As Hangeng quietly and inconspiciously as possible headed towards the airport, he was suprised to see two figures waiting for him in front of his jet.

"Kagin-hyung! Henry!"

Kagin-hyung smiled as it had been a while since he had last scene his friend.

"We heard of the incident, no one knows except us, but we'd thought we'd send you off to America with the only plane we can trust!" Spreading his arms to show the Suju plane.

Hangeng laughed as he stepped on the plane he hadn't seen in so long. He nostalgically sat in his old seat which used to be next to Heechul's as he stared out the window.

"Okay Kagin-hyung!" He said lightly. "Let's go to America!"

(break) 

As he sat near the window, the other members grouped around him as they told him of what had happened in their group.

Kagin had blushed as he had told him how he had confessed to Leeteuk and Henry did the same when talking about Zhoumi.

Hangeng laughed as he was happy for his friends.

"There is one problem though...Heechul-hyung." Henry said. Henry had great respect for his hyung after he was the only hyung who was able to stop the anti's from bothering both him and Zhoumi, as even fans avoided the anger of the great Kim Heechul.

"He's completely changed. He's been working non stop since you've left and he doesn't YELL AT US," Kagin said worriedly.

Hangeng thought sadly, that wasn't the Heechul that he had known, What happened to you Chullie? He thought.

As the rest of the trip continued in silence he looked out the window and was suprised not to see the ocean.

Henry turned around and said, "Hyung, we are sorry, but we are going to Korea,"

(break)

Donghae, nominated as the dongsaeng who Heechul was nicest to after he had changed, walked carefully towards the door.

"Hyung?" He whispered. He gently pried open the door to find what he was used to seeing, bottles of soju scattered all over the floor.

"What?" Heechul said groggily.

Donghae almost cried, his hyung that he had loved and always protected him had changed so much. He wasn't the diva who only cared about himself, in fact now he abused himself.

Before Donghae could say anything, Heechul checked his watch,

Heechul muttered, "I have to go to a radio show now, Donghae tell me quickly,"

Donghae quickly said, "Hyung, please listen, Hangeng was almost murdered and..."

Heechul quickly cut him off, "WHAT? Is he okay? Is he..."

Donghae, "Heechul, he's going to stay with us,"

Heechul's eyes opened widely as Donghae attempted to pull his hyung out of the room in order to clean him. With Leeteuk's help, they were able to make him take his medicine and shower easily as Heechul had grown so thin, losing more than 5 kgs. As they attempted to cut his hair, Heechul ran away as suddenly there was a click of the password and turn of the key.

As Leeteuk and Donghae turned to see the intruders, Heechul took this moment to walk towards the door to escape to his next job. 

Yet as the door opened, Heechul was suprised to see in front of him stood Hangeng, along with Kangin and Henry.

Hangeng saw in front of him, Heechul, or a pale immitation of Heechul, he had never seen the divaish but caring man so pitaful, so thin, so fragile before. 

"Its been a while Heechul," He reached towards the man to pull him into a hug.

Heechul smirked and effectively avoided the hug, "Who are you?" Heechul said the hurtful words before walking to his next job.

(break)

Heechul went from job to job exhaused, drowning himself in the work.

Seeing Hangeng that day was too exhausting, he didn't want to think about it, he didn't want to think about him.

(break)

After Hangeng left, Heechul cried for the first time in forever, but he never cried in front of the members.

That's how the members had found Heechul, drunk, surrounded by bottles of soju which did nothing but take him from reality.

Heechul spent less and less time at the dorm as even in his dreams, Hangeng haunted him.

He thought they were so close, but in truth he hadn't been trusted at all, and that broke him.

As he left the apartment he finished work like a zombie and instead of going home ran TRAX's apartment. 

He barged in to see Jay. Out of all the people he trusted, he could actually sleep next to Jay, even for just 1 or 2 hours he slept without nightmares. 

Jay looked up to see his tired hyung barge in and jump on his bed. Many people would have considered it rude, but he knew Heechul only did this when his heart was going to break. 

"What happened hyung?" Jay asked as one of the few people who could sleep next to Heechul they lay side by side.

"He came back, HE CAME BACK LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED." Heechul shouted in exhaustion. 

Jay hugged Heechul. He knew there was so much stress that Heechul had his in his now fragile body, he may have still appeared to be strong, but he was breaking inside. Yet, still Heechul never cried.

"What else happened?" Jay asked, he knew he was the only one who Heechul actually at least talked to now, some suju members hadn't even seen Heechul with all the work he was taking on.

Heechul whispered, "My mother died,"

Jay's eyes were shocked, Heechul hadn't told the other members yet in super junior.

"You should tell them,"

"I don't want to, I don't want them to deal with anything to do with me,"

"Heechul..."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore Jay." Heechul tiredly said.

"Okay Heechul...sleep okay?"

Heechul nodded as he drowned in the black unwelcoming darkness of sleep.

(break)

He saw in the distance Hangeng's figure leaving through a bright door filled with shimmering light.

NO he tried to shout but his yelling was drowned in the darkness.

He couldn't move, everything was suffocating him, everyone was leaving him behind.

HANGENG he tried to shout, but the man just closed the door, leaving him in the darkness.

(break)

Heechul screamed and woke up with a start to see Jay next to him hugging him.

"You had the nightmare again," 

"I'm sorry Jay,"

"Its okay, its okay,"

As Jay went to close his eyes and fell back asleep, ready to wake up when his friend freaked out again, Heechul instead stood up and walked to the fridge. Seeing Hangeng again was too much, he took out a pack of soju and placed the money that he would owe Jay on the counter and he began sipping the effervesent liquid alone, instead of how he used to drink it together with Hangeng.

(break)

Jay woke up to find bottles of soju scattered accross the floor with Heechul passed out in the middle.

He groaned as he called Leeteuk.

"Hi Leeteuk its...."

"JAY WHERE IS HEECHUL?"

"He's here, he stayed the night, but for some reason while I was asleep he drank enough soju and he's passed out on the floor, can you get him?"

Leeteuk didn't understand why Heechul just couldn't just rely on him as he cried on Kangin's shoulder.

Hangeng woke up to see Leeteuk crying, "What happened Leader?"

"Can you go get Heechul? He's at Jay's." Leeteuk said between sobs.

Hangeng rushed out to see what had happened. As he entered Jay's apartment he saw Heechul splayed out in Jay's bed and Jay cleaning up a large number of Soju bottles that Heechul had seemingly drunk.

As Jay saw him, his eyes widened and he became furious and slapped Hangeng.

"YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU HURT HIS HEART?"

Hangeng just looked sadly at his old friend who looked at him with eyes of hatred.

"If you are back, you better find a way to make amends, or you should have even seen him,"

Hangeng sadly nodded as he picked Heechul up. He gasped as he felt how light Heechul was, it didn't feel like he was carrying anything and as he looked closer he saw that Heechul was gaunt and had large bags under his eyes.

"He only sleeps one hour every day, every time he sleeps, has he to come here where he suffers nightmares," Jay said.

Hangeng picked Heechul up and drove him back to the aparartment.