Chapter 3: Hmm, I know what. You are used to writing poems. That you tend to either use as little words as possible- writing phrases instead of sentences- or describing them in detail to paint the picture in your head. Too little and too much. Chapter one is just dialogue while the second chapter is text heavy but I liked it better, kinda like what Yuu said. While you have the creativity, you have to work on execution, pretty much like everyone else. Ehe.