DongHae rested his head on HyukJae's shoulder on the drive home from the hospital, feeling exhausted. He had gone for another check-up and blood renewal. Like his father, DongHae has a type of blood cancer, Leukemia, and a heart condition that developed when he was still in his mother's womb. Growing up, he was to never exert too much energy on anything. If so, he would need to be hospitalized for days, sometimes even weeks. That's why his parents were so concerned when he started off as a trainee in SM. Every day, he practiced for hours and hours, weakening his heart and wearing it out.

Luckily, his family is well-off, and they allowed him to reach for his dreams while still going for regular check-ups at the hospital. He managed to maintain good (more like average) health conditions while debuting. Once he was a star, a celebrity, a heartthrob throughout all of Asia, many learned about his conditions, and many offered to give blood to him. As usual, DongHae could only accept the blood that is the same type as his; therefore, he couldn't accept most of the blood that his fans so willingly gave to him.

As Super Junior aged, and more bands (like Boyfriend and MYNAME) caught hold of the limelight, the number of blood donations decreased, leaving DongHae in a slightly worse condition. But there was always some blood there for him when he came for a check-up every month or so. Even if he didn't need it, the doctors still gave it to him, because renewing blood and replacing the old blood (that could be infested with some bacteria that hacked into his body) was the best thing to do to a patient with a medical background like him. Plus, the person who donated the blood would always make sure that DongHae gets it, though now-a-days, it seems as if the person who donated blood to DongHae is always anonymous.

"Fishy has such loyal fans," LeeTeuk commented at the steering wheel. "They take care of him so well. They even give up their own blood for him."

DongHae smiled, remembering when he got to meet the people who donated blood to him for the very first time. They had had a meeting just for them, and he couldn't believe how many people showed up. He had expected it to be a small number. DongHae had spent days helping the fans make sapphire-blue bracelets with beads that read "I saved Lee DongHae's life" for them. It was to remind them that he was forever grateful for their deed and kindness towards him. They also made extra for any anonymous blood donators, asking the doctors to keep hold of them and send them to whoever didn't show up at the meeting.

"I know," DongHae replied, a little dizzy. "If only I could repay them." He had started feeling more and more dizzy each time he stepped out of the doctor's office. It was simply because not a lot of people were donating blood anymore, thinking that DongHae's health was boosting. But there seemed to be just enough blood to get him through the check-up these days. Not any more, and not any less.

As DongHae's health decreased, he kept a pleasant smile on his face in front of the media and lied to his fans, saying that he was very well and his health had increased much since childhood. He no longer wanted anybody to donate anymore blood to him. He didn't want his ELF's to keep losing their blood while all he did was gain and gain. . . Especially because he didn't really mean anything to them, and they didn't mean much to him either. They only loved him because he's a celebrity. That's all there is to it. He didn't want them to put their health at risk because of a stranger like him. He wasn't worth it.

"Let's drop by at Soshi's dorm," EunHyuk suggested,"to tell them the good news about DongHae." He smiled at his best friend, using his shoulder as a pillow.

"Are you sure you just don't wanna see HyoYeon?" HeeChul sneered from the front seat.

"Yah!" EunHyuk tried to defend himself, but that was all that could come out.

The rest of the boys laughed at their Anchovy, including the Fishy. Though it hurt his head a little, he chuckled. He was happy, truly happy. The doctor had told him that they've finally found a replacement heart for him, a heart that matched his DNA. Finally, DongHae would be rid of his own weak heart. After the surgery, his heart would be functioning normally for once. The only other glitch would be the cancerous cells in his blood, which is such a miniscule problem compared to his heart. When the new heart is implanted in him, it will be strong enough to fight the cancerous cells right away, cleansing his blood. His cancer won't disappear, but it will put him into much better health. He would finally be free. He wouldn't get tired so easily, and he will be able to do more things, all thanks to the new heart that would be implanted in him next week.

He was so grateful to the person who had donated the heart, someone who would remain anonymous (the doctor had mentioned that the donor wished to keep his identity a secret), that he had almost started yelling at the nurse when she refused to mention the name of his savior, even if he promised he wouldn't tell anybody who it was. He had pulled out some beads and string from his backpack and made one of his sapphire blue "I saved Lee DongHae's life" bracelets. This time, he added an extra bead that had the picture of a bright red heart on it. It was to replace the heart that they had given up for him, and to remind them that he will take care of their heart. Even if the person who donated the heart had no choice since they would probably die anyway and had a perfectly good heart to spare, even if the person who donated the heart was not an ELF, even if the person who donated the heart had no thought of being a donor until he realized he would die anyway, so why not do a good deed . . . DongHae was grateful. He asked his favorite nurse, who went by the name of "Luna," to wrap this around the hand of the person who gave him his heart, for DongHae could not do this himself. She had given him a sad smile, probably out of pity, and nodded. The person would know of DongHae's gratitude from that bracelet, even if they didn't have much time left.

And now, to top things off, he would be able to share the good news with some of his best friends. . . with the SNSD members. . . with Jessica.

*

"OH MY GOODNESS, THAT'S WONDERFUL!" a cheerful TaeYeon bursted out, jumping into DongHae's arms. Due to his check-up minutes before, he stumbled a little, getting dizzy by her weight. But he didn't mind though. He hugged the tiny Taengoo backed, grateful for her worry and care.

The rest of the SNSD members made their way towards DongHae, giving him hugs and pats.

"Congratulations, Oppa!"

"Finally!"

"You'll be as energetic as me from now on, right?!"

"I'm so happy you'll finally be healthy again!"

Tiffany even started crying, being the waterworks of the group.

DongHae felt grateful that he could share this moment with his SM sisters. He could feel love and care radiating from their very presence as they squeezed him tight. There was a sense of relief in the air, as if someone had held their breath for the longest time as they had expected the worst, and then let it all out, ease and happiness replacing the bad feeling.

But there was something missing. The most important puzzle piece wasn't there, leaving the whole structure uncomplete for Lee DongHae. He looked over to one of the cushions and eyed Jessica, who looked as if she was comforting YoonA as she brushed her hair away from her face. YoonA was laying on the couch, a tight, yellow blanket wrapped around her entire body. Only her hair and a part of her face were visible. He had heard that YoonA had fallen ill many times in the last few months, and her energy, was said to be completely drained lately.

But YoonA didn't catch his attention. It was the lovely blonde nursing her and whispering gentle words to her that caught his eye. He made his way over to them when the rest of SNSD were done pinching his cheeks and hugging him in relief.

"Sica. . . "

Her face turned towards him, blonde hair falling all over her shoulders. She didn't smile like she usually did when she saw him, and it made him worry a little.

"Someone donated a heart to me."

"I heard." Her expression was just as solemn as before, not even hinting any signs of relief or joy like her fellow members.

YoonA, on the other hand, smiled weakly up at him with droopy eyelids. "Congratulations, Oppa!" she said cheerfully, though her voice was raspy.

He nodded to her as a sign of thanks before looking back at Jessica, who had already given her attention back to YoonA.

DongHae walked back to the group of SNSD and Super Junior members in an attempt to find someone who would like to talk to him (other than YoonA). Jessica's cold reaction had startled him. He had thought that she would be excited, the most excited Soshi member of all! (Or maybe she could've came in second to the Im-Choding had she not been ill.) Why was she so glum? Maybe she was having a bad day? But DongHae had shared great news with her. That should have reversed her attitude 180 degrees. Unless . . . she didn't care for his health conditions. . . But she cared. He knew she did. She had always showed that she cared . . .

Until today.

*

YoonA smiled happily as she sat across from him at the table in the little coffee shop. "YoonA?" He blinked. "What're you doing here?"

"I. . . I asked Jessica Unnie to text you to meet her here, because I wanted to talk to you," she admitted.

He heaved a sigh, rolling his eyes. "So Sica isn't coming, is she?"

She shook her head solemnly, looking at her shoes and feeling ashamed. She put her hand over his just as he was about to stand up and walk out on her. "Wait, Oppa! I'm sorry for lying to you and making you think she'll be here. But . . . I really, really want to talk to you. . . about something. And I know you would've never agreed had I been the one to text you."

He made himself comfortable in his seat again and pulled his hand away from her grasp, disgusted that she had touched him when he was so upset with her at this instant. "What do you want to talk about?" Patience, DongHae, he repeated in his head. Have patience with her.

"Oppa . . . " She suddenly felt uneasy, her bottom lip quivering. She wasn't sure whether she wanted to say what she had come to say anymore. " You . . . you . . . "

He looked at his watch, the one that his father had handed down to him on his fifteenth birthday. "There are things I'd rather do than just sit here and watch you think, YoonA." His tone was harsh, like the usual way he talked to her. He had forgotten when he'd started using such a tone with her. He had forgotten what she'd done that made him so angry every time he laid eyes on her. For that, he felt a bit guilty . . . But not guilty enough to be nice to her again. He was just so used to it. To treat YoonA like he did way back when would be uncomfortable for him, unfamiliar.

"After the surgery," she mustered up the courage to say, "y-you, you must stay happy." Her eyes were looking directly at his. They sent a sort of electricity, sincerity, that made him shiver even though it was warm in the coffee shop.

"Wah?" His was confused, trying to comprehend what she had just said. "You . . . you wanted to meet me here . . . just to tell me to be happy?"

She nodded with a sad smile, tears forming in her eyes. In all honesty, it was starting to scare DongHae. Why was she acting like this? Why is she telling him to be happy? Of course he'd be happy after the surgery, he would have a brand new heart! "Okay," he said and nodded his head, just to make her happy.

A relieved grin made its way onto YoonA's face. "Thank you, Oppa." She slightly bowed. "You mustn't blame yourself for anything anymore, okay? You have to start anew. A new heart, means a new beginning, right? Don't think about the things that went wrong in the past. Forgive yourself, okay? Forgive all of your sins. Start fresh." Tears had started to stream down her face, and she choked on her words a little.

He didn't know what to do but watch her and nod, though he didn’t fully comprehend her words. He didn't want to upset her any more than she already was, so he just kept quiet.

"There's a lot of things I've always wanted to say to you, Oppa. . . " she sniffed. "B-but, it's h-hard." She made eye contact with him again after looking at the grounds for a few seconds. "Saranghae, Lee DongHae."

Her sudden confession caught him by surprise (it's not like everything she was saying hadn't shocked him already). Though he had always known of YoonA's crush for him since trainee days, she had never voiced it. She had never told him. . . He was grateful that she had kept quiet about her feelings; because he would not know what to say back to her if she ever did tell him. He didn't feel the same way for her, so it's not like he could make things all romantic and reciprocate those feelings. And now that she has come out with it, he STILL didn't know how to react. "Neh?"

"I love you," she repeated. "And not in the little brother-sister love that you and Tiffany Unnie share. Not like the way you love HyukJae, or Kyu, or JungSu. I love you. Like the way you love Sica Unnie. I love you, I love you, I love you. I love you so much, I'd drop my pride and admit this to you, because I'm scared it'll never come out if I don't say it now. I love you like the way the ocean loves the waves. I love you the way the night sky loves the stars. You're a part of me, Oppa. And no matter how much I wanna change that, I can't. I've tried. So I'll just stick to loving you."

DongHae's mouth was dropped, eyes widened. Why? Why was it all coming out now? Why not in the trainee days, when he actually felt a little something for her too? Why not before he became so fond of Jessica? Why not before she became annoying and a pest in his life? Why?

"Oppa. . . ?"

He realized that he had stayed quiet for too long, and his silence scared her. He didn't know what to say, and he didn't know what not to say. He wanted to comfort her, because he knew what it felt like to love another . . . and not be loved back in return. He knew the word "heartbreak" so well, and he wanted to show her that she wasn't alone. But he didn't want her to think that he was going soft on her. He didn't want to say a few words of kindness to her and have her think that he reciprocated the care and love that she had for him. No, he would not lead her on like that. He would not let her endure his cold demeanor and rejection anymore. He would tell her the truth, he would hurt her . . . So she can move on . . . So she can find someone else for her, someone who didn't already give all his love to her unnie. "But I don't love you." The words came out both swiftly and slowly.

Though she had expected this reaction out of him, every word seemed to stab at her insides, tearing her apart like a brand new emotion. YoonA brought her hands close to her heart since it suddenly started to hurt. She sniffed, her tears coming to a halt. She would cry no more. At least not in front of this man that was so brutally honest to her. She didn't want to waste anymore of his time. "I know," she said softly, a sad smile spreading on her pale, tear-streaked face.

DongHae wondered how she could still smile at a time like this, when he had just rejected her.

"Remember to eat a lot and stay healthy after your surgery tomorrow, Oppa," she said with finality. And with that, she stood up and left, leaving a dazed DongHae to sit by himself and reflect on what he had just done.

Okay, so I know I at making this story interesting . . . It pretty much just seems like a sob story. But, I like writing stuff like this. (: I know you guys must feel awfully bad for our poor Doe-eyed Yoongie, and you guys must resent DongHae. . . And I'm sorry to say that it's only downhill from here. Not like there was really an "uphill" to begin with :P This story will only get more sad, and I hope you guys don't hate me too much for the next events that I have planned for this story. & If you guys didn't catch on, DongHae and YoonA had feelings for each other during trainee days, but neither had voiced their hearts. Then, Jessica came along, and DongHae fancied here, forgetting YoonA entirely. Jessica had texted DongHae to meet her at a cafe, but YoonA was actually the one who needed to meet up with him, and YoonA knew that he'd never meet up with her if she didn't have her kind Sica Unnie text him for her. I apologize for any grammar mistakes! I will post the last chapter soon. (: Till then, loves! Chu~