4.

Apparently, nobody informed Sandeul that it was National Abs Day. He was a bit put out by that. There should be some law placed that all bodybuilders, athletes, celebrities and B1A4 were told about National Abs Day at least three years in advance. Because, you know, that should be about sufficient time to build some abs and have a bit of leeway to fall off the wagon every once in a while.

The morning started reasonably well, with Sandeul being shaken awake by Gongchan wearing a duck shirt and a creepy smile. “Come alive…” Gongchan sang, “The morning duck migrations can’t start without their duck leader…”

Baro was doing push-ups on the floor. “Ducks,” he huffed, making his arms straight. He went down and came up again. “Fly?”

“Ducks fly. Chickens don’t fly,” corrected the scholarly CNU. He walked into the room with a spring in his steps, putting the contact lens into his right eye. Then, he dug out a small rectangular case from his bathrobe pocket and put on his spectacles. Sandeul watched the process, bemused.

“WAKE UP!” shouted Jinyoung from the outside. “The variety show recording starts in forty-five minutes and we’re still here!”

“It’s not enough time,” moaned Baro, collapsing onto the ground.

“Tell me about it!” Jinyoung cried back.

“I can’t even feel my chocolate abs yet,” Baro mumbled sadly, feeling his stomach.

“What do you need abs for?” Sandeul asked as he stumbled to his feet. Gongchan ran off to find his shoes, being the only one readily dressed.

“Fanservice,” Baro replied seriously. “They’re going to ask us to do something. CNU-hyung is going to make noona fans sigh lovingly at whatever he does, Jinyoung-hyung is going to show off his composing skills and whatever Channie does, they’ll probably cut off his parts, poor guy.”

“His parts?” choked CNU.

Thinking back on his words, Baro turned red. “No, not those parts! I mean his screen time! HYUNG!”

Sandeul looked stricken. When he went to the bathroom, he was greeted by 2PM flexing their muscles and giving very y looks at him.

“WHO PUT THE 2PM POSTER ON THE TOILET MIRROR!” he yelled.

In the middle of changing, CNU barged into the toilet with an affronted look. He snatched the poster away.

“Anti-fans everywhere,” Sandeul heard him mutter as he walked out.

“STOP OGGLING 2PM AND GET MOVING!” Jinyoung ordered, after Sandeul did not appear for a while.

“What?” CNU poked his head out of the bedroom.

“What?” Jinyoung blinked at CNU. “Sandeul-ah! What are you doing in there then?”

The toilet door burst open. Dressed in their co-ordinated outfits of a white t-shirt and blue jeans, and brandishing a toothbrush at their direction, Sandeul looked a bit crazed. He still had bed-hair, but Gongchan decided to tone down the look on his face by complimenting his ‘y new hairstyle hyung, looks a bit like a duck but not too bad on you’.

“Since when were real ducks y?” whispered back Baro, where he sat on the doorstep next to Gongchan, ready to leave too.

“I HAVE NO ABS!” He started to panic. “What am I to fans? I-I- I’M A DUCK WITH NO ABS!”

“He’s very vocal today,” CNU noticed, sitting next to Baro.

“FINE! SO I’M A SINGING DUCK WITH NO ABS!”

 Jinyoung turned to the three members of his team and narrowed his eyes. “What have you been telling him?”

The three of them put their hands in the air.

“Come on, Sandeul!”

The recording studio was very silent, so the PD quietly whispered into the ear of the sound director to insert some cricket noises during the editing.

“Tell me about your outfits,” the host asked finally, gesturing to B1A4. It was not often the hosts were speechless, not even when gay fanservice first started becoming the trend.

Gongchan stepped out solemnly. “As the fashion mastermind of B1A4,” he started, “the white shirts show our freshness and the blue jeans emphasises our youth.” Uncannily, he managed to find all the recording cameras and smiled aegyo.

“Cut out his scene, just leave the smile,” the PD whispered again.

“Yes, sir.”

Baro, who heard the PD, rolled his eyes and pushed the offending member to the front. Jinyoung co-ordinated and pulled Gongchan back slightly.

Sandeul was wearing a banana suit.

“Hi,” he said nervously. He looked back at the host.

“Go on,” the host prompted cheerfully.

“Ah chinja… HI BANAS!” he exclaimed, waving his arms and jumping up and down. Behind him, Jinyoung face-palmed and was motioning silently to the PD to cut that scene too. The PD waved back and whispered, “Why is he making cutting-throat motions? Someone bring him water.”

The host took a bottle of water from one of the crew and wasted some time making funny jokes.

“Thanks for the love you BANAs have given us,” Sandeul continued, ignoring the laughter behind as he tried, and failed, to bow since it was really hard to bow in a hard banana suit. “Since everyone has shown a side of them to love, like Baro’s abs –”

The camera suddenly swivelled to his direction. Baro flexed his arms, giving his toughest face. (“Does he need the toilet?” the PD whispered.)

“–actually maybe except Channie,” rambled on Sandeul, “Since his parts always get cut –”

(The editor nodded before the PD said anything. “Yes, sir, cutting out this line as well.”)

“SO THIS IS MY WAY OF SHOWING MY LOVE TO YOU.” Sandeul wised up and made a heart-shape with his arms. “I’m a BANAna! BANA and I are ONE! B1A4 AS ONE! SARANGHAEYO!”

There was a warm round of applause to that.

The PD nodded at all the editing made the next week. He pointed to one boy. “Who’s that?”

“Gongchan, sir.”

“He in B1A4?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Huh. Focus on the banana, that’ll sell, and the line about the abs. It was National Abs Day that day.”

“Really, sir? I didn’t know.”

“Oh, someone mentioned it to me three years ago.”