Jade,

Nope, I’m still here in Seoul! I am leaving in a few weeks – it’s just that there are a lot of preparations to do. With so much work on my hands, you have no idea how much of a relief writing this is for me. I mean, I have been crunching numbers and staring at my computer screen all day. I feel like I’m going to get carpal tunnel syndrome soon.

Anyways, are you getting used to Seoul? It’s been a little over a month and usually homesickness kicks in around this time. If there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to tell me. I’ll help – without revealing my identity of course. I know you don’t want that.

Yours only,
Dan

 

 

I smiled at Dan’s letter. He has always been so sweet to me, offering his help and support during the times I needed them the most. Yet, I didn’t need anything from him this time. I was having the time of my life these few weeks working at the company. The first week or so was a bit awkward, but after getting to know everyone, it had been a lot of fun. Everyone was so welcoming and the artists had all been surprisingly kind to me. Even Leeteuk, who I had a hard time understanding, is a rather easy person to work with. Apparently, it was a good thing that he was cold to me the other day.

 

“If he wasn’t, then you should be scared,” Yang-seun had said when I told her about Leeteuk’s sudden change of mood. “He always acts friendly and warm to strangers at first, which is not really him. He actually has a withdrawn personality. If he is showing you his withdrawn side, it means he trusts you.”

 

“But he changed so suddenly” I reasoned.

 

“Perhaps you didn’t realized that he was in a bad mood today?”

 

“Maybe…”

 

“Look, they are preparing for their comeback. He must be stressed out.”

 

And of course, Yang-seun was right. Leeteuk was just stressed out, as I heard the other members also commenting on him being too serious that day. I felt relieved after hearing what Yang-seun said and over the next few days, he was quite his cheery self once more. Overall, things had been great.

 

Although… I thought, with my chin resting atop my hands on the table. Weird things have been happening. I kept screwing up and forgetting things here and there.

 

“Is it because I am having too much fun?” I asked myself.

 

“Yah,” I felt a hard jab on my shoulder.

 

I whipped my head around to curse whoever did that, but smiled shyly when I saw Donghae’s devilish grin. “Were you talking to yourself?”

 

“I… no,” I lied with my insides slowly dying from embarrassment.

 

He sat down next to me, looking bored. They were shooting for their album cover and jacket and had been at the studio since 6am in the morning. It was Ryeowook’s turn, so everyone else was just sleeping, waiting or playing around.

 

“Donghae-shii, I like you with this kind of hairstyle,” I commented, giving him a satisfied nod. His hair was jet black and short with his bangs gelled so that it curled upwards. It made him look like a badass, which was something new.

 

“Thanks,” he said, evidently happy due to my compliment. He looked around the huge studio and questioned, “Who, in your opinion, looks the best?”

I looked around, observing. I skipped over a few members, who I thought looked like their average self. I then contemplated between Kyuhyun with his adorable short hair and Siwon with his winner abs. Suddenly, Leeteuk entered my vision, walking across the room to talk to Eunhyuk.

 

Without a moment’s hesitation, I said, “Leeteuk”

 

“What?” Donghae pouted, “Not me?”

 

“I’m just being honest,” I stated simply, shaking my head helplessly at his aegyo. People said Sungmin was the cute one, but from what I’ve seen, Donghae is always the one performing aegyo to his hyungs, assistants and managers. Sungmin, on the other hand, seemed more mature.

 

“So… how do you like it here?” he asked, changing the subject abruptly.

 

“It’s great here,” I said sincerely. “I do enjoy this place very much. I like being in Seoul much more than being in the States.”

 

“Why?” he cocked his head sideways, staring at me.

 

“Because…” I hesitated, “Because here, I am in charge of my own life, but when I’m there, I’m like a puppet.”

 

“Because of your parents?” he asked softly.

 

I nodded, suddenly a little overwhelmed by emotion. It was the first time I opened up to someone about my family since I came to Seoul and it felt as if some weight had lifted off my shoulders. I hadn’t realized how much I was still bothered by my father and how hurt I actually was.

 

“Well,” he said. “I’m glad you like it here.”

 

He was staring at me with an intense, but comforting gaze. Although his words were simple, he was trying to reassure me and to make me feel better. I smiled at his kindness.

 

“Thanks, Donghae-shii”

 

“Call me oppa,” he smiled, pointing at himself.

 

“Oppa?” I asked, surprised. “Isn’t that too informal?”

 

“Don’t you call Jack ‘oppa’ too?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“Then call me oppa too!”

 

“Okay,” I said uneasily, “oppa…”

 

He laughed and waved at me when his assistant ushered him over to the photographer. Apparently, it was his turn. I watched him chat amiably with the staff while they prepped him for the shoot. Well, I thought. At least he’s happy and relaxed.

 

Feeling cheerful after the conversation, I walked up to Leeteuk and Eunhyuk and poked Leeteuk’s shoulder. He was laughing about something and stopped when he turned and saw me.

“Yeah?” he asked.

 

“Donghae told me to call him oppa,” I admitted shamelessly and requested, “Can I call you that too?”

 

He looked taken aback by my forwardness, but shrugged, “Sure.”

 

I grinned happily.

 

“Why is she in such a good mood today?” Eunhyuk asked Leeteuk incredulously, pointing at me.

 

“I’m just happy!”

 

“Well, whatever, but call me oppa too,” Eunhyuk looked at me and gave me his gummy smile. “Or I’d feel left out.”

 

“Okay, oppa,” I chirped obediently.

 

They shook their head helplessly and laughed.

 

Suddenly, a “Jia-eun!” was heard from the other side of the studio and the three of us turned towards the direction of the shout.

 

Eunhyuk nudged me and stated dramatically in a low voice, “Looks like the mighty ‘Jack oppa’ has summoned you.”

 

I laughed as I left them to approach Jack. He was talking to the other managers and looked like he needed me desperately, so I started to jog over.

 

“Yes oppa?”

 

He pointed at my shoulder bag and said, “Give me the concept photos for the photo shoot – we want to go over Shindong’s with the stylists before they begin shooting”

 

With a nod, I rummaged through my shoulder bag for the black leather-bound folder that the concept photos were nicely put in. It was the most conspicuous thing in my bag, next to my sapphire blue folder and laptop, so I reached in without looking, expecting to grab it at once. Yet, there was no black leather-bound folder.

 

I gasped and opened my bag widely. I spun around to check the counter and even carefully finger through other assistants’ purses to look for it. There was nothing.

 

, I panicked. Jack is going to murder me.

 

I slowly walked up to him and announced in a small voice, “I-I can’t find it.”

 

“What?” He stared at me.

 

“I really did bring it! I remember putting it in my bag,” I explained hurriedly, “but it doesn’t seem to be there anymore. I don’t know where it is, but I couldn’t have left it anywhere, because I never took it out of my bag…”

 

“So you lost the photos?” He raised his voice and the other managers are frowning.

 

“I-no, I didn’t lose them…”

 

“Then where is it now?”

 

I opened my mouth and closed it. I felt tears b at the corner of my eyes as I watched Jack’s furrowed brows and the fiery anger in his eyes. I lost it, I thought. I lost it – It’s totally my fault.

 

“Do you know how serious this is? You better find these photos, because if you didn’t, it means there is a chance that these photos could be leaked. Do you know what kind of damage that will cost?” Jack asked, getting more and more riled up. “Besides, how is that you have lost three documents in a week? Do you want to get fired?”

 

By this time, many people around us were staring.

 

“I-I honestly don’t know how I lost those documents. I swear I did put them in my bag and somehow they managed to be gone every time.”

 

“So you’re saying this is not your fault?”

 

“No, I-“

 

“Hyung,” Sungmin, who was watching the whole time, steppedforward and interrupted me. “I saw Jia-eun put the photos in her bag while we were leaving.”

 

Jack heaved a huge sigh and asked, “Then where is it now?”

 

“I swear I didn’t take it out of my bag.”

 

Sungmin put a reassuring hand on my shoulder and reasoned, “I don’t think this is Jia-eun’s fault.”

 

“Could someone have stolen it?” a manager suggested.

 

“Perhaps,” Jack sighed, eyeing me slightly and picked up his phone. “Upstairs would not be happy about this.”

 

When Jack began to make a call, Sungmin quickly led me away from the group of managers towards the awaiting Super Junior members and some assistants.

 

“Don’t worry, it’s not your fault,” Yang-seun put her arms around me.

 

I couldn’t say anything. I haven’t felt this humiliated in my life before. I was falsely accused of something I didn’t do, but have no way of proving it. There was absolutely no way I could have lost the stupid photos; I remember bringing them and so did Sungmin. Some must have stolen them.

 

“But what’s going to happen?” Shindong asked, “What if someone did steal them?”

 

Kyuhyun eyed everyone in the room. “The question is who”

 

Siwon saw where Kyuhyun was leading and spoke quickly, “You can’t just assume that someone here took it.”

 

“Calm down,” said Leeteuk with a frown on his face as he tilted his head towards Jack’s direction. “He just got off the phone, so let’s see what he has to say first before assuming things.”

 

Sure enough, once Jack put down his phone, he glared straight at me.

 

“Minyeon found the folder on your desk.”

 

What the ?

 

“So it wasn’t stolen?” The managers sounded relieved.

 

Kangin pointed at me and asked, “I thought the girl said she brought it with her.”

 

“I-“

 

“She did,” said Sungmin firmly. “She did and I saw it.”

 

No one said anything, as we all stared at Sungmin, running what he said over and over in our heads. All I felt was more anger and confusion, because like him, I remember I did put the folder in my bag and there was no way I left it on my desk. So how the did it end up there?

 

“Okay,” Yesung finally broke the silence. “I believe Sungmin.”

 

Ryeowook nodded, “He won’t argue for Jia-eun if he wasn’t sure himself.”

 

“Then how did the folder end up back on her desk?” an assistant asked with a confused look on her face.

 

Another silence.

 

“I’ll deal with this,” Jack said, holding up both of his hands, exasperated. “Everyone go back to work. The folder is not lost, which means the photos are not leaked or stolen, so there’s nothing to worry about anymore.” He looked at me after a pause and pointed, “but Jia-eun, we’ll talk about this later today.”

 

Great, I thought with remorse. I can almost see that death sentence hanging over my head.

 

Unable to bear the gazes and the people in the room any longer, I walked out of the studio and stood outside in the hallway to think – or actually, not think, because it hurt too much to think.

 

“Like what the ?” I asked myself. “Do I have amnesia or something? Jack is right… three documents in a week. .” I cover my face with both of my hands and slid down the wall.

“I’m so going to get fired.”

 

“No, you’re not”

 

I looked up and it was Leeteuk.

 

“Are you kidding? If my employee lost three documents in a week, I’d fire her!”

 

He stared at me, sighed and said, “Look, Jack gets attached to his coworkers really fast and I think he really likes you, so he’s not just going to let you go because of this.”

 

“But,” I argued, “he looked so angry just now.”

 

“Honestly, I find this whole thing a bit weird. You were fine for the past month – very diligent, responsible and punctual. You learnt really fast and worked well with Jack and I.”

 

“And then all of a sudden, I started ing things up.”

 

He nodded and leaned against the wall, “It’s just very not you.”

 

I looked up at him and asked, “So you believe that I didn’t lose those three documents?”

 

“So you didn’t lose those three documents?” he asked me back.

 

“I did” I replied and added slowly, “but I didn’t…”

 

He raised an eyebrow.

 

“Like I lost them, but I didn’t know how… I just don’t tend to lose things like that, you know? It’s like somebody is deliberately playing a joke on me.”

 

He was silent after that. I could tell he was thinking and suddenly felt bad that my misfortune is somehow burdening him. He looked tired with his eyes staring so intently into space and his lips slightly pursed. 

 

“Oppa,” I touched his arm slightly, “What are you thinking about?”

 

“Nothing,” he smiled slightly and straightened up. “Don’t worry, I’ll talk to hyung about this and he’ll understand.”

 

I nodded and he gave my head a small pat as he walked away. His hand felt warm and big and it made me feel a bit more reassured and safe.

 

I remained in the same position for a while longer, not knowing exactly what to do or how to deal with the situation. Suddenly, there was a buzz and I patted the back pocket of my jeans for my iPhone. Minyeon had sent me a text message:

 

“Told you that things would get ugly between you and the jealous assistants. But no worries, pretty girls alliance, remember? I’m on your side!! Stay strong!!”

 

Wait, so the assistants did this to me?

 

“Oh wow,” I mouthed, eyes widening in disbelief. “ just got real.”