"Just watch me Seohyun-ah. I'll shine on that stage. And it will be only for you!"

Everything changed. In a moment.

It was so tender he couldn't help but close his eyes and solely listen. Just like a mother's touch, the beautiful melody floated through the thin air, invading his body and intoxicating his soul. Note after note of pure gold were ringing in his ears and without permission lifting the corners of his lips, lightening his features with the first smile seen there for a long time. And probably after the magic stops it will disappear forever again.

Kyuhyun let his head fall on the bench's back. His right hand's fingers unconsciously started moving with the music as if there was piano right in front of him. As if the air was made of nothing but white and black keys and the only thing he needed to do it play in them. A little more! A little faster tempo and the song will be perfect, complete. It will flow like a water under his fingers, like the finest silk. So just a little bit more!  

He didn't care how he looked in this moment, didn't even realized this was a public place where people can watch and point and whisper. He couldn't care less in this moment. He has it stolen for himself and himself only. No one else.

"I get jealous with his piano, oppa.", Seohyun pouted teasingly touching the top of the mahogany piano in Kyuhyun's room. "I think you love it more than me. You definitely spent more time together."

Kyuhyun laughed at her and leaned forward to kiss the adorable pout away,

"Don't worry. I just live trough music. So I love you trough music too."

"Urg...So cheesy!", the girl pulled back glaring jokingly at her boyfriend. "So cheesy, I'm gonna die!"

"You are my favorite music, Seohyun." Kyuhyun grinned and her. And his smile only widened when his eyes followed the deep blush that crept on the rosy cheeks.

But it changed.

Kyuhyun didn't understand the charm of memories. How can one love them? Are there people who have past that makes them happier?
Because his only hurt him. His was composed of images he will never see again, words he will never hear, feelings he will never feel. People he wanted to hug but will never have the chance to. When memories came to him the only thing they did was to show him how pointless everything is. How he just wants to not be. Now and forever.

The music from the small church had stopped and with it the magic had dissolved. Kyuhyun looked up and saw a bunch of little kids coming out through the front gate, their choir lesson finished. He stayed sited for a little longer watching them as they passed by. Some were still singing the song from the lesson, but most just talking, running and shouting like every child is supposed to. And then there were those few who stayed silent and walked aside from the group. The smart ones. Or maybe the unfortunate ones.  

He watched them with dark, half-focused eyes and not trace of the gentle smile that graced his lips just few moments ago. The melody was now gone taking his only relief away. He will have to wait until tomorrow again, tomorrow at six o'clock. 

"Mom, did you see me? Was I good? It was so great, mom!", little Kyuhyun jumped around his parents on the way out of the hall. "They said I can be a real musician, mom!"

"Yes, honey.", the beautiful Ms. Choi smiled down at his excited ten years old son. "You have to practice though."

Little Kyuhyun nodded gaze determinated out of sudden. He wanted to go home at practice Shopen again.            

He changed.

This had become his daily routine.

Since he finished high school a year ago his spare time had increased immensely. The only thing he really needed to do is go to the doctors in every two months.

He spent his days mostly just walking around the streets and observing the world that had left him behind. He hated it, he was jealous of it. Because he didn't belong anymore and because it was so easy for it to just move on and leave him. At one point it became too hard for Kyuhyun to run and catch everyone.

One morning, after all night of mindlessly brooding again searching for something that can make him feel, he found himself in this small park. It was fairly close to his house but in spite of that sufficiently sheltered so he hadn't notice it during the five years he lived in Seoul.

Honestly speaking there wasn't much noticing - some benches with two or three big trees and a bunch of flowers around them. Some university was really close so it was known as student's garden. Thus tossed bottles of beer and cigarette butts could be seen scattered around. Maybe there was some small playground inwards that nobody goes to, but he never knew.

He was about to quickly go away, find a place to sleep, perhaps even go home this time, when he passed a small protestant church hidden in the shadow of a big Oak. It was so early in the morning that no one was supposed to be here. But he was wrong. Out of sudden a note sounded, nailing him to the ground. It was like the first breath when you stay too long under the water - staggering and full of life.

So he sat down on a bench in front and closed his eyes. Stayed like this till the music died down.

Then came back tomorrow. And the day after that.

Now he continued to come every morning. He just sat on the same place and listened for an hour. From six till seven every day he found a way to black out the world. For one sacred hour nothing existed - the people, the world, his life. The only thing that mattered were those notes and the melody they create. The only thing permitted to be was the music.

"Kyuhyun!"

Turning around Kyuhyun saw a boy from his class running after him, panting heavily when he stopped right in front. It was Lee Hyukjae, some of the few people Kyuhyun actually managed to talk in school in between his rehearsals and competitions.

"Yeah?" he smiled at him.

"Is it true that you are going to Seoul the next year? They say your whole family is moving there so you can study at the Seoul music academy?", Hyukjae asked with wide open eyes. Kyuhyun couldn't help but grin wider, showing off.

"My parents decided it's the best decision after I got accepted.", he stated full of pride.

"I'm so happy for you!", Hyukjae nodded and gleefully hugged Kyuhyun, startling him a little bit since he wasn't really a touchy guy.

"I hope you will have the greatest time there!", the blonde whispered in his ear. "And let's meet when I go to Seoul too, neh?"

So changed.

A piercing sound ripped him out of his mind. Kyuhyn felt his cell-phone vibrate in the pocket of his jeans. He actually remembered to take it this morning.

It wasn't a smart phone, just an old model. He didn't care about it, didn't use it, most of the time lock it inside his room. There was nothing important he might hear trough it after all.

With sore expression Kyuhyun took the device out, carefully using his left hand and irritated looked at the screen. As he expected it was a massage for his mom. The only person who still bothered really.

"Kyuhyun-ah, I just want to make sure you remember about your appointment today.

I forgot to remind you in breakfast but it's important that you come, right?
I will be in front of the hospital at 11. Don't be late.

Dr. Woo says he misses you so be sure to arrive on time. It's important.

Love you!"

He sighed at the text. What were these words? 'Don't forget', 'it's important', 'love you', so many words just to say one thing: 'Don't you dare run off like the last time Kyuhyun.'
They all made sure he went to see Dr. Woo every second month. It was the only control his parents had over him and Kyuhyun suspected they exercised it over him just so they could prove it's still there.

'It's for your own good, son.' they would say. But he didn't see it. He only say the white room and the man in white clothes telling him white lies. Exactly the same as the previous month's. On and on, the same meaning repeating for whole two years now. Like someone deliberately wanted to drive him mad.

And God, was he succeeding!

"And this is Seohyung. She's majoring in singing.", Jonghyun pointed at the only girl among the group.

It was his first day in the academy and he was nervous. Everybody seemed more experienced than he was, smarter than he'll ever be. Jonghyun was the first guy he met in Choir, something he had to take alongside his piano major. He was nice and friendly, but maybe too enthusiastic in helping him around and meeting him with thousands of new people he wouldn't remember.

"So, you are the new guy everybody talks about, huh? It's so rare to get into the academy during the second year." Seohyun smiled and him and offered him her hand as a greeting.

"This guy is amazing, I tell you. You must be there to hear him when he sits on the royal.", Jonghyun laughed sitting next to his friends.

Kyuhyun however didn't really hear anything anymore. His eyes were glued to Seohyun's smiling one, hand feeling hers. He was in trance, now and forever.

He was in love for the first and last time.

And now everything is gone.

"I see you're here this time, Kyuhyun.", Do. Woo, his orthopedist, greeted Kyuhyu and his mother as they walked in. His mom was holding his elbow tightly as they entered the examination room, as if still scared her son will turn around and run away like the last time. They both nodded to the middle-aged man.

Without waiting to be told, Kyuhyun went to sit on his usual place - the white bed next to the windows. He looked around, semi-interested, nothing much had changed since his last visit. There was a new boring painting on the wall - a vase full of bright yellow flowers.

"So, how have you been lately?", the doctor spoke first drawing his attention back. "Anything exciting?"

Kyuhyun didn't react, staring at his large-tooth smile full of pearly white teeth. He cringed at the sight, he hated that smile so much. It was predatory, waiting for the patient to give in and hand it the only sanity, the only privacy he had left. Instinctively Kyuhyun pulled away, back meeting the wall behind him. Quickly he shook his head 'no'.

"You still refuse to talk?", Dr. Woo frowned turning his head to his mother, who was still standing beside the door. She looked at her son with worried eyes and for a moment Kyuhyun still felt she was his parent and she actually maybe still loved him.

"He talk sometimes. Not often but when he needs something he does. He's not good at it though.", she then told the doctor. Her voice was somehow muted as if Kyuhyun wasn't supposed to hear her words. He wished it could actually happen.

The doctor sighed and looked at the young man before him, brows knitted together.

"I told you it's a matter of practice, Kyuhyun.", his look was accusing. "You have to practice in order to be able to talk like before. I explained before, you need to use your voice or it will complete decay."

As it's not already, Kyuhyun thought. What was the point then? And why one thing needed practice to get better while the other was destined to die?

Starting the actual examination, dr. Woo took his right hand. He held it close to his eyes, pressing on of the fingers carefully.

"You have to do a scan again soon." he said to the boy as he pressed at a particular spot. Kyuhyun winced feeling as the pain spread upwards reaching till his elbow and slowly numbing away.

"You haven't strained it, have you?", the doctor asked him, looking suspiciously at Kyuhyun. The younger shook his head declining.
"You know how bad it can get if you overstrain it again, Kyu..."

"I haven't done anything with it.", Kyuhyum said quietly. It was the first time he spoke for days, but he wanted the other to get it that he didn't do absolutely nothing with his right hand. Absolutely nothing!

The voice that came out from his mouth was hardly his. It was hoarse and grunting, almost a whisper. He could feel his throat hurting just from the effort to produce sound again. But it was worth it in his eyes, anything to shut up the doctor.

His eyes peered at the floor. He felt the need to flee as soon as possible from here. His mind refused to  think of anything but that. And he will never come back! No matter who asked him, begged him, told him how good it is for his health. Every minute spent in this white room was torture, torture with this predatory broad smile which was hunting him and waiting the perfect moment to crush him. Every minute spent here is a minute he realized he will never be happy again. With every tack of the clock the reality became more and more real.

"He doesn't want to go to his physiatrist.", his mother spoke out again and this time Kyuhyun looked at her with disdain. She was taken aback but continued nevertheless. "I always tell him. Tell him it's so he can become better again, so he can be the same..." 'Can I really be the same, mom? Will they give me some pills to make me all better again?'

"It's normal to be in shock, Ms. Choi. We both know how big was the impact on him." 'Do you?' "It's only normal for him to take so much time recovering. After all it's possible only if he really wants it." Dr. Woo looked at Kyuhyun's face.

"And I believe one day he will."

'Do you really get it?'

" Devastating news!

Child prodigy may never play again!

A young life lost!
A big car crash on 3rd avenue left one person death and other three injured. Among the injured is Choi Kyuhyun, a former child prodigy in music, now one of the most promising young pianist of South Korea.

The teenager, seventeen years old,  was supposed to represent his country last night at the prestigious Clevelant competition for pianists. While he and his parents were traveling however the car was brutally hit with another. Informants told Soul news that the driver of the second car was mostly probably drunk.

Choi Kyuhyun is currently in a hospital. He has a broken arm and a broken rib but after successful intervention from specialists he's out of danger.

 Sadly the young pianist's girlfriend Seo Ju-hyun who was riding along with him to cheer her lover, didn't make it off the operation table. We offer out condolences. "

"Play it again, oppa. I love it!"

Kyuhyun started running as soon as he smelled the fresh air outside the hospital. He didn't wait for his mother to come out, he didn't say goodbye to kind Dr. Woo. He forced his legs, at least still healthy, to move in random direction. Faster, faster, as far away from the hospital as he could. As far away from himself as they will permit.

He saw her again yesterday. In his dreams. And then in the morning crowd near the bus station. It took him a moment to realize it could not be Soehyun and to not shout out. It always happened after this kind of dreams. At first he used to see her everywhere. For moths he believed Seohyun was the new neighbor that moved next door. For weeks he thought she was the new worker at the supermarket. He learned his mistakes the hard way.

'Grand injuries' they called it. A palm almost totally destroyed and a rib which pierced his lungs so hard that the surgeon had to sacrifice his vocal cords to take it out. And a permanent hole in his heart.

In one moment everything changed. His life was ripped and tossed on the 3rd Avenue's road to die. Now he waited his body slowly to follow.

"Kyuhyun oppa!"

Changed.

Eventually he found himself unable to continue running. He felt his lungs screaming for help and stopped, taking the deepest breath he could. He sat on the ground, not really caring where he was although he felt grass under his fingers, and waited for his muscles to slowly relax. After the dull pain in his chest subsided too he finally opened his eyes again.

Half expectantly he was in the same little park, probably because it was the only place that offered him some kind of piece lately.

But not now, as there was no music and too many people around. It actually surprised him how much people were there. No one of course paying him attention, but walking, playing, sitting and talking. He never saw the park so full before.

Suddenly feeling awkward, a sense long forgotten he thought, he stood up from the ground and dragged his feet to the same bench from this morning where he fell down. He lied down on the hard wood, hand coming up to cover his eyes and separate him from the rest of the world. It wasn't, couldn't really be like before - when the melody was in the air, but it was still better than somewhere else right now.

"I'm sorry, Kyuhyun. But... But you are still alive, right? That matters!"

Changed.

CHANGED!

Now and forever. In just a moment.

Kyuhyun wanted to scream. He did scream. Every second in his mind.

No, it didn't matter! No, he was not still alive! No! NO!

"It changed. It changed. Itchanched...", like a mantra he was whispering to himself. Hoping the memories would stop. Hoping the pain in his lungs with get bigger and bigger and he will die.

Because nothing will come back and nothing had meaning now. The only thing left was his memories and they hurt. There was not release anymore.

"SHUT UP DONGHAE, LEAVE ME THE ALONE ALREAD. PAAAABO!

Out of nowhere near his head were words so loud they crashed all the thoughts in his head. In just a moment.

OMG, I didn't want to... I didn't want to kill her... Waaa :(

So yeah! There are changes mainly in the memories. Before I just put them in between and now I kinda tried to tell a story with them. And Seohyun is dead now. . . 

BTW Keep in mind that everybody who is 'bad' is bad only in Kyuhyun's mind as this is his point of view after all. Or maybe they are really bad and he sees their true colors >D. Nobody will now...

I'm quite happy with this. What do you think? Please tell me ^^^ 

Thank's for reading!