Upon reading the letter, I just died

Thoughts were slowly sinking in. I haven't come back to life yet.

I felt like everything heavy fell on me withouth giving me such warning. It crashed me; bone to bone, flesh to flesh and feelings to feelings. I regret disliking that show and now it had come its way to get its revenge on me, It worked, actually. I was pretty shaken up with the thought of getting myself into that show. I never knew, ofcourse, I was rumored to be in that show, and now they're cleaning up. but why me? Jooyeon unni was there too. I could reject the offer, couldn't I? I wasn't ready for any of this, furthermore, I wasn't ready to get married.....to someone I barely knew. I haven't had any plans on marriage, not just yet. Maybe Lizzy could go for me? Aish. I don't know what to think anymore.

As I came back to life, I could feel they were shocked too. I could here all of them, blathering about the sudden news. I looked up to face them, and much to my dismay, they were all smiling, jumping, laughing and flattering as if we won number one in any music program. No, this couldn't be. They would support me on whatever my decision be, wouldn't they?

"Nana unnie! Accept this!" Lizzy vigorously shook my shoulders and woke me up from my worried pondering.

"Yah, Nana, you should. This is a big break for you" Raina unnie added, smiling like there's nothing to smile for tomorrow.

I could see everyone's excited for this crap. Am I the only one who's not giving a damn about this? No, I still won't do it.

Then Kahi unnie, being the father of the group, sat beside me. She seemed to feel what I was feeling and gave me a not-so-sure expression about it. Atlast, there's someone who's at my side. It's kahi unnie, they'd listen to her, right?

"Nana, you should do it"shocked. I thought kahi unni and I were both on the same side? what's this. She patted my back, waiting for my answer. but it seemed like my mind was stopping me from speaking. Even my mind agreed to this stupid idea.

"Maybe we should talk about this back at the dorm?" Thankyou, Jung ah unnie. You're forever my savior.You saved me from the tension earlier, and now, you saved me again from being squashed and buried alive. 

Everyone agreed. I didn't have the courage to speak as the whole conversation took place. It's a good thing I could rest my thoughts of being eaten whole on the way to our dorm, but just what I expected, I wasn't spared.

"Nana unnie, I wonder who's going to be your husband". Eyoung, our maknae, wondering who would be the lucky husband. Fortunately, no one would suffer.

"Maybe, Siwon ssi?Omo!" Again, lizzy, blushing and feeling excited but I could tell she was slightly jealous.

"Anni, Seungho ssi" I felt myslef blush. I admit it, besided nickhun oppa, I've always kept an eye on Seungho oppa. I like him because he's different. and he shares this ice cold image. Jooyeon unni must have known me too well.

"Aish these kids, let Nana rest for awhile. See, she hasn't spoken a single word since the letter came". Three points for Jung ah unnie. Unnie, I promise, I will cook for you later.

Eventually, I dozed myself to sleep.

"Unnie wake up, we're here" Eyoung patted.

"Thankyou, Eyoungie."Atlast. My tongue seemed to cooperate.

As we took out all of our stuff inside the dorm. I felt I have come back to my senses very well. I was running, bugging at everyone and telling jokes that made the whole dorm echo its laughter, then Uee unnie brought the we got married issue.

"Nana, what do you think about it?"

"I....I....think it's good" Of course, I lied the nervousness made me stutter like nutts, then I could hear their sigh of relief. This ain't going easy.

"Good, I'll give you advice on how to deal with your husband. At first, it wasn't easy but later on you'll get used to it" Uee unnie continuously blabbed about her we got married experiences. I didn't listen cause my mind, as usual, went blank again.

"I think it's good but I won't do it" I blurted out with all my guts nearing to snap out from its chord. All eyes were on me as I made my decision. Some looked regretful, some looked okay-it's-up-to-you-anyway. I, myself, was able to sigh in relief.

I prepared myself for the meeting tomorrow. I had gathered all the courage I would have needed. I stopped myself from thinking for awhile and succumb to sleep.

It was morning. Everything was beautiful except for my mood. I wanted the meeting to end up already. As I made my way up to the 16th floor of MBC' building, I came across with F.T Island's Choi Jong jun ssi, I never thought he's that good looking upclose, what' was he doing here anyway?, whatever, I kept myself from being focus on my goal, to say no.

"Oh Nana ssi, you're here" The P.d of We got married welcomed me.

"Annyeong Haseo" I bowed to everyone and decided to relax all my worries off by sitting down.

"So I assume you received the letter yesterday, it's good you came"

" Ah yes" is all I could answer. It was never easy to deal with stuff like this.

"So what's your decision?" He asked me eagerly.

"I...I..." I came all the way down here to stutter. Great. Just say you won't accept it Nana, I was practically talking to myself, but before I could respond, the P.d interrupted me " Nana ssi, I hope you will agree to this. It will not just make your career in good terms, but also After school's.. Have you thought of that possibility?"

After all, he's right. It's not just mine. Everyone would benefit into my acceptance of this. We've been regarded as the pussycat dolls of korea because of our matured, y concept but it was never enough to please the market. We only won number one once, it was way back because of you era and after that, we have won nothing besides dance battles. I''ve been too selfish, not thinking the benefit of my members. The P.d's statement made me think twice but I've already made my decision, however; I can't deny the fact that he's right.

"I will do it" It came out my mouth like lighting. How could I say that, this wasn't what I planned.

"Good decision nana ssi, we'll see you you next week for the clearing ups and first shoot" He shook my hand and bid me farewell but before I could forget, I remembered something that made my stomach churn.

"Ah ahjussi, may I know who will be my husband?" I asked. Legs shaking and hands trembling

"Maybe it'll be better if it's a surprise" He smiled and winked at me like I've got the worst case of introduction to one's husband. This is crazy. I have yet to know my unlucky husband not until next week. They are not letting me go that easy.