Facing the door, Dara was contemplating whether she should push through or not.

 “I can’t believe Seungri talked me into this.” She mumbled while shaking her head.

She started punching some numbers in the keypad by the door frame.

After the last number, she closed her eyes and held her breath.

She heard the beeping sound indicating that the door is now open.

Breathing a sigh of relief, she opens the door and entered.

In the living room, she was greeted by a familiar setting.

Jiyong was lying on the couch covered with thick blanket and beside him was the coffee table filled with empty cups of ramen and water bottles. There were also some empty beer cans on the floor and she noticed that the glass ash-tray that they use as décor was now filled with cigarette butts.

She couldn’t help but shook her head at what she was seeing.

“I shouldn’t have stored those ramen here.” She muttered, heading towards him.

He was sleeping so soundly not knowing that she was already inches away from him.

She placed her hand on his forehead to check his temperature.

“Omo,” She gasped. “You’re still burning up.”

“Mmmm…” He stirred and moaned in his sleep.

 Thinking of what she has to do first, she looks around.

 She snapped her fingers and knelt beside the couch.

“Jiyong-ah,” She softly called, gently shaking his arm.

“Mmmm...” He blinked and started rubbing his eyes.

“Jiyong-ah,”

He turned his head slightly to the side and looked at her.

Not believing what he was seeing, he rubbed his eyes again.

“D-Dara?” He spoke in a weak raspy voice.

When she started pushing himself up, she helped him sit.

“Jiyong-ah,” She said holding unto his arm. “Are you okay to take a shower? It can help reduce your temperature.”

He nods his head weakly.

“I’ll help you up,” She said, slowly pulling him up from the couch.

Like a kid, he followed her wherever she led him.

When they were inside the room, Dara opened the bathroom door.

“Don’t take too long, okay? I’ll just prepare you some food and come back.”

“Just leave the door open.” He spoke when he saw that she was about to close the door.

Dara placed a tray on the kitchen counter.

She carefully puts a bowl of porridge on it and a glass of water.

When she got back to the room, Jiyong was still in the bathroom.

She set the tray on his desk, and then she went to his closet room to get some clean clothes.

After she was done, she came out and was surprised to see him sitting on his bed wearing only a towel around his waist.

He was drying his hair with a small towel and didn’t notice her.

“Wear this.” Dara handed him the clothes then turns around to leave his room.

“Where are you going?”

“You’re food is on the desk, eat it before it gets cold. I’ll be in the living room if you need me.” She said without looking back.

“Why do you have to go out?” He asked.

She can feel herself getting nervous when he heard his footsteps getting closer.

He leaned closer and she felt the warmth of his body against her back.

“Don’t tell me you’re feeling awkward around me.” He spoke huskily into her ear.

His voice sent a shiver down her spine but she shook the feeling off and faced him. “Of course not.”

 “Then prove it.” He smirked at her.  “Stay here until I get better.”

“Me? Stay here? In your apartment? “She gasped. “Are you out of your mind?”

Jiyong arched his eyebrow. “Wae? You lived here be- ohh… yeah…”

He slapped his hand against his forehead. “I forgot. Jung Il Woo! Tsk! How stupid of me. I’m sorry, Dara. Must be the fever that’s making me forgetful.”

“N-no, it’s okay. “ She lowered her gaze. “I’ll stay.”

Feeling completely dumbfounded, Jiyong stepped closer to her. “I was just joking, Dara. You don’t really have to stay. I can handle myself. And besides, Il-Woo might-“

“He won’t mind.” She cuts him off.

He laughs out loud. “That’s impossible, Dara. He’s your boyfriend, having you here will-“

“We broke up.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Wha-what??!! He tilted his head very slightly in wonder. “What did you just say, Dara?”

She sighs and looks at him. “I said we broke up.”

“Oh, God.” He said, reaching for her hand and leading her to sit on his bed.

“Dara, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” He apologized as he sat beside her. “Was it because…”

She looked ahead not meeting his gaze.

“Was it because of the kiss?” He asked curiously.

She just remained quiet, lowering her eyes to the floor.

“It was because of me, isn’t it?” He palm-slapped his forehead. “Dammit!”

Hearing Jiyong’s conclusion, Dara threw her head back and laughed.

“Aigoo. Can you hear yourself talking, Ji?” She said, wiping her tears while chuckling. “Do you know how insincere you sound like?”

Puzzled, Jiyong stared at her in disbelief. “You and your highly reliable, caring, loving, and most of all, loyal boyfriend, broke up because of me and you’re laughing.”

“BWAHAHAHAHA.”

“Dara,”

She tries to calm herself down.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Jiyong-ah.” She said glancing at him. “We broke up not because of you or the kiss.”

“Then what?” He exasperatedly asked. “What was the reason?”

She looks at him and slightly her head to the side. “I’ll tell you once you’re done dressing up and after you finish eating the porridge I made for you.”

Minutes later…

“Yah,” Jiyong whined, pushing off the blanket that Dara had placed over him. “I feel hot already.”

She clicked her tongue and tucked him up in bed.

“This is totally unnecessary, Dara-ah.” He frowned while staring up at the ceiling. “I feel like a kid waiting for his mom to tell him a story.”

“Shhh…” She shushed him by placing a towel soaked in cold water on his forehead.

He winced. “Yah, it’s freaking cold.”

“Shut up, you need it.” She hissed.

“Okay, now I’m done with my part. It’s your turn now.” He patted the space beside him.

She sat on the bed with one leg bent underneath her and the other leg still hanging over the edge.

“So why did you guys break up?”

Taking a deep breath, she leaned against the headboard.

“Jung Il Woo is really a great guy.” She began.  “He pursued me even thought he knows that I’m still not ready for a new relationship.”

“How did he know you’re not ready? Did you tell him?” He questioned.

“I did.” She simply answered. “I told him that I’m still… I’m still in love with someone else. And I also mentioned to him that it will take awhile for me to open up again.”

“Is it because of Park Tae Hwan?”

She gave out a light chuckle.

“He told me he was okay with it for as long as I give him a chance.” She continued, completely disregarding his question.

He sighed. “And then.”

“We started dating so that we can get to know more about each other. After awhile, I realized that I was really enjoying his company.”

Underneath the blanket, Jiyong’s hand balled up into a fist. “What went wrong?”

“Everything.” Dara answered quietly, looking down and playing with her fingers. “He was too perfect for me that I couldn’t stand it.”

“There was one time when he asked me what my feelings are for him. I didn’t answer but I guess he could read right through me. He told me that even if I can’t give him my all or even half of me in our relationship, he wouldn’t mind filling up whatever I lack.”

Jiyong listened in awe. “He really is some guy, huh?”

“Some guy, yeah.” She agreed. “But ‘some guy’ doesn’t make me happy.”

“So who makes you happy?” He asked.

She looked down at him and scoffs. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

“MWOH???!” He exclaimed in disbelief.

“Oops, it’s bedtime.” She said sliding into bed beside him.

She faced the opposite side and closed her eyes, leaving Jiyong with his mouth hanging open.

“Sleep now, Ji.”

++++++++++

An hour had passed; Jiyong kept tossing and turning in his bed not minding if Dara wouldn't be able to sleep.

Right now he's really annoyed that she left him hanging.

He kept thinking about who she was referring to that makes her happy.

It's obviously not him since he caused her lots of heartaches.

Even though she confessed to him that she still loves him, he doubts if it’s true.

She was really drunk the night she confessed, so to him it doesn’t count.

“Aishhh!” He muttered as he turned his body around.

“Jiyong-ah.” She called.

“Ay-wae?” He replied in a slightly irritated tone.

“I’m… I’m cold.” She said followed by a sneeze.

“Oh, no. “He quickly turns around to face her. “You caught the flu from me?”

He propped himself up and feel her forehead.

“Relax, Jiyong.” She chuckled, taking his hand off.

She turned her body around so that she can see his face. “I’m just cold because you keep pulling the blanket away from me. Babo!”

“Uh…” Jiyong uttered, feeling stupid.

He put the blanket over her making sure she’s warm and comfy. “Feeling better now?”

She bit her lower lip like she was thinking. “I would feel warmer if you wrapped you arms around me.”

Jiyong was surprise at her suggestion. “A-are you s-sure?”

She smiles and nods enthusiastically, making him laugh.

She moved into his arms and snuggled her head on his shoulder.

Smiling from ear to ear, she closed her eyes.

Jiyong can’t help but marvel at the sight before him.

He stared at her for a long time and wondered if what he was seeing is real.

With his free hand, he caressed her face tenderly as if he was trying to confirm if she really was real.

“Jiyong-ah,” She spoke with eyes still closed.

“Ne,”

“Are you still thinking about what I said earlier?”

“What? About the man who is making you happy?” He asked.  “Of course not, why should I?

Dara’s eyes snapped open. “You should.”

He moved a little to lay his back on the bed.

Staring at the ceiling, he scoffs.  “God, Dara. You really know how to set up a mood, don’t you? Why would I want to know the man who’s making you happy? Is it bec-”

“Because it’s you.”

He snapped his head towards her, carefully reading her. “Dara, are you messing up with my head. No, let me rephrase that.”

Propping up on one arm, he looks intently at her. “Are you playing me for a fool?”

Her eyes widen in shock.

“Because if you are, I've got news for you.” He said looking pissed as he points to himself. “I’m the player here in case you’ve forgotten.”

She sat up and scoffs back at him in utter disbelief. “What’s that supposed to mean?  You think I’m playing you?”

“I didn’t say that.” He sat up rubbing a hand over his face in frustration. “I just don’t understand you anymore, Dara. One minute you’re cold the next minute you’re all over me.”

Dara wanted to talk back but there was something about his outburst made her want to just listen.

“Is this your return because I cheated on you?” He asked looking straight into her eyes. “If it is, then newsflash, you win.”

 He took a deep breath and looked away. “I know I hurt you Dara, and everyday I regret everything I've done to you. If you can’t find it in you heart to forgive me then I’ll happily wish you well to whomever you want to be with. I’ll even disappear from your sight f you want me to. But after you told me before that you missed me and you still love me, I was hoping. I was hoping to get you back. I want you back so desperately that even just a little time with you, I’ll seize it. Please, Dara “His voice cracked. “Let’s stop with the mind games. I get it already. I’m guilty. I’m a f^cking jerk that messed up and let you slip away and now…”

Tears started welling up in his eyes. He took a deep, shaky breath before looking back at her.

 “Now, I don’t know.” His voice faltered. “Will you still accept me? Or is it it’s too late?”

Dara swallowed hard after seeing the pained expression on his face.

 “I love you so much, Dara… I really do…”

With that he broke down and wept, burying his face in his hands.

Dara covered and closed her eyes.

Tears flowed as she suppressed a sob.

She crawled towards him.

Kneeling on the bed in front of him, she wraps him in her arms.

“Dara, I’m so sorry.” She heard him say in a muffled voice.

She looks down at him, cupped his face with her hands and made him look at her.

Smiling with tears in her eyes, she placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Let’s start over again, Jiyong-ah.”

That was the only sign he needed.

Jiyong reached up and cupped the back of her neck with one hand, gently pressing his lips to hers.

She took the initiative to deepen the kiss by slightly opening to give him access.

He took the invitation and explored her wet cavern, brushing his tongue against hers.

Slowly and gently, without breaking their passionate kiss, he lays her on the bed.

When he heard her sharp intake of breath, he broke their kiss and checks on her.

Even in the dark room with only one table lamp lit, he can still see her tears flowing.

“Are you sure of this, baby?” He asked in a soft voice. “Do you really want us to start over?”

She caressed the side of his face and nods her head. “I really really want to, Jiyongie.”

He saw the sincerity in her and wondered how can there be a person like her living in this world.

A tear rolled down his eyes and it fell on her cheek.

“Do you want to know why?” She asked, wiping the trace of tear on his face.

“Why?” He asked in a strained voice.

“Because I’m happy when I’m loving you.”

It may sound unreal or crazy to him, but after what she said, he made a vow never to hurt her again.

++++++++++

“For the nth time, baby.” Jiyong sighed. “I said I’m okay.”

He pulled Dara closer to him and felt the warmth of her body under the blanket.

“I’m just worried.” She said, pouting as she rests her head back on his bare chest.

“I’m fine, honest.” He places their entwined hands on his chest. “How about you? “

“I feel wonderful.” She giggles, snuggling up to him. “But…”

“But what?” He asked looking at her, alarmed.

“Jiyong-ah, we didn’t use protection again.” She said. “And we did it four times.”

He took a deep breath and embraced her. “Are you scared?”

“To be honest,” She looks up at him. “I’m not. You?”

He smiled and gave her a kiss on the lips. “I’m positive that I’m not.”

She smiles and settled her head.

“Jiyong-ah, do you remember the first time we did it?” She asked playing with their fingers.

He chucked. “How could I forget? You went berserk after a month.”

“Well what do you expect? My period got delayed for a week.”

“I know.” He spoke in a serious tone. “I’ve never seen you so scared.”

“Back then, I was thinking about our careers.” She explained. “I was also thinking about what the people around us are going to say.”

“I really don’t want to be reminded of that day.” He said, caressing her bare shoulder with his other hand.

“The first time we did it?”

“No, the time when you were so distressed. I panicked too, you know. Not because I was afraid but because I felt responsible for your worries. I was stupid when I didn’t practice safe with you when I usually do with… “

Her sudden movement made him stop talking. “You know what I mean, baby. It’s all in the past.”

“I know, but it still irks me.”

“Arasseo, arasseo. Let’s stop here.” He said kissing the top of her head. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

 She looks up at him and smiles teasingly. “Want another round?”

“We did it four times already.”

“KWON JIYONG ARE YOU COMPLAINING???!!” She said out loud.

He covered with his hand and laughed. “Aigoo! Do you want to wake up the neighbors?”

“Hmmmpp.” She laid her head on the pillow, making him frown.

“Is my baby angry with me?” He draped his arm over her tummy and shook her.

“No,” She replied staring at the ceiling.

“Then what are you thinking?” He asked, suddenly kissing her jaw line while brushing her hair away from the side of her neck.

Feeling the sensation, she slowly closed her eyes as he started going down her neck.

“Ah.. Aren’t…you... going to ask me…mmmm…” She moaned when he slid his hands between her legs.

“Ask you what, baby?” He stopped what he was doing.

Opening her eyes and glancing at him. “Anything.”

She pulled the blanket up to her chest. “You know… Tae Hwan and Il Woo… If we…”

He stared at her for a moment. “If you did it with them?”

She looks at him. “Yeah, aren’t you curious?”

He chuckled and lay down his head on the pillow. “I will be, if I feel anything different about you.”

She propped herself up. “What do you mean?”

“Nobody knows your body like I do, Dara.” He pinched her cheek lightly and grinned.  “I know you didn’t sleep with anyone of them.”

“H-how did you know?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Because I know.” He winks, grabbing her waist as he pulled her closer. “It’s hard to explain but I just know.”

“Aissshhhh…” She climbed on top of him, straddling him. “You said you know my body well, right?”

She grins and looks down. “But I bet you don’t know my mind.”

“Why do I get this feeling that I should be nervous?”

Without a warning she took him inside her.

-----+===[AUTHOR'S NOTE]===+-----

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