How does that Human of the Year stuff work, anyway? Guess I'll never know.

After a bit of a lecture from the old guys I was sent off with a "good luck" and pushed out the door. Yeah, real nice people. I found Lu Han still waiting in the now-empty town square, sitting under a tree looking half-asleep.

If this were one of those sappy love stories you find on the internet, this is where I would smile and comment on how peaceful he looks and maybe chuckle or something.

But, because this is me and not a sappy love story role, I rolled my eyes and poked his shoulder until he was wide awake and poking back.

As we walked back to my house, bike in hand, through the really-too-bright-sunshine, I groaned. I still don't think I'd gotten this whole "Human of the Year, you're special, fantastic, full of promise" thing down at the time.

"What kind of priviledges would a Human of the Year get, anyway?" I ask Lu Han, skipping alongside me. How he could have so much energy after all that's happened? Is it just a short people thing..?

"Besides a bright and beautiful future in whatever field you decide to devote your life to?" he looks to me sarcastically. "Gee, I don't know. Bragging rights?"

"Very funny, Lulu. I just thought that somehow, becoming the Human would make me... I don't know, enlightened? Make the fog disappear, suddenly clear my mind to what I want to do with my life?"

Lu Han snorted. "Does it work that way?" he asked, but in the way where you're not really expecting an answer. I ignored him.

"Ugh... I'm going to be the universe's only useless Human of the Year. In the history of forever."

"You're still not sure what you're going to do, Kris?"

I remember that he looked up at me, the worry obvious in his expression.

"I thought, I don't know, you would come with me and we'd go into music together, like... we... um... you know what? Forget it. Hope you decide soon."

Thinking back, he was probably going to say "like we promised", because back in eighth grade we decided we'd become famous idols together. I don't think we even cared where, as long as we started somewhere. It was a lot easier to make decisions as a kid.

It's when you get older and the world opens it's truths to you that it gets difficult.

Like your father telling you that your dreams were stupid. That they wouldn't get you anywhere. You were better off with something that requires a higher education in some form, health or science or debate.That ensures you'll do well. But not that sort of music that you want. That sort of thing is up to chance, and in the end, natural talent, and you will have none of it.

I remember thinking these same kinds of thoughts as I walked along the streets with Lu Han that day. I guess I'm a bit predictable. But along with that, I was also thinking that now I was Human of the Year, and I could succeed now, no matter what. So why did it take me so long to decide?