The door opened, signalling his last guest before the surgery began. DongHae jerked his head up, hoping, PRAYING, that it was Jessica who just came through the surgery room doors. He had seen a beautiful girl with long blonde hair, but it wasn't his ice princess. To his disappoint, Luna walked through the doors, a smile plastered on her face (as always). "DooongHaaae!" she called to him in her sweet, sing-song voice. "Are you ready for surgery, love?" Her quirky Busan accent caused the corners of his lips to slide upwards.

"Is anybody ever ready to get cut open, Luna?" he laughed at his own joke, not realizing that she didn't find it funny at all. She had giggled, but only to make him happy. Not that she didn't find DongHae a funny man, he was an absolute comedian through her eyes. It's just that she had a few things on her mind, more things than usual, and it kept her thinking.

She gave him some medicine to drink, a thick liquid in a cup that she had brought with her when she walked in. It was a pre-heart surgery thing. To DongHae, it's the taste he would imagine rubber and wood would to be like if they were melted and broken down into one gooey drink. "Bleh!" He stuck out his tongue and made a gagging nose as soon as he finished all of the medicine. "Are you sure you're not just trying to kill me with that thing?"

Luna smiled at him. "No one ever really likes this formula."

After gulping down several cups of water to wash away the awful taste of the medicine, DongHae gave Luna a suspicious look. "You're kinda late," he said, eyeing her. "You were supposed to give me that nasty stuff fifteen minutes ago. WERE YOU MEETING WITH THAT JINKI GUY AGAIN?!" Lee JinKi was a new doctor, the youngest one in the hospital. He'd gone around a few times to check up on patients and talk to them to develop social and empathy skills, and whenever he came to DongHae's ward, him and Luna would seem to always click and start talking about random stuff. He remembered that it was what he used to do with Jessica (and with YoonA way back in their trainee days).

"ANNIYO!" Luna denied instantly, waving her arms in front of her as if it was a protest.

"Suuuuuure, Luna." DongHae chuckled.

She rolled her eyes at his skepticism. "Actually," she began, "I was out doing you a favor. So you should try thanking me instead of accusing me of having affairs. You know that can get me fired?"

"Doing me a favor?"

"Neh. . . " Luna looked at her shoes for a moment, as if deciding whether she should tell him what she was doing or not. "I was visiting your donor in another ward."

DongHae's playful smile disappeared instantly. His donor? His donor was still alive at this instant? His heart felt as if it had lurched from his chest, his breathing stopping for a second or two. "And . . . ?" he managed to gasp out.

"I. . . I convinced her."

"..."

"To reveal her identity to you."

He nearly shot out of his hospital bed in surprise. "NEH?! SHE AGREED TO LET ME SEE HER?!"

"But not yet!" Luna warned him before he got too excited.

"Waeyo?!"

"She wants you to be done with the surgery first!"

"What?!" Confusion ran through DongHae's mind. "But . . . but she'd be dead by then . . . "

Luna hung her head and slumped her shoulders in defeat. "I know, Hae. She wanted it like that. She said . . . she said that you wouldn't accept her heart, if you saw her."

"W-what? Why wouldn't I accept it?!"

Luna smiled sadly, "She. . . she probably thinks she's not good enough for you."

Of course she does. He's Lee DongHae of Super Junior. He's known world-wide. He's been loved and adored by millions of beautiful woman, of all shapes and sizes. Why shouldn't this fan of his, the one that is giving him the heart, not feel intimidated? Maybe she thinks she's ugly. Maybe she thinks that he would reject her heart because of her physical appearance. Maybe she thinks he will be disgusted by her. He didn't say anymore to Luna. . . He understood. Though he wanted to meet her so bad, though he wanted to thank his savior in person for the first and last time before she would leave this world for good, he knew that Luna would never let him meet her. She respected people's privacy too much as a nurse, and she rarely ever disobeyed the rules. Especially when the donor had already made up her mind.

"So my donor IS a girl. . . " This comment made Luna chuckle.

"Do you know Im YoonA?" Luna's question was so random that DongHae's face contorted in confusion as soon as she asked it.

". . . Neh?"

"She . . . wanted me to give you this." Luna held up a piece of napkin he recognized was from the hospital's cafeteria.

He took it from her hands and read only five words. "Be happy. Please take care." He thought about these words. They churned over and over like a wheel in his mind. Why did she keep reminding him to be happy? Why? He decided he'd question her about this after the surgery.

"Your girlfriend?"

"WHAT?! ANNIYO!" To Luna's surprise, DongHae went straight into defensive mode. "She's . . . she's actually quite annoying."

Luna's face showed no emotion, which worried him, since she wasn't the type to be void of feeling. "Oh really?" her voice was monotone, as if she didn't want him to reply.

"She's always bothering me. I swear, half of the time when I get headaches and come in for check-ups, it's because of her, not my symptoms." He let out a laugh, thinking about all of the times that YoonA has made him angry or gotten on his nerves, which was all the time.

"That's. . . "

"She told me she loved me yesterday."

This seemed to spark Luna's interest. "OH, really? And you said. . . ?"

He let out another chuckle. "Of course I didn't return the feelings. I would never be able to put up with someone like her. Nor would I ever fall in love with someone like that."

"You're so judgmental."

"You just don't know YoonA," DongHae reassured her. "She's such a choding. She can't seem to mature and shut up sometimes. She's not like Jessica or Tiffany, all grown up and stuff. YoonA's older now, a lady, but she doesn't act like it. If only you knew YoonA the way I do, Luna. If only you knew her the way I do."

Luna laughed, but it wasn't a sincere one. It was more of a bitter, sarcastic chuckle. "NO, DongHae," she replied firmly. "If only YOU knew her the way I do. . . " And with that, she walked out of the surgery room doors.

Later, when the doctors put a mask over his face and he drifted off into a land of dreams and fantasy, DongHae was still thinking about his donor. He imagined her as perfect as Jessica, beautiful inside and out, maybe even MORE beautiful on the inside for giving him an essential organ.

"Thank you," he said to her as they came face-to-face in an open field of the most beautiful flowers DongHae had ever seen.

She smiled at him and nodded her head, as if to say, "No problem." That smile, those eyes, that face. . . they all seemed so familiar. He knew where the familiarity was coming from. The tugging was coming from his heart, the most center, essential organ. The heart inside of him had recognized its owner, the girl standing in front of him.

As the girl started to walk away, he reached out his hand, wanting, WISHING he could yell out to her and call her to come back. But something made him stop, and just watch her leave. He knew. . . she had to go. . . She no longer belonged where he would soon be waking up to. But the farther she walked, the lonelier he felt. . . As the distance between them increased, a void was growing bigger and bigger inside of him. It felt as if his heart was suddenly burning, each step she takes making it burn a notch hotter and hotter. And when she was finally out of sight, nothing. He didn't feel burning, or fire, or anything. He felt nothing. He felt emptiness. And that, by far, was the worst feeling yet.

*

Nobody but SungMin and EunHyuk was in his room after the surgery. They had put him on a numbing medication that causes drowsiness and speech problems (and possible diarrhea, but THAT part isn't pertinent).

"H-Hyung!" It came out in a raspy whisper. He raised his arm and reached towards them, just to find that he couldn't reach out any further since the IV drip was connected to his skin.

Both EunHyuk and SungMin jerked their heads up, rushing to DongHae immediately. "Hae-ah. . . " HyukJae began, tears in his eyes, "you're okay." SungMin was clutching onto DongHae's left hand while EunHyuk held DongHae's right hand, keeping it close to his heart.

DongHae chuckled a bit, only to find that it was  uncomfortable to laugh. "O-of c-course, H-Hyuk-J-Jae. . . " Yes, the speech problems were starting to sink in. "D-d-did you think I-I wouldn't m-m-make it?"

The lead dancer of Super Junior shook his head lightly, his lips trembling while teardrops made their death plunge down his face. "Anni. . . It's just . . . nice. To know that at least YOU're okay. . . " He had wanted so bad, SO BAD, to give his Fishy a hug at this moment. He didn't know, poor him. He just didn't know since he was out cold for a day from his surgery.

"Y-y-yes, I-I'm f-f-fine. D-d-did something happ-p-pen to s-someone e-e-else? H-how l-long w-w-was I out f-for?" DongHae found it a great amount of work just to talk. . . He breathed in and out deeply, exhausted.

EunHyuk opened his mouth, as if to explain something to DongHae, only to be stopped by SungMin putting an arm on his shoulder. Their eyes met and seemed to communicate silently, leaving DongHae feeling left out. SungMin turned back to his brother and fellow band member, laying pitifully on the hospital bed. "Nothing happened, DongHae-ah," he reassured him, though his voice sounded sad and unsure. "You've been out for a day, we're just worried, that's all."

"But-but-but w-where a-a-are the other mem-b-bers?" he asked, hurt that all of his bandmates hadn't been waiting for him to open his eyes in this very room.

"I. . . I convinced them all to go home," SungMin lied. "They have a big day tomorrow, and it's not like you're gonna die. So I just told them to get some rest."

EunHyuk pulled away, wiping at his tears. "I'll just contact them now," he added, pulling out his BlackBerry, "and tell 'em you're awake." With that, he walked out of the room, leaving the fish and his troubled hyung to their lonesome. DongHae was tired, exhausted, but he was still conscious enough to render the fact that something was wrong, out of place. HyukJae seemed overly worried, and it was clear as day that SungMin fibbed to him. But this thought didn't last long. He soon drifted off to sleep again, the drowsiness once again taking over him, throwing him into a sea of deep darkness that he would do anything to get out of at that point.

*

It has been a week now, and DongHae was finally starting to feel better. He was still more tired than usual, and he wasn't allowed to perform alongside s yet, but he could get up and walk around. He could stay in the dorm by himself (although the members did not allow him to) and cook his own meals. His health was going by fine, great even, because the doctor had said that it would take around two weeks for him to be comfortable being active and mobile again. But here it is, seven days, and he was getting around just fine.

But there was something wrong. He could feel it. They all felt it, though only DongHae would acknowledge it and voice it. The members were awfully quiet in the past week, only going out and being active to do their job and perform or go on shows. They mostly stayed home and moped around, saying one or two sentences to each other when it was necessary. HeeChul, who was the routiest and most obnoxious one of them all, seemed to always wear a dismal frown. He didn't look up when he was walking and he had died his hair back to black, making him look dead since his skin was so pale. He didn't play pranks on LeeTeuk in the morning like he sometimes did, nor did he go out and have lunch with Jessica or YoonA. He didn't make morning coffee for the members anymore, which was weird because that has been a daily routine for him for the past year or so. YeSung and KyuHyun didn't sing out loudly in their rooms at the wee hours of midnight when everyone was trying to sleep. YeSung didn't even have meals with them anymore. He'd just always go into his room and eat his supper by himself (or PRETEND to eat his supper and then dump it in the trash). KyuHyun didn't game. He didn't turn on World of Warcraft every chance he had, and he didn't make snarky remarks anymore. ShinDong was really the only one who went out much, but only to visit Nari when he was free. The one thing that they WOULD do was step out of the dorm and announce that they were visiting SNSD's dorm. All of the members had been doing that lately. DongHae didn't know what the girls' did to s while they were visiting, but whenever any Super Junior member came back from SNSD's dorm, they always looked tired and worn out when they came back, even more so than when they left. Some of them always  had bloodshot red eyes and returned to their dorm late at night (or early in the morning).

Oh, how DongHae wanted so badly to visit SNSD with his brothers. He wanted to see the girls' beautiful faces. He wanted to tell them that he was okay, that the surgery went well, that his health is good for once. But their manager had not even let DongHae take a single step outside of the dorm. Until he fully recovered, he'd have to use Super Junior's dorm as his playground (which wasn't that big of a space if you were talking about a routy bunch of boys). The one thing that he was looking forward to the most was Jessica, of course. He could already imagine it. He saw her blonde curls and pale complexion perfectly in his head. She would smile that warm smile at him when she sees him, and he would open his arms wide for a hug. She'd run into his embrace and snuggle her head into his neck, thanking God that he was okay and that the surgery was a success.

It was weird, to be away from Jessica for so long . . . painful, even. But he did not dare cross their managers' words and obediently stayed in the dorm all day long (all night too) like a good dog would. He tried his best to keep busy around the house so he wouldn't get bored. He cleaned a lot, making sure that all the laundry was done and the dishes were clear. He also tried to make conversation with s, even though they've seem unusually quiet lately (most of the time, they just brushed him off and tried to find some excuse to go do something else). LeeTeuk had demanded that he didn't want the TVs in the house to be , and when DongHae complained that he was bored and tried to watch just an episode of his favorite show, HeeChul snatched the remote away, and all of the members shunned him for disobeying the leader's orders.

This feeling was weird for him. s had never been so strict, so quiet, so sad. For awhile, he had tried to convince himself that the members were only shaken up by his surgery, and they were trying their best to be calm and quiet, so his dizziness wouldn't come back and his health would return quicker. But as time went on, DongHae knew this wasn't the case. Though he knew they were concerned about his health, they rarely spoke to him. They didn't try to comfort him much after the surgery, nor did they congratulate him. Everyone seemed to be spending so much time in their own rooms, and they all said "I'm going to bed early" or "I should get some rest now" often, but in the morning, their eyes would be red and puffy, and there were signs of fatigue written all over their faces. They certainly did not get enough rest even though all of s wanted to go to sleep early every night. Maybe they were avoiding him.

But the strangest thing was, Super Junior, almost every single member, cried. When DongHae returned to the dorm, they all cried, hugging him and thanking the Lord that he was okay. When DongHae laid down to sleep at night, he could hear EunHyuk sniff a little from his side of the bed. He also heard his hyungs and dongsaengs whimper and sob through the thin walls. KyuHyun and RyeoWook had cried when SiWon yelled at DongHae for trying to turn on the TV. YeSung cried whenever he was practicing one of his love songs. LeeTeuk was the one who cried the most, surprisingly. He would burst out into tears at any random moment, especially at the least expected times. And when DongHae asked him why he was so sad, he'd just brush the liquid out of his eyes and stomp away. This wasn't right. The person who cried the most in Super Junior, the person who was picked on because he was called the "wife" of the group for not being to control his emotions, was Lee DongHae himself. If anybody was crying, it should be him. If anybody was to shed tears easily, it was the Fishy himself.

But why is everyone so sad? 

*

"SHUT UP, SIWON!" DongHae finally blew up. "WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU GUYS ALL DOING?! YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE I HAVEN'T SEEN CRY SINCE THE SURGERY, AND HERE YOU ARE, BEING A GIRL AND CRYING JUST BECAUSE WE RAN OUT OF YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?! REALLY?!"

SiWon stared at him, his usually fierce eyes looking pitiful and helpless. He didn't respond, just silently sat there at the dining table and let his tears flow faster and faster.

"Hyung . . . " RyeoWook walked up to DongHae, putting his arms on his shoulder, trying to calm him.

"WHY ARE YOU BEING SO EMOTIONAL?! IT'S ONLY CEREAL! YOU CAN GET MORE!"

More members started to crowd around them, until all of Super Junior was out of their rooms, listening to the commotion that DongHae had created.

"AND SIWON, IT HASN'T ONLY BEEN YOU LATELY! ALL OF YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN ACTING WEIRD! I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALL WORRIED ABOUT ME, THAT'S WHY YOU STARTED CRYING SO MUCH! BUT I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

"DongHae," it was LeeTeuk. He had come over to try to calm DongHae, replacing RyeoWook by taking a hold on his shoulders.

"WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU ALL?! WHY ARE YOU SO MISERABLE?! I DON'T CARE IF YOU GUYS ARE ALL SAD, BUT AT LEAST TELL ME WHY! AND DON'T EVEN TRY TO SAY IT'S BECAUSE I DON'T FOLLOW ORDERS AND KEEP THE TV TURNED OFF! DON'T TRY TO TELL ME IT'S BECAUSE WE RAN OUT OF YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL! TELL ME THE TRUTH!"

"DONGHAE!" It was HeeChul this time. "Calm down!"

"DON'T EVEN TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS, DO YOU KNOW HOW I'VE BEEN FEELING?! I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE WORRIED ABOUT ME, BUT YOU DON'T EVEN GIVE A CRAP ABOUT MY HEALTH! YOU GUYS ARE ALL TOO CAUGHT UP IN YOUR OWN MISERY! AND YOU WON'T EVEN TELL ME WHY-"

SLAP. DongHae's head twisted backwards by the painful hand that swept swiftly, yet painfully, across his left cheek. EunHyuk stood before him, fuming. He had never seen his best friend so angry with him. They were EunHae, the most loved Super Junior husband-husband couple. As far as DongHae knew, EunHyuk wouldn't hurt a fly, let alone his own best friend. He wasn't the type to be violent. But wasn't he the one who had just given him the smack that left his cheek throbbing just now?

"Shut up, DongHae." EunHyuk's voice was cold and icy. EunHyuk rarely got mad, and even when he was angry, he never became this dangerously serious. The cheerful, energetic Anchovy of Super Junior looked as if he was mad enough to kill someone, his face bearing the deadliest look he'd ever given, full of disgust.

"Hyuk-"

"I said, shut up. I don't care if you've been feeling lonely, or if you're frustrated with us. Just shut the up."

DongHae stared at his feet, his vision blurring from the tears that now flowed down his red cheek, instead of SiWon's.

"You're a real brat, you know that? You've been having it so good. Because of your surgery, you didn't have to perform for the past few weeks, taking your time at home, sleeping whenever you want, eating whatever we have, always having some of us at home to run some errands for you. You haven't had to lift a finger. But still, you complain. You're so worried about us leaving you out of what's going on that you throw a fit. You don't understand how sad we've all been. You only think about yourself." EunHyuk had never felt so angry in his life. He knew that the words that were coming out of his mouth now would be regretted later, when they'd apologize and make up for this argument. But anger was all he could feel at the moment. Anger . . . and sadness. So, so much sadness.

"I . . . I'm sorry," was all DongHae managed to say. "I just . . . I don't know. Sorry."

Some of the members had crowded around EunHyuk, shushing him and getting him to sit down and breathe. The anger was still all over his face, but there was some empathy too, DongHae saw. No matter how mad EunHyuk was at him, he was secretly crying on the inside about something else.

"I just . . . I want to know. Why are you guys so sad? Did something happen? Are you all keeping something from me? It hurts, you know. To see you all sad. Having no one to talk to. Not knowing why you guys seem so distant from me now." The tears hadn't stopped, but DongHae didn't notice that he was crying anymore. He was determined to find out why s have been acting so strange lately, so sad.

EunHyuk looked at LeeTeuk, as if to say ask if for permission to tell DongHae what he wanted him to know. After the leader nodded slightly with an awfully sorrowful expression, EunHyuk turned back to DongHae, trying his best to control his emotions and keep his expression solemn.

"It's YoonA," he said simply.

DongHae's face scrunched up, confused. Had this little girl been the reason why s were crying a lot lately? Did she do something wrong to them? Hurt them, confuse them? Had she been annoying them or saying hurtful things in the time of his absence? This girl, he thought. "What about YoonA?" 

EunHyuk looked away, trying to keep tears threatening to come out hidden in his eyes,  from his best friend.

KyuHyun, probably the bravest of them all, stepped out when he realized that EunHyuk wasn't strong enough to explain what had happened. "She's . . . She's dead, Hyung." His voice shook with sadness.

DongHae didn't understand at first. But then it hit him. He stumbled a few steps back, only to be caught by two of his supporting members that he didn't bother to look at or think the name of at the moment.

She's dead, Hyung.

"Y-YoonA . . . What do you mean she's dead?" No response. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S DEAD, KYUHYUN?!"

"S-she . . . " Even the daring Cho KyuHyun was afraid of the vicious look in DongHae's eyes, too frightened to say more.

"She passed away while you were still recovering from the surgery," SungMin answered for him.

DongHae fell into a chair, unable to breathe. "YoonA . . . what . . . how . . . "

"I think . . . She had heart problems." SungMin tried to continue. 

He shook his head vigorously, suddenly energized by the fear of really losing YoonA. "No, she's perfectly healthy, she . . . She never told me she had heart problems. I'M THE ONE WHO HAS HEART PROBLEMS."

"Not according to TaeYeon," LeeTeuk choked out with a gloomy voice. 

"Hyung, they told us her heart failed." KyuHyun was freely crying now. They all were.

"YoonA . . . YoonA . . . YoonA . . . " He repeated her name . . . over and over and over. The word tasted so pure, so sweet, so innocent in his mouth. It tasted so full of energy. It tasted like watermelon on a summer day. It tasted like hot chocolate during Christmas. It tasted like flowers in the springtime. It tasted alive.

"YoonA YoonA YoonA . . . " His heart suddenly began to hurt, making him collapse onto the floor. It wasn't a pain that anyone could feel. DongHae knew that it was a pain that came from the inside, that only his heart tormented him with. It was a feeling that the rest of his body refused to hold, just his heart, his new yet heavy heart.

YoonA is dead.

Heyyy guys, so I know I said this would be the last chapter, but bear with me, I have more to write. Haha. I want to apologize FOR THE LATE UPDATE! *bows* sorry sorry sorry ! Please forgive me! I have been busy lately with many things, and I know that that is not a good enough excuse but please be understanding<3. There isn't much left to the story, maybe only a chapter left. But I hope you have enjoyed it so far. I've done some adding to the previous chapters, and some grammar corrections, but not many, so you don't have to re-read if you don't want to. (: I would feel blessed if you comment/subscribe. Thank you for reading my story guys! (: Hope you guys look forward to the next chapter!

P.S. Sorry, I don't have a main picture for this chapter, and I probably won't have one for the next chapter either.