him. But I have no choice, this is the best thing I can do, for me, for him-- for us. And he is not the only one hurting here, I'm willing to give anything to end this ed up situation.

I still remember the feeling when I had him in my arms, I still remember every second of it. Nothing change, just like those old times having him so close to me is the best moment ever. Good thing that he hadn't pushed me away since I acted like a total ert hugging him out of sudden. I chuckle. Seems like he remember me a bit-- or at least the feeling we share.

Or that's what I convince myself to believe.

I run my fingers through my hair, closing my eyes as I sigh heavily. "why it has to be you?" I mumble. That question again. Why it has to be you, Kevin?

The loud sounds of the door being slammed shut make me jump off the couch a bit. Cursing, I see my younger brother and his so called boyfriend made their way inside our house.

"what the that was for?" I just realized that Key wet all over and looks totally pissed. I laugh a bit. He looks like an angry kitten drenched by the rain. "I thought it's already late to swim."

"shut up, AJ." he hisses through his gritted teeth, "it's a good thing that I haven't kill your precious boyfriend! Yet!" Key stomps his feet angrily and leave the room. Minute later we can hear another loud slam and Onew chuckles. I still in a deep thought, processing what Key said to me. Boyfriend? And when the realization hit me hard, I practically jumping off the couch; grabbing Onew's collar angrily.

"Kevin," I growl, "did you hurt him?! Listen, if you dare laying a finger on him I swear I'll break your n--"

"whoaa calm down lover boy," he mocks, but there's mix of angry and disbelief I see as he stare straight into my eyes. "don't do the same mistake." he warns and I cant help but feel offend.

"what mistake?" I scoff, releasing my grip roughly making him stumbling backwards a bit. "I don’t know what are you talking about." I reach for my jacket and key before then walking straight to the front door.

"really, huh?" Onew snorts, "don't be stupid, AJ!"

I gave him one last look before then slamming the door shut right in front of his face.

It was really dark outside and the heavy rain clearly not helping at all. I barely can see the view outside. It’s like the whole world turn into a pitch black. There’s no light; no moon, stars nor street lamps. The only light I have it’s from my car. This is dangerous, I mumble, then slowing down my speed. Go back home sounds like a really good idea but no, I cant’. I have to find him; Kevin. I try to see past his mind but he blocks me, which is really weird since he supposes to unable to use his power. And the last time he blocks me was the day where I promised to myself that I won’t let it happen again. But it happened now, might as well as bad as that very day. I grip the stir so hard. I have to find him now.

Too absorb in my own thoughts, I’m not really pay attention with my surroundings, only snap back to reality when I heard a scream.

"!" I curse, stepping onto the brake immediately. I get out of my car, pulling my hoodie up to cover my head from the rain, which is pretty waste since it’s raining so hard.

The person that I almost hit with my car is sitting on the side of the road. Staring up at me with wide eyes, seems surprises. Meanwhile I don’t even know what I feel when I recognize whose the person is. Should I feel relief or surprise?

“…Jaeseop?” his voice sounds really weak and that’s it. I don’t even care what I feel, heck, I don’t even care with anything. In mattered of seconds I already have him in my arms, hugging him tight. If Kevin is surprise, he doesn’t show it. He leans even closer to me instead. Seems he is happy to see me, happy that I found him. I plant soft kisses on his hair when I hear soft sobs escape his lips. I sigh. He never knew that seeing him like this really broke my heart.

“hey…it’s okay, I’m here.” I whisper, his back. “let’s go home, okay? I’ll drive you home.”

“no!” he shakes his head violently, still buries his head deep on my chest. “I don’t wanna go home.” He cries even more. And that’s really make me confuse.

“but we have to go home, Kevin. It’s raining so hard an—“

“no!!” he looks up to me, gripping my jacket so hard, seems angry. “I don’t wanna go home, Jaeseop! Anywhere but home…”

“but, Kev—“

“take me with you,” Kevin pleads, “take me to your house, Jaeseop, please…”

That’s the last thing I expect him to ask me. Like what? Take him to my house? It’s like bringing him closer to his death. No. No way.

“I can’t.” I say and Kevin seems really disappoint by it. I have to turn my head aside, avoid his eyes that clearly showing sadness.

“why?”

I sigh. “because—, I just can’t okay?” you don’t want to know the real answer, so please, don’t ask. I add in my mind and feel frustrated out of sudden. “come on, I drive you home.” I’m about to pick him up but he push me hard, freeing himself from my embrace. “Kevin?”

“I said I don’t want to go home why you won’t understand?” he cries, “if you don’t want to take me with you, just leave me alone!” he stands up and starts walking away from me. I sigh. This is just like those old times. I abruptly stand up and run a bit to catch him.

“yah…” I catch his wrist. “why are you always like this, huh? Cant you stop being demanding for once?”

He stops then looks at me with mix expressions on his face. He seems pretty pissed but also confused. “w-what are you talking about?”

I chuckle to myself. Of course he doesn’t remember it, you stupid Jaeseop. “let’s go home.” I take his hand, “my home, okay?” I add when he about to pull away once again.

Kevin seems having a little debate within himself. Probably thinking whether I really gonna take him to my place or I’m just lying. “trust me, kay?” I say, and he finally nods. Letting himself being drag by me to my car.

I know I’m not allowed to do this. This is not right—for both of us.

But I know my heart want this. I miss him too much to waste this opportunity. And this might be the only one chance I have so I want to be selfish.

Let me be selfish this time.

--

its already late here and i have to wake up early >< i promise to greet everyone via wall once i have time hehe

hitori, loyal_kissme, babyxgirlx704, 143TOFU, nachan0928, kevLene91, jotwins0424, kaachan, wow_fantastic_baby, Moonlessnight, Agniecha1991, LoveU-KissForever,  and fitrah thanks a lot for commenting! ^^

lol my brain seems dead idk what to type i really need to sleep =_= sooo thanks guys hope you enjoy the 5th chapter haha /cookies for everyone ^^