Part 6

 

Youngmin’s POV

 

I can’t believe it. It all seems to happen so fast. And the most painful part of all is that Kwangmin agreed to let Joomi meet our parents. Are his feelings for Joomi already that deep and irrevocable? I had completely lost my mind and grabbed him without thinking.

 

“No! You can’t! You can’t bring her to our home! I don’t want it!”

 

I pleaded desperately. My voice broke along the way and I can’t help the tears from streaming out of my eyes.

 

“Why not? What’s wrong Youngmin? Tell me.”

 

I can hear and feel the genuine concern in his voice that I had almost broke down completely in his arms. He was about to touch me when I suddenly got back to my senses. I realized that I had made a mistake…a mistake that will destroy my relationship with him as a brother.

 

I backed away and asked him to forget what I had said even though I knew it was impossible. I dashed out of the room before he can prevent me and ran out of the dorm while crying. I heard quick footsteps behind me and I hope it wasn’t Kwangmin. I was already outside the building when suddenly, that person grabbed me on my wrist and when I turned around, it was Donghyun-hyung.

 

“H-Hyung…”

 

“Come with me,” he said in a strict but concerned tone. He quickly hailed a cab and the two of us headed towards the Starship Entertainment Building. Along the way, he had called Kwangmin and told him not to worry about me. I could hear Kwangmin’s worried voice over the speaker’s phone and he was begging Donghyun-hyung to tell him our location. My mood elevated a little knowing that my twin still cared about me. Or maybe he just wanted me to explain about what happened a while ago…When we arrived, we went straight to the empty dance studio.

 

“You can let your feelings out here. No one will see.”

 

The tears that dried up moments ago returned like torrents of rain. I dropped on the floor and hugged my knees close to my chest.

 

“I screwed up hyung! I-I wasn’t able to control myself! Now Kwangmin will hate me! What should I do? Stupid me! Stupid feelings! I thought I moved on already but I never did!”

 

Donghyun-hyung sat beside me as I continued to cry like a child. He patted and soothed my back throughout my ordeal. After a few minutes, my cries died down to soft sobs and sniffs.

 

“I-I’m s-sorry hyung…you must be t-tired of me…”

 

He chuckled, “Of course not Youngmin. I will never get tired of you even if you throw tantrums everyday.”

 

I hit him lightly in the arm. I never told Donghyun-hyung about my forbidden feelings for my twin. We never talked about it but I knew that he sensed the burden that I’m carrying all along. He really is a leader who can connect to each of us even if we don’t tell him the whole thing.

 

“Youngmin, do you want to know a secret?”

 

“Hmm…what secret?”

 

“I like you.”

 

I instantly turned my head towards him to check if he was joking or not, “H-hyung…a-are you trying to make me laugh? Because it’s not working…”

 

“Silly, why would I joke about this?”

 

“You…you really like me?!”

 

“Okay, that kinda hurts. I’ve given you all my attention these days and yet you didn’t notice.”

 

“I…I’m sorry hyung..I, uhm…”

 

He chuckled again and ruffled my hair, “It’s alright. I didn’t intend to tell you anyway because I know that you already love someone else.”

 

“Then why are you telling me now? Do you want me to give up my feelings for him?”

 

“No…of course not. I just let the selfish part of me talk.”

 

“Selfish part?” I was really getting confused and I have no idea where Donghyun-hyung’s words are leading to.

 

“Whenever I’m with you, I tried to keep this selfish part of me restrained just like what you do when you’re with Kwangmin. Because if I didn’t, I would have pushed my feelings to you even if you don’t want it.”

 

“Hyung…I don’t know what to say…”

 

“You don’t have to say anything. But I want you to do something. I want you to do the same to Kwangmin. Let your selfish part speak too.”

 

Suddenly, Eunmin’s words resounded in my head, “There are things in this world that we selfishly keep because we know that we deserve it.” Is being selfish really the way out? Do I even deserve Kwangmin? Selfishly speaking, hell yeah! I deserve each and every part of his being. I had endured immeasurable pains just to be by his side and make sure he’s happy. I deserve some happiness too, don’t I? If he doesn’t accept my feelings, I know that something good will still come out of it no matter how hard and painful it will be.

 

Due to this overwhelming new resolve, I can’t help but hug Donghyun-hyung for helping me with this.

 

“Hyung! Thank you! Thank you so much for keeping up with me selflessly. I owe you one.”

 

He hugged me back, “Just do what you have to do. If Kwangmin makes you cry again I hope you’ll take my offer to be your boyfriend.”

 

I laughed, “Okay.”

 

 

Donghyun’s POV

 

We were on a taxi again, heading back to our dorm to prepare for today’s afternoon schedule. Youngmin’s eyes are still red and puffy from too much crying but I can see the calmness in his face now. I’m so glad he finally made a decision…even though that decision will hurt me. But I know it will hurt me more if I saw any of my beloved members in pain.

 

Halfway, my phone rang. Minwoo was calling, “Hello?”

 

“Hyung! Uhm, how’s Youngmin-hyung? I heard from Jungmin-hyung about the incident earlier.”

 

“Don’t worry, I talked to him already. He’s good and we’re on the way back to the dorm now.”

 

“Thank goodness. As soon as Kwangmin returns I’ll smash his stupid head to a large rock!”

 

I laughed at my dongsaeng who doesn’t even sound terrifying because of his small voice, “Wait, Kwangmin’s not yet there? I told him to go home already.”

 

“Aish, I don’t know with that guy! Anyway, I gotta prepare hyung. Take care on the way home.”

 

“Alright Minwoo, thanks.”

 

“Is your girlfriend worried about you?” I turned to Youngmin and he has a teasing smile on his face.

 

“What girlfriend?”

 

“Minwoo’s your girlfriend right? You said so in W Academy.”

 

“That’s just fan service, you know that. And he actually asked about your condition, not mine.”

 

He chortled, “Take care on the way home.” He mimicked Minwoo’s last sentence in our phone conversation. I think Youngmin’s getting his revenge from all the teasing he received from the members about his skinship with his brother. But I wasn’t even part of it!

 

 

Kwangmin’s POV

 

The afternoon activity that we had was an interview for a foreign magazine that I didn’t even bother remembering which country it was for. Don’t get me wrong though. I love our international fans but right now, I’m itching to have a proper conversation with my twin! My mind was in chaos that I don’t even know if my answers from the interview made sense. I guess that will just make my image of “Little Prince from Another Planet” even stronger. Finally, the interviewer concluded the lengthy discussion and we all prepared to go home. The members were all settling themselves on the van while I went to our manager.

 

“Youngmin and I will be going somewhere for a while. Is it okay?”

 

The manager thought for a few seconds before answering, “Since we don’t have other schedules I guess that’s fine. But as always, be careful from the public eyes alright?”

 

“Yes sir! Thank you!”

 

I turned to my twin and he was standing awkwardly beside the van, waiting for me. I hope he wasn’t feeling tired and sleepy yet.

 

“Let’s go?”

 

He nodded and we walked out of the place. I haven’t actually thought of a place where we could go and have an intimate talk. It was dark now and I guess a café sounds good. But then, a special and perfect place popped out in my mind.

 

“Just follow me okay?” He nodded again as a reply.

 

I led him towards the playground that I went to a while ago. There were obviously no more kids because it was already a bit late for them. Even though the benches were unoccupied, I still settled the both of us behind the huge trunk I sat by hours ago.

 

I cleard my throat before speaking, “So…Youngmin…you know what I want to talk about right?” I actually want to talk about a lot of things but I want to settle on one matter first.

 

He nodded for the third time today, “It’s about my actions a while ago right?”

 

“Yes…why were you so against with Joomi meeting mom and dad? Don’t you like her?”

 

He was silent for a few seconds and I thought he wouldn’t answer. I was about to speak again when he breathed deeply as if preparing himself for a long speech, “Please promise me first that if you don’t like whatever you’ll hear from me, you’ll still consider me as your older brother.”

 

I was taken aback from what he said, “Of course! Why would I even-“

 

“Please promise me Kwangmin…”

 

“A-Alright…I promise…”

 

“Good. Because I’ll let the selfish part of me talk, so please listen to him.”

 

Selfish part? What is he talking about?

 

“I didn’t want you to introduce her to our parents because I know that it will be the end of me.”

 

His first statement made me want to react already but I held it in so he can let it all out.

 

“It will be good for the two of you but not for me. Joomi is a really nice girl, almost perfect. I know that mom and dad would like her instantly. And once they do, I have the feeling that you will pursue that relationship for a very long time. You might even get married with her. And I don’t want it…just the thought of it kills me. For the longest time I had tolerated your lovesick attitude with different girls. Just being by your side was enough for me. Your constant care and affection were enough for me to live through even though I know you would never see me the same way I do. But the truth is…I’ve always wanted you for myself. This selfish part of me tells you that I love you and you can’t be with anyone else. But the rational part of me tells both of us that it’s impossible and you should go and find your own happiness.”

 

He was crying again but not of pain this time. I can see relief in his eyes. It’s as if he was ready to accept any answer even if it would hurt him severely. I almost forgot that he was waiting for my reply until he stood and turned his back on me.

 

“I know that this is wrong and you have a girlfriend that you love dearly right now. I just wanted to tell my real feelings even though it’s hopeless. Just forget what I said and let’s return to the way it has always been.”

 

He was about to walk away but I quickly held his wrist and made him face me. I hugged him tightly afraid that he would slip out of arms in a second, “Return to the way it has always been? Back to the time again when you’re always hurt and I’m always confused? How can you be so cruel to yourself?”

 

He let his head drop to my shoulder as he clutched the both sides of my shirt. I can feel that he’s tired already, both emotionally and physically. “Do I have a choice? We’re twins and we’re both boys. You’re straight and you have a girlfriend. This is just impossible…hopeless…”

 

“How can this be hopeless?! All this time I have always asked myself about my feelings for you. And everytime I would do that I would fool myself with different excuses. But after what you’ve told me a while ago, I finally realized that if I would have to choose between my girlfriends and you, I’d choose you because I treasure you the most. I’m sorry you had to go through all those torments because of my stupidity. But please, don’t ask me to forget about this. I wanted this too. I love you too.”

 

He moved back a little to stare at my face. We were both crying because of our pent up emotions that we were finally able to let out. “Do…do you really mean that?”

 

“I’ve never been this sure,” and without thinking twice, I leaned forward and pressed my lips towards his soft ones. It was just pure bliss. It was a feeling I’ve never felt before. And just like always, he had proven to me once more that he is better than all of the girlfriends that I had, way better. I immediately wanted to go further but I don’t want to rush things yet…especially when we just had an emotional confession.

 

I brushed the trace of tears from his face and gave him my loveliest smile, “I love you Youngmin. You’re mine okay?”

 

He laughed adorably, “I love you too and shouldn’t I be the one saying that?”

 

We sat again by the tree with him sitting between my legs and me hugging him from behind. There couldn’t be a more perfect moment than this. He suddenly chuckled out of blue.

 

“Why are you laughing?”

 

“Oh, I just suddenly remember the little kid I met a month ago on this exact place.”

 

“You’re talking about Eunmin right?”

 

“You know him?!”

 

“Yeah…the kid with that old robot. He gave me quite a lecture a while ago.”

 

“Hey! Don’t insult his robot! I learned a lot from it.”

 

“So you did too? We must treat him some ddeokbokki then.”

 

“Ddoekbokki? Don’t kids like ice cream better?”

 

“He’s no kid! He sounded like a hundred year-old philosopher who got stuck in a child’s body.”

 

He laughed and I just couldn’t get enough of that sound. He continued talking but I wasn’t listening to him anymore. I just observed his perfect beautiful face under the moonlight and I knew right then why my past relationships never worked. I was never meant to be with them. I was meant to be with this guy inside my arms who happened to be my precious twin.

_________________________________

 

done~ TvT 

once again, thank you... THANK YOU so much for reading this!

especially to the commenters and subscribers for showing interest in this fic~

and most especially to jotwins0424 ! 

i hope the ending was satisfying enough :3