Title: This Is What I felt- Part 1

Author: xxryexx

Length: Oneshot

Genre: Pg

Warning: Not beta read...

Summary: Two man standing in the altar look each other...One crying while one smiling...

He's looking at you while mouthed ‘thank you’. You don’t know what the thank you stated for.... You think you didn’t do anything to deserve it. He's smiling at you...While your heart aching inside....You have to fake your smile....’Smile damn it! Smile...this is for him....This is the last thing that you can do for him. For his happiness...’ You remind that to your self......

Flash back........

“What do you think?”

“Uh?” You closed your book and look at the grinning man in front of you.

“Aish....pay attention....That one...Long straight black hair. She’s beautiful isn’t it?” He pointed to the girl who sits at two raw in front of your tables.

“Oh....” You bite your lips while look at the girl. She’s pretty. Exactly like his types.......

“What ‘oh’? Yah...what do you think?” He asked curiously. He really impatient to hear your opinion. You chuckled with his respond.

“Er..yeah...She’s pretty....” You nodded while smile softly at him.

“Cool! I’m going to make her mine.” He announced happily and with determines face. You gasped. But then you smiles.....

“Ah...happy for you.” You’re happy to see your best friend happy smile.

“Wait here.....I go get her phone number.” You look at him who walked confidently to the girl tables. You sighed and then open the book back and continue reading the chapter that you missed....But the truth is......The book just a cover for your sadness while your mind flying to the other soul that walking away from you moments ago...You thought this is the right decision that you ever made ...you decide to save him rather to save your self.......You don’t want to tainted him.....Let it just be you sank in this deepest darkness....

End of Flash back

If you could turn back the time, you wish you didn’t said the same thing to him. You wish you won’t encourage him to get close to her......Because you know now..... you’re bleeding inside...and it’s  really hurt you every times you see him together with her......

“You ok?” The hand touched your shoulder gently from behind makes you smile. You don’t need to look back to know whose the hands belong to because you already familiar with the warmth that radiant from his body.

“Uh?” His question startled you...You frowned while looking at him.

“You’re crying....” He cupped your face but you quickly brushed his hands away. You turned to the back and wipe your tears quickly. Damn... you didn’t event realize you’re crying!!

“Ah..it’s just dust......” You turned to him after make sure you dried away your tears and plastered your fake smile on your face in front of him.

“Jae......is something wrong?” You know it’s didn’t worked when he frowned more. Damn! You hate when he acting that way...Acting like he knows everything.....

“No..no....what make you think like that? Aish....you mess up your ties again.” You tried to change the topic quickly. You fixed his necktie...This is the last time that you’ll do it for him....You stated that on your mind.

“It’s hot.....” He grinned while watching your expert hands work in his neck ties.

“Yah...just hold on. The matrimony only takes few minutes.......” You smile a little with his childish behavior. One of his charms that never failed to amused you...and stealth your heart away.

“I don’t know what to do without you...” He muttered the words on your ears. You smile ‘Me either’ your heart answered....But of course you didn’t dare to voice it out loudly.

“You have to learn live without me since you’ll be live with Yoo Jin soon.” You smile at him before straight up his white tuxedo for him.

“You really don’t want to say anything to me?” The question make you frowned. What exactly that he wanted to hear from you??

“Eh? what should I say? I already congratulated you right?” You frowned while scratched your not so itchy head.

“Never mind......” He turned to back. But you manage to take a glimpse at his face....He look.... disappointed? But why....

The bell ringing...You take it as the signal to start the event.....

“It’s time....Lets stand on the altar to wait your bride....” You smile while linked your arms with him. He just nodded without a word.

Flash back

“Jae...what do you think?” You frowned. It’s really weird when two guys inside the bridal boutique shop.... rite?.....You don’t know what make you agreed when he suddenly asked you to come with him to choose his bride wedding dress.

“Uh?”You startled when he shows the white long wedding dress to you. You blinked your eyes to the dress and then to him. He knitted his eyebrow waiting for your answered.

“Aish...say something....”

“It’s a dress....”You stated dumbfoundedly. He Just chuckled and shove the dress to your hands.

“I know it’s a dress.....i need your opinion....”He really makes you confused. Didn’t he suppose to be with his fiancé to do this job? What this gotta to do with you? You asked your self while looking at the wedding dress that on your hands now.

“Er...you should ask your soon to be wife a.k.a your fiancé Yunho ya...not me....”You sighed while shove the dress back to him. He pouted. You just chuckled. But this is really don’t make sense.......

“She’ll be ok. She will wear whatever I choose for her.”He grinned....

“Then it’s your job who supposed to choosing for her...not me....”

“But Jae I still need your opinion on this. I can’t choose without you agree with it...Beside your body measurement almost same with her and you have good taste in fashion.” You know you can’t win with his silly pout. You stood up and made up your mind...You not going to decide anything this time......

“Silly.....let me call Yoo Jin to ask her to come....I will be right back....” You walked through the door to the outside of the shop. Thankfully he’s not following you. You don’t want him to see you cries again.....

End of Flash back

He involved you with every decision that he made.....without notice he torture you long enough.... Your heart falls into pieces and now broken into shattered.... The day he said he want to proposed her....is the same day that you decide to bury your feeling that you have for him....

Flash Back

“Jae..ah...i want to tell you something...”You look at him. He look very nervous. Something telling you that it’s going to be serious matters. And you’re right...

“Hm? What is it?”You already prepared mental and emotional. He take your both hands and hold it tightly.

“I want to propose YooJin...what do you think?”You gasped.....He waited for your answered.

“Y..you serious?”Damn.....You thought you already prepared mental and emotional but you’re wrong! You knees felt weak....You even stuttered when talking with him!

“Yeah...I’ve never been serious like this before.”You see his face...And you know he already made up his mind.

“Good.... er...i should congratulate you first then....”You smile and hugged him to congratulate him...You felt your single tears fall on his shoulder...Of course he didn’t notice it.....

“But I didn’t prepare the ring...”He whispered on your ears. You chuckled and smacked his arm lightly.

“Yah! You said you want to propose her but you didn’t prepare the ring?”You arched your eyebrow, questioning him.

“That’s why I need you...”He grinned slyly. You don’t understand....Why must he involve you in everything?

“Silly....”You muttered to him but actually you said it to your self too.....Why did you let him to hurt you more? Simple.....Because you’re actually the silly one who in ‘love’ with that silly boy!

“Lets get the ring.....”He gripped you hand and dragged you to door. You can’t do anything then just followed.

End of flash back.

“Do you Jung Yunho take Park Yoo Jin as your wife?” The priest voice comes to your ears. You looked down and waited for his ‘I do’ answer....You take a deep breath.....You told your self this is the last wound that you’ll take because of this man.....

“..................” You waited for almost few minutes but nothing comes like you expected.... You can hear gasped from the guest audience. But you didn’t dare to lifted you head.

“You’re crying....” You startled when you felt soft caresses on your check. Immediately you look at the owner of the hand. He smiles softly at you...

“Uh.....are you crazy? Pay attention to the priest!” You scold him. He just chuckled and wipes away your tears.

“Why are you crying?” He asked softly almost like whispered to you....

“I’m happy for you idiot....just....look in front of you.” You hold his hand while looking to the bride who looking at you too....Slowly you let go your hand. This isn’t right......You shouldn’t do this....

“Er..... sorry......” You bowed to Yoo Jin, to the priest and then to the groom and bride families....you felt it’s your fault for distract his attention.

“Continue sir....” You smile to the priest. The priest nodded....You asked him to look back to the priest....He smiles and then slowly turned his attention back to the priest.

“Do you Jung Yunho take Park Yoo Jin as your lawful wife..” You heard the priest asked him once again. You smile. This time you decide to walked away from him slowly without his notice because you know you can’t bear to heard ‘I do’ after the affection that he show to you moments ago.

“I.....” You hear his voice......You quicken your step to the out door....Try to avoid to hear the complete ‘I do’ words....You leaned on the wall and cried as soon as the door closed back....You take a deep breath to calm your self......

You look at the chapel for the last time before you get in the limousine that waited for you in the entrance yard. After satisfied, you get inside and slump on the soft seat.

“Drive.....i got flight to catch up” You said to the driver...It’s time to move on...

‘Good bye Jung Yunho............i’ll always pray for your happiness...’ You whispered the words to the air before your wipe the last tears that fall from your eyes....

‘I’ll always love you........’

....This is what I felt’.....................

********************

TBC