"I’ve been asked to tell you a story, my story, which somehow ended and started at the same time. The day I realized my life wasn’t quite the life I’d always wanted to live. Strict, without anything extraordinary happening. The same people surrounding me, the same conversations, every day. Then I met him. The one destined to change my life forever. April fourteenth, 1912. I remember that specific day like it was yesterday. It’s not, obviously. I was seventeen back then. Right now, I’m waiting for the day I’ll die, old and grey, like I promised him back then. There was something odd about that night. The ocean was unusually clear, the wind was barely there, and the stars were never brighter."

April 12^th, 1912. Lee Taemin.

“Come on Taemin,” Kibum said, “We have to get to the ship as soon as possible. I don’t want any poor people around us, and since they’ll be entering soon…” I laughed at his usual nagging. Most people found it annoying, but I got used to it during the years I spend with him. He wasn’t my mother or my father, but he could pass for both of them.

“What about our luggage? Have you hired someone to carry it for us?” I asked him. Kibum nodded and as he got out of the car, two crew members appeared in front of us.

“We’ll be escorting you,” one of them said, bowing for me. I nodded and pushed my bag into his arms, walking towards the largest moving object ever build. The R.M.S. Titanic.

It was breath taking. Well, to most people it was. Every single person without a boarding pass stood there, surrounding the Titanic in a moon shaped formation, amazed by the size of the ship. They could only imagine the luxury inside of it. The luxury I would surround myself with for the next couple of days, while it would take us to America. The people without boarding passes. I envied them, just like they were all envying me. I sighed, thinking of what I’d do to not make it to the ship in time. Kibum obviously didn’t want to miss it, but then again, he wasn’t the one forced to marry some rich bastard to safe the company of his parents.

With my mind turned off and my smile glued to my face I entered the 1^st class entrance. The lower classes needed to go through a health inspection first, but we were allowed on board immediately. As soon as I entered, I smelt the fresh paint. I allowed myself to look up and around. It really was an amazing ship, but I could not have cared less, since at the end of the hallway was the person I hated the most out of everyone aboard.

Kim Jonghyun. That was his name. I never did say it out loud like that, though. I called him honey and dear, just like he would call me sweetheart. The thought of him calling me that again made my body freeze. He actually seemed quite happy to see me again. His smile got scarier as he got closer to me. When he was standing right in front of me, I managed a quick ‘hello’, before looking at the ground. He hugged me close to his chest and kissed my cheek.

“Hello sweetheart. It’s more than great to see you, as always.” I forced myself to smile. My face turned red out of anger, but I guessed to him it must have looked like I was blushing. He grinned, took my hand and walked me to my suite. When we arrived, the maids were already unpacking my stuff.

“Ah, Lucy.” I smiled warmly. She was my favourite maid by far. She used to join me for tea before Kibum was hired. Lucy has always been some kind of mother to me.

“Young master Taemin!” she smiled back at me, but her smile faded as soon as she saw Jonghyun, who was right behind me.

“Good day, sir.” She bowed politely. Jonghyun didn’t reply. He sat down on the sofa and gently knocked on the place beside him. I put on my brightest smile and sat down beside him. He immediately put his arm around me and patted my hair.

“You know. Our engagement is probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He mumbled in my hair. I faked a giggle, not able to reply. I got pretty good at acting like a little in-love-schoolgirl. No one ever noticed that on the inside, I was screaming, begging for someone to safe me from the life that was already planned for me.

At dinner, everything was normal. Normal as in, everyone was bragging about how they practically owned the world, eating fancy food that didn’t actually taste like anything at all, praising every little detail about the ship. Among the guests was mister Ismay, who had something to do with the design of the ship. I lost my interest in the conversation quickly as always, so I focused on my dinner and ate it silently. When everyone was finished eating,- but not even close to finished bragging, all males stood straight and went out for a smoke. As usual, they invited me to join them. And as usual, I refused politely. Kibum did join them. For the sake of the company, he whispered in my ear. I hummed uninterested and leaned back in my chair. The company. I couldn’t care less about that stupid company. My parents did, though. But that was pretty much all they cared about. More than the luck of their only son. 

“Excuse me, ladies.” I said as I stood straight. I nodded my head in respect and walked of as normal as I could. As soon as I was out of sight, I started walking faster. My walking turned into running as I reached the deck of the ship. I didn’t notice the tears streaming down my face until then. I wiped them away with my sleeve, angry at myself for crying again. How could they? How could they abandon their own son to safe their god damned company? I knew it was their only hope, but still… I smiled bitterly. It was the first time in my entire life that I’d actually felt power. The power to ruin everything for the people who were supposed to be there for me,  but they weren’t. They had never been. I slowly walked towards the back of the ship, still crying. As the end got closer, I started running. My shoes made ticking noises on the wooden deck as I made my way to the back of the ship. My hands grabbed the cold, metal railing. The wind blew right through my white blouse. I shivered, and placed one foot on the first layer of the railing. The other followed, as I lifted myself over the railing, with nothing below me but the deep, dark sea. My grip loosened a bit as I slowly prepared for what I was going to do. “Bye mother. Bye father.” My voice didn’t sound like my own as I whispered my goodbyes. “I am sorry, Kibum. You’ll have to find a way to save the company without me, now.”

“You don’t have to feel sorry.” I looked up, shocked by the sudden words. I tightened my grip around the railing. The dim light wasn’t enough to show me who it was.

“Don’t come any closer!” I yelled. It didn’t sound as threatening as I hoped it would.

“Don’t do it, then.” The voice said. “I’m sure you’ll figure something out to get you out of whatever your situation may be, without killing yourself.”

“How can you be so sure?” I asked sceptically. The voice hummed.

“I’m sure you’re smart enough to think of something.”

“I hope you’re smart enough to listen when I tell you to stand back.” I hissed.

“I can’t really leave you here like this right now, can I?” the voice asked. He came closer with his hands lifted up in the air, as if he was saying ‘I won’t try anything’.

“Why not?” I asked. As he came closer, I was able to see him clearer. His dark hair covering his eyes, the sad expression on his face.

“I’m involved now. If you jump, I’ll have to jump after you. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I’d watch someone die without trying to do something about it. So I’d have to.”

“That’s ridiculous.”  I muttered. He took another step towards me, and I was able to see his clothes. It wasn’t hard to see that this guy was definitely no 1^st class passenger.

“With all the respect, sir. But I’m not the one hanging off the back of a ship.” He sighed, then started taking of his messy looking jacket.

“What are you doing?” I asked confused.

“If my life ends like this, I want it to end fast. It will be painful. The water is really cold. Like, extremely cold.”

“How cold, exactly?” I asked, trying to hide the fact that he got me scared.

“Freezing, probably. Maybe a couple degrees over. I’ve felt it before. It’s like knives, stabbing you, all over your body. It’s not the best feeling in the world. Actually, I can name a hundred things that feel better. So I’m kind of hoping that you’ll change your mind and safe me, here.” I sighed, hesitating. Then I gave in. I slowly turned to face the boat again, my chest pressed to the railing. As I lifted my foot to climb over again, I felt my other foot slipping away. My screaming filled the cold, salty air as I felt myself fall. Suddenly, a tight grip around my wrist kept me from falling.

“Hold on!” The boy yelled. “I’ve got you!”

“Help me!” I heard myself scream. “Please help me!”

“Listen to me! You have to pull yourself up! I’ve got you, I won’t let go, just pull!” I did as he said, and in the blink of an eye he helped me climb over the railing and we fell down on the deck. Three crew members came running towards us.

“What is happening here?” one of them yelled. I stood up straight immediately and wiped my tears away.

“It’s nothing, really.” I stuttered, the boy who saved me still laying on the wooden deck.

“You call this nothing?!” I shivered hearing that voice, his voice.

“Mister Kim, is this the boy you were talking about?”

“My fiancée, yes.” I looked down, trying to avoid looking my fiancée in the eyes. I despised that word.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Jonghyun yelled.

“It was an accident!” I exhaled shakily and looked at the boy, who was now being forced to stand up and getting his hands cuffed. “No, no wait! Don’t hurt him!” I squeaked. “He saved me! I was trying to look at the back of the ship and… I slipped! Yes. I slipped! And mister…”

“Choi.” The boy said. “Choi Minho.” I smiled nervously.

“Yes! Mister Choi saved me! If it wasn’t for him, I would’ve gone overboard.” Jonghyun raised one eyebrow and looked at the boy who had just called himself Minho.

“Was that what happened?” he asked sceptically. I looked at Minho in a begging way.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Minho agreed. I exhaled and nodded thankfully.

“Well, the boy’s a hero, then!” said one of the crew members. Minho raised his shoulders and looked at me with questioning eyes. I shook my head softly and stood by Jonghyun’s side. Jonghyun put his arm around me, kissed my forehead and then walked away, forcing me to walk with him.

“Eh, mister Kim?” one of the crew members said. “Perhaps a little something for the boy?” Minho stood there awkwardly, rubbing his wrists with a painful look on his face.

“Yes, right. He could maybe… Join us for dinner, tomorrow? Would that be alright, mister Choi?” the way he pronounced his name made me angry, it was sarcastic, mean.

“Should be fine.” Minho said. “See you tomorrow, then.” He looked at me, then walked away with his shoes and his jacket under his arms. Jonghyun didn’t even care to look at him, and for the first time, I was thankful for his arrogance. Him noticing that Minho wasn’t wearing his shoes and his jacket wouldn’t have done my lie any good.