The sunlight flooded through my floor-length window and I winced slightly, turning my body to the other side to avoid being blinded. It didn’t work. Ugh, I groaned mentally. Why didn’t I close the curtains before I slept last night? I slipped my hands out of the blanket and held onto the hem in attempt to cover my face, but the blanket wouldn’t budge.

 

“What the ?” I mumbled, my voice hoarse and my throat dry. I swallowed with difficulty, as I began to open my eyes, sensing that something was wrong. Why do I feel so terrible? I grunted as I pulled the blanket once more and again, it wouldn’t yield. Annoyed, I flipped myself over and looked, with squinted eyes, to see what was holding it down.

 

The sight caused me to scramble off my bed. There was a man sleeping next to me on my bed and it was his body that was lying on my blanket. He was fully-clothed, thank goodness, but his silhouette looked awfully like Leeteuk’s. I peeked at him. Blonde hair, chiseled back, small … yeah, definitely Leeteuk. I got up, ready to beat the crap out of him, until a searing headache overtook me.

 

I moaned, slumping against my nightstand. In my pain, I heard a creak as my bed moved slightly and a couple of thundering footsteps. Leeteuk was by my side in the next second.

 

“Are you okay?” He peered at me.

 

I clutched my head and motioned no with my hand. I must be hung-over again – this feeling was all too familiar. Leeteuk cursed as he hurriedly left the room to look for aspirin. The pain was a little too much and all of a sudden, I felt a wave of nausea come over me as the room spun a little. I half ran, half crawled into the washroom and hurled into the toilet.

 

Soon, Leeteuk was back and he began to rub my back gently. He pushed all my hair to one side and held onto it, making sure it stayed clear of my vomit. “You’ll feel better soon,” he reassured.

 

“It hurts,” I moaned, the tears prickling. I closed my eyes and hurled once more, coughing painfully afterwards. It took a few more hurls before I emptied everything I had the day before from my bowels. I sat on the floor, limp and tired.

 

“I’ll take you back to bed,” Leeteuk gently helped me up. I nodded and proceeded to rinse my mouth and wash my face before following him back. He handed me an aspirin and a huge glass of water, which I took gratefully.

 

As I pulled the blankets over me, I asked him, “Why were you sleeping next to me?” I was no longer surprised or angry, just somewhat curious.

 

He scratched the back of his neck, somewhat embarrassed. “Um,” he laughed a bit, “I don’t know if you even remember this, but I took you home last night. You came down with a small fever by the time we arrived here, so I decided it’s best if I stayed with you.”

 

“Thanks,” I mumbled, wincing when I remembered what happened last night. The scenes flashed through my head – I still felt really unsettled, but the fury and the intensity of my emotions faded. I felt much more rational after a long sleep.

 

“I didn’t cross the line though,” he added uselessly. “I just slept, because I was too tired after taking care of you.”

 

“It’s fine,”

 

“Um,” He looked around and felt his back pocket for his phone and wallet. “I should go. If you need anything, just call me.”

 

“Oppa,” I reached out to him. “Don’t go.”

 

He looked surprised.

 

“I need to go to the office later and I think I’m too weak to head over there alone. Can you please drive me? I’ll be ready in an hour.”

 

“Why? It’s my day off today, isn’t it yours as well?”

 

“I know, but I have to find Minyeon.”

 

A look of hesitation crossed over his face and his brows furrowed. He muttered, “You shouldn’t go find her.”

 

“I have to,” More like I must.

 

“You’re too sick,” he persisted.

 

“I’m not, I’m fine now.” I tried my best to sound convincing, “ Look, I have to go find her and sort out what happened. There is no way I’m going to be truly okay if I don’t do that.”

 

He sighed, “Fine, I’ll wait for you outside.”

 

Half an hour later, I managed to drag myself out of bed, dress and uselessly slap some makeup on my face. My head was still pounding, but it was much better than before. I could at least concentrate without feeling like I had to use half a day’s energy to do it. Leeteuk was waiting outside, watching the news. He had coffee in his hands and had somehow changed from his blazer-and-jeans attire to a simple t-shirt and sweatpants.

 

“Did you change?” I asked.

 

He glanced at me and immediately turned off the television. “Yeah, my fans would notice if I didn’t and that would imply I didn’t go home at all last night.” He grabbed his car keys.

 

“But you didn’t go –“ I paused, as I finally understood what he meant. “Oh.”

 

“Are you all ready?”

 

I nodded and followed him out the door. The ride down the elevator as well as the trip to the parking lot was done in total silence. He walked in front of me, but slower than usual to accommodate my pace. I realized I didn’t know what to say to him although I obviously owed him a lot of words, namely many “sorry”s and “thank you”s. I work for Leeteuk and the fact that I embarrassed myself in front of him and asked for favors from him was somewhat crossing the line a bit.

 

“Thanks,” I finally said when we got in the car.

 

“It’s fine,” he replied, resting one arm on the steering wheel while the other scratched his chin. He didn’t shave this morning and I could see a tiny stubble forming.

 

“But it’s your day off today,” I protested.

 

“It’s actually more interesting for me this way. Normally, I would just be laying around, going to the gym and seeing the other members.”

 

“Either way, you deserve to chill,”

 

He looked at me with annoyance and sighed, “Are you always this stubborn? Weren’t you the one who begged me to drive you?”

 

“Fine!” I whined, “but I just feel bad.”

 

“Don’t,” he said and started the car.

 

There was some more silence before I muttered, “I screwed up last night, didn’t I?”

 

“It’s not your fault,”

 

I sighed and rested my head on the window, “I don’t know what to think or feel anymore. First, nobody likes me and then, I get harassed. By the end of the night, I find out that it was all my good friend’s doing.”

 

“This is what the real world is like. It’s not a place that shelters the weak-hearted,”

 

I looked at him.

 

“I’m just telling the truth,” he added.

 

I didn’t reply and stared at my lap. I guess what he said was right and I should’ve known better. High school wasn’t exactly the most nurturing place ever, so why did I expect anything better from the world of adults? I just thought perhaps any place away from my dad was a better place. I sighed, I’m too naïve.

 

The car stopped at a red light. Leeteuk reached into his pocket and fumbled for his phone. He took it out and handed it to me. “Check the messages,”

 

I looked at him and did what I was told. The inbox was spammed by Donghae’s texts and they were all about me. He checked up on me throughout the entire night and was still worrying over me in the morning. He was mad that he couldn’t protect me better, as Junghyun was his friend. He also thought it was his fault that I was accused of being a . The next few messages were from Sungmin with the same concerned words and a short, apologetic letter from Yang-seun. I smiled slightly from their kind words.

 

“You deserve to know that people still care,”

 

“Thanks,” I smiled at him, “It means a lot.”

As the car approached the backdoor of SM Entertainment, I saw many fans hanging around the sidewalk, holding signs and gifts. Their faces spoke of eagerness and desperation.

 

“What should we do?” I asked Leeteuk, worried. “I shouldn’t be seen with you in your car. Won’t they be suspicious?”

 

He thought for a moment and spoke, “You should go in and find Minyeon alone and I’ll wait for you in the car. You’ll need someone to drive you home,”

 

“Won’t they find it weird that you’re not coming out?”

 

“I don’t drive my own car here often, so the fans won’t recognize the car plate.”

 

---

 

I nodded and got out quickly, taking only my cell phone with me. I took a deep breath as I entered the building, readying myself for the worst. I could not predict how things would go down between Minyeon and me and I just hoped that I wouldn’t burst into tears and embarrass myself. As I walked past the reception, the receptionist looked surprised to see me. She gawked, “Jia-eun? You don’t have work today,”

 

“Oh, unnie,” I waved, smiling tensely, “I’m here to see Minyeon, is she here?”

 

 “Uh,” She seemed uncertain and waved me over. I widened my eyes and leaned closer to her. She whispered in my ear, “Didn’t you hear? She got fired.”

 

“What?” I clasped my hand over my mouth. “Why?”

 

“You seemed shocked. Shouldn’t you be happy?” She looked at me incredulously and wrinkled her nose in disgust, “What she did to you was so low!”

 

So she knew.

 

“But…”

 

“You are the president’s friend’s daughter, so the president had to fire her. It was to protect you. Either way, I’m glad Minyeon’s gone. I don’t like her much,” she gabbled on.

 

I nodded half-heartedly and asked, “Where is she now?”

 

“She packed her things and left this morning. You should’ve seen her face…”

 

“What?” Ugh, . Now I couldn’t even get a proper explanation out of her. I already tried calling her last night and she didn’t pick up then. There was no way I could find her after this.

 

“But she left you something,” She handed me a white envelope, but pulled back when I reached for it. “Should I shred it instead? It probably doesn’t contain good stuff.”

 

“No, no, I want to read it,” I took the envelope quickly and bowed to the receptionist before walking away. I contemplated reading it then and there, but I thought better. I entered the back stairs and sat on a step. Nobody liked to walk here, so it was a safe and secure place to be on my own.

 

Jia-eun,

I don’t know if I can still call you my dongsaeng after something like this. I admit I spread those rumors about you - I told the assistants that you were jealous of them and that you wanted to date all the Super Junior members. It wasn’t hard to make them believe me, as the members are so friendly to you. Yet, I want to clarify something… the Junghyun incident… I didn’t expect that to happen. I’m sorry that you had to go through with him. Because I felt guilty for causing something like this, I want to make it up to you by telling you why I did this.

Your father paid me. He said that you could not withstand hardship and will come back to him once it becomes unbearable in Seoul. I didn’t want to do it at first, but he promised me a life in the United States and a position in his company. I’m not a kind person, and I don’t wish for you to forgive me, but please… since I told you the reason, don’t tell your father that I told you, or else what I’ve done – all that lying and betraying – will be for nothing.

Minyeon unnie

 

I closed my eyes, and clutched the letter to my chest tightly, unable to breathe properly. My hands were trembling and the tears were starting to fall uncontrollably once more. My dad, I thought. So it all goes back to him again. What kind of messed-up father would do this to his daughter? Resisting the urge to let out my anger and frustrations and scream, I opened the backstairs door to outside and ran into the open parking lot. The fans looked curiously at me, as I hurriedly opened the car door and slammed it close.

 

“Are you okay?” Leeteuk immediately asked.

 

This time, I couldn’t reply. I instantly let out what I had held in and bawled. I reached over to the driver’s seat and grabbed him, crying and screaming into his shoulder. Almost instantly, his hands wrapped themselves around me into a soothing embrace.

 

“What happened?” he asked frantically. Then, he noticed the crumpled letter from my hand and took it, reading it over my shoulder. After a while, I felt him say soothing words in my ears and clutched me even tighter. I guessed he finished reading.

 

“I-I’m fine… I just… I just need to… let it out,” I continued to sob against him. I was heaving so heavily that he had to pull me away to make sure I was fine before letting me cry into him again. After what seemed like forever, my tears finally stopped. With my head resting on his shoulder and my arms around his waist, I blinked my heavy eyes, feeling the dryness and the pain and looked apologetically at the extremely soaked patch on his white t-shirt. “It hurts a lot less to know that my father did this,” I croaked softly.

 

“It does?” He was still my back.

 

“I thought I was betrayed by a person I cared about for the second time in my life. My dad betrayed me for years, but I got used to it. I was shattered to know that Minyeon would do the same… It made it hard for me to think about trusting people again. It made me lose hope on finding some stupid sanctuary in the world, but now that I know it’s my dad’s doing… It doesn’t hurt that much anymore.”

 

“Why would he do that to you though?” He sounded concerned and unconsciously, I snuggled further against his neck, feeling the movement of his adam’s apple when he spoke.

 

“I left the States, because I don’t want to live a life under his control anymore. I didn’t want to give a about what he thinks and what he wants from me. I was like a puppet to him since I was born and I guess, he just wanted me to come back, but no. Never. He underestimated me. Now that I know how desperate he is, I’ll just stay here forever and piss him off”

 

“He’s not being fair to you,”

 

“I don’t think the word ‘fair’ is applicable in my situation – he’s torturing me mentally,”

 

He chuckled and pulled me away from him. He took a look at me and chuckled even more, “You look like a mess,”

 

“Thanks,” I mumbled and checked my appearance in the rearview mirror. Indeed, my eyes were very puffy and I had red blotches all over my face, especially around my nose. I groaned and covered my face with my hands.

 

Leeteuk laughed and retrieved his phone that he laid aside. He tapped around it for a bit and asked, “Do you want to have lunch with Donghae? He’s asking.”

 

“What? He knows I’m with you?”

 

“They all know,”

 

Great, how embarrassing, I thought. I huffed, trying to find an excuse to not go. I turned to him and pouted, “I cant. I can’t see him looking like this”

 

He smiled amusedly and imitated my tone, “But I am seeing you looking like this”

 

“It’s not the same! You know why I’m upset,”

 

He started the car despite my protests and reassured, “We’ll make something up. I can’t say no to him, because I’m starving.”

 

“Yah!”