It’s been four years and here I am, an empty shell. Living but not really. Ever since you left, I lost all feeling. I went numb. I wake up every morning with this hollow feeling in my chest. I wish I can go back to the days where I was actually happy, to the days where I saw your smile. To the days when you told me you love me. Those days are gone now. You left and you took my heart with you. Even if I go out with other girls, I still can’t forget you. No one can even come close. I still think of you from time to time. I’m looking for you in them which I know is unfair and wrong but I can’t help it and I can’t do anything about it either.

The ringing of my phone snapped me out of my thoughts. I checked the caller ID and did a double take. Are my eyes deceiving me? Is it really her? My heart was beating like crazy like it’s going to burst out and leave my body.

“hello?” I can’t hide the surprise in my voice. “Hey Jae. How are you? I’m back in Seoul. “ came the voice I missed so much. She sounded the same and my heart skipped a beat to the sound of her voice. “Oh really?” is all I could say. My mind seriously stopped working. “Yes. Want to meet up for old times’ sake?” she asked me with a hint of hesitation in her voice. “Sure. meet me at Bum’s story.” I sounded way too eager and I mentally face palmed myself. “Okay. I’ll see you then.” And then she hung up. I stared at the phone for a few minutes. I can’t believe she called and I’m going to see her soon. I hurriedly got ready and went out of the house all the while trying to calm my beating heart.

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I saw her when I arrived at Bum’s story. She didn’t notice me at first and suddenly I feel so nervous that my palms are all sweaty. She turned around and finally saw me and smiled. I think I stopped breathing for a second and smiled back at her. how can she still be so beautiful?? I am amazed at her beauty and felt more alive than I ever been. After a few minutes, a waiter came and took our order and we updated each other on what we have been doing in our lives. I found out that she’s still single and was back because of business. She is going to be running one of the hotels her parents owned. Then before we knew it, time flew and it was time for us to say goodbye…. Again.

I gave her a ride to the officetel she is staying. We were silent during the drive but my thoughts were all a mess. Now she’s back, I want to see her more often. I want her back in my life again. I don’t want to lose her again. We got to her place after a few minutes and I was reluctant to let her go. I reached out for her hand and stopped her from getting out of the car. She looked at me surprised. “~~~~~ I missed you a lot these past years. I haven’t forgotten you. not once. When you left, things weren’t the same. I wasn’t the same. You made me feel alive again. Have you forgotten about me? Don’t you feel anything anymore? I still love you….. “

I confessed and looked at her intensely. She was surprised at my confession and just looked at me. I waited for a few seconds but she still didn’t say anything.  The silence is killing me. “please say something.” She lowered her head and looked at our hands intertwined. “I missed you too. I thought you have forgotten about me… in fact, I didn’t expect you to pick up and meet me… but I’m glad you did. I’m glad you told me because I still love you too.” She smiled, her eyes teary. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and pulled her into my arms then kissed her with all the longing I have been keeping in my heart. This time… this time… I will never let you go… thank you for coming back to me. 

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