Her soft fingers gently his soft darks locks. Slowly, it moved to the bridge of his nose, cheeks, and finally landed on his pulp lips. The pad of her thumb his bottom lip. She continued to admire his angelic features as he continued to lay motionless on her lap.

She stared at his closed eyes and noticed how puffy they were due to lack of sleep. A small smile grazed her lips as she brushed her fingers over his, which were placed on her knee.

They were on the couch in her apartment. It was dark. The only source of light came from the dimmed lights hanging on the ceiling. It is 4 am and she couldn’t fall asleep. Not after what happened.

The vibrations of her mobile phone followed by the loud ring caused her to jolt awake. Groggily her right hand searched the bedside table for the source the disruptions came from. She grabbed it and brought it to her face, the bright light blinding her squinty vision. She flipped around on her stomach and propped her elbows up on her pillow and looked at her phone once more.

The bright light stared right back at her. She wasn’t expecting to see the name shining on her screen. Quickly coming to her senses, she answered the call.

“Hello?” Her voice was lower than usual due to the fact that she was still half asleep.

“…” Silence came from the other end.

“Did something happen?” Worry washed over her as she quickly sat up.

“I’m sorry for waking you up, but…can you open the door?” He stated softly.

“Yeah sure be there in a minute.”

Briefly, she gathered herself and arrived at the front door of her cozy apartment. She didn’t even bother to make herself presentable and still had her pjs on, an oversized t-shirt and shorts. Her arm swung the door open and was welcomed by the man who disturbed her sleep. He slowly brought his head up and she was expecting his usual toothy smile, instead it was replaced with a weak grin. Something she was not used to at all. She didn’t need her intuition to tell her that something was wrong.

Something was dearly wrong.

Kim Joonmyun always smiled.

“Co…come in.” She ushers him towards the couch. As he brushed past her a scent of alcohol lingered from him, but she knew he wasn’t drunk.

He plops down on the couch and she cautiously takes the empty seat next to him. Joonmyun leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees, while his hands covered his face.

It was silent. Noone said a word. She didn’t know what to say or do seeing Joonmyun like this. It worried her. Never in the four years they’ve known each other has she seen Joonmyun this down.

Seeing as he wasn’t going to open up, she decided to make the first move. Her hand gently grasped his shoulder. “Joomyun ah. What’s wrong? What happened exactly?”

A sigh escaped his lips and he removed his hands from his face. “Yoojin. Yoojin…said we should stop seeing each other.” The last part came out almost in a whisper, but it was just barely loud enough for her to hear it. She stared at how his face cringed in pain when those words came out.

She didn’t know what to feel exactly. A part of her was rejoicing from the news and another part of her was writhing in agony seeing the one she loves experience such heartbreak. “Wh…what, that can’t be why?” She managed to stutter.

Joonmyun’s hands grabbed the sides of his head as he shook it from side to side. “I don’t know!” He said, frustration taking over his usual gentle voice. “She said things aren’t going to work out between us anymore. And that I’m not the guy she wants to be with.” He continued. “Why am I so incompetent?! I’m a horrible boyfriend. I can’t get anything right. I’m not good looking, caring, or romantic. I at everything!” Hot tears begin to flow down his flawless cheeks. She brings her hand to his face and wipes the streams away, pulling his face towards her. Her eyes scan his face and lands on his glassy eyes.

“Listen to me! You are everything above and more than that! Okay?!” Her arms wrap around his body bringing him close as she gently pats his back. He returns the hug and holds her tight, chin on her shoulder as endless tears continue to pour.

“Don’t talk about yourself like that. You are perfect. I’m sure you will find someone better.”

“I…can’t. I …can’t live...without…her. I really…love…her, I …really…do.” He says between sobs. She feels her heart constrict. As if seeing him like this wasn’t enough to make her heartache. Those words pierced her heart making it difficult to breathe. Her vision began to fog up and her heart continued to slowly shred. She swallows and bites her bottom lip holding in the tears that were eager to leak out.

Her hand moves up and down soothing him until his tears slowly come to a halt.

Not many words were exchanged. Only the silence of the night spoke as Joonmyun lay on her lap as she hushed him to sleep.

Rays of light were beginning to creep into the room creating stripped patterns on the walls and carpet. The back of her head met the couch as her eyes wandered on the ceiling. Her mind couldn’t stop thinking about Joonmyun. She wondered what was so great about Yoojin for Joonmyun to fall so hard for her. She does admit that Yoojin is really pretty from the pictures she has seen , but was her personality just as beautiful? Beautiful enough to deserve Joonmmyun? Thoughts like these make her think that she too doesn’t deserve Joonmyun.

She tried to forget him when he told her about his relationship, but she couldn’t. Just like how Joonmyun can’t live without Yoojin, she can’t live without Joonmyun. She hates herself for being so weak. But she hates Yoojin more for stealing Joonmyun’s heart—because she knows Joonmyun’s heart has no room for her.

Joonmyun stirs and his eyes open. “Good morning.” He gets up and sits on the couch. She mentally whines about the sudden loss of heat and wishes he could lay on her like that forever. “Ahh good morning to you too.” He replies in a rough voice. “I’m sorry about last night.” His head hangs in embarrassment.

“No worries! That’s what friends are for right?” She gave him a forced smile and hoped he didn’t notice it.

“Thanks for always being there for me, friend.” He gave her a warm smile. The smile that always makes her melt. But she didn’t melt this time. Her heart sunk when he said that word: friend.

Joonmyun’s phone began to vibrate on the coffee table. Both pair of eyes fell on it and saw who the incoming call came from. Joonmyun hesitated. Her eyes were pleading for him not to pick up the call. And of course he did.

Her mind went blank. She didn’t pay attention to the conversation between the two. All she saw was how Joonmyun’s face lit up. The Kim Joonmyun she knew was back. He had his genuine smile on. It hurt knowing that she wasn’t the one that was making him smile like that. Shortly the call ended and she came back to her senses when Joonmyun called her name.

“Yoojin apologized and wants to get back together!” Joonmyun says in joy.

“That’s good I’m so happy for you.” She replies with a smile on.

“I should get going now, Yoojin wants to meet up.” The two get up and walk over to the door. “Thank you for everything.” He leans in and cuts the distance between them, pulling her into a tight hug.

“No problem. I’ll always be here for you.” She says returning the gesture. Joonmyun heads out the door and they wave goodbye.

She closes the door and she leans against it. She lets out a sigh as she slides down on to the floor. She buries her face between her knees and securely wraps her arms around them.

Sobs fill the apartment and the sound of her heart crumbling is the only thing she hears.

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A/N: So what do you guys think? Thanks for reading!