Lose Yourself

Life's Become Fun Since You Showed Up (hiatus finished after two months)

 

*3rd Person*

Kai watched nervously as the new candidates filed haphazardly into his school, fresh and bright, unsuspecting smiles plastering their faces.

Meili had caught up beside him, carrying an even bigger smile than them all. Even to the girl who used to know of nothing but luxury, the main building to the academy was impressive to say the least. Located on the outskirts of the city, it easily caught all passerby’s’ attention, tinted glass walls contrasting pleasantly against freshly cut green lawns.  The rest of the campus stretched out behind it, smaller buildings dotting the landscape in front of the two.

Kai sighed once, feeling a whole new rush of nervousness wash over him as they entered the main gates.

“Aren’t you nervous?” he asked in disbelief, watching the younger girl skip happily to keep up with his flustered strides.

“Not really…Should I be?” she paused, hugging her sheet music to her chest in a new train of thought,

“Wahh, Kai hurry up! It’s already 20 past!”

He nodded, following her lead in through to the main reception. He was nervous, well, worried being the better word, about this whole thing.

Auditioning for SM Academy was no joke. The judging panel was comprised of the best teachers and talent scouts in the country, each known for their respective abilities in pinpointing potential through a singer’s single note, a dancer’s simple spin. The audition piece must be an original composition, or a unique and original set of choreography. Students spent weeks, even months, conjuring up inspiration for different pieces, weekends and holidays lost in the desperate search for something in their ability to give the judges some kind of reaction.

As for Meili, well, the only time Kai ever saw her perform was that small yet truly beautiful piece she danced as Minki when she thought he wasn’t looking. And although he believed in her ability tenfold, he had never once seen he come up with a routine for this.

Heck, she wasn’t even auditioning with a dance in the first place.

There was a terrible feeling lurking in the air around him, and he felt guilty letting himself bathe in the cloudiness. It wasn’t good that he doubted her, not believing that she would succeed, but Kai couldn’t help it. He remembered his own audition day, the hidden tears he and his friends shared at their rejection, the constant hours they spent practising together all seemingly in vain.

He would do anything to ensure that Meili would never experience that sickening pain of rejection.

Yet he couldn’t stop her. Not when that toothy grin constantly tugged at the corner of her lips, the light catching her eyes happily as she received her number card from the front desk.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Meili began as they followed the other students down the open corridors to the main hall.

“That our school seriously needs a new paint scheme?” Kai replied nervously, gesturing to the sheer white walls and glossy floors.

“Well yes…no…look, I know how strict this school is. I know how talented you have to be to ensure a place,” she caught his eyes, serious yet pleading, “I may not have the talent, or the stage presence, or whatever the heck they’re looking for,

but I still want to do this. Even if I don’t get in, I want to be able to say that I tried, you know? So quit tugging your eyebrows together. You’ll get wrinkles.”

Kai blinked once, amongst the midst of his surprise.

How was he supposed to argue against that?

 

After a quick ‘good luck’ and a fond pat on the head, Meili left for the main hall, leaving Kai to retreat to the viewing area for those who wanted to watch the auditions. These were taped, recorded and broadcasted around the school, the purpose being so that all the candidates could have a necessary taste of their soon-to-be classmates, their friends, their rivals.

He entered the room casually, the seats brimmed with parents and uncles and aunts and best friends and siblings all congregated to support their loved ones through a large LED television erected on the crimson bricked walls in front of them. He scanned the crowd quickly, easily recognising some of his classmates scattered around the group. Taking a seat near the front he jumped at sudden foreign contact, a long finger prodding his shoulder blades insistently.

Behind him sat a familiar blonde giant, all smiles and cheeriness etched on his face.

“You’re here for Meili too?” Kris chirped, slightly giddy from the atmosphere.

“I guess.”

“Have you heard her programme?”

“No.”

“…You still haven’t gotten over the Santa thing, have you?”

“…Nope.”

With that the screen in front of them came to life, blurred channels flashing unorganised pictures until the audition hall’s image surfaced, earning smiles from the parents and accomplished yelps from the younger audience as the audition sequence began.



 

“Meili?” The younger girl twirled around, a smile gracing her face as she quickly registered the sharp face in front of her.

“Himchan!” she squeaked happily, laughing as he pulled her in for a quick embrace.

“Let’s go find our seats, what number are you?”

“Thirty-seven, you?”

“I’m thirty-eight! We’re sitting together then, right?”

They found their seats easily, settling somewhat in the front-middle of the sea of potential SM Academy students. The hall was gorgeous, smooth wooden floors set against dark green, glassed walls, the ceiling reaching at least two floors above their heads. At the end of the hall a long, polished table sat, at which the four judges were housed, preparing their files and mentality for the mass of the one hundred students in front of them.

“Are you nervous?” Meili asked, noticing the blank and too-tense-to-be-emotionless look on Himchan’s face.

“J-just a little…” He brought his hand up in an attempt to console her, the violent shaking making his intention fail miserably.

She laughed softly, taking his hand in both of hers and holding it firmly between them.

“You have talent Himchan. The routine you showed me in the café was incredible, your ability and passion is enough to get you anywhere. All you have to do is make the judges see the same thing I’m seeing when I watch you dance. So be nervous, but don’t let it take control of you,” she met his eyes and smiled gently, “Okay?”

He nodded slowly, quickly becoming conscious of the heat that spread through his cheeks like embers.


“Alright! Can we have some quiet please? The auditions will now commence immediately, so if we could have the first participant?”

One by one the students made their way to the duct tape maker in the middle of the hall, answering some questions about their file and then continuing with their performance.

Both Meili and Himchan quickly found that their competition was ridiculously tough. Each participant had clearly been preparing diligently for this, calculated spins and vibrato soaked high C’s filling the auditorium. However, even through the onslaught of talent in front of them, neither were phased. They came here expecting to fight for their place after all.

“Alright, number thirty-seven please?” a clear voice echoed from the judges’ table.

Himchan smiled at Meili for courage before she scurried to the marker, unable to contain her happiness when she arrived.

This technically was her first stage, after all.

“Okay, Mary Elizabeth is it? Elizabeth, your profile is immaculate, just a couple of things. All your awards and achievements listed here are for ballet, as well as a few for some musical instruments, yes?”

The judges were young, this particular lady petite and sophisticated with soft curls and smoky make-up.

“That’s right.”

“Yet you’re singing for your audition….?”

Oh. So that’s what they were getting at.

“Ah, I had originally planned on dancing, but I’m much more comfortable doing this. Even though I haven’t entered any singing competitions, I’m confident I can perform well.”

“Well, okay then,” she smiles sweetly, “start whenever you’re ready then.”

Meili nods and hands her sheet music to the piano accompanist beside her, cringing when the slender lady squints in an attempt to read her old fourteen year old scrawl among the tea-cup rim stains and Tipp-Ex scribbles.

She makes her way back to the mark and takes a deep breath, letting the first familiar chords soak into her mind.

She waits for the feeling, usually around the end of the introduction, when she loses her senses in the crisp piano.

There. It’s here.

Her mind blurs and she’s suddenly forgotten where she is, hearing nothing but scales and notes and the orchestra that’s appeared in her mind.

This is her stage.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Fr6Jb_853s (Meili’s audition song)

 

She closes her eyes, breathing out the first few lyrics at first, getting used to the feel of her voice in , feeling the pain in those first few words that captures everyone in the room. She’s suddenly flying, raising her voice and as the chorus lets itself loose her voice grips her audience, gaining stunned and entranced stares,

Because this is Meili’s stage.

Kai watches her from his plastic chair, heart accelerating at a speed that he doesn’t want to acknowledge, because really he doesn’t know how to acknowledge anything but the girl singing on the screen in front of him.

Her voice is inhuman, almost angelic, in the way she’s entrancing every person within earshot.

Really, how much is she going to make him fall for her?

The song ends softly, and Meili returns to reality, high on her happiness and adrenaline.

If the judges were affected at all, they don’t show it, but the petite lady is biting her bottom lip, the corners of her lips threatening to rise slightly.

“You wrote that yourself?” she begins.

“Yes, when I was fourteen.”

The judges look at each other and nod slightly in some silent agreement.

“Well Mary Elizabeth…



…Welcome to SM Academy. We’ll be looking forward to what you have in store for us.”

 

Meili’s eyes widen dangerously, unable to process whatever the hell that woman just said to her but then oh-my-God it clicks and she’s made it in and the tears suddenly begin to prick her eyes as she makes her way down the corridor only to find Kai and Kris waiting for her halfway.

Instinctively she runs into Kai’s arms, crying tears of pure joy into his chest as he holds her tightly.

“You sang so beautifully,” he murmurs, gently curling strands of loose hair behind her ear as she clutches his shirt in response.

Kris pats her back gently, beaming proudly.

“You were incredible Shorty,” he breaths quietly.

Meili pulls away to face the familiar voice, tears falling harder at the sight of the blonde boy.

“Kris, you came too…”

“Of course I did, idiot,” he embraces her quickly, “come on, let’s go watch your friend’s audition before we miss it.”

They enter back into the viewing room, where Meili’s met with cheers and whoops from the small group there.

She smiles bashfully and breathes her thanks before focusing back onto the screen.

Himchan is at the marker, looking slightly shaky but his face paints strong determination through his eyes.

“Is this your first time performing? You don’t have any awards or achievements whatsoever on this,” the smoky-eyed lady holds up his file blankly.

“Yeah, it’s my first time,” he replies strongly.

“Well then. Whenever you’re ready.”

He nods at the piano accompaniment lady from before and she quickly pokes a button on the speaker, creating a low hum throughout the hall.

Himchan smirks and adjusts his baseball cap, waiting patiently for the base drum to kick in.

And when it does, magic becomes real.

Himchan’s eyes blaze and he moves, he moves with such passion that it stuns even himself.

He’s on fire and he loves it, making every move bigger, creating so much depth with each stomp and spin that he’s suddenly addicted to the feeling. Every movement is filled with his being, and as he reaches the end the fellow students are already cheering and clapping along, falling in love with the dancer that is Himchan.

And then suddenly it’s over and he’s completely breathless, clutching at his chest for air.

Incredible.

“Son, you have some raw talent there,” another judge begins speaking, a male with sharp features and cropped hair.

He pauses to once again nod silently with his fellow judges.

“I think we would be making a terrible mistake if we didn’t choose you. Welcome to SM Academy.”

“…Excuse me?”

“I said you’re in.”

“…Are you sure?” his disbelief refuses to let go.

“I’m sure! Now please go celebrate so we can continue the auditions.”

Himchan walks blindly out of the hall, letting the tears run freely as he meets the other two boys and Meili in the corridor, who has begun to cry a fresh new set of tears at his acceptance.

They hug tightly, Meili laughing at the fact that Himchan is bouncing from foot to foot from his adrenaline as they part.

“We did it! We really, really did it!” she cheers.

“I know! Can you believe it?!” he flails his arms around, trying to use up all this extra energy.

“Is Yongguk and Zelo here? Did they see you?”

“No, they had to watch the café while I was here. Oh God! I have to go tell them I got accepted!”

He dashes down through the hallway, stumbling twice on his shoelace that he’s too hyper to tie again.

“I’ll see you guys again soon!” he calls before throwing open the glass doors and bolting down the road.

“So…I know that Kai probably won’t approve of me being with you guys, but shall we go celebrate too?” Kris begins slowly.

Kai and Meili exchange a suspicious grin that suddenly makes Kris feel extremely uneasy.

 

“Kris, you’re buying us the fancy cheese!”


@ jonghyunluv: Heheh you know at the start Kris was supposed to be a guest for the one chapter, but after like, 3 weeks of thinking I realised I like his character waay too much xD So yeah, not telling! xDD

@YourObsessionSuju: Yaay finally someone who can relate! TT.TT I want to hug you! TT.TT hehe BAP will show up a lot more often from now on too!! ^^

@ siyeon: Uwahh thank you so much! TT.TT KYAAAAH HYEON JAE FANGIRLS UNITE! xDD I kind of wish he had more parts in the drama >.< But it's okay I guess~ I'm really short on time right now, but I'll update as soon as I get time during the week ^^ 

@ Coralie_X_SHINee: He's sooooooo cute!! :3 He makes me want to cry he's so cool OTL *cough* Uwahh I can imagine! O.o Is university life really different? :3 Hehe I think so xD Their comeback was a lot different than I expected, but it was so sweet! I liked it~ ^^

Hello everyone!
First off sorry I couldn't update last weekend, I'm in my last year of secondary school and they're seriously starting to lay on the pressure TT.TT But I'll keep updating whenever I can! ^^ I made this chapter a bit longer than usual, I think I got a little bit carried away, but it was really fun to write, so I hope you enjoy it! ^^
Dude...TTBY..it's over...and there's that big void that won't go away..OTL Does anyone else have that? It happened to me with Shut Up Flower Boy Band too xD
As for the ending..well...it ended I guess xD I never actually finished Hana Kimi, so I was really anticipating this ending, but...yeah it was fine I guess xD They tied up the main story really nicely, but kind of left all their sub plots hanging..like, does Hana(?) ever get over what happened? (lol don't want to spoil anything!) and also is Hyeon Jae's family all fine? And why did Tae Joon have an accident in the first place? I need s'more! xD

Anyway, *cough* I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you all for reading! ^^

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Thank you!
theconfusedone
I can't update this weekend...I'm completely swamped with work TT.TT I'll try my best to next weekend though! ^^

Comments

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Coralie_x_KPOP
#1
Chapter 37: Ya, you better be taking care of yourself!! And dont stress about updating :)
fisheylove501
#2
Chapter 36: omg, he kissed her! >.< thank goodness that you're better now! :) Merry late Christmas~ >.<
hinastar
#3
Chapter 36: Tofu strawberry jelly cheesecake sounds delicious!!. Thanks for the update! Author-nim you shouldn't stay up to late it's bad for your health. Hope your parents get well and everyone has a merry Christmas and a happy new year!!! :-)
Coralie_x_KPOP
#4
Chapter 36: MERRY CHRISTMASSEUUUU :D
Go Kai, go Kai, go Kai! ^^ Kai and Meili, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G xD
D.O? He's an awesome cook, maybe that's why ;)
niel_gd23 #5
Chapter 36: He finally did it!
jonghyunluv
#6
Chapter 36: DKFJFJDJD OK HEEHEE hahahahshs the whole sleeptalking where she said we forgot to bring the queen her pudding made me think of Alice in Wonderland xD
Priscy123
#7
Chapter 36: *sings be mine by infinite*
kyaaa!! finally, kai makes the move ><
ngehehe... :3 ahh the fluff...
sarangmida
#8
Chapter 36: I started reading this ff a while ago and fell in love with it! honestly i cant wait for you to update! i love it soooooo much ^_^ please update soon! hwaiting and happy holidays! (sorry i deleted it by accident OTL)
Coralie_x_KPOP
#9
Chapter 35: Well yeah, but it makes me feel guilty anyways! But holidays are soon, so i'll try to update, even though i have to study for exams ;)
Oh my, who is Kris getting married with? IT SHOULD BE MEEEE xD lol jks, if i got to marry one EXO member, it would be Lay or Xiumin :D
jonghyunluv
#10
Chapter 35: OH MY GOODNESS I'M SO PROUD OF YOU FOR UPDATING TODAY FORGET BUYING YOURSELF A CAKE I'LL BUY ONE FOR YOU!