Title:  Torment
Group:  2AM
Pairing:  Seulong+Eunchae[Fictional]
Rating: NC-17
Warnings:  Mature Themes [Cutting and attempts of suicide]
Genre: AU, Romance,
Summary: Betrayal is a sharp blade that cuts deeply without mercy especially in first love

                Betrayal is a sharp blade that cuts deeply without mercy especially in first love. Perhaps if she’d had dated before him this event wouldn’t have been so terrible but he was her first in many ways, in love and in bed. Eunchae crumbled on the day she found her first love in bed with a stranger. Outside she was a block of ice with a heart in encased in stone and on the inside she was a weak, hurt child.  Im Seulong was the one to break her.

Enticed by the body of another, in a moment of weakness, he bedded a stranger in the bed of his lover. Whether it be from a fear of commitment or a lapse of judgment it had been done and there was nothing he could regret. And he never did regret it not with that strange, not with the handful of women that flew in after her. He didn’t learn to regret his mistake until her love for him turned to a kind of hatred for him.

“I’m sorry,” his deep, husky voice invaded her ears.

“I won’t forgive you, so leave now,” her voice was equally low but filled with ice. It pained her to even hear his voice filtered the pattering of the rain.

“I’m sorry. Saranghaeyo. Please forgive me,” he attempted again.

“No,” her tone was final and clear, although it pained her to say that word. It was stupid but she still loved him which gave her even more reason to break it off now while she still had a chance of healing from the bruise he caused on her heart. Being betrayed once broke her, if she was ever betrayed again she would die.

“I’m sorry for bothering you,” the meaning of Eunchae’s words dawned on him, he was hated.

“Then stop bothering me. If you really care about my feelings never appear before my eyes again,” she spoke coldly. It was a stab at her own heart, those bitter words leaving , but it was better to end with a clean break that would give them a chance to heal.

He nodded in reply even if she didn’t see it the scuffling sounds of him walking away were clearer than words. Seulong walked in the sprinkling filled with regret. He dated seven girls in the span of six weeks and broke up with them all within a few days, there was always something missing in those relationships. Love was the missing element and the most important one.   

Entering his apartment, he dropped into the high stool in the kitchen. In front of him sat a container of blades and almost playfully he pulled on out. Staring at the sharp glint of the knife her words floated back to him: never appear in front of my eyes again.

“But I want to… the only way I’ll stay away is if I die,” Seulong muttered to himself as a dark thought took form.

“It only takes one slash and I’ll really never appear before again,” he spoke unstably. He flipped the blade on its tip and spun it between his fingers intoxicated by the thought. Watching the sharp blade turn towards him then away, fragments of fear embed itself in him.

“It must hurt,” he spoke weakly, he was afraid of pain. His weakness and agliophobia were the reasons why he strayed from her. He was new to real love, to real commitment; he was terrified his commitment was misplaced and that the relationship would later cause him grief.

“I can always test it,” he whispered, a test like that first girl was a test to see if he truly in love. Picking the blade up, he began sharpening the weapon as a slab of metal. It flew back and forward growing shinier with each movement until it glowed from its sharpness. Jerking up his soaked jacket, he expose an expansion of chilled flesh. Running the knife across his forearm, it stung painfully leaving behind a slash of red. It was a shallow cut that barely bleed and welted, however, it stung horribly for a short period of time.

Cling-cling-cling his hand shook with the weapon in it. He was afraid of the pain so terribly afraid. That tiny ten second sting scared him the thought of slitting his own neck made him almost wet himself.

“Ten seconds, a minute, of pain is better than living with your heart in pain right?” with those words he jerked the kitchen utensil across his jugular. A flash of red-hot pain burned through him then a feeling of melancholy settled on him. The sensation of blood pulsing from his body felt like chocolate melting over the tongue. As the chill grew in his bones he out.

Brrr-brrrrrEunchae’s cell went off for the first time in ages. She stared at the phone a moment before picking it up. The chilling voice of her elder said, “Seulong tried to kill himself do you have any idea why?”

Thud,she heard her heart pound loudly. Seulong trying to kill himself astounded her.

“How could I know? We aren’t dating anymore,” she replied coldly, keeping up her tough façade.

“He said keeps saying your name... um… never mind sorry for bothering you,” Jokwon coughed, a dam of emotion hidden behind his words.    

“Goodbye, oppa,” she whispered still in shock.

“Wait! Before you hang up just listen to me. Come visit him just once that’s all I ask,” Jokwon begged softly.

“I’ll consider it,” she spoke coolly and hung up the phone. Taking one deep breath, she rushed off to the hospital. By the time she entered the room she had lost all her resolve and cool composure. One question was in : Had he attempted that because of her words? When Jokwon had mentioned Seulong trying to kill himself her earlier words “never appear before my eyes again” circled through her head.  Watching the beeping machinations surrounding his pale frame made her guilty.

“I should have told him I forgave him,” she whispered to no one her honest words. She had forgiven him sadly that was true but she had no forgiven herself for ever pushing him into the arms of another. It was a typical my boyfriend cheats on me and it’s my fault relationship.

“I’m sorry, Eunchae,” a weak whisper rose from his unconscious lips causing tears to leak from the girl’s eyes.

“Don’t be sorry,” she replied and placed a light kiss on his forehead.

“Don’t be sorry,” she repeated before settling into a seat. She would wait for him to wake up and discourage him from ever doing something so scary. As if Seulong felt her presence in the room waiting he opened his eyes.  

“Why are you here?” he was afraid that she was just a apparition created by his unstable mind.

Her voice clogged in her first few attempts of speaking until she settled for the cold tone she developed in the time they were apart.

“I’m giving you a second chance so never scare me again,” she spoke coldly but her voice still betrayed a fragment of her worry.

“Thank you,” he replied full of understanding.

“Don’t make me regret my choice,” she commented.

“I won’t I promise,” he swore. They weren’t magically fixed but they both would make the effort to mend their wounds, both self-inflicted and inflicted on each other.

A/N: The end wasn't the happiest, but it's appropriate don't you think? I hope you enjoy your story. 

MY MIDTERMS ARE THIS WEEK /cries