I cried when Hangeng left. Heechul thought to himself. His eyes were closed but he did not retreat into his dream.

He was the one who never cried in front of anybody, but there he was crying his eyes out in front of his fans. Did they understand how much his heart had broke? How shattered he was, and how the pieces has flown away into the wind?

Heechul, behind his blatant mouth, hid behind a wall, a large indestructable wall with no gates. Where his true self hid. So few of his friends could see his true self, even though they knew it was there.

He had let Hangeng in, he had TRUSTED Hangeng, but his heart was rejected, and there was too much pain.

He swore to never let anybody see his true self again and he faked his smiles, his laughter, and no one could see him anymore.

No one.

He had retreated to somewhere no one could reach, where he kept all his pain and sorrows. 

He had protected everyone around him, but even none of them could see that he needed to be rescued.

But he had retracted his hand that reached for help long ago.

A familiar smell reached his nose that made him want to retch in disgust. 

Beijing Fried Rice

Hangeng brought the dish in and attempted to engage Heechul in a conversation to no avail.

Hangeng sighed as he brought a spoonful of food directly in front of Heechul's mouth. The stubborn idol refused to open his mouth. As this attempt of force feeding proceeded several time Hangeng became frustrated.

"Please eat?"

Heechul just silently turned his face away. His gaunt figure showing the protruding bones.

Hangeng's heart cried. Had it been that long since he had been gone? Could so little time change a person so much?

He stared at Heechul, looking for any sign of that old Heechul that had cared for him, that had risked all for him to be happy, to rip of his mask.

He finally shoved the food inside his own mouth, and his hands forced Heechul's mouth open as proceeded to shove the food down Heechul's throat. 

Hangeng was stunned when the two weak arms shoved him backwards and pulled a container out of no where which Heechul proceeded to retch into. Both a mixture of blood and food fell into the pan as Heechul coughed into it. 

"I didn't want it." Heechul glared.

Hangeng stared in a mixture of horror and sadness as Heechul's body rejected the food.

"What do you eat then? Leeteuk told me to make you..."

Heechul just sighed and pulled out a drawer filled with pills.

Before Hangeng could stop him he pulled out out several capsules and pills and downed them.

"All my essential vitamens, nuterients etc. I'm good, now LET ME GO,"

Hangeng stared at Heechul in pure sadness.

"I can't let you go again"

Heechul just smirked.

"You never had me"