I continued strumming some random chords on my guitar, clueless as to what to do and say next. The surprise performance had undoubtedly caught me off guard that I just can’t move on. Perhaps, I’ve tried hard to somehow divert my attention so as to not ruin the night. The last thing I want to do was to etch a dramatic memory on Joohyun’s mind for our last day in the program after all.

That is why it was such a relief when a staff member raised a cardboard telling us both to begin talking about food. Oh yes, we’re supposed to go to relive our ddokbbokki date, I thought to myself.

“What do we do now?” I began the conversation, knowing so well that Joohyun would pick it up.

As expected, she looked up to me and replied with ease that she’s hungry. It wasn’t supposed to be a really funny moment but I can’t help but chuckle at how cute she was trying to speak banmal with me. I could tell she was really trying hard to please me, and I greatly appreciate that.

But of course, there’s no point in being Jung Yonghwa if I’m not gonna flaunt my choding­-ness. I ended up teasing her a bit, as always; and everyone (including her) seemed to have enjoyed the display of childishness from me.

The conversation (and the teasing in which I unintentionally mentioned Jungmo-hyung again) went on and we dropped the hints about the next destination: Shindangdong.

We rode the same van together to the area. A production assistant informed us that we are to head there first with our managers because the whole staff had to conduct a quick meeting. Joohyun and I weren’t surprised about it though. It’s not like it’s the first time such thing like that happened anyway.

As we headed to Shindangdong, my girlfriend and I were seated at our usual positions. The managers willingly stuck themselves together in the passenger side to give us some sort of privacy. They even closed the windows so we won’t have to worry about getting heard. It was a little funny when you think about it but I guessed there had been orders from both managements to give Joohyun and I some sort of freedom together during our last day.

The traffic to the ddokbbokki place was a little jammed, giving us more time to be together casually; and still not getting over the Banmal Song performance, I started a conversation about it.

“Uhm…” I began to catch her attention. Joohyun turned to me with her eyes twinkling in the semi-darkness inside the van. She smiled expectantly.

My insides squirmed. I supposed that effect of her smile on me will not easily go away. She then tilted her head cutely, her eyes asking what I wanted to say.

Knowing that we are in private, I gently held her hand with both of mine. She seemed not surprised by my sudden action though. In fact, she looked calmer than I should be. For a moment, I felt a tinge of embarrassment wash over me but it easily faded as Joohyun placed her free hand on top of mine.

“Just tell me whatever,” she motivated as she bit her lip in what seemed to be an attempt to stop herself from chuckling. “It’s funny how you get tongue-tied when we’re in private yet you are very, very talkative when we’re in front of the camera,” she said.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Was that supposed to be a bad thing?”

As I finished my question, Joohyun let out the giggles she was trying to suppress. I got even more confused and she must have noticed it because she immediately stopped laughing the moment our gazes met.

“It’s not,” she the back of my hand with her fingers. “In fact, it was very comforting and assuring because I know that there is something that only I know about you. If you’ve noticed, I am more of a private person than a flaunting one,” she lovingly said. I nodded appreciatively.  

“So what are you going to say?” Joohyun flashed me a very anticipating look. It was flattering how she showed full interest in everything I do and say.

I shifted myself on my seat for a more comfortable position without letting go of her hands. “Well, I really just want you to know that I am really grateful for the song a while ago, and for the constant effort to speak informally with me,” I honestly stated. “The fact that you learned playing the guitar was enough; but you even sang a song for me, and so it felt really surreal.”

She smiled at me, her eyes twinkling with joy. “I’m happy that you appreciated my performance,” she said. “I didn’t really know how to make you the happiest tonight but then I remembered how happy you were when I sang for you in Kanghwado so I decided to do that again – only in a better way.”

“And by better way, you meant playing the guitar and changing the lyrics?” I asked senselessly.

Joohyun’s eyes widened. She obviously wasn’t expecting such kind of question from me. But wittily, she retorted back, “Am I being accused of plagiarism now?”

I chuckled at her humor. “Can someone even plagiarize her own property?” I asked back.

For a moment, she looked speechless and so I took the opportunity to tell her what was on my mind that very moment.

“Do you know why I decided to release the Banmal Song?” I asked. Joohyun just looked at me, puzzled; so I continued. “It’s because I want the world to know that this song is more than just a mission. This song is ours. This song is us. But releasing it on my own somehow defeated the purpose of its existence, and I have to admit that I overlooked that,” I held her hand tighter and leaned closer so she may feel my sincerity.

“But then, you performed it tonight and changed the lyrics; and suddenly, the song was perfected. It was no longer for a mere mission. It was no longer mine alone. It became solely ours once more, and so our love was strengthened; and as long as people remember this song, they will remember us,

“And I just want you to know that I am really so proud of you and what you have become while in this relationship. Even though we are not exactly that much of a couple now, I love you still and I will love you until you decide that you don’t want me in your life anymore,” I promised her.

Joohyun was looking at me like I spoke in different language – but not in a bad way though. She was looking at me, her eyes twinkling more than ever, glistening with tears I know she never would let out. I know there were lots of questions to ask and things she wanted to say that very moment; but there’s only one answer which I know she will be most pleased to hear, and I, very much pleasured to reveal.

“I am the happiest man on Earth, Seo Joohyun,” I whispered lovingly. “Thanks to you.”

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I am actually writing from the hospital. And that's the reason why I wasn't able to update anything during the holidays. After I got sick, it was my grandmother who had to be rushed to the ICU on the noon of Christmas so this came late.
 

Anyway, I wish you guys liked this one. Personally, one of the best parts of the black room interview was when Yong talked about the surprise performance of Banmal Song. How he obviously claimed that it was their song (and hopefully almost spilled the beans when he said 'we') was truly imposing. 

Oh well. Finally, CNBLUE and SNSD schedules will probably meet. & FNC has just transferred its office to Gangnam, very close to SME. =))) Oh well. And this is late, but how were your reactions when you learned that Hyun WENT TO CNB'S CONCERT??? XDDDD