There's nothing more ordinary than the want to be exceptional.
 

In the hot stuffy dance studio filled with tens of exceptional dancers, Eunhyuk repeated the same words in his mind over and over again.
There was nothing like Thursdays and Modern dance basics with Mr. Kim. It was the first class of the day and the most dreaded time of the week for the whole dance major in Seoul national academy.
"Again!", the wimp like voice of the old man cracked trough the studio and everybody tried their best to not jump in fright.
In the first line in front of the mirrors, Eunhyuk took a deep breath and slowly lifted his right leg above his head. He stood still for some second waiting for the cue, teeth sinking deep into his bottom lip to ignore the burning pain in his ankle.
"And 1...2...3...", the whole class made a smooth turn. Along with many others Eunhyuk fell on the floor.
"You idiots! Are you really human dancers or just freaking monkeys?!"
Eunhyuk cursed under his breath and rubbed in his throbbing foot. He had strained his ankle about a week ago during one of his solo practices. He kept going to practice thought telling himself it will become better in a day or two. When it wasn't even bearable he just started taking pain killers. He wished he had taken a few more today.
It was the end of the semester now and everybody was preparing for the stage performance - the first of the year and thus the most important one. Eunhyuk finally had the chance for a leading role too. He simply couldn't be caught in pain.

"This is your chance", they would say.

"You either shape up and go for the win or you lose and you die.", they would say.

Because here in this world everything was measured in success. There was no room for failure.

Eunhyuk knew people that were constantly drugged with medication, that were constantly hungry, that went days without sleep. Ballerinas, breakers, modern dancers it was all the same. Everyone was always aiming for the top, destroying everything that can stand on the way. Even if it was their own body.
He came in this reality two years ago. He was still young, still naive, boosting on praises and beliefs that he was 'One in a million'. It took him a day to realize that he's not special anymore. That if he wanted the spotlight he had to fight tooth and nail.
Being in pain meant nothing here. Because the only thing remembered was the winner.  And now was the time where this winner was going to be chosen.
"What all of you are waiting for? Cookies and tea?! Again!"
Staring at the mirror Eunhyuk braced himself and started the whole move again. He forced his left leg to stay still, literally willing his nerves to numb.
'This could work.', he chanted to himself. 'Come on. A little bit more!'
"Keep it up, Eunhyuk." suddenly he felt the hated voice right next to him. 'Oh, no.'
Mr. Kim appeared in front, eyes glaring at his form just waiting for disaster. Biting his lips even harder the boy ever so slowly lifted his leg in the air once more.
"Move your leg nearer." Eunhyuk tried to do the order. "Nearer I said, boy." the man snapped at him.
Not waiting anymore for the blonde-boy to react, he grabbed the limb himself and forcefully pressed it to the boy's torso. "It should be parallel to your body! How many times should I say it?!"
In the midst of tearing pain, Eunhyuk could feel as the palm lingered on his skin, squeezing the flesh lightly. He felt disgusted but didn't say anything , grabbing his tight even harder and looking straight ahead. There was cold sweat on his forehead and his eyes were already tearing up.
"Now turn." And he did so. Wobbily.
"Stay still you imbecile! Do it again. From the start!"
He truly hoped his bone would be ok after this as he repeated the move again. And "Again!". And "Brat! Again!", till for sure he couldn't stay upright anymore, let alone spin on one leg.
When the class finally was over and everybody was slowly exiting the room, he could only drag himself to the nearest wall and collapse gracelessly on the floor, breath coming in deep strangled puffs. 

"You have to make sacrifices in order to be the best. Nothing is more important than that after all."

"You ok there, Eunhyukie?", suddenly an unexpected voice sounded from above. Opening one eye Hyukjae saw the worried cat eyes of JiYeon, one of his classmates this year.
Swallowing his curses he tried to sit up straight, back against the wall, and flashed a gummy smile to the girl in front.
"I'm fine, noona. Just tired."
JiYeon was the best dancer in the class, one of the best in the whole school. She was the last person Hyukaje would want to reveal his pain. So catching her still hesitant voice he forced yet another adorable grin and pouted after that.
"He was a real jerk today, don't you think? I wonder why he's not in some madhouse.", he exclaimed earning himself a smile.
Somewhat convinces the girl stood up and went to get her things to leave. The blonde watched her relieved, resting his head on the cold wall behind him. He could not move at all.
"By the way Hyukkie, can you talk to Donghae sunbennim?", already at the door JiYeon snapped him back again. "I want to ask him about this year's performance."
"Oh.", almost invisibly Hyukjae's face fell. "O-ok"
"Tell him to call me, ok? Maybe to meet tomorrow or something"
"Don't worry.", Hyukjae got a grip of yourself nodding eagerly. "And I will demand that he accepts you ideas without any protests."
"Oh, I doubt it, but thank you sweetie.", JiYoen came to him again and bending kissed him affectionately on the forehead. "You rest, ok?"
"Last chance though." Eunhyuk cheekily called after her. "Don't you want to do the performance with me?"
It earned him a laugh.
"Yeah, maybe next year, honey.", JiYeon grinned. "Now I better go before I turn even more stinky. Take care!"
And like that she was gone, Eunhyuk left alone on the floor n hopeless misery not able to control his body anymore.
"Of course she will want to do it with Donghae.", he muttered, scolding himself. "If she can choose from the best, do you think she will choose you?"
Only he had made his mind to actually ask JiYeon to do the dance for this year's academy holiday together. It was just a small stage but enough of a chance. A chance for his hopes to be crushed.

"You want to survive here? Quit your whining and get to work. Dream? Nobody cares for such stupid thing here."

With a loud groan Hyukjae reached blindly for his jumper, digging into the pockets till his hand came in contact with the round bottle of his pain relieve medicine. He hastily took it out and popped two of the small white pills in his mouth, not even needing water to swallow them.
"This is really bad for your health, you know this Hyukkie.", a familiar voice sounded from the door surprising the blonde.
"Hae!", turning his head Hyukjae exclaimed smiling widely.
Casually in the door frame stood Lee Donghae a.k.a the greatest person in the whole world.
It was stupid really, Hyukjae decided mentally as he was looking at him, it was so stupid for his heart to beat like this to the mare sight at him. It was almost obscene because they knew each other for five years and Hyukjae had been in love for four years, eleven months, thirty days, twenty three hours and fifty minutes.
But the gentle smile that the elder wore like a second skin just made his cheeks turn red yet again and if it wasn't already so hot in the room and he wasn't sweaty and out of breath, he would be panicking.
"Hey, cutie.", Donghae said to Hyukjae ruffling his hair caringly as he sat next to him on the floor. "How are you?"
To that the blonde boy just shrugged not really liking to tell lies to Donghae. He saw the plastic bag in his head and instead busied himself with opening it and seeing what the other had gotten them for lunch. It was mostly fruits since they had to watch their calories but between the bananas the blonde spotted the one and only pink bottle that held his happiness inside. It was a bottle of strawberry milk, permitted one time in a week, on Thursdays, and with the sole purpose of cheer him up after the Modern dance class. Quickly he grabbed it and putting the straw in took a long sip, closing his eyes in pleasure.
"Yah! Eat something first!" Donghae cried out but with clear amusement in his voice.
"I don't have time, hyung. I have another lesson in like twenty minutes."
"You are still going?"
He could literally hear the frown impending on the other's forehead. 'Damn.'
"I-I will be f-fine. Don't worry.", stuttering the boy said silently. "I can't miss this practice... impressions...."
"You can barely walk, Hyukjae!", Donghae put his hands on Hyukjae's shoulders making him look up at him. "The stupid impression on the teacher would mean Nothing if it costs you your ankle, why don't you understand that?!"
His grip was firm but voice still gentle, as if afraid to actually raise it to his friend. Hyukjae almost visible flinched from the words though.
"I will be...It will be ok, hyung...", how he wished the medicine will freakin' start to work already. "In a few minutes it will calm down, it's all because of the stupid Kim."
"Hyukjae, I'm worried about you. Lately you have been pushing yourself way too hard. You even got hurt!" frustrated Donghae let him go, leaning on the wall again. "When will you understand it's not actually worth it?"
Oh, but it was, Hyukjae widened his eyes. It was because he had to show everybody that he was actually good, actually exceptional. He had to win.
"You did the same thing last year.", he muttered. "No matter how much we nagged you, you kept it up and got the role. I just want..."
"That was a different situation and my leg didn't need to be put in plaster!", Donghae interrupted him. "There will be another chance... Next year too..."
"I need to do it this year, Hae!", Hyukjae finally yelled. He could feel his head going lighter from the drugs and his emotions actually cracking up unable to hide. Why couldn't his closest person understand? "Next year will be my last. How can I leave it for then?!"
Donghae just looked at him taken aback for awhile. Hyukjae actually raising his voice it him, it was something different. As well as loosing an argument which was happening more and more lately.
Hyukaje on the other hand just looked at him, fire in his eyes. He loved Dongha, he really did. But even he knew that everything was pointless if he continued to treat him like his baby brother - like a kid. Their relationship, the whole academy thing, his life... He couldn't not grow up damn it. He had already made up his mind and this was it. This was the point where everything changes.
"You really want to be stubborn, hm?", giving up Donghae said. Actually pouting Hyukjae nodded eagerly.
"This is what I want, hyung. Now."
"Why do you need it, Hyuk?" he looked up straight at Hyukjae but the younger remained silent, hard look in his eyes.

'To win.' he said mentally. Just to win and feel good once again.
'But to win what?', as if another Donghae appeared in his head, the question popped.
'To win what is there to be won.'

"I promised to protect you Hyukkie. Why suddenly did you decide to make it so difficult?" Sighting heavily the elder gave up arguing.
Hyukjae actually smiled again at his words. He knew Donghae was still not pleased but he will soon understand, he believed that sincerely. He will use this opportunity to show him and world he was actually worth standing where he was. He knew Donghae will always worry about him. He was used being dotted over, hovered over, treated like a princess from the guy he just wanted one kiss from. But the same guy actually listening to him... this was something he was yet to fight for.

"Hae, I don't know what to say.", Hyukaje muttered embarrassingly looking down on the ground.

He was currently a high school junior on the roof top of his high school, the hottest senior looking at him with intently. What was supposed to be his response for God's sake?!

"It's simple, Hyukjae.", Donghae took a step closer and it took all of the younger's will to not step back. "Just say yes."

"But... But I'm younger. You are already finishing high school and I guess..."

"You think they wait for you to be a certain age to take you in? God, if they just see you dancing they will..."

"I'm not that great.", under his breath Hyukjae said.

He really didn't believe it though. He thought he was good, great even. Some called him a genius.

But when one afternoon he saw Donghae dancing in the practice room alone his breath was taken away. Could a person even move like this? And where Hyukjae falls then?

"You're great, Hyukkie!", Donghae took the other's hands in his. "Let's just try together, ok? I don't want to leave you here alone."

It was simply amazing how Donghae's eyed sparkled when he was excited.

"I'm scared.", without even realizing he confessed. "I'm scared to be alone. To leave far away. To be..." 'I'm scared to make a mistake. I'm scared I don't know is this is what I want to make of my life.'

Being young after all is not just an age. Hyukjae was terrified of deciding his future now. Even f it meant he will be with Donghae.

"I will always be there!", the elder suddenly hugged him. "I will protect you. Always!"

"Promise?"

"I promise!"

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" his voice echoed through the whole corridor but Hyukjae couldn't care less. Even when the students passing by turned their heads or all together stopped all he could see was Donghae's confused shocked face in front of him.
"Hyukkie calm ..."
"How could you do this to me, Hae?!", the younger cried out. "I explained,  I BEGGED, and yet... and yet you w-went to tell the ing b-bastard what? I CAN'T MOVE MY ANKLE?! REALLY DONGHAE?!"
Tears were freely rolling down the pale cheeks but he didn't even noticed them when the feeling of betrayal lashed so violently throughout his body.
"Hyuk, please, let's talk somewhere more private.", again Donghae tried to get closer and coax his friend but stepped back immediately when the sweet boy literally growled at him.
"Stay the away from me. Don't even dare to TOUCH ME Lee Donghae!"
Everybody around were standing there shocked by the scene. Eunhyuk was famous in the academy not only because of his relatively young age but known also for 'the adorable innocent blond that hangs around Donghae sunbaenim'. Nobody had ever heard his so much as rising his voice at somebody.
"Hyukjae please calm down." Donghae repeated taken aback. "I was damn worried but you didn't even wanted to listen to me. I had to do something."
"I DIDN'T ASK YOU!"
"YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO!", now Donghae was screaming and Hyukaje couldn't help but flinched scared. "You couldn't in' walk properly, Hyuk! What else did you want me to do?!"
They were definitely making a scene in the middle of the hallway. Students were standing in a semi circle around them wondering what had happen to the 'golden couple' as they called the two friends. The anger literally emitted from Hyukjae and Donghae himself was looking with fury.
"I didn't ask you to solve my problems, Donghae.", quietly Hyukjae stated. "I didn't want your help this time. It was my performance, it was my work. You didn't have any business there. I just wanted to..." he couldn't speak clearly anymore. He lowered his head trembling from the tears.
"Cutie...", Donghae cautiously approached him again hugging him gently to his chest.
"Come on sweetie, calm down.", he whispered at his ear. "You can always do it for the second semester. You can always try next year."
"You still don't understand, Donghae hyung.", tearing apart from the embrace Hyukjae looked at him. He didn't have the energy to fight anymore.
"I can accept you are never gonna love me more than a friend. I can accept you are better than me in dancing. But I can't... I just c-can't continue to be treated like a baby from you. I don't need you to protect me. Not anymore..."
"Hyukkie..."
The younger one slowly stepped back however and turned around before breaking into a run. He run outside the academy with full speed, leaving strangers, colleagues and his dearest person lost for words.

*   *   *

"SHUT UP DONGHAE, LEAVE ME THE ALONE ALREADY!"
Not even letting the other speak, Hyukjae closed his cell phone. He wasn't as angry and stopped cursing long time ago, but the anger and the angst was still inside of him. He doubted it will calm down even tomorrow.
He was feeling really sad and depressed right now, limping around the nearby park. He knew he had to go to the doctor for his leg later on because there was no point in hanging on now. He also knew Donghae must be damn worried about him - not only physically but after today - mentally too.
Hyukjae kicked some stones with his healthy foot annoyed at the events. All he wanted was to be given a chance to dance in the middle of the stage for once. All he wanted was to feel accomplished for once, to feel like he belonged.
But here he was - limping trough the park and finally getting aware of the stared the people around were giving him. Once you start shouting it was hard to stop it seemed.
He turned to the direction of the closest stare he could feel on himself with the means of giving the disturbed stranger a cure apologetic smile before going and hiding away from the world somewhere.

"AH! KYUHYUN!"

Instead he kinda yelled again. 

Oh my God, I hate this chapter. I hated it when I wrote it the first time and sadly I hated it now.
And no, it's not so much because I'm not pleased with the content but it's so hard to write it for some reason. The first one went sooo easy, one of the easiest I have ever written and the second one is maybe the hardest.
I'm not completely pleased with it obviously but I refuse to be caged by it anymore and spent another month rewriting it and gettign the same results!
 

Maybe it's more harder because I actually have experiances like Hyukjae's in this story.
Where Kyuhyun's story is deffinetly more tragic I think Hyukjae's at least for me is more relatable.
Because come on, who is a child prodigy suddenly lost their ability to perform the thing they are good at?
On the other hand the things Hyukaje is struggling with, I actually struggle with it too. So maybe conveying something from within is harder.

I don't really know. This chapter just !

Thank's for reading anyway ^^^

I would LOVE lovelovelovelovelove seeing your thought in the comment section!

Till the next time ^^^ 

PS: Does really somebody reads this part? I catch myself writing so much bellow the actual chapter and I just recently thought that probably no one sees it. Hehe . . .