February 2008

Did I mention before, that I love being Park Soyeon? If not, now I can tell the whole world I love being me. Maybe because of my personality or maybe because of my wittiness, I get along easily with different company members. “Class president, there’s a new student will come here today. Can you follow me to the office?” Mr. Park called me. I follow him to the office while carrying all the files that he uses in the class today. A boy walk pass me and his bag knock all the files in my hands. Luckily I’m good in balancing. No sorry or no apologize. Nothing. Kids nowadays are so rude. I thought. The teacher gives me the new student’s books and name card. ‘Lee Kikwang’. It writes. Nice name, hope he has a nice personality too. All the students in class have great personality. When I enter the class, I saw an unfamiliar boy sitting next to me, because that’s the only empty place in the class. I put his books on the table and give his name card. Of course I greet him. But this boy, with walkman plugged to his ears and reading I don’t know what kind of books, ignoring my presence. No thank you or no greetings. Maybe he’s the twins of the other boy I met before. Or maybe he’s the same person that walks pass me just now. I don’t know and I don’t care.

“Soyeon-ah, come here”. Haeri unni called me. “He’s the new boy isn’t it? AJ, right?”Jiyeon added. “AJ? AJ what? His name? No, I read from his name card that his name is Kikwang. Lee Kikwang”. I said in shock. What kind of name is AJ? America’s Joker? Animal’s Jam? “Oh, I heard his name is AJ”. Hyomin joins us. “He said that?  He’s a liar. What a personality he has, rude, ignorance and liar. Triple thug.” I said. Then Joon come and tell us that the boy ‘Lee Kikwang’ is either deaf or mute and he’s happy about it because he’s the only handsome guy in class with perfect sense. Joon is completely dreaming. He always thought that a polygon is when a ‘parrot is missing’ and genealogy is when ‘you rub a lamp and gets three wishes’. And not to forget, he always thought that he’s the brain of the class when he clearly says that the square has two sides; inside and outside. That’s Joon. I just don’t care about the new student. As long as he doesn’t bring any bad vibe then it will be good. We continue with performance art class. As always, everyone needs to be pair for practical activities and I’m always with Jiyeon and Hwayoung because there are only 19 students in class. But now, although there’s a new student ‘Lee Kikwang’, I still have to do the practical with Jiyeon and Hwayoung because he doesn’t want to do anything. He’s worst than Eunhyuk oppa when I just met him. I tell the teacher about it and he had been called to the office. “Somebody is in trouble.” Yoseob said looking at me. “Why?” I asked. “He used to beat all the trainees in our company, that’s why he’s working as solo artist. Don’t you know anything?” Yoseob explained and I just shake my head. “Ya, somebody is in trouble.”Joon added while looking at Kikwang entering the class silently and with his serious look. The only look he knows. I’m scared actually. I lied if I said I don’t. But I’ll make sure I’m not anywhere near him in school.

“Oppa, I’m already in the hospital. I’ll wait for you”. Oppa so busy lately and I’m not always in the training room. It is hard for us to meet accept in the hospital. Grandmother having difficulties in breathing lately but the doctor said she’s still stabile and need full medical attention. Every day when I see her, I’ll be asking “do you know me grandma? Or remember me?” I just afraid that grandma will forget me. Forever. After three hours waiting for oppa, I went back because I’m still afraid of my president. I saw him sitting on the bench in front of our dorm. Oppa looks tired and miserable. He just debut as a variety show’s MC and doing lots of showcase for his group. I understand that. “Soyeon-ah, sorry I can’t make it. The rehearsal takes longer time than I expected”. Eunhyuk oppa smiling. He seems a lot difference. Thinner? Sadder? I don’t know. “Nevermind oppa. Grandma already forgets about you”. I said while smiling. “Really? You are joking aren’t you?” His smile starts to vanish. “Ne oppa, don’t worry”. I laugh. “She wants to see you achieve what you want and she wish you the best in everything you do. So, keep working”. Oppa just smile. He looks so tired. I don’t want to add his burden anymore. He already visits grandma when I’m not able to go because of the variety school. I give him a good night kiss and waves goodbye. “Have a nice dream oppa!” I scream. “Keep smiling and everything will be okay Soyeon-ah”. Oppa said. And I nods.

“Can't you cooperate with us more? We need all members to participate in the sports to even up with the other class. Are you good in baseball? Or football? Maybe basketball? If you don’t like balls maybe you can play badminton. You can choose the sports that you want”. I tried to be good as I can with the new student ‘Lee Kikwang’ because I’ve asked other people to tell him about the sports day in our variety school, but no one dare to get near him. And for all of my effort, he said “I hate noises”. And go away.  I don’t believe myself. And I don’t care anymore.

“How are you nowadays?” Oppa asked. “I’m fine; I’m still in school with amazing people excepts for one that annoys me a lot. Like president but worse.” Oppa just laugh. He seems so quite lately. “I love oppa’s programme. You look happy and comfortable with what you’re doing”. I said to break the silence. “Thanks Soyeon-ah. I need to train for the dance showdown. See you later okay. Bye.” I thought I’ll be busier, but now it’s the vice versa. “Bye, oppa” I said with heavy sigh. Tears start to fall down. I said to myself Soyeon-ah, why do you need to cry. It’s already a year without crying and sadness. Soyeon-ah, oppa has sacrificed everything before, now you need to support him “YES!” I screamed on top of the building and wipe away my tears. One day, I’ll show oppa my favourite place in school. The rooftop. “You really know how to make noise, Class President”. I turn around and saw the student ‘Lee Kikwang’.Oh! No. Before something bad happens, I better run away. I took a deep breath and start to walk as fast as I can in front of him in bowing position. Then, he put out his hand and stops me. “I won’t be noisy anymore or disturb you or ask you to participate in anything from now on. Please don’t hit me” I beg. He looks at me with his big eyes and said “Your imagination is worst than Joon or Yoseob. You listen to people well but never investigate whether it is true or not. You such a nuisance president”.  He said. I remember my president in the company, I sound so much like him. “AJ is for Ace Junior, my president give me that name. If you want to do something together just tell me not the teacher. I’m not a thug that hits people or a liar. Your friend, Yoseob tells everybody about AJ, not me and thank you for calling me with my own name”. He takes his hand back, plug on his walkman and sit on the place I always hang out. “I love this place and hope you can share it, Class President. Thank you”. He said it with his one look version. Serious. And again, before anything happens I run without looking back anymore. I should find a new favourite place. Kikwang looking at Soyeon and smiles.