When I woke up the next morning, I was hoping to wake up next to a warm body, but instead there I was by myself.

He must of left early again, I thought to myself. This was nothing new to me. I mean what did I expect when dating Jiyong of Big Bang. I should consider myself lucky to have even been with him at all last night.

I turned to my right and continued to lie in bed with my hand moving to and fro over where he supposedly slept last night.

I continued to lie in bed for another 5 or so minutes before mustering the will power to get myself out.

As I swung my feet to the side of the bed I noticed that the floor was covered in red rose petals creating a path from the bed out the bedroom door.

Still at this point, I grabbed the nearest article of clothing to me, which was his blue dress shirt he was wearing last night, put it on and followed the petal path out the door.

Right foot left foot, one foot over the other, step by step, I slowly made my way downstairs. The petals kept on going all the way down the hall and stop short of his studio door.

What was I to do next? Am I suppose to go inside his studio? The petal patch lead me here. Do I just open and go in?

I mean ever since Jiyong and I moved in with one another all he ever asked of me was to not go inside his studio. My friends gave me grief for days about it but I understood. He was sharing a part of him with me already that his studio was his place. A place where he could get away and be by himself and do what he does best, make great music.

Now here I am standing outside his studio door asking myself question after question of if I should go in or not.

“Jiyong, are you inside?” I yelled out. “Jiyong,”

I stood there biting my lip on what to do.

“Jiyong,” I said once again as I leaned my ear up against the door to see if perhaps he was inside creating music.

As I pressed my ear against the door, it suddenly pushed back opening. I quickly straightened myself up.

“Jiyong, are you in there,” I asked as I continued to stand outside the door.

No answer, just my own voice echoing back to me.

I looked down and there on the floor continued the patch of petals right into his studio.

“Jiyong. Honey. If you’re in there, say something. I’ve already seen too much of your studio just standing here. I’m not breaking my promise to you and coming in. Jiyong.”

I continued to stand out in the hallway looking into his studio. I called out his name again but still the same no answer. As I am about to turn to leave, music start playing from inside. I’m glued to the floor as the TV inside turns on and starts a slideshow of us through the 7-year we’ve been together. There were pictures that I’ve seen and some that I had no idea were taken. I’m left leaning on the side of the door as slide after slide comes and goes. When the last slide comes up I’m left in tears. It was a picture of us in bed dated today. I was soundly asleep in his arms as he looked into the camera.

Before I could even get myself together the slide show switches off and there he was on screen talking to me.

            Morning baby. How did I know that you would still be standing in the doorway? You’re not breaking your promise to me at all. I’m letting it go. Come on in. Come. Have a seat on the chair right there. Sit down. Are you still in the doorway?

I was hesitant to step foot into his studio. This was his space. I felt like I’m intruding even though he said it was okay. I slowly walked in and sat on the black leather chair in the room.

            Well baby this is my studio. If I’m not here I’m at the company or in bed with you. I still can’t believe that this is the first time you’ve stepped foot in here even though we’ve been living together for 3 years. That is one of the qualities that I LOVE about you. A promise is a promise no matter what.

            Did you enjoy the little slide show? I had so many pictures of us that I had to pick only a selected few. There are tons more in those boxes over there in the corner. Did you like the melody that played? It is entitled My Love and I created it with you in mind for you. It’s your song, baby. No on else will hear it. Only for your ears and mine alone.

            It has been 7 years. 7 years just like that in a blink of an eye has quickly come and gone. I had my many ups and downs over the years and looking back now every single time you’ve always been there for me. You are my rock. You are my savior. You are my everything. I ask myself all the time, could I have gotten through all of it if it wasn’t for you? I’ll never know, but I’m glad that I’ll never know. I wouldn’t change a thing if given a second chance to do things over.

            To think that it all started 7 ½ years ago over spilt coffee. We were both in a rush and collided with another. I still remember to this day how glad I was that you had ice coffee and not hot coffee. 

             From the moment I laid eyes upon you I knew that you were the one that I had to get to know. I never told you this but for a week straight I stalked the coffee shop in hopes to run into you again. And then on the 7^th day at the 7^th hour of me sitting in the corner in disguise, you walk in. I felt as if my world just stood still. No one or nothing moved with the exception of you. I remember the look on your face when I approached you as well as the face of your best friend hyperventilating behind you.

            I loved how even then when I tried to impress you by introducing myself as GD of Big Bang you just said I know and turned away. You could care less that I was GD. Right then and there I knew you were different and I liked it. You weren’t hyperventilating because I introduced myself to you like others would instead you were composed, cool, and didn’t really care that an idol who made the first move had just introduced himself to you. 

            I’ve never been so persistent in trying to get to know someone as much as I have with you. Plus I don’t think I’ve ever had to try that hard before. You made me want to get to know you more and more each time you turned me down.

           If I’m correct it took me meeting you 12 times over 3 months at that coffee shop before you agreed to sit down with me for coffee that one afternoon.  Best afternoon ever, to me. Ah, I still remember our conversation too. That conversation is the conversation that made me immediately know that if I lost this chance with you, I would never be able to find someone remotely close.

                                                 “Why do you introduce yourself as GD?”

                                                  “I thought it might impress you.”

                                                 “GD is stage name, a persona when you perform. Right?”

                                                 “Yeah,”

                                                 “I don’t want to know someone who millions of others already know. I want to know the you that only those close know.”

            I still beat myself up sometimes just thinking how cocky I was in introducing myself as GD to you the very first time. You’ve made me more humble. In truth you were the first girl ever that turn down the outgoing loud bounce house GD for the more quite mellow Jiyong, the real me.

            7 years! 2,555 days! 61,320 hours! 3,679,200 minutes! 220,752,000 seconds! Each ticking second only adds to more precious time that I’m given to spend with you the best I can. I love you so much baby. Happy 7-year anniversary!

By the end of the video I was crying. Crying because I too remember. Crying because I too feel the same way. Crying because I too love him jus as much as he loved me.

“Jiyong. Are you going to come out now?” I said as I continued to sniff and sob.

 After a few moments of nothing but me crying, I turned around from the chair and there he was behind me the entire time.