“You're not taking advantage of me.” Sungmin panted out when they finally pulled away. Kyuhyun had his hands pressing against Sungmin's back, the elder's head resting against his shoulder. “I wanted it, too.” 

 

Kyuhyun let his head fall back to hit the wall. He still had a guilty feeling that he had taken advantage of the situation, but he had to admit that nothing felt wrong—in fact, after Sungmin had pushed back, everything felt right. But this would never work. 

 

“I...I think I should go.” Kyuhyun whispered softly, closing his eyes with a sigh. 

 

Sungmin pulled back, almost violently fast. His eyes were wide as they stared blankly at Kyuhyun's chest. 

 

“But I just said you weren't taking advantage of me.” Sungmin said, his hands remaining against Kyuhyun's chest. 

 

“I know. That's not...that's not why.” Kyuhyun mumbled, letting his hands fall from Sungmin's sides. 

 

There was a painful pause as Kyuhyun watched Sungmin's eyes bounce around as he tried to process what was happening and what to say next. He jumped when Sungmin's eyebrows scrunched and he started screaming. 

 

“GET OUT!” Sungmin screamed, shoving at Kyuhyun's chest to show his seriousness. 

 

“Sung-”

 

“GET OUT! YOU GOT WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANTED TO KNOW, NOW LEAVE!” Sungmin didn't even try to stop the tears that began to fall. 

 

“But Sungmin, wait-”

 

“WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? GET OUT!” Sungmin screamed as he began pushing Kyuhyun towards the door violently. 

 

“Sungmin! Let me explain first!”

 

“NO! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING FROM YOU! GET OUT!” Sungmin was sobbing now. Kyuhyun was trying to fight back, to get Sungmin to relax so they could talk, but when he saw how hurt the elder was, he stopped. 

 

“Sungmin, I'm sorry...” Kyuhyun said gently as he allowed Sungmin to push him out the door. 

 

“Don't...just don't. I told you I've never told anyone else. Just get out.” Sungmin said in between sobs. 

 

“I'm sor-” Kyuhyun tried to apologize once again; however, the door slamming in his face cut him off. 

 

Sungmin locked the door quickly and sunk to his knees. He continued to sob as he clutched at his eyes, nearly clawing at himself. 

 

He sat there, rocking on his knees and clawing at his eyes, until he yelped when he finally, actually hurt himself. 

 

“!” Sungmin mumbled, as he tenderly felt around his right eye. He pulled his hand away with a gasp when he felt a thick liquid. “,” he repeated as he got to his feet and headed to his bathroom, bumping into his couch in his disorientation. 

 

Clumsily, Sungmin grabbed his hand towel and got it wet before placing it over his eye. Slumping on the toilet seat, Sungmin fought to keep from crying, again. 

 

He had trusted Kyuhyun. Granted, he had only known the other for about a day, but he had still trusted him. Sungmin thought Kyuhyun could finally be the person that could pull him out of his lonely, pathetic existence. He hadn't intended on the other kissing him, or on wanting to kiss him back, but things had seemed to flow that way. Maybe Sungmin was being naive—he had been so lonely for so long now, no one had truly tried to get to know him; he was bound to gain feelings towards the first person he felt comfortable enough to open up to, his emotions would be everywhere and it would almost be expected. This was nothing; Kyuhyun was nothing, just the first person he opened up to...and maybe the last. 

 

~

 

Kyuhyun slammed his forehead against the back side of his apartment door once he closed it behind himself. 

 

“What the ...” Kyuhyun sighed to himself. He slid to the floor, sitting with his back against the wall as he looked to his apartment. “I'm so ed...”

 

Kyuhyun closed his eyes, hiding himself from the disaster that was his apartment. There were stacks of sheet music everywhere. You couldn't see the coffee table he had in front of his couch, even if you removed the first layer of sheet music. There was music he had been given from school in order to study, there were black pages of staff paper for him to create his own masterpieces, and there was an uncountable number of staff paper with half-assed scratchings of wisps of music Kyuhyun heard in his head at times. But this was the life Kyuhyun had wanted—to be a professional musician. This is what it took to get there, he would constantly tell himself. No one else played a roll in his plan to success. 

 

But he had truly like Sungmin, had truly wanted kiss him and get to know him. But he had pushed Sungmin away. 

 

Kyuhyun stood up from the floor suddenly, trying to brush away the picture of a broken, sobbing Sungmin standing in front of him. He went to his kitchen and uncorked a bottle of wine his older sister had sent him for doing well on a music performance. He spent the night with his bottle of wine, sitting in front of a blank TV screen, reflecting on how much of a screw up he had turned out to be. 

 

~

 

Sungmin stubbornly stayed in his apartment all weekend, settling for ramen for every meal as his usual shopping day was Saturday. Eating too much ramen was better than running into Kyuhyun. 

 

Although he knew no one could see him, Sungmin had kept his sunglasses on all weekend, even accidentally falling asleep in them one night. 

 

On Monday, he left for school extra early, just to make sure he wouldn't run into the other as he left the building. While in his classes, he had managed to forget about Kyuhyun and what had happened. However, once his classes ended and he made his way to the music room, everything came flooding back to him. 

 

He heard music coming from the music room. Sungmin gripped his cane tighter as he his heels and went home, stopping for necessary food on the way. 

 

After a quick food shopping, Sungmin finally made it to his apartment building. 

 

“Hold the elevator!” Someone yelled just as Sungmin hit the button for his floor. Courteously, he held his hand in front of the doors in order to give the other person time. 

 

“Thanks! Oh...” 

 

Sungmin was about to nod in acknowledgment, when he recognized the voice. 

 

“Sungmin...” Kyuhyun said. He wanted to say more, but Sungmin turned to face forward, ignoring him. What would he have said anyway? There was nothing he could say that would explain and dismiss his behavior. 

 

Kyuhyun turned to face forward, as well, but looked back to the elder when he saw something that caught his attention. 

 

“What happened to you eye?” Kyuhyun asked. 

 

Sungmin twitched, but mumbled a short “nothing.”

 

“Above your eye is scabbed and bruised, Sungmin. What happened? Did you fall?” Kyuhyun persisted. He should have just left it alone, and he would have, had the cut above Sungmin's eye not been so harsh looking. “Did someone...hit you?”

 

“Why do you care?” Sungmin muttered. He was going to just continue to tell Kyuhyun nothing happened; however, he was still angry. 

 

“I do care, Sungmin. Did someone hit you?” Kyuhyun began to sound stern—if someone hit the elder, he wasn't going to let them get away with it. 

 

“Sure you do...”

 

“Sungmin, I...I know I was—wait!” Kyuhyun was about to try to explain himself; however, as soon as the elevator door opened, Sungmin rushed out and hastily made his way to his apartment. 

 

“Sungmin, wait. I want to talk to you.” Kyuhyun said as he hurried to walk next to Sungmin. 

 

“Why? So you can learn more personal , then shoo me away?” Sungmin said bitterly as he pulled out his house key. 

 

“What? No, that's not what I was doing!” Kyuhyun said.

 

“Right...” Sungmin said as he got his door open. He swiftly stepped inside and made to close the door, but Kyuhyun foot stopped him. 

 

“I just want to talk to you, Sungmin...about last night.” Kyuhyun said gently.

 

“Why? So you can make me comfortable with you, again? Then, I will confess something else I've never told anyone, trust you, fall for you, and then you can run away, again! Is that what you want to do?” Sungmin was borderline hysterical already. 

 

“No, Sungmin. That's not what I was doing, I swear. I just wanted to get to know you more.” Kyuhyun tried. 

 

“Let me save you the effort then!” Sungmin screamed, dropping his cane and groceries as he flung his door wide open. He threateningly stepped closer to Kyuhyun, causing the younger to step back, as he began to blow up. “I bet you want to know why I always go to that piano, right? Well, I used to play music before the accident! And I was good, too! I was going to make it big, be a professional—I was good enough to do it, you know! But then my eyes were ing taken away and I stopped playing! I haven't played one instrument in four years! I'm depressed and alone! There! Now you have all the personal information for the day! Happy? Now, good-bye, Kyuhyun!” 

 

Sungmin finished his rant with the slam of his door. Kyuhyun remained standing there, staring blankly at Sungmin's door for several minutes. 

 

“...” Kyuhyun mumbled after what seemed like 10 minutes of standing motionless in front of the elder's doorway.  He took a step toward the door, raising his hand to knock, but thought better of it. With a sigh, he turned to his own apartment, but suddenly got an idea. 

 

Kyuhyun rushed into his apartment and straight to his bedroom, completely disregarding the fact that he was stepping all over his sheet music. He grabbed what he needed and struggled to get it out of his bedroom and in front of Sungmin's door. This time, he knocked immediately. 

 

“Go away!” Kyuhyun heard Sungmin shout from inside his apartment. 

 

Kyuhyun rested his cheek against the door as he tried to speak to the other. 

 

“Please, Sungmin, just answer the door. I have something I want to show you. Please.”

 

“No. Whatever it is, I don't care. Go away.” 

 

“Sungmin...I'm so sorry. I pushed you away, but it wasn't because I don't like you, or because I don't want to see you again, or whatever reason you think, trust me.”

 

“Then why were you in such a hurry to leave? It...It was because of my eyes, right?”

 

“Oh, jesus.” Kyuhyun sighed, letting his eyes fall closed. He had prayed that Sungmin wouldn't jump to that conclusion—he didn't want to be another cause for the other to think badly of himself. “Sungmin, I promise you it wasn't because of your eyes. You are so beautiful, Sungmin.”

 

There was a pause on the other side of the door. 

 

“Sungmin, remember how I told you I don't lie? It's true. I don't lie, Sungmin, and I would never lie to you. You are the most beautiful person I've ever seen. You may think I'm just kissing your at this point, but I swear, Sungmin. It isn't even just how you look. The fact that you can still hold your own after everything that has happened to you is amazing to me. I know I could never do that. I give up too easily on everything—I have about a thousand unfinished pieces of music on the floor of my apartment to prove that to you.”

 

Kyuhyun paused for a moment, but continued after hearing only silence on Sungmin's end. 

 

“I swear I'm not lying about anything, Sungmin. I'll tell you why I left you last night. I was scared. I didn't think I thought of you like that...Sungmin, I have had my life planned out ever since I can remember, and ever since I can remember, everything has followed that plan exactly. But I had never planned for someone else—someone I would want to spend more time with than my piano, someone I would prefer talking with over my music coaches, someone I would be content to just sit with.”

 

Kyuhyun paused, again. 

 

“Sungmin, my plan didn't include anyone else, and I was scared things would change and go off course. But I...I realized that I don't care anymore. I don't care that you weren't planned for, because it feels right. I can't explain why I've missed you so much these past few days when we haven't even spoke with each other for more than two days. I can't explain it, but it feels right; it feels right that I should be missing you. You can say I'm being dramatic, but if this is what it takes, then so be it.”

 

Kyuhyun finally stopped for good. His voice cracked on the last words, and he knew he would begin to cry if he continued to pour his heart out anymore. He stayed like that, hoping against all hope that Sungmin had actually been listening. He was just about to release a sob and retreat to his apartment when he heard the lock on Sungmin's door click open. Kyuhyun stood straight suddenly, as he watched the door crack open, the right side of Sungmin's face visible. 

 

“W-What did you want to show me?” Sungmin's voice cracked, too. Had he been crying, Kyuhyun thought. 

 

“I have it here, but can I bring it into your apartment first?” Kyuhyun said, hopeful. 

 

Sungmin seemed to hesitate, weighing his options before he pulled his door open wider for Kyuhyun to walk in. 

 

Kyuhyun couldn't stop the smile that took over nearly all of his face as he picked up what he had brought to show Sungmin and carried it into the elder's living room. 

 

“What is it?” Sungmin asked after he had closed the door and followed Kyuhyun into the living room. 

 

“I'll show you. Come here.” Kyuhyun made to grab Sungmin's hands, but at the first contact, Sungmin flinched away. 

 

“Don't.”

 

“I'm sorry.” Kyuhyun rushed out, letting his head fall in shame. “It's...It's about four steps directly in front of you.” 

 

With a hard face, Sungmin took four steps forward, his hands held out in front of him. When his fingers curled from hitting something large, he gasped—he knew what this was. 

 

“Why would you bring this here? To taunt me!” Sungmin shouted to Kyuhyun, stepping away from the object.

 

“Taunt you? What? No, Sungmin!” Kyuhyun sounded heartbroken. 

 

“After what I just told you, why would you bring a keyboard into my apartment?” Sungmin shouted, burning tears slowly making their way down his cheeks. 

 

“I thought...I thought we could play it. I thought you could play it. I didn't bring it to taunt you, Sungmin.” Kyuhyun said gently. 

 

“Take it back and get out of my apartment, Kyuhyun.” Sungmin said sternly. 

 

Kyuhyun paused a moment. He didn't know what to say anymore. He had poured his heart out for Sungmin to hear; he had nothing more to give. But he did...

 

Without any warning, Kyuhyun swiftly stepped up to his keyboard and began playing his favorite piece of music, the same piece he had played for Sungmin in the music room, the sad, slow but fast song he had heard Sungmin hum along with. It was a song he thought spoke for his heart when he couldn't any longer. 

 

“Stop.” Sungmin said, two bars into the song. 

 

“Play with me.” Kyuhyun said forcefully as he removed his fingers from the keys. 

 

“No. I said, get out.” Sungmin tried to sound as forceful as Kyuhyun, but it wasn't working; his emotions were back to cause him to loose control. 

 

“Play it with me. I know you remember it.” Kyuhyun said, again. He reached out and grabbed Sungmin's hand, forcefully tugging him to the keyboard, ignoring the slight resistance from Sungmin.

 

“Please, get out.” Sungmin tried, once again.

 

“Play it with me.” Kyuhyun repeated as he laid Sungmin's hands over the right keys. 

 

Sungmin shook his head, causing more tears to escape from below his sunglasses. 

 

“Play it with me.” Kyuhyun repeated as he began playing the song. Sungmin remained frozen, hands resting on the keyboard.

 

“Please, Sungmin.” There was desperation in Kyuhyun's voice this time, his previous confidence and forcefulness gone. 

 

Sungmin let his head drop as he felt his fingers twitch, accidentally pressing a note. 

 

“I can't...” Sungmin choked out, but kept his hand on the instrument. 

 

“You can, Sungmin. You can do anything.” Kyuhyun said gently, but with a confidence that even Sungmin couldn't ignore or fight. 

 

When Sungmin hesitated in doing anything, Kyuhyun reached out with his free hand and took Sungmin's free hand into his own. 

 

“You can do it, Sungmin.” Kyuhyun said with a squeeze to the elder's hand. 

 

“What if I can't? What if I can't play anything anymore?” Sungmin finally spoke his fear that had been plaguing him since the accident. 

 

“You will never know unless you try.” Kyuhyun said with another squeeze to the elder's hand. “If you don't try, you'll regret it forever.” 

 

Kyuhyun paused for just a brief moment as he reflected on his advice for the elder. If you don't try, you'll regret it forever—he could use that advice, as well. If he ignored his feelings for Sungmin and just continued on the plan he had laid out for himself, would he regret it forever? He would never know unless he tried, right?

 

Kyuhyun was ripped from his thinking as he heard notes being played that were not coming from his own fingers. His eyes shot over to Sungmin, his fingers moving a bit slow, but still gracefully over the keys. 

 

Sungmin's head was down as his fingers moved by memory—this had been his favorite song to play on the piano, after all. He didn't need to see the sheet music in front of him to know where his fingers should go next. 

 

He let out a sudden sob as he realized it was like he had never stopped playing, like he had practiced this piece just yesterday and was performing it for a friend—he hadn't lost everything with his sight. 

 

“I can do it.” Sungmin sobbed out, his fingers never moving nor faltering.